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Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, otherwise the NejiTen would be canon.
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Enjoy.
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Chapter 17.
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She pressed the button to activate the car's parking lights before stopping by the curb, thankful that even though it was winter it wasn't snowing that day, although the temperature was quite low and just for that reason she hadn't yet removed the locks to open the doors.
"I'll see you the day after tomorrow night," said Gaara after brushing her lips by way of farewell.
"Have a good trip," she mused removing the locks and smiled as she watched him get off, seeing that now he opened the back door and leaned towards Yumiko.
"Will you be good?"
"Don't go, daddy," she bit her lip without him noticing it, it was still strange that her daughter said that way to the red-haired.
"I'll only be 2 days away, I'll bring you something," he kissed Yumiko on the crown of her head, "I love you both," he said goodbye again, taking the suitcase that was on the floor behind the co-driver's chair and turned around, approaching her window. So she lowered the glass and restrained her urge to shiver in the icy wind.
"I'll miss you," she admitted after another kiss.
"And I'll miss you," she smiled to avoid looking sad, "I'll let you know when I arrive," it was the goodbye now, Gaara separated and crossed towards the train station.
She waited a bit until she saw him enter, rolling up the windows before turning off the stationary lights and rejoining the normal traffic, now on her way to the pediatrician's appointment and later to drop her daughter off at the kindergarten. In the back Yumiko hummed from her special chair to the tune playing on the radio.
She always liked to hear the pediatrician tell her that her daughter was a healthy child and that she was level with children her age, in fact since her baby had turned 2 years old, she could already see her in the right percentile for her real age and not for the corrected age. She left the doctor's office to return to the car and go to the kindergarten where her little girl was studying.
When she was alone in the car, she thought of Gaara, of their relationship so far. The week before they had celebrated his 27th birthday, so 2 years ago it had been that afternoon when he had tried to kiss her, and it was almost 2 years since they had started their relationship. She smiled to herself, a relationship that was going very well.
They had barely been dating for a few weeks when he had introduced her to his family. Rasa, her father-in-law, had welcomed them with joy, showing his happiness that among all the possible women Gaara had chosen one who was also Japanese, although she never made it clear that she was almost an exile.
The man had also fiddled with Yumiko during the afternoon, saying that it was important for the little girl to learn Japanese because in the future they could all go on a trip to their native country. Afterwards he had been complaining because neither Temari nor Kankuro had given him any grandchildren so far, to which the red-haired's siblings had rolled their eyes.
That hadn't been a good first step with her family-in-law, with the exception of their father, her boyfriend's siblings she still saw as somewhat reluctant to interact much with her daughter. Not that she said they treated them badly, they always took them into account at family gatherings and on more than one occasion she had gone shopping with her sister-in-law.
The one she definitely saw as a bit apathetic was Kankuro, and it didn't help her relationship with her brother-in-law that Yumiko called Gaara daddy. And it was all due to the fact that the redhead had entered their lives just as her daughter was learning to speak. She had corrected her the first time she had said that way to the redhead, but he had just smiled and said he had no problem with her calling him that.
And so it had stayed that way, which sometimes gave her a strange feeling, but at the same time she liked to see both of them had become so close. Seeing how Gaara and Yumiko got along reminded her of the relationship she herself had had with her own father, she had never seen her boyfriend look down on her little girl, he always made plans that included both of them.
She parked at the College and headed to the classroom, she was a little late for her first class of the day, but she had warned the teacher the class before about it. As she was about to leave she felt her phone vibrate, checking it slyly to see that it was a message from Gaara telling her that he had already arrived at work.
Her next class was the Narrative seminar, it was the third subject in the 8 terms that she had been in her career that was taught by Kankuro. As she waited in the hall for the man to arrive, she answered her boyfriend, putting the phone away as soon as her brother-in-law walked in. Those dark eyes rarely looked at her with appreciation, but the anger in his expression had grown since early January when Gaara had accepted a better job offer and no longer worked for the College. She hadn't been involved in his decision, she had only told her boyfriend that she would support him in his choice and the redhead after thinking about it for a few days said he would accept.
It was an important company with presence all over the province, which would mean that every now and then her boyfriend would have to travel for a couple of days to visit the other headquarters, it was the only negative point, but the salary would be double the one he had at the College and he had a better future regarding being able to grow within the company, because after the years he had been in the place he said he felt somewhat stagnant.
