A/N: Lovelies, did you think that I had forgotten about you? So sorry for the late update but I knew I needed to make changes to this chapter but I couldn't quite see all of them in my mind working on it chapter by chapter. I actually needed to edit the entire case as a whole to avoid plot holes and it took a little longer than I expected. Also the stinger at the end was giving me a bit of trouble because I wasn't sure what went there right away and I didn't want to skip it and then finally the plot bunny hopped into town yesterday and so then I had to write it. Again this is a familiar case for you guys but I really like the edits I'm getting in here because I felt like in the prior version of the story I didn't do a great job fleshing out characters like Yasu and Masako, so I really wanted to try harder this time around.
Also as we go further into this case the formatting is getting a little tricky so I hope you can follow along with me.
In general I use italics to show when Mainis remembering flashes of conversation she's had with someone previously the way we often do in real life when we're talking to somebody. However further on in this case she is remembering an entire conversation in which this is also happening so in that case during the flashback which is italicized, the line she's remembering from conversations even before that are bold and italicized.
I'm very sorry if this gets confusing but I feel like Mai as a character spends a lot of time thinking about things people have said to her and it heavily influences things she says in current conversations. It probably isn't grammatically correct but it's really difficult to relay a character's thoughts while demonstrating how it's affecting their current actions and conversation.
In the anime Mai is portrayed as somewhat of a simple character but I really feel like at times you get to see how deep she is and how secretive she can be, and secretive characters aren't actually a shallow as they come off. Since this is written mostly from Mai's oint of view I wanted you guys to get to see a glimpse of all the things she's weighing and remembering compared to the persona she is showing the world.
Here is where I will end the worlds longest authors note.
Trigger warnings: suicide
As always, not my sandbox just my sandcastle.
Refraction Case Four Part Two
"The Weight Of Heavy Things"
"The floor was comfortably solid. It was comforting to know that I had fallen and could fall no farther." - Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
'It really was a beautiful building.' Mai thought to herself as she stared up at the Church. Nearly five stories at the highest points, it had weathered better than most. Though nowhere as large as some she had seen, it still had an elegance to it, like an elderly lady who had borne her years well.
But it felt so…what was it? Nostalgic? Melancholy? Lonely?
She could almost taste the ambient emotions on her tongue…
"All good there, Mai?" John's face popped into view, and she stepped back, blinking.
Sad. As simple and profound as that.
This place felt sad.
"Yeah, sorry." She laughed at herself, shaking her head a little in embarrassment.
"Just trying to get a feel for the area." It seemed a little silly, actually, how emotional his place made her feel when John was standing not five feet away. If anyone had the right to feel sad standing in front of a church, it was him, not her.
"No harm in that." He said easily, shifting the box he held in his arms. "It's kind of your job to daydream, after all."
"Please don't let Naru hear you say that." Mai said, grimacing. His description wasn't inaccurate, but it still made her terribly uncomfortable. How useful could a person be if they were actually a better investigator when they were unconscious?
"Your secret's safe with me." John grinned, and she was struck all over again by how good looking he was. She could still remember Ayako's shocked face when she had learned that Catholic Priests didn't date.
"What a waste." Ayako had proclaimed, shaking her head in mock horror.
When she had first met him years ago, she had nearly mistaken him for a beautiful thirteen-year old girl. Honestly, between Naru, Masako and John, she had felt quite the ugly duckling in the group. Even Lin and Ayako were decidedly good looking. And Bou-san had an actual fan club.
So actually, she had been the ugly duckling of the group.
The years had seen John grow, albeit only a little. He was still the smallest in stature among the men of her group, only an inch or so taller than her. His cheek bones were perhaps a little more pronounced. His hair was a little shaggier.
But the biggest change was something less physical. His eyes seemed so much older. Older and tired.
They had lost their light.
She wondered if there was any way to get him to talk to her about what had happened, or even better, one of his old superiors at the church….
"Mai!" She heard Naru's cross voice coming up from behind John, and she grimaced silently to the blond, holding a finger to her lips conspiratorially.
He winked back, and she shook her head.
