CW: Implied child abuse which leads to trauma

"So, if Grimmauld Place is in London, surely they wouldn't have taken him far," said James, laying a map of the United Kingdom down on his bed.

"But they probably apparated," I said.

"Well, they have to have gone somewhere quiet, for example, they wouldn't go into the city," said James.

"And they wouldn't have gone somewhere muggles usually go, they hate muggles," I said.

"The only places I can think where muggles never go is Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade, but they'd both be crowded with witches and wizards, especially since it's around Christmas," said James.

"But it is the middle of the night," I said.

"But they've been there all day," said James.

And then it hit me like a bus. "Knockturn Alley."

"Knockwhat?" James asked, puzzled.

"Knockturn Alley," I said. "When I saw Sirius yesterday he said he had to go through Knockturn Alley so his parents thought he was going there. It must be near Diagon Alley since he was able to walk from there to Flourish and Blotts. And… and if he wanted his parents to think he was going there, then they must go there often. He must be there!"

"I mean, it all fits together…" said James. "Should we just say Knockturn Alley in the fireplace and see if it works?"

"Yeah," I said, as James grabbed the invisibility cloak and the two of us ran downstairs quietly, into the silent living room. It was quarter past eleven at night, so all the adults were asleep and it would be easy to sneak out.

"I'll go first," said James, stepping into the fireplace and grabbing a pinch of Floo Powder. "Knockturn Alley."

The flame engulfed him, then he was gone, and I stepped into the fireplace after him with a pinch of Floo Powder. "Knockturn Alley."

I came out in the dark. Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I realised I was in a shop, only instead of normal products on the shelf, there were skulls and suspicious-looking potions.

"James?" I whispered, and I felt something thrown over me, and then I could see him. We were under the cloak.

James and I searched the entire shop, but there was no sign of Sirius, so we both left the shop and walked out into the street.

We passed a grandfather clock, and then I saw the full moon and froze.

"James… what's the date?" I asked.

"20th of December," said James, pausing when he saw the full moon. "If it was a full moon you would have transformed already, right?"

"It's not meant to be until the 29th…" I said, "And yeah, I would've changed by now, it… it must be a boggart."

"OK," said James, letting out a breath of relief, "OK, let's keep going."

We continued walking for almost an hour before we found Sirius. He was lying on the floor in an alleyway between two shops, shivering in the freezing December air.

James and I ran toward him and both knelt next to him.

"Sirius?" James whispered.

I placed my hand on Sirius's hand. "He's freezing."

"Sirius, can you hear me? It's James. James Potter."

I moved my hand to his wrist and almost cried from relief when I felt Sirius's pulse beating.

"Come on, let's take him back," I said, trembling. James nodded, and we threw the cloak over Sirius and carried him together back to the shop we'd arrived in.

Once we were back at the Potters' house, James and I laid Sirius down by the fireplace, and James went to the bathroom to run him a warm bath.

I placed Sirius's unconscious head on my lap, biting down on the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying.

A few minutes later, while James was still in the bathroom, Sirius's eyes opened and he looked up at me without moving his head.

"Hey," I said.

"Who… what…"

"It's me, Remus. Moony."

"Moony…" Sirius murmured. "Where?"

"We're at James's house," I replied, trying to keep my tone calm.

"Where's James?"

"He's in the bathroom running you a warm bath. I can get him for you if you want…"

"No, it's OK," said Sirius, sucking in the warm air and closing his eyes again. "I'm so sorry, Moony. For being dramatic and… and oh, god… yeah I'm sorry you guys are always helping me get away from my parents, and thank you, I…"

"Sirius," I said. "You have nothing to be sorry about."

"Yeah, I know…" And then he was sobbing, and I felt awful because I didn't know what to do. Sirius sat up and wrapped his arms around me, sobbing uncontrollably and constantly apologising.

"It's OK, it's OK," I said, running my fingers through his hair, not really knowing what else to do.

"I'm… so… sorry… Moony," Sirius sobbed.

"Don't be sorry," I said, holding on to him as firmly as I could, but I knew it wasn't enough. I'd seen him cry before, but I'd never seen Sirius sob like this. Obviously, something really, really bad had happened.

James came back then and helped Sirius stand, and the two of us supported him to the bathroom.

"Call out if you need anything," said James, placing a new towel and some pyjamas for Sirius on the sink, and, wiping his eyes, Sirius nodded, and James and I left.

