I don't remember this dream I had in 2011 so I decided to actually make it into a story. its 2022 right now
"So you need DNA of someone to do your evil deeds?" Gintoki asked the elderly man. The Yorozuya trio were sitting across from him on the couch at the Yorozuya. "Like a strand of hair?"
"I never said it anything about evil deeds," the elderly man said nervously, fidgeting his fingers. "But yes."
"What are you planning to do with it?" Shinpachi asked.
"Here you go!" Kagura said, cutting Shinpachi off. She had pulled out a strand of her hair and offered it to him. "It's Grade A Yato DNA."
"Oh uh, no thanks," the elderly man refused nervously, he averted his eyes. "I need human DNA."
Kagura looked at Gintoki with evil intentions. Gintoki looked at Kagura in fear but Kagura grabbed his hair before he could do anything.
"Owowow leave Gin-san's precious hair alone!" Gintoki cried.
"So what is the DNA going to be used for?" Shinpachi asked again, nonchalantly ignoring the chaos beside him.
"Shin-chan," Tae called out from in entrance of the Yorozuya. She walked in and saw the trio sitting with the elderly man.
"Sister!" Shinpachi answered enthusiastically.
"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were with a client. I'll come back later."
The elderly man looked at Tae from the doorway. Sparks began to fly in his imagination. It was love at first sight.
"Wait! Give me your DNA!" the elderly man yelled as he ran toward Tae. Tae looked at him with intense disgust and kicked his head into the ground.
"Like hell you old man!" Tae screamed.
The elderly man woke up from his blackout. Shinpachi and Tae had long since left.
"Oi, you're awake?" Kagura asked, hovering over him. She held out a strand of silvery white hair. "Here is human DNA."
The elderly man looked at the hair strand that Kagura was holding.
'I need to get weak, predictable DNA,' the elderly man thought to himself. Shinpachi seemed to be a good choice, but he was gone. 'In the end, my DNA is best.'
"No thanks," the elderly man said. Kagura looked at the strand of hair and patted it on the elderly man as he got up from the ground. Gintoki walked up to him holding a couple of hairs, supposedly from different people.
"Take your pick", Gintoki told him as he began. " This one is a terrorist. This one is a gorilla. This one is a Madao. This one is an old hag..."
"It's Ok. I found my DNA," the elderly man said with resolve. He handed Gintoki and envelope with cash for his services and left.
The elderly man went to a lab and put on a lab coat. He looked at 12 cylinders filled with blue liquid. They housed human like beings. He began to imagine using the DNA to make himself look younger and multiply himself. Then he imagined Tae lovingly running towards him. He then imagined all the fun he'd have with her with his clones. He laughed creepily. Eager, he looked into a a reflective object and noticed a white silvery hair on his shoulder. He carefully placed the white hair in a test tube filled with solution.
'The best DNA is my own DNA,' he repeated to himself, assuming the strand of hair was his(wink).
A week had passed. Tae had just began walking home from work and was a bit fatigued. She looked up ahead and seen a familiar face in the alley way. Gintoki was peeking out toward her from an alleyway. He looked at her with sharp eyes without saying a word. Tae felt that it was weird that he seemed to be hiding so she didn't say anything. As she got closer, he walked away into an alley, almost disappearing from her sight. Tae ran toward the alley. She seen Gintoki walking away from her.
"Gin-san? " Tae asked worryingly. Gintoki stopped, but didn't turn his face toward her. He didn't say anything. "What's wrong?"
Gintoki slowly moved his head around and looked at her. He smirked. His eyes were a glowing blue. Tae let out a sudden gasp at the realization that the person wasn't Gintoki.
It was in a foggy filed. Kagura and Shinpachi were standing back to back with each other, each wielding their respective weapons. They were surrounded with a about 9 blue eyed Gintoki clones. How did they get there? They followed a Gintoki clone. They knew it wasn't Gintoki when they followed, but Shinpachi hoped that this is a clue as to where his sister was. The clones didn't speak so Shinpachi didn't get much of an answer though. In the end, the clones wanted to kill them. It was predictable.
"Kagura, do you think these clones are as strong as the real thing?" Shinpachi asked. He was nervous at the thought of fighting Gin. Kagura didn't give him an answer so that made Shinpachi uneasy.
"Excuse me mister clones," Shinpachi bargained. "Let's just talk this out."
"Bring us back Anego!" Kagura demanded with arrogance and confidence. Shinpachi looked at Kagura in horror.
"Shinpachi-kun! Kagura-chan!" Gintoki yelled as he entered the Yorozuya and fell down the floor. It was nighttime. He was drunk and tired.
"Arf!" Sadaharu barked.
"Aa Sadaharu, can you-" Gintoki started but Sadaharu bit his head and started violently shaking him. He was acting weird. Gintoki forced himself out Sadaharu's mouth. "Hey what do-"
Before Gintoki could finish that sentence, he puked in a bag. Sadaharu ran around him bit his clothes, dragging him practically outside.
"What? You want me to go for a walk?" Gintoki asked with tired eyes no enthusiasm in his voice. Once he got a good look at Sadaharu, he noticed that he seemed to be on edge. "Oi, is something wrong?"
Gintoki was laying uncomfortably on top of Sadaharu. He might've passed out at some point so he didn't notice where they were. He actually didn't know how he even got on top of Sadaharu. Sadaharu then stopped.
"Is this where they are?" Gintoki asked, assuming Sadaharu brought him here because of Shinpachi and Kagura. He looked around and noticed a clean, foggy-ish field with occasional trees. Where the hell did Sadaharu take him?! How long was he out!? He threw up again, but this time at a nearby tree. "I chose a bad time to drink."
Gintoki's sharp eyes noticed two shadow figures moving through the fog. Sadaharu growled. Whoever they were, they weren't Shinpachi or Kagura. They slowly came out of the fog and faced Gintoki. They looked just like him but Gintoki didn't look too surprised. The two clones lunged at him, without saying so much as a word.