'Such a waste...' she laughed silently to herself.
"Grabbing a box now, Naru!" She said, quickly turning to the van John and the others had started unloading. She only got a few steps however before a hand on her shoulder had her pausing to look up at her boss inquisitively.
Yeah. He was definitely still mad about their fight last night...
"John and Lin can handle the boxes." He said dismissively, and she frowned. Though yesterday he had given the appearance of caring about John's possible feelings about the case, this morning he seemed cross not just with her but John as well.
"The caretaker who is supposed to liaison with us is nowhere to be found. The room for the base is just inside the door however. We'll take care of the equipment while we wait for the caretaker." Naru said in a clipped tone, handing her one of the new handheld cameras.
Irritation was rolling off him in waves she could almost feel.
"We shouldn't explore the rest of the interior until he is here. However, Masako only has today and tomorrow to assist us. Take one of the new camcorders and do a walk-through of the grounds. Take notes of any spirits she finds. And don't drop the camera. You'll drive our premiums up." With that, he turned on his heel and stride back to the van.
"Yes, Sir!" She snapped a salute like she'd seen on TV, sticking her tongue out at his retreating back.
Jerk.
"What have you done to him now?" Masako asked in amusement as she glided over to where Mai stood, fiddling with the camera. She was actually fond of photography when she wasn't caught under a glare that could drop the temperature of a room by ten degrees before they encountered the actual ghosts…
"Me? To him? Nothing..." Mai scoffed, quickly turning her face away.
No matter how close she and Masako had become over the years, she was not interested in rehashing the argument she and Naru had had last night at the office after the client had left. John and Yasu had gone home already too, and if Lin had heard it, he certainly wasn't going to say anything to her about it.
Time to change the subject…..
"How did your appointment with the school counselor go last night? Are you happy with your classes?"
Though, now that Mai was thinking about it, Lin did seem to be acting a little colder to her than usual the last few days anyway. Not that he had been exactly thrilled with her back on the mountain.
One step forward, eight steps back. At least her ankle was behaving today.
She and Masako began their walk around the Church grounds. From Yasu's notes, she knew it had been built soon after the ban on Christianity had been lifted, making it one of the oldest ones in the area.
It was so quiet though. Though the church was situated in a relatively prosperous neighborhood, much like many family shrines, it owned the land for several acres around it in all directions. It was almost like it was situated in the middle of its own private park.
There were trees all around, crowding nearly up to the driveway and footpaths in some places.
"Ayako would have loved it here." Masako commented quietly, and Mai nodded glumly.
Ayako had claimed she wasn't able to switch her shifts at the hospital, but Mai had a suspicion it was because she wasn't ready to be around Bou-san so soon after their last case. She'd been pretty out of it by the time Ayako had gotten there, but that last image, of Ayako in front of the bridge, illuminated by lightning, Bou-San behind her…..
Bou-san himself wouldn't be there until later this evening, so for the moment, it was only the five of them.
Mai made sure to hold the camera steady as she panned around the area. They passed several small buildings, and even a small cemetery.
"Sensing any spirits?" She asked, turning the camera towards Masako.
Masako frowned in concentration. "Yes, several. They all seem very sad, but otherwise fairly quiet. Perhaps I'll be able to tell more once we are in the actual church." She finished.
Mai nodded. Though she couldn't sense spirits the way Masako could, everything her own instincts were telling her matched the younger girl's statements.
Unlike the church they had visited on Christmas Eve years ago, this was just a sad place.
Could simple human emotions be enough to imprint on a place? Could something like that trigger latent suicidal tendencies in someone? She thought about asking Naru later, but doubted he'd answer. Not in his current mood, anyway.
Which sucked, because during the lantern festival, when he'd been discussing his thoughts with her about the case it had been…..
Well. It was probably better that she stop thinking about it, especially after last night's argument.
They'd nearly circled back around to the vehicles when, as one, the two girls suddenly stopped.
Something was different.
She could feel the hairs on her arms stand up. She panned the camera around again, but couldn't see anything.
"The wind has picked up, but the trees do not appear to be moving." Mai narrated quietly for the sake of the camera. Naru had made it a point to tell her to describe what they were experiencing.