"Holy shit," I said.

"I could hear him crying from the bathroom…" said James, taking off his glasses and wiping his own eyes, then grabbing the school photo album. "I'm surprised the adults haven't noticed yet."

"Yeah…" I said. In our silence, I could hear Sirius sobbing again.

"Hey, when he comes out, let me do the talking, yeah?" James asked. "I get he's your boyfriend…"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Yeah, sure, but just let me do the talking."

"OK," I said.

It was past one in the morning by the time Sirius was out of the bath. Even if he hadn't been sobbing before, I would know he was upset just by looking at him. He hadn't so much as brushed his precious hair.

"Do you want to try and get some sleep, or would you rather hang out tonight?" James asked, his tone so calm that I was envious.

"I… I don't mind," said Sirius.

"That's OK," said James, sitting down on the sofa. Sirius sat next to him, and I sat on the other side of Sirius.

"I don't need… I don't need you guys to treat me like a baby," said Sirius. "I'm sorry for being all dramatic and crying and…"

"Sirius," said James. "You're not being dramatic, and we're not going to treat you like a baby. I think the best idea would be for you to try and get some sleep, and then we'll see where we end up from there?"

"Yeah, OK," said Sirius, and we led him upstairs and to yet another free guest room.

"You know where my room is, and Remus is in his usual room, so you can come and get us if you need us," said James, and Sirius nodded. "OK… goodnight?"

"Goodnight," said Sirius, nodding and closing the door.

I barely slept that night (or morning if you're technical). I couldn't stop thinking about Sirius. Sirius, shivering in the cold at Knockturn Alley. Sirius, unconscious on my lap. Sirius, sobbing into my arms. Sirius, not even brushing his pride and joy, his hair.

When I got out of bed later, I felt almost as tired as I felt after a full moon. I walked downstairs to see only James and my dad were awake, my dad drinking coffee and reading the Daily Prophet, and James eating cereal silently and looking at the school photos album. He looked like he hadn't slept either.

"Dad, did James tell you Sirius is here?" I asked.

"What? Sirius? Your friend Sirius?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, alright then, probably be best to tell Effie or Monty," my dad said, taking a sip of his coffee, and I nodded.

"He's not up yet?" I asked, sitting next to James, who shook his head.

James's parents and my mum were up soon, and James explained to them what happened last night.

"Oh, poor love, I'll whip him up a nice breakfast," said Euphemia.

Sirius came out around twenty minutes later, and the moment he got to the bottom of the stairs he received a tight hug from Euphemia, and she placed a plate of pancakes on the table for him.

"I… thank you…" said Sirius, sitting down. There were dark rings under his eyes, and I could tell he hadn't slept either.

"Do you want me to grab anything else for you?" Euphemia offered.

"No, it's OK, thank you," said Sirius, smiling at her and looking at the pancakes in front of him.

"We'll give you some boys some time alone, but if you need us call out, yeah?" said Fleamont, and James nodded, then they all left to the living room.

"Sleep well?" James asked.

"Oh… yeah, good," said Sirius. All three of us knew that was a lie, but we didn't press it.

The days leading up to Christmas were strange. There were nights when Sirius would wake up screaming, and everyone else staying in the house would flood in and he'd be sobbing and apologising. But the problem was we didn't know what had happened to cause this big of a reaction, but none of us wanted to ask, either.

Sirius spent a lot of his time sitting in his room, but he also spent a lot of time talking to James and I about random things like Quidditch or our Transfiguration essay that was due the day we got back to school.

"Honestly, it's meant to be Christmas break," said Sirius. The problem was he looked so tired and spoke so emotionless when he had these conversations with us, but James and I still said nothing, just going along with whatever he wanted to do.

"That's why she gave us a week before the break to do it," I said, "the break is just for stupid people who didn't do it in that time."

"Are you calling us stupid, Remus?" James snorted, grabbing the school photos album.

"Yes, I am," I said.

"Yeah, I suppose we should do it…" said Sirius.

By Christmas day, Sirius was at least acting normal. When Euphemia and Fleamont gave him ten galleons, and as they apologised for not getting him an actual gift, it hit me like a flash.

The money. The two thousand galleons. Sirius had taken that from his parent's vault. How would they not find out? And if they had found out, then…

"It's OK, really," said Sirius as I came back into reality, but all I thought of was that it was my fault. Whatever he'd been through the other night in Knockturn Alley. It was all my fault.