*JENNIE
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Lalisa Manoban is holding my hand.
Lalisa Manoban… The undisputed hottest girl in school is choosing to spend time with me over indulging in one of the many girls here tonight that I'm sure are eager to warm her bed. I suddenly feel like I'm living in an alternate reality.
Lisa leads me down a long, wooded trail that after several yards opens up to reveal a stunning lake view. The sight of the full moon beaming off the water is beautiful, and for the first time since Lisa opened her mouth and made her presence known on the balcony, I feel myself starting to relax.
To say that going off on my own with a girl who has a reputation like Lisa's is out of character for me would be the understatement of the year, but something about the way those hazel eyes look at me has rendered my resolve nonexistent.
"Lisa, this is incredible," I find myself saying without even meaning to.
I can't help it. Not when we approach a long dock that stretches out into the water, two layback lounge chairs positioned at the end. This place is like a dream. Everything is so still and peaceful, the noise from the house a distant memory.
"This is probably my favorite spot." She throws me a sideways smile, her hand not releasing mine until we reach the chairs.
"I can see why," I admit, taking the seat she gestures to, pulling my legs up in front of myself as I watch her claim the seat next to me.
"Sometimes the world just gets too chaotic." She lay back in her seat, feet stretched out in front of her, and arms behind her head as she stares up at the star-filled sky. "This is the only place that makes me feel—normal," she admits, the vulnerability in her tone taking me by surprise.
"And here I had you pegged for some hot shot who had everything she ever wanted," I tease, mirroring her action as I lie back in my own chair and focus my gaze upward.
"Trust me, Jennie; my life's far from perfect." The use of my full name does something unexplainable to me. It sounds so different coming off her lips.
But I also can't deny the spark of anger that lights deep in my belly. Some people just have no idea how good they have it.
"Then enlighten me. What more could you possibly want?" I ask, gesturing around. "You've got money and all the perks that come along with it. You're an incredible athlete and will no doubt be able to play for any college you want. Every guy wants to be you. Every girl wants to be with you. Forgive me for saying this, but if you don't see how incredibly good you've got it, maybe you should look a little harder."
"What was it you said to me earlier—that people aren't always so black and white?" She turns her gaze toward me. I can feel her eyes burning into the side of my face, but I keep my eyes focused on the sky. "I think you'd be surprised to learn that I'm probably furthest from the person you think I am."
"Sounds like a bunch of talk to me." I shrug.
"And you would know this how?" The playfulness in her voice pulls my gaze to her. I suck in a hard breath when I see her staring at me with a look I can't quite describe—like she can see right through my façade to the weak, scared girl beneath.
"Action, Ms. Manoban. Action." I grin when her eyes widen, a hint of mischief behind them. "Words are easy, meaningless. But action. Action is what makes you who you are."
"And what do my actions show you?" She rolls to her side, her eyes now locked solely on me.
"That you're cocky and arrogant. That you don't have to wonder if you're good enough—on the football field or off—you know you are. That you devalue girls to nothing more than what they can give you in bed. That you have the world at your feet and yet have no appreciation for it. You walk around like you own the world, Lalisa. That doesn't strike me as someone who doesn't believe they have it all."
I expect my words to offend her, piss her off even, so when a slow smile creeps across her handsome face I'm left wondering once again if I have just completely misjudged her.
"I like you," she finally speaks after several long moments.
"Um. Thank you?" I say more as a question than a statement.
"I mean it, Jen. Do you have any idea how long it's been since someone has told me exactly what they think of me? It's fucking refreshing." Her smile widens. "Keep going."
"Keep going?" I look at her like she has five heads.
"I like this game." She runs a hand through her perfect sun-kissed blond hair, her hazel eyes never leaving mine.
"Are we playing a game?" I question, suddenly more nervous than ever.
"You tell me," she challenges, that damn smile still etched across her perfect face.
I look at her for several long moments, silence stretching between us. I'm not sure what to say to that. I've never had someone make me feel so twisted up inside, and I have to admit as much as I hate that it's Lisa making me feel this way, it also feels good just to feel something.
