It was late afternoon when Draco and I emerged into the Great Hall. It was nearly empty since most everyone had gone home for the break, but a handful of students were scattered around the spacious room. Anxiety was rolling off Draco in waves, and I nearly took his hand to calm him, but was fairly sure that'd only feed his anxiety, so I decidedly just headed for the Slytherin table.
We technically weren't allowed to take food out of the Hall, but I only touched two fingers to the table and two hot cups of cocoa appeared, and I took them. Draco was semi-frozen in shock as he watched me return to his side with them, and gestured with my chin toward the foyer. The snowstorm had died down considerably, and I figured hot drinks were more enjoyable in the cold. So I led us to the steps and perched on the top one, smiling out at the winter scenery. Eventually, Draco joined me.
"This is nice," I observed as he settled on the step below mine, spine entirely too stiff in my peripheral vision. An appreciative hum rumbled in my chest as I took a sip, the thick chocolate drink sliding down my throat and warming my stomach. The same stomach Draco had just thoroughly rearranged. Jesus, he's never fucked me like that. Oh shit. Surreptitiously, or so I hoped, I tugged at my scarf around my neck. I didn't even check to see if he'd bruised me. I'd wager he did, though.
The thought pleased me in a perverse sort of way, and I took another sip at the same time Draco did. Footsteps and laughter burst into the hallway behind us, and I noted the way he stiffened at the sound. We didn't turn and look, though, as the footsteps turned cautious and were paired with whispers. Two Ravenclaw girls stepped past us, nearly at the very far end of the staircase, and then descended, all the while casting us strange glances. I offered them a tight smile.
Once they were out of sight around the corner, I inched closer to Draco until my knee nearly touched his shoulder. "Alright?"
I must've interrupted his internal reverie, because he jumped at the sound of my voice. And then offered me an apologetic glance. "Y-yeah… Sorry, I was just… Y'know…"
I sighed. And glanced behind us. "Draco," I began softly. He eyed me over his shoulder, a childlike guilt in his expression. "Can I touch you?"
He turned his face away from me, but I didn't miss the pink that crept into the tips of his ears moments before he barely nodded. So I carefully touched my knee to his shoulder, hoping to share some courage and comfort, but really, I wanted to run my fingers through his hair again. Wanted to see that blissful expression on his face again. Kiss him until he forgot anyone but us existed.
"I'm a fucking coward." I nearly didn't hear him, as quietly as he spoke. "Only makes sense, I suppose, considering who my father is."
I frowned. "Have you already forgotten our conversation on the way to brunch? You should give yourself more credit."
Draco cleared his throat and sipped his cocoa, which was as good as if he'd just outright disagreed with me. And I rolled my eyes. It was more an instinct than a decision to reach out and rest my hand on his shoulder, stroking my thumb up and down the nape of his neck. I swear I saw his baby hairs stand on end, but I didn't withdraw my touch. His skin was too addictive.
"You sure you want this?"
My thumb paused as I considered. Of course he'd think dating him is a chore. Oh fuck, does he not believe that I love him? Shit, I need to find a way to convince him.
"Yeah, I reckon I do. Wouldn't be the hardest thing I've ever done. And holy hell, what a payoff." He cast me a sideways glance, and I grinned. An answering smile flashed across his face, and with a sigh, he rested his temple against my knee like he had in the Room. Okay, now I really wanted to run my fingers through his hair again.
"It's just… Like, maddening fucking cognitive dissonance. I… I want this, too. But."
His 'but' was a complete sentence, and I understood all too well what it meant. He doesn't feel like he deserves to be happy. Fucking idiot. I truly wasn't sure what I could do or say to get him to hate himself less, but love him more. So I resolved to do just that.
"One day at a time." I lifted my mug back to my lips and took another sip.
One day at a time indeed. With all the time in the world to ourselves, Harry and I lost ourselves in our own little world. Sure, there were still about two dozen students who'd stayed behind in the castle, but their strange glances and open stares hadn't once led to anything more, so little by little, I… Stopped caring. Even stole a few kisses in the halls a few times.
That being said, being happy was… Taking some getting used to. It was dreadfully slow going, but we had three whole weeks of bliss for me to try to adjust. Toward the end, though, more and more students started to gather back on the grounds, and I just grew more and more anxious as the bewildered faces multiplied. I'd started making good use of the Invisibility Cloak again, because a few less-than-friendly faces had reappeared in the halls, and I wasn't keen on that confrontation. At all.
By the first day of classes, though, the shoe dropped. I'd thought I'd found a secluded corner to try to shove the Cloak in my bag before heading into Potions, when I was discovered.
"Enjoy your break, traitor?" My blood ran cold as Hector Porven and his anti-Draco posse rounded the corner. And I hastily tried to shove the Cloak away, but my hands weren't cooperating. "What's that you have there?"
He tore it out of my grip, and I took a deep, steadying breath through my nose. "Give it back."
Hector wasn't listening, though, as he observed the Cloak he now held. "Holy shit, is this what I think it is?" He showed it to his friends, and just as I made a grab for it, he served his fist into my face. And I had leaned right into it.
I landed heavily on the stone, pain racketing through my head and knees. Shit.
"So this is how you've been avoiding us! Reckon that counts as cheating, Death Eater." I winced at the term, and even though my face was pounding as my knees were screaming, a nefarious itching crept into my left arm. "As it happens, I know exactly who this belongs to. We probably ought to return it to him, hm?"
As he turned, snickering with his sycophants down the hallway, panic surged through me. If he gives the Cloak back to Harry, he's gonna know Hector's been one of the perpetrators, and who knows what he might do! I can't let him get into trouble for my sake!