In fact, despite the wind, the air had a heavy quality. It seemed harder to breathe. It was getting cooler, too. But perhaps that was just the wind...
Even the light seemed different suddenly, like a storm was approaching.
"Mai..." Masako's voice had an echoing quality to it as she suddenly grabbed Mai's free hand. She was staring up at the tallest section of the church's roof. There was a balcony of sorts on what could only be described as a turret.
"I see him." Mai mumbled, her lips feeling strangely numb and stiff. She suddenly felt a little light headed.
It wasn't the first time the two girls had shared a vision. Mai had matched Masako's wavelength enough times in the past that it wasn't even that surprising for them to share a vision anymore.
But this felt...weird.
Despite being lightheaded, her arms and legs felt heavy as she stared numbly at the man standing on the roof.
Is this a vision of Father Higerashi?
She felt almost like she was dreaming, or sleepwalking. She wondered if she was managing to get it on camera but her arms felt too heavy to even shift the camera.
I can't move...
She WAS awake right now, she was certain.
Well, pretty certain.
The man stood swaying on the roof's edge. He was too far up to see his facial expressions, but Mai felt like she was drowning in his sorrow, even down below.
So heavy...
This doesn't feel right...should they just watch?
But they couldn't change a vision. This was just some horrible echo of a tragedy that had already occurred.
But it still felt so wrong...she couldn't look away.
She didn't like this at all. She was used to her powers acting up sometimes, but she really didn't like this at all.
Her chest was tightening with anxiety that had nowhere to escape to, her limbs felt like they weighed a thousand pounds.
"Masako? Mai? Everything all right- oh no!" John dropped the box he was carrying, sprinting away from the two girls, into the church.
"Something's wrong!"Mai said, or tried to say, panic starting to unfurl in her stomach. She didn't think she actually managed to speak the words however. They felt trapped behind her lips.
John shouldn't have been able to see the vision.
But she still couldn't move!
If John could see it too….
"Is this...really... happening?" Masako's words were slow and stumbling, as if she were drunk.
Mai felt the same, like the time she had sprained her elbow and Ayako had given her a strong pain killer the first night to help her sleep. She'd quickly learned better.
The panic was climbing its way into her throat now, making it even harder to get a good breath.
"This IS happening...", she managed to whisper, straining against her own body.
Move-move-move-!
The man, whoever he was, was about to jump. She knew instinctively that John would never reach him in time.
But she couldn't move, couldn't look away.
She was about to watch him die, she realized, still frozen.
She'd seen death. Even seen someone jump to their death before. She and Masako saw death all the time. But it was usually nothing more than echoes. A ghost's memories. And that fact honestly helped keep her sane.
Because there was just so much death in the world.
The truth was, in the past the guys on the team had tried to keep her and Masako away from things like actual bodies.
But now she was watching it happen, to a real person, right in front of her...
Her heart was pounding in her chest, trying to break out of her rib cage. She was straining so hard to move that flecks of light were begging to dance at the edge of her vision.
The man was going to jump and it would be partially their fault. They had seen it first but done nothing, mistaking it for a vision.
Why couldn't she move?!
The man took a last step forward. When he fell he would literally land only a few yards from them.
"Help.." She whispered, but the words had no strength in them. She felt tears begin to track down her cheeks, but she was unable to even wipe them away.
She didn't want to see this!
The man pitched forward, and a scream tore its way up Mai's throat before it, too, was caught.
Why could she never say what she needed to say?
He was falling, not a sound from his own lips-
A hand suddenly covered her eyes, shocking her with its warmth.
Or was it that she was cold?
She was pulled back against someone's chest, eyes still covered...
She smelled tea.
"Naru?" And how was it that that word, among all the others, managed to break free?
"Shhhhh". He said, so close to her ear she could feel his breath in her face and she sagged against him as he dragged her backwards.
She always thought of him as cold natured, but over and over again, he turned out to be so much warmer than her…..
Mai's thoughts careened wildly, random and panicked. Naru had her clasped to his chest, and she thought his arm might be the only thing anchoring her to sanity at that moment.