So this was his second trip, in the previous one he had barely been 1 night out, in this one it was going to be 2 and had opted to take the train for convenience. According to him this way he wouldn't be stressed by the traffic in and out of Toronto, and once in the city he was being sent to he would hardly leave the office, so riding in his own car wasn't necessary.
For her part she kept her job in the library, admitting that she understood Kankuro about not liking that Gaara no longer worked there, she also needed to go every now and then to the systems area with the excuse that the software wasn't working and spend the afternoon next to her boyfriend. Leaving then to the apartment where they officially didn't live together, but the redhead spent almost every night there.
She adjusted her coat before returning to her car, it was time to pick up her daughter and head back to her apartment. She had moved to the third floor of the same house where she had lived since she had come to live in Canada, the difference was that the place had 2 bedrooms so in her daughter's room she had made a beautiful mural. The part for the living and dining room was also much more spacious, reminding her slightly of her own apartment in the other country that she no longer thought about except when talking to her father-in-law.
The place was somewhat tight considering that Gaara practically lived with them, but for the moment she didn't find it necessary to get something else, if everything went well by the end of August she was going to finish her degree and already when she was working full time she would look for another apartment, she could probably talk to her boyfriend to choose something between the two of them.
She smiled to herself, she liked the sound of that.
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For their second anniversary Gaara invited her to lunch at a beautiful restaurant on the outskirts of the city, she had sent to make a set of scarf, hat and gloves embroidered in his favorite color, she would like to have made him something personalized, but she didn't have much free time and almost living together it was difficult to hide it. The person told her that she had had a mishap and would deliver it a few days later, so she had already excused herself that her gift was late.
When they left the restaurant they went to a lake down the road, they had left their skates at home but that didn't stop them from sliding on the ice for a while in their winter shoes. It was a pity that Yumiko hadn't accompanied them, but obviously this was a small celebration of them as a couple and then they would continue with their family plans.
Before the sun began to go down, they made their way to the car, it was cold and they didn't want to get hypothermia. She was going ahead when she felt Gaara tugging on her hand, so she stopped and turned around, now frozen by the image in front of her.
"Tenten," the redhead was kneeling on the hard ice, holding a small box among which was a ring, "I don't know if it's hasty, but I know I've thought about it a lot..." she felt her breath quicken, "I love you, I want us to be a family and to spend the rest of my life with you... will you marry me?"
"Why?" was her answer to the words he chose to make the proposal, he looked disgruntled.
"Because I love you," he clarified, "I'm sure I want to build a family with you, that we grow old together..."
"A family," she murmured to herself, "are you talking about children?" she needed to know if that's what he meant.
"Maybe, not now, clearly," Gaara stood up when he saw that she had taken a step back, "Tenten..." she felt like she was going to hyperventilate, "we can talk about it later, in a couple of years when Yumiko is older."
"You want to have children," she said feeling that it was impossible for her to breathe, at the same time that a tear slipped down her cheek, "I'm sorry."
She had run, first to the car and then she had gone several yards from there, they were in the middle of nowhere and not having thought the exit would end that way she didn't have her own vehicle. She sat on the ground slightly hidden by a tree and wept bitterly. She loved Gaara, she was sure about it, but only at that moment she remembered the words she had been told in the hospital when Yumiko had been born. Those words she had given no importance to because she considered them irrelevant at the time, but now they echoed in her head over and over again. It was something she had never told anyone.
She didn't know how long she cried, only that the sun was now setting and she was shivering. She stood up and looked on her phone for the option to call a cab or something that could take her to her apartment, noticing then that Gaara was still there, sitting on the hood of the car looking at nothing.
"I wasn't going to leave you here," he said without seeing her and she hesitated for a moment, "let's go, it's late."
She ducked her head before getting into the car, the atmosphere between them felt heavy and uncomfortable and it wasn't for less. The redhead didn't say anything, she also didn't want to talk about whatever just to break the silence, it was a marriage proposal that had just happened and ended catastrophically.
"Gaara, I..." she started when he parked in front of her apartment, "I didn't say no, it's just that..."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not," it didn't seem like the moment for him to play his usual role of looking impassive, "it's not fine at all, but... it's just that I can't accept."
"Are you married?" she knew that his insinuation was towards Yumiko's father.
"No, I would never hide something like that from you... but I have hidden something from you and it's the reason why I can't marry you," she took a deep breath, "it's 2 things to be more specific."
"I thought you trusted me."