Ambling up off my aching knees with a groan, I stumbled after them. "Stop!"
Of course, they paid me no mind. "Oi, Potter! Found something of yours," I heard Hector call. And as I finally rounded the corner toward the Potions classroom, my lungs seized at what I saw. Hector had an audience as he casually addressed Harry, holding out the Cloak like he was expecting a fucking medal. It was then that Harry found me, leaning heavily against the wall and peering around the corner. And I tried to give him a subtle head shake. It was too late, though, as I saw the recognition flash in his eyes, which quickly gave way to white-hot rage.
Without a word, Harry snapped a hand out and ripped the Cloak out of Hector's grip. With the same motion, he tossed it back to me. Seemed his fury was beyond words, because just as he was starting towards Hector and the rest of them, my voice finally worked.
"Don't-!"
He froze. Anger roiled off of him in blistering hot waves as Hector exchanged glances with their audience, as if to say, 'I did nothing wrong, right?' How wrong he is. I couldn't have Harry taking the brunt of what should've been my punishment, but I had to admit, I felt a small amount of smug justice that he was so angry… On my behalf.
"Problem, Potter?"
With a tightening of Harry's fists, four loud SNAPs sounded in the quiet hallway, and my mouth dropped open. Silently, he turned his attention back to me and strolled right through the gathered audience to take my face in his hands. His eyes tightened in tandem with his jaw as he studied the damage I'd been dealt.
"What the fuck?" I glanced behind him to see Hector and his three lackeys withdrawing their wands - all four of which had been snapped clean in half.
"Come on," Harry demanded through grit teeth, and took my hand, leading me through the astounded attendees without another word. I managed a glance behind us at Harry's victim's faces - both awe-struck and contorted in rage as we hastened away.
Once we were a decent distance away, I swallowed. "W-where are we going?"
"The fucking circus." Bewildered, I said nothing as Harry huffed a sigh. "The hospital wing, obviously. I should've fucking broken their kneecaps, those assholes."
My long legs carried me easily along with him, but damn, he was walking fast. And my knees were screaming in protest. "H-Harry," I pleaded. Finally, he paused and glanced back at me. I couldn't help but buckle slightly at the knees, and he swore as he lunged to catch me.
"Shit, sorry. Are you alright?"
Glancing down at my shoes, I lifted one pant leg to reveal a stream of blood that'd reached my ankle. "Nothing I can't survive."
He swore again, pulling my arm over his shoulders and bracing me against his hip. The rest of our journey was slow, and classes had already begun, so we didn't encounter anyone as we made our way to Madame Pomfrey.
"Thanks," I eventually uttered. "They weren't exactly using their wands, though."
Harry snorted. "I've a sneaking suspicion they might encounter the same fate should they ever even touch a wand again, honestly."
My mind slowly, too slowly, caught up to what he'd said, and I felt my eyes go wide. "Did… Did you make them Squibs?"
He cast me a smug sideways smile, but said nothing. It was just then we arrived at the hospital wing, but I was struck silent with awe for the entire ordeal of getting patched up. When it was finally all done, Pomfrey sent us back to class, and Harry's anger seemed to have softened however slightly.
"I… Might've, possibly, ahm… O-overreacted… A bit," he finally conceded as we retraced our steps towards the Potions classroom. I couldn't not laugh.
"Not like you'll ever see anything even slightly resembling a consequence, though." He chuckled guiltily and scratched the back of his neck. "You… You took away their magic?"
He grimaced. "I just… Don't think anyone capable of cruelty has any right using it." A shrug, and I felt the blood rush out of my face.
"Jesus Christ, Harry. You're, like… Scary powerful, you know that?" I huffed an incredulous laugh as he grinned at me sheepishly. "Remind me, how exactly did you come back to life after taking the Killing Curse to the chest?"
"I… Chose to?" I shook my head and laced my fingers through his. "I don't… Scare you, do I?"
When I met his nervous gaze, I was suddenly struck with the reality of Harry. Eighteen-year-old would-be god. Teenage problems, celebrity status, emotionally-responsive wandless magic, death-defying abilities. But also hopelessly awkward. Savior of the world. Broken. Chosen One. A deeper level of awe than I'd recognized before fell in my gut, and I swallowed.
"No," I whispered as we came to a halt. Because he didn't. I'd just seen him take revenge on my behalf. And after all I'd done, he… He loved me. He waited patiently as I flipped through my many emotions. And before I could even think about what I was saying, "I love you."
As natural as breathing, the words came out. Soon as they were in the air, though, my cheeks burst into flames and my eyes nearly burst out of their sockets. Harry, however, was smiling like I'd somehow brought all his lost loved ones back to life. Some sort of excuse was inching its way up my throat, but before whatever stupidity could find its way to my mouth, Harry took my face in his hands and stood on his toes to press his lips to mine.
With this kiss, I felt the last frozen corner of my heart thaw. It dripped down into my gut, and a sudden clarity rang through me like the many ripples it caused. Everything went still. The tightening I always felt in my chest when he was sweet to me swelled like a vice, and that sharp bundle of pain I carried around in me went pop.
Peace. Real peace filled me to the tips of my fingers and toes, to the crown of my head and the length of my spine. I leaned into his kiss, wrapping my arms around his waist as I gave over to the relief. Relief that didn't bring tears to my eyes, it… Granted me silence. Internal silence. All my mental whinging and whining shut up for the first time in my fucking life. And, finally, after months, I felt like… Maybe, I could be what Harry deserved.