MF Weasly: Alright.
MF Weasly: Fess up man
MF Weasly: Why are you and Ijin so fucking awkward?
Krillin But With More Hair: Oh thank god.
Krillin But With More Hair: I thought it was just me.
Robin Reject: No, I've been meaning to ask as well.
Robin Reject: Did something happen?
Krillin But With More Hair: Yeah what happened?
Blond Bitch: Well, remember when we had that sleepover?
Krillin But With More Hair: Yeah
MF Weasly: We all do, just get to the point.
Blond Bitch: When I was asking him if he was okay. He asked me what I thought about murderers.
Blond Bitch: And I think I said the wrong thing.
Krillin But With More Hair: Well what did you say?
MF Weasly: What did you say?
Robin Reject: You didn't forget how he grew up right?
Robin Reject: We all know that he's had to kill people to survive.
Robin Reject: So what exactly did you say?
Blond Bitch: Of course I didn't forget how he grew up!
MF Weasly: What did you say dipshit!?
Blond Bitch: I said that murderers were unforgivable and basically an eye for an eye.
Blond Bitch: That self-defense was one thing, but it was unforgivable to actively find someone to kill.
Blond Bitch: And unless Ijin went around hunting down people to kill them, I don't think I said the wrong thing.
MF Weasly: Well you obviously said SOMETHING wrong!
Blond Bitch: Well excuse me for having faith in my friend that he only killed people in self-defense!
Blond Bitch: Do you guys really think Ijin hunted people down like some fucking serial killer?!
Robin Reject: About that…
Blond Bitch: About what?
MF Weasly: Seokju type faster ffs
Krillin But With More Hair: Yeah you cant just say something like that!
Robin Reject: First off, he gave me permission to tell you guys.
Robin Reject: But you guys know how me and him got taken along with yeonas cousin to the region where Ijin used to live?
MF Weasly: Yeah?
Robin Reject: We didn't tell you the entire truth.
Robin Reject: Ijin was the one who lead us back to his former village and got into contact with the major.
Robin Reject: Ijin used to be a mercenary. He contacted one of his old clients, found out where we were, got us out, and then lead us back to his old village.
Robin Reject: He used to be called Mercenary Jin. One of my teammates told us how Ijin was one of the best mercenaries in the world. He never took any hit jobs and was picky with who he would work with. But apparently, if you needed an escort, or a protection detail, Ijin was the one everyone wanted.
Robin Reject: He never hunted anyone down like you said Hyeokjin.
Robin Reject: But he has killed a lot of people both in self-defense and to protect his clients.
Robin Reject: Come on guys.
Robin Reject: This doesn't change anything about Ijin.
Robin Reject: He didn't lie to us. He told us that he did what he had to do to survive.
MF Weasly: Yeah but he didn't tell us the entire truth either
MF Weasly: That's lying by omission Seokju.
Krillin But With More Hair: How would you tell the first people you befreiended ever that you used to be a mercenary?! How would you even go about that?
Blond Bitch: Its not like he can just casually bring it up in a conversation like it's the fucking weather.
Robin Reject: Yeongchan is right, there is no way to easily bring up that topic.
Robin Reject: If its hard for us, who grew up a normal childhood, to even think about trying to bring up that topic. Imagine how hard it is for Ijin. We all know that we are his first friends.
Robin Reject: Major Kang even thanked us because we helped him start acting like a normal teenager.
Robin Reject: Yes Ijin didn't tell us the complete truth.
Robin Reject: But we have known him for less than a year. And I don't know about you guys. If I used to be a mercenary, I wouldn't tell you guys either.
Robin Reject: Ijin clearly isn't proud of it.
MF Weasly: Hyeokjin where the fuck are you? you started this!
.
He shoved his pphone into his pocket before knocking on the door, hoping with every fiber of his being that the door was going to open.
It was late as shit, but Ijin had always been something of a night owl anyway.
He was stewing his own anxiety too much to realize that the door was opening, only coming out of his stupor to realize that the very person he wanted to talk to was standing in the doorway, clearly wondering what the hell he was doing there.
"I need to talk with you," he blurted out suddenly, and when Ijin started to frown, he tried to rephrase it," I mean-Can I-Can we-…Can we talk?"
Ijin was staring at him by the time he stop stumbling over his own words, but after a few seconds of them staring at each other for a few seconds like a pair of idiots. Ijin gave him the smallest of nods, quietly turning around to put on his shoes before motioning for Hyeokjin to take the lead.