"I do, I do," she reached out her hand to rest it on his arm, but she pulled it away all at once, "and I really do love you, but..." now it was her phone that interrupted her. It was Sakura, who was being Yumiko's babysitter, so she wrote her a message to confirm that she had already arrived but that she would come up in a few minutes, "do you remember what I told you about the man with whom I conceived Yumiko?"
"That he wasn't ready to be a father?"
"Yes, about that... the truth is that he doesn't even know he has a daughter, it's a little complicated, but... I never told him I was pregnant, I'm not going to do it either."
She bit her lip, even though every now and then she woke up scared when she had the nightmare of what had happened some time ago, and that Gaara sometimes calmed her down, the reality is that she had never told him or anyone what had happened. She wasn't able to say it out loud, and at that moment she didn't feel ready to do it.
"His family asked me not to tell him, he... he's a few months younger than me and..." she felt bad to tell him something that wasn't the complete truth, "well, his family pays me to never tell him about Yumiko or ask him for anything."
"What?"
"It's complicated, it's a very wealthy and important family and... well, they didn't want my daughter to be part of their family, that's why I came to live here," she looked in her purse, casually she had there that month's check that she was going to deposit the next day, so she showed it to him, "every month they send me money, at the beginning it was my only way to survive, but I have been saving what I earn at the library so as soon as I graduate and I can work full time I will stop cashing them, I have never wanted anything from them... that's the first thing I have hidden from you."
"What's the second thing?"
"It's... it has to do with what you said about building a family..."
"I don't think that what you just told me is really a problem, although I admit that I don't like that you have hidden it from me," he was serious, "I'm not telling you to stop studying and have a child right now, you know that I adore Yumiko... we can see it much later, maybe..."
"No," she clarified with pain, "we can't, Gaara, I..." she had to take a deep breath to be able to give herself impulse and continue speaking, "I can't have children anymore," she saw her turquoise eyes open completely, "the doctor told me when Yumiko was born, there was a complication in the C-section, I never understood many of the medical things, but... at that moment I didn't care and I didn't ask anything else, I only cared that my baby was healthy, however now..."
"Tenten..."
"No, don't say it's okay," she asked, "you said you want to build a family, even if it's not right now, you want to have children in the future and... and unfortunately I'm not a woman who can give them to you," she wiped a tear, "it's not something you can take lightly, I can't be selfish and hide the truth from you either, if you want to have children you should look for a woman with whom you can have them."
"That..."
"I love you, I swear I love you... but I can't do this to you, I can't accept to marry you when I know I won't be able to make you happy," a hiccup escaped her, she had to leave, "now you know the truth about me, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before," she released the seat belt and opened the door, but before getting off she stretched to kiss his cheek, "if things were different, I would have told you yes," she whispered.
She didn't wait for him to say anything else, she got out of the vehicle and ran to the stairs. When she was looking for the keys to open the door she heard the car being started and how it drove away. So she just got in and collapsed by the door, again feeling her tears running uncontrollably down her cheeks.
Sakura had comforted her, trying to get her to stop crying because her daughter was disturbed to see her like that. She had wiped her cheeks then hugged Yumiko, looking for calm in her little girl, she had to remind herself that everything she did, she did it for her and her baby was her true priority.
Reading week had started, so she had grumbled in her mind, if it was a normal week she would have been able to entertain herself between her classes and her work to not think about the emptiness she felt in her chest. On the fact that her relationship was over, even if Gaara hadn't said it outright, but – what man could continue a relationship after a failed marriage proposal? She herself had told him to find another woman, but that didn't make it hurt any less.
On Monday night she had been tempted to talk to him, to greet him by text because she naively believed that if he hadn't officially broken up with her it meant that somehow they could find a way to salvage their relationship. By Tuesday in the absence of a response she had told herself no, it was obvious that they were no longer a couple and she had to follow through with letting him go, letting him go so he could be happy with a woman who would give him the family he wanted. On Wednesday she had let out a curse under her breath when she received the gift she had had made for Gaara for their anniversary, choosing only to leave it in the closet and forget it existed.
Thursday she kept checking her phone without knowing exactly what she was expecting, she had had no sign of life from the redhead, she understood what that meant, but the absence still hurt. Not even in her first months in Canada had she felt that way, back then she had clung to her unborn daughter, to put aside her fantasies and be strong to carry her pregnancy. Now she kept telling herself that she had to hold on to the same thing, her daughter.