There was a dull thud, and her knees went out.
Naru and Yasu had done their best to fill the still-disoriented girls in afterwards.
John had become concerned when he had seen them standing there, just staring at the roof.
They hadn't responded to his calls, hadn't even indicated they had heard him, in fact.
From his position, he hadn't been able to see what they were staring at until he had come closer. Upon realizing the situation, he had run into the church, but like Mai had already known, it was too late.
Naru and Yasu's first indication of trouble had been when John had run past them, yelling "Get the girls".
They had, in turn, retraced John's steps to where Mai and Masako were standing, getting there in time to do little more than pull them further away from the potential impact.
"I was half-afraid he was going to land on you." Yasu said, shaking his head again.
"You two were standing there like you were hypnotized. And you were freezing cold." He added in a low voice, turning to look at Masako where she sat, wearing one of Yasu's hoodies.
Mai realized with a start that she was still wearing Naru's suit jacket. She looked down at her own hands in surprise. His arms were longer, and the sleeves easily covered her palms, just her fingers peaked out at her.
She honestly didn't even remember him giving it to her. The whole episode had taken on a dreamlike quality, for which she was immensely grateful. Her bones hurt with the echo of cold.
"And you and Hara-San were just standing there?" The Police Officer asked, and Mai imagined she could hear censure in his voice.
She didn't blame him at all. They HAD just stood there. At least John had tried to help...
Beside her, Masako breathed in sharply, a little choking, wounded gasp. She opened her mouth to answer for both of them, but couldn't think of a single worthy reply. She covered her mouth with her hands to stifle her own small sob that escaped.
Oh, kami-sama. They had let that man die.
She closed her eyes, trying to control her breathing. Police frightened her on a good day.
And this was not a good day.
"They were obviously in shock." Naru's cool voice cut through the night, startling the officer, who flushed. "What exactly would you have had two young women do? Brown-San was already inside." He strode up to the van, coming to stand between the girls and the officer questioning them.
"Of course." The Officer said, retreating quickly from Naru's cutting words.
It was unlike Naru. He normally insisted on being professional, if not courteous to local law enforcement. He'd rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt, his forearms pale against the dark linen. He'd done the same thing at the lantern festival, and she wondered if it was a new habit of his, or if it was somehow because she was always ending up in his jacket.
"There wasn't anything you could do, you know that, right?" Yasu asked in a worried voice, hugging both girls to him.
She nodded. Intellectually, at least, she understood. The Spirit had held them in some sort of trance, apparently wanting an audience this time around. Mai had somehow gotten most of it on camera, which Naru had turned over to the police.
But it did nothing to appease the crushing sense of guilt she felt.
Would this have happened if she had listened to Naru last night?
"Mai!" Bou-san's voice broke through her stupor as he rushed up to her. "I just got here. Is everyone alright?" He looked their small group over frantically, particularly the three youngest members.
Mai nodded numbly, as did Masako and Yasu.
She was fine. She was always fine. It was everyone around her that seemed to get hurt…..
"The police apparently have concluded that this has somehow become a "hot spot" for people wanting to commit suicide, the way some bridges in larger cities are." The disdain was clear in Naru's voice. "They're already ready to declare it a suicide, based on Mai's footage."
"Who was he?" Mai asked quietly, dreading the answer.
Who was the man they had allowed to die?
"The caretaker." Naru replied after a moment, sounding almost reluctant. She could feel his eyes on her, but she didn't look up, staring instead at her clasped hands.
"Well, at least we know now that this place is definitely haunted." Lin concluded solemnly.
Mai closed her eyes, struggling again against the hysterical sobs that wanted to break free.
"The police have agreed to release the scene tomorrow. For tonight, we'll all head to a motel. We have a lot of gear we need to get ready." Naru stated. She had the feeling he was trying to distract them.
Mai turned to look at the church one last time as she climbed in the van beside Naru. She could still feel him watching her, and she wondered if he, too, was remembering their fight last night.
"I wish we could have proven it a different way."