The entire time he was walking them outside for some privacy, his stomach twisting and turning as his mind raced a thousand miles a minute.
This was a terrible idea.
He should have known that the damn near sprint to Ijins place wouldn't have been long enough to put together a decent apology.
But at the same time, he wanted to apologize as fast as possible when he found out that Ijin used to be a mercenary. He wanted to repair their friendship and fix his fuck up.
As soon as they got to the little park that was next to Ijins apartment building, he blurted out," Im sorry!" his heart was thudding loudly against his ribcage, and it only beat faster when he saw the confused look of his friend," For what I said back at the sleepover. When you asked me what I thought about murderers. I didn't realize that you used to be a mercenary and that you had to do all types of things if you wanted to survive. Im sorry I said something as stupid as that and-"
"Hyeokjin." Ijin cut into his rambling with a firm voice, and just for a split second, his stomach churned painfully as he waited for the eventual rejection," Its okay."
It was?
"You were right."
Oh it was not okay.
"Its not okay," Hyeokjin quickly said," I wasn't right! Like you said, you did what you had to do to survive and I shouldn't have said anything in the first place!"
Ijin was staring at him, his mouth slightly hanging open.
For the first time since they met, Ijin averted his eyes, and looked down at the ground as if he was ashamed of himself.
"I wasn't talking about my days as a mercenary when I asked you."
Um.
What?
Ijin started to mess with the hem of his shirt, seemingly doing everything just to not look at him," A few months after the accident. I was picked up by this…organization of sorts," Hyeokjin found himself nodding along with Ijins words before he realized it," they started training me to be one of their soldiers. There were a few kids around my age but…"
Oh shit.
Ijin was actually opening up.
Ijin shuttered," It didn't take long for my handlers to kick them out. We weren't allowed to make friendships with each other either. My handlers thought it was pointless. They used to punish us if they thought we had made friends."
What…
What the fuck?
Wait what the fuck?!
Hyeokjin was openly staring at Ijin in pure horror. Ijin, who had yet to notice his stare, continued.
"I was about 12? When they made us fight each other to determine our ranks. At first, I didn't want to fight but…some of the older kids wanted to fight and before I knew it, I was fighting the people I trained with."
Holy shit…
Holy shit…
"our handlers were watching, they were ranking us by who lasted the longest. When I was the last one standing, I had to fight my handler."
While he was a stupid 12 year old fucking around with Jaehyung.
Ijin was almost fighting to the death, fighting everyone he knew just to survive.
"From that point on, we were assigned our ranks and were given missions. The training got harder, the punishments were harsher if we failed our missions. The first time I was assigned to kill someone, my handlers beat me halfway to death after I refused."
He could feel bile at the back of his throat. His stomach reacting violently to the words he was hearing.
"After that, until I was about 15, I completed each and every single mission they gave me. Hyeokjin. You said the people who hunted others down to kill them were unforgivable. You were right." Ijin finally looked up at him, a strained look on his face as he finally said," They are unforgivable. Theres nothing I can do to bring back all of the innocents that I killed."
Hyeokjin stared at him, his brain struggling to process just what the fuck he just heard.
He had to stare at Ijin for about 30 seconds before his brain finally caught up, finally processing the fact that Ijin had been forced into killing people when he was still a pre-teen.
"That's…that's not the same thing Ijin…"
"I hunted down people Hyeokjin. It's the same thing."
"No!" Ijin jumped at the volume of his voice," Its not the same thing! Ijin! You were 12! They beat the shit out of you when said that you weren't going to kill anyone! God its not the same thing Ijin!" he grabbed Ijin by his collar and wrenched him closer," they forced you to follow their orders Ijin! You didn't follow their orders because you wanted to. You had to if you wanted to survive!"
While Hyeokjin could feel the anger burning in him. He could see the pure and utter shame burning deep in Ijin. As if his friend really believed that he had completed those missions willingly.
But he just knew that Ijin hadn't completed those missions willingly.
His options were complete the missions, or be beat halfway to death. Any sane person would pick the logical choice and complete the missions!
So why didn't Ijin realize that?!
"Say what you want Hyeokjin," Ijin said quietly, his hands going up to hold onto his friends hands," At the end of the day. I killed those people. I followed the orders and killed who I was told to kill."