"Mommy," they were sitting eating lunch, "where is daddy?"
"In..." he had to pass heavy saliva, "he's working, honey."
It was a good time to hate herself again for letting her daughter tell Gaara that way, but she had always seen him so happy for Yumiko to tell him so she didn't object. And now in addition to managing to cope with her own grief over their relationship, she had to add to her pending to explain to her daughter that the red-haired had never been her father and that he wouldn't return.
On Friday she had already finished all her pending from the College, so she had gone through her apartment before deciding to go out because she couldn't stand being locked up there, in her closet there was not only the gift she hadn't given him but also his clothes, in the cupboard she could see several foods that when they went to the supermarket together they bought for him, in the living room there was a picture of the three of them... she needed Monday to come soon so she could occupy her head with something else, she knew it was only a matter of time before it stopped hurting.
Sunday she was a little calmer, although the day before she had given into temptation again and this time she had called him, being sent straight to voicemail. What hurt her the most was that Gaara had simply decided to disappear, somehow she felt that if he had yelled at her or told her he hated her, he would have at least shown some feeling. Not that horrible, hateful silence.
After lunch Yumiko had yawned, so she had taken her to bed to take her nap, lying down beside her until she saw her fall asleep. It was just the two of them again, and she didn't see it as a challenge, after all that was her daughter and she knew she would always be willing to do whatever it took for her.
It was impossible for her to think of being with someone else again, of having a new relationship in the future. Much less if she took into account how fast everything had progressed with Gaara, because the same night they had had their first kiss, they had had sex, and the next day after that breakfast together they had agreed that their relationship had started precisely from the second she kissed him. Almost from the beginning he too had started staying in the apartment, sleeping together on the sofa bed until she had moved to the third-floor aparment. She had also met his family just a few weeks later. In retrospect it seemed rushed, but the reality was that it had always felt almost natural the way everything had been going.
Lying in bed next to her daughter did nothing to quell the thoughts in her head, so she got up to go to the kitchen, washing the few dirty dishes and then checking the fridge to decide what would be for snack and later dinner. She was just starting to chop a tomato when she heard some knocking on the door, when she opened it she froze to see him standing there because he had keys.
"Hello," it was Gaara who greeted first.
"Hello," she answered finally in a low voice, "come in," she stepped aside so he could pass, "I guess you..."
'Come for your things', she completed in her head, hence why he had knocked instead of entering as he normally did and why he hadn't kissed her when he greeted her either, but she hadn't been able to utter the whole sentence.
"I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, my phone died last week and..." he explained without finishing the sentence.
"It's okay," it was her turn to try to look calm, "I'm making Yumiko's snack, do you want coffee?"
"Yes, thanks," she nodded, returning to the kitchen. She focused her attention on filling the kettle and then putting it on the fire, "Tenten," she heard him calling her, though he sounded close, so she turned to see what was going on, "do you want to marry me?"
"What?" was her first reaction, unable to process that again she saw him kneeling in front of her with the small box showing the ring.
"I know what you are going to tell me, and I don't care," he pulled out the ring, "you are my family, you and Yumiko are... we already have a daughter."
"Are you for real?"
"You said you would tell me yes if things were different, I thought about it all week and I'm totally sure that I don't care what you said, I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Yes!" it was almost a scream as she bent down so she could kiss him. She was also sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.
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He didn't want to get up, that was a fact. He had woken up about half an hour ago, but he was very comfortable and hadn't the slightest intention of moving from that bed unless it was mandatory. In all that time he had devoted himself to seeing the brunette beside him, his fiancée, the woman who the previous evening had told him that she would marry him.
It was then that her alarm went off, to which he heard her mumble something reluctantly before she slapped her hand on the nightstand to silence the device for a moment, but it would go off again 10 minutes later. Tenten would always snooze the alarm 1 time, reaching for his arms to shelter in these until it would go off again. It was amazing how much he had missed waking up like that during the week he had been away.
"It's unfair, I want to have a real vacation," complained the brunette when the alarm went off again.
"We can do it next year, you will have already finished your studies and I will be able to ask for vacation in my new job," he proposed and she smiled, "it could also be our honeymoon.
"Honeymoon... I love the sound of that," he smiled too, "although I would like a spring wedding," now he raised an eyebrow and saw her blushing, "I'm not saying that the ceremony will be in a couple of months, nor..."
"We'll talk about the date in the evening, you'll be late for your classes," Tenten pouted, "I'll wake up Yumiko."