*******stinger*****
Mai sighed as she stared out the window at the darkening sky. Clouds were rolling in, and it would rain soon. She hadn't brought an umbrella so if she got caught in it she'd have to dash for it. She should leave now but instead she found herself staring out the window drinking a cup of tea that had gone cold a long time ago, waiting.
That meant there was a reason she needed to wait that just hadn't made itself apparent to her yet.
But she wished it would hurry because she really didn't want to get caught in the rain. she still needed to pack for their case in the morning.
Her phone rang and she sighed quietly before answering it without bothering to look at the display.
"Hey Ayako. The ankle? It's doing really well. It hasn't hurt in a few days now. The cream you prescribed really worked wonders."
She listened another moment, still watching the sky.
"Lasagna? Of course. You make the best lasagna. But I won't be home for a little bit. I need to push through the rest of my summer homework before we leave for the case tomorrow. Could you just leave it in front of my apartment door and I'll get it as soon as I get home?"
She listened again, nodding a little. "Of course I'm not tired of your cooking? What college kid turns down free food?"
Watching as lightning arched across the sky, she quickly changed her intonation.
"hey Ayako, let me jump off really quick here, Yasu just sent me the link from Bou-san's concert last night and I really want to see how he did. They put it up on the website you know but yeah he sends me the link anyway."
She smiled to herself when the red head quickly ended the conversation. She was probably running over to her own personal computer to get on the website even as she did, not that she would ever admit to following her ex's social media.
Flipping her phone open, she dialed the next number by memory.
"Hey Bou-san, I just got the link to your video. It's amazing…"
"Mm-hmm, yeah. I'll definitely come by practice next week. Listen, can you do me a favor? I forgot that I asked Ayako to make me a batch of her famous lasagna. She's dropping it off tonight, but I'm buried here at work for a few more hours. Could you run by and get it in about half a hour? I'll feel awful if it goes to waste. Just take it back to practice with you and share it with the guys. You guys never get real meals in any way this close to a concert."
She listened to his reply. "Thanks Bou-san. You're a real lifesaver."
She hung up, sighing again. Looked like she was stuck at work for a little longer if she wanted to stay out of Bou-san and Ayako's way.
Her phone puzzled again.
"Hey, Masako, what's up?"
A smattering of rain drops splattered against the window pain, and she traced them idly.
"No, you should definitely wear those jeans to the meeting with the counselor…"
" Your classes? I thought you had them picked out…"
"Of course, I'll help. I'll- Hey Masako, Bou-san's calling me. Let me call you right back."
The lie fell easily from her lips as she dialed the next number.
"Hey Yasu, I need your help. I promised to help Masako pick her classes for this semester, but I can't get a hold of John and I'm worried. Could you give her a call? You're a better student anyway…."
She nodded at his reply.
"You're amazing. Thank you. She's really worried. I gotta go."
She snapped her phone shut, exhaling, closing her eyes. In her next life, she should be cupid. Was she finally done?
Her phone buzzed again, and she opened her eyes, shaking her head a little in bemusement. When it rained, it poured.
"Father Naoya, how can I help you?"
She was silent for a few moments while the older man talked.
She smiled again. "Of course I'll help. But you're right. He'll probably turn you down if you try it directly."
She thought for a moment, looking at the clock, considering.
"Do you remember where my apartment building is? If you leave the groceries with my landlady I'll see if they make their way over to John and I won't let them know they came from you."
"Mm-hm. Of course, any time."
She hung up, shaking her head.
Goodness.
Flipping open her phone one last time, she dialed again.
"John, I'm so sorry to ask this with the weather being so awful. Bou-san bought me groceries but he left them with my land lady because I'm not home yet. The rain's delaying the trains. And honestly, Ayako just brought me lasagna and I don't have room for them in my fridge. Could you take them to your place? I just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. But if you don't want to go out in this weather I completely understand. I'm just afraid they'll go bad…."
"Oh, gosh. Thank you John, I was running out of ideas. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye!"
She snapped her phone shut. Surely that was it, right?
"Mai, could you come in here for a moment please?"
She sighed. She should have made more tea.