Hyeokjin was so shocked, he just let Ijin pry his hands off his collar before taking a step back. He couldn't stop staring at him.
"Then…what happened when you were 15. What changed?"
Ijin started messing with his sleeve again," I started to think for myself. Make my own decisions. After a while, they were ordered to kill me. I faked my death and started to work as a mercenary."
Wait what?
Ijin said that way too casually.
His employer ordered him to be killed, so he faked his death and started working as a mercenary?
"…Are you okay…?"
Hyeokjin let out a bitter laugh," Am I okay? I should be asking you that man!" he started to run his hands through his hair, messing up his hair as he tried to come to terms with what Ijin just told him," God. Ijin you became a child soldier when you were nine! They beat the shit out of you when you didn't want to kill people! And then, they tried to kill you when you were fifteen?! And you think you did it willingly?!"
"I didn't do it willingly," Ijin immeditly snapped out, his voice raising for the first time ever as they argued," but it doesn't change what I did!"
"Well unless you hunted down those people for pleasure! It changes everything! Unless you hunted down those people to get revenge, or fun or-or because you were angry! It changes everything!"
Hyeokjin was left panting by the end of his statement, his hair falling into his red face, his shoulders moving up and down as Ijin stared at him.
It was completely silent, the wind ruslting the leaves of the nearby trees, Ijin staring at him as they both process what the hell just happened.
Finally, after about ten seconds of silence, there was the quietest," oh…"
Hyeokjin wanted to smack him over the head.
"Yes. Oh." He sighed in exhasperation, his fingers rubbing his forehead as he continued," Ijin…I was talking about serial killers when you asked. About the people who murder because of their emotions…not…not…not teenagers who were forced to kill people…"
"…Sorry…"
"Don't apologize," Hyeokjin groaned out, glancing up at Ijin before looking away again," I was the one who fucked up. I should have thought about it more before answering. Its my fault."
Ijin hummed, scratching the back of his neck as they stood together in an akward silence.
"…So…are we good…?"
Ijin looked at him with a slight tilt to his head, a look of confusion on his face,"…you don't mind…?"
"Don't mind what?"
"The fact that Ive killed people…a lot of people…"
"No," Hyeokjin said firmly," Like you said. You did what you had to do to survive. Besides," He muttered out bitterly," You were just a kid. And I know you. I know you wouldn't have done that if you were able to avoid it."
"Oh…" Ijin repeated quietly," I…I didn't think you would react like this."
Hyeokjin almost glared at him, making his friend lean away just the tiniest bit," What? Did you think I was going to freak out and stop being your friend or something?"
Ijin shrugged a shoulder," I don't know. I didn't think we would still be friends."
He had to admit.
That comment kinda pissed him off.
He punched Ijins arm with a little more force than necessary," I'm not a asshole you jerk. It would be a different story if you liked killing people or something but…I know you. sometimes its like im trying to talk to a rock, but I know you're not like that."
"Thanks," again, Ijins voice was quiet as if he was some sort of timid child," for believing in me."
Hyeokjin waved off his thanks," Don't worry about it. But yes, I don't mind that we're still friends. I wouldn't be here apologizing if I did."
"So…we're good?"
"Yes," Hyeokjing graoned out, feeling a little bit exhasperated," We're fine man. Im fine as long as youre fine."
"Im fine."
"Then we're fine."
They both stood in silece again, though thankfully, it was no longer awkward. There was a light bubbly feeling in both of their chest as the relief of clearing up everything helped them relax.
"Its late," Ijin said suddenly, looking down at his phone as he did so," the trains are going to close soon."
"Its fine. I came by foot."
"Ah. Ok."
"Yeah."
Shit.
It was awkward again.
He coughed into his hand, mental and physical exhaustion hitting him now that everything had been sorted out," Im going to head home. See you tomorrow in school?"
Ijin nodded, a small smile on his face as he quietly returned," See you tomorrow."
Without further delay, Hyeokjin said his goodbyes before taking off for hmome.
That certainly had to be one of the hardest conversations he has ever had. The mental and emotional shock at hearing Ijin explain his past. Along with the emotion distress of hoping that he was going to be able to explain to Ijin properly what he meant by his statement that night.
He was exhausted.
But it was oh so worth it.
Now to process what Ijin told him for a few hours.
Because what. The. Fuck.