"Thank you."
That was the concept of being mandatory to get out of bed, that his fiancée would get up and he was going to try to wake up their daughter. Yumiko was a heavy sleeper, though once she got up, she became quite active and looked full of energy. Before entering the girl's bedroom he went to the kitchen, putting the kettle on the fire to make some breakfast ahead.
"Yumiko," he said shaking her slightly, "wake up, Yumiko," just like the mother, he heard her mumbling something before turning around, "Yumiko, it's time to get up."
"5 more minutes, daddy," he smiled sideways, he liked her to tell him that way.
"I'll eat your cereal if you're not ready in time for breakfast."
That accomplished the goal, that the miniature version of the brunette sat up in bed and yawned. Still sleepy and with her light eyes half-closed, he watched her go to the bathroom, so he made the bed and searched the drawers for the clothes for that day, leaving the garments on the bed. Tenten peeked out of the girl's room in time to take Yumiko to the shower, so he returned to the kitchen. From the cupboard he pulled out a bag of his favorite tea and brewed a very strong coffee for the brunette.
Since he had mentioned cereal, he left it in the dining table next to the milk, chopping up some strawberries and then left that plate with the rest as well, that would be Yumiko's breakfast. For Tenten and he made scrambled eggs with toast, in the whole process he had noticed that there were several missing in the cupboard, and since he had the day off he could go that afternoon to the supermarket.
His car had the special chair installed for Yumiko, so he offered to take them and pick them up, he had no plans for that day. So they all got into the vehicle, listening to the youngest humming from the back, the first stop being the kindergarten. At the College he kissed Tenten goodbye, he had already told her that besides going to the supermarket, he would go to buy a new phone and would let her know as soon as he got it.
Before leaving he had seen Kankuro, who was clearly upset that he had practically disappeared for a week. His brother had reproached him enough for his change of job, his relationship with Tenten and now his time out of communication. Of course his family had known that from his work a setback had arisen and he had had to travel unexpectedly, he had also stopped by with them first upon his return before going to find Tenten to re-propose to her. So Kankuro had told him that he had better drop by for lunch at the house that day, so his day off was now busy.
He had obviously been hurt that Tenten had turned down his marriage proposal, though he had been confused because it didn't make sense the way she had cried after refusing. He had also had a hard time processing the information she had given him, not about the money she was getting for some odd reason, that was irrelevant to him and he wasn't going to think about the man who didn't know was a father. What he couldn't believe at first was the part about the brunette not being able to have children.
That was a conversation they hadn't had, while they made future plans about traveling or moving in together after the brunette graduated, they hadn't talked about having a child. In fact since the condoms the first time had been chocolate flavored, he explained to Tenten that he hadn't bought them and it had been a sort of joke from his brother, but for them it became somewhat of a game every now and then to try new options. He didn't mind using them and had never asked Tenten directly if she was on birth control.
And while he was trying to process what had happened, he had received a call from work notifying him that he would have to travel early the next day. There was a problem that required his immediate presence and it was still uncertain how long he would have to be gone. Not being sure where his relationship with Tenten stood, he hadn't written to her, his father being the one who had driven him to the train station.
He had been immersed in his work all Monday, having to stay up all night. On Tuesday he had barely slept a couple of hours in the morning when he had to go back to work, before falling asleep he had seen the message from the brunette and told himself that he would answer her in the evening, although he didn't know exactly what to say to her. The problem was that in the wee hours of Wednesday when he finally finished his day he realized that his phone had completely died and wouldn't turn on. And his work kept him completely busy, preventing him from going shopping for a new cell phone.
But as much as his work kept him busy, a part of his mind was devoted only to thinking about Tenten. Turning over and over again the pain the chocolate orbs had shown when she confessed to him that she could no longer have children, when she told him that she couldn't be selfish and that he should look for a woman who could make him happy.
Was it so important for him to have a child of his own? Or biological, because regardless of Kankuro's words, he really loved Yumiko as if she was his daughter. He cared for her and looked out for her, making sense in his mind that the younger girl would call him father, because that's how he felt. That was why he had proposed marriage to Tenten initially, because he really saw himself with her in the future and considered that they were already a family.
And that was his conviction on Sunday when he finally returned to Toronto, the woman who made him happy was her. It was with Tenten that he wanted to spend the rest of his life.
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All corrections and comments are always well received, they help me improve a lot.
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Regards, Sally K.