March 1812

Darcy was disappointed that he hadn't had an opportunity to talk with Elizabeth about their feelings, and he was running out of time. His cousin's wedding was scheduled for the following week, and then he would go to Scotland for his sister's confinement. Georgiana's last letter was on his mind; she sounded troubled and deeply unhappy, and she had implored him to come to Greystone.

In the last two weeks, he had met Elizabeth several times in company, but only once alone. Most of the time, she was helping her sister with the parish duties, and supporting Anne during this difficult time.

He had written an elaborate proposal, and imagined her beautiful and amazed face as he recited it to her. His Elizabeth was a very intelligent woman, and, due to the difference in their stations in life, she would appreciate his frankness and the material things he was willing to put aside to marry her.

At last, an excellent opportunity arose. At this time, every week, Mr. and Mrs. Collins arrived at Rosings to discuss with Lady Catherine and Richard the latest parish news. On his way to the parsonage, he practiced the proposal and everything he wanted to tell her.

As she expected, Lizzy woke up in the morning with her courses. On days such as this, she preferred to stay at home. Her sister understood her perfectly and departed for Rosings Park with only her husband.

She was in the parlor writing a letter to her father, requesting his permission to stay until Anne's wedding, when Mr. Darcy arrived.

"Good morning, Miss Bennet, Mrs. Collins told me you are not feeling well. I came to inquire about your health."

"Good morning, Mr. Darcy, thank you for asking. Not to worry, it is only a slight indisposition," she smiled at him, "Would you like to sit?"

Darcy was very nervous. He tried to speak several times, but he couldn't find the correct words. Lizzy was watching him at first with curiosity and then worry, for it was clear something was off. Several seconds later, she asked him, "Mr. Darcy, are you well?"

At last, Darcy spoke, "Miss Bennet, Elizabeth. You must know of my feelings." Darcy paused for a few seconds trying to remember the things he wanted to tell her. "You are a very intelligent woman, and honestly, I tried very hard to resist your charms. My situation in life, even after Georgiana's indiscretion, is so far above yours that a marriage between us can only be a degradation to myself. I know your dowry is very small and you don't have useful connections. Essentially, you don't have anything but yourself to tempt a man. Despite all the inconvenience and the knowledge that, in a practical sense, I am making an imprudent match, I love you, and I want you to be my wife."

Lizzy was pale and furious. Mr. Darcy, the man she considered a friend and secretly admired, was proposing to her – and in such an awful manner! She had been raised the child of a dysfunctional marriage house, and she had observed over the years, the damage of marrying in haste. She couldn't take this risk, because even though Mr. Darcy loved her, he didn't respect her.

"Mr. Darcy, please desist. I can't accept a man who thinks I am an inconvenience and thinks marrying me is a degradation...Please, leave me alone." She ran to her room weeping, leaving an astonished Darcy alone.

Darcy returned to Rosings before dinner, furiously thinking of all the ways that Elizabeth was unworthy of him. He had offered her a life of luxury beyond her imagination, he had been willing to forget about her low origin and lack of dowry, and, despite all the benefits she would receive in the marriage, she had rejected his hand! He had thought that she cared for him, but obviously, he was wrong.

He didn't want to have dinner with his family; he wanted to be alone. Unfortunately, during his absence, an urgent note from Wickham had arrived.

18th March 1812

Greystone, Scotland

Darcy,

Yesterday, Georgiana had an accident. The doctor is very worried about her health and our child. Georgiana wants to see you.

Please, I beg you, for Georgina's sake, come to Greystone as soon as possible.

Wickham.

At first, he was numb He knew the risks of childbirth, and Georgiana had never been a robust lady; he had to go to Greystone, there wasn't time to waste.

He shared Wickham's note with his family and the reactions were as he expected: Anne was sad about the news, but she didn't know Georgiana very well; Lady Catherine was indifferent, and didn't care about "that immoral woman", as she always called her; Richard was the most affected. Like Darcy, he was very disappointed with Georgiana, but still, he loved her like a sister. Unfortunately, Richard couldn't join him on this trip, because there wasn't enough time to go to Scotland and return before the wedding.

Darcy couldn't sleep at all that night, with images of his dead mother, Georgiana as a child, and Elizabeth's pale face during his proposal plaguing his mind. As he usually did when he had insomnia, he wrote in his journal. He wrote about Georgiana, and his feelings of rejection and love for a woman who wouldn't have him.

At dawn, he started the long journey to Scotland, but, in the rush, he forgot his journal, with its notes of his personal feelings and the list of everything necessary to be found in his ideal wife.