"Can I ask you something?" she asks, reaching between our chairs to retrieve the bottle of whiskey she brought with her.
"Okay." I stretch out, butterflies swimming wildly in my stomach.
"Is what Kai said about you true?" Her question is like a slap back to reality, but I try to hold my composure and not let her see just how affected I am by it.
"You'll need to be more specific. Last time I checked he had quite a few things to say," I grind out.
"Have you really never slept with anyone before?" she asks, her question a little shocking but surprisingly not unexpected.
"Are you seriously asking me if I'm a virgin right now?" I cock a brow, not sure what she's getting at.
"I likes to know these things." She clearly finds humor in my reaction.
"Why, so you can up your game and try to be the one to rob me of my virtue." I grab the whiskey bottle from her hands before she can even get it to her lips.
Taking a long pull, I ignore the burn—loving the warmth that spreads through my body as I shove the bottle back into her hand.
"I don't rob virtue." She chuckles. "It's given to me."
"Well if you think I'm giving it to you, you're barking up the wrong tree." I cross my arms over my chest and look back up at the sky.
"So then it's true?" I can hear the smile in her voice.
"Oh my God. Yes, it's true. Are you happy now?" I throw my hands up in the air as I push into an upright position, my gaze once again going to the handsome and yet infuriating girl next to me.
"Quite." She smiles, relaxing back in her chair, the bottle of Jack still in her hand.
"Typical." I shake my head, mirroring her action as I lean back.
"Despite what you may believe, Jen, I'm not as bad as you think I am. I don't make it my mission to just fuck girls. I can't help it if they throw themselves at me. Who am I to discriminate? If a girl wants me and knows what I'm offering, then that's on her. I don't lie, and I don't waste my time wooing a girl I only have an interest in fucking. If I'm gonna make the effort it's gonna be for someone worth more than that."
I turn my head to the side, taking in her sincere expression as she stares up at the stars.
"So is this you wooing me then?" I tease, just trying to lighten the mood back up.
I never intended for it to get so heavy, but here recently that seems to be my specialty. Maybe I should actually listen to Jisoo and Rosé when they tell me I need to lighten up a little.
"Maybe." She shrugs, giving me a grin that makes my heart do flips inside my chest. "How I'm doing so far?"
"I give you a three out of ten," I tease.
"Damn, sounds like I need to step up my game." The grin turns into a full smile, showing off her perfectly straight white teeth.
God, I swear I could spend forever looking at that smile.
I've spent two years harboring a secret crush on this girl and now that she's here next to me, surprising me in ways I never thought possible, I want her even more. I think that scares me more than anything. Because with a girl like Lalisa Manoban, nothing is guaranteed.
"I guess so." I can't stop myself from playing right into her hands. What can I say? I'm not nearly as immune to Lisa as I pretend to be. I think even the strongest girl would buckle under those gorgeous hazels and perfect smile.
"So, Jennie, tell me what it will take to win you over?"
I ignore the giddy feeling that's swimming through me and try to keep my composure.
"I don't think you can handle a girl like me." I give her a smirk, not sure where all this fire is suddenly coming from.
It's Lisa. It has to be. She makes me feel a way that no one has ever made me feel before—and we haven't done anything but spend the last half an hour bantering back and forth. How does she do it?
"Considering you seem to know everything about me, I would've thought you would've picked up that I'm not someone who backs away from a challenge," she warns.
"So I'm a challenge to you, is that it?" I quip.
"Among other things." She snags her bottom lip between her teeth, and I swear it lights a fire under my skin.
"Care to enlighten me?" I can't stop smiling now, no matter how hard I try to fight it.
"All in due time, pretty girl. All in due time."
"That's all I get?" I object when she settles back into her chair and looks up at the sky.
"It's all about where the night ends, Jen—never how it begins."
"Are we talking in riddles now?" I question, sinking further into my chair, my eyes never leaving the side of her face.
"I'm just saying, I've got all night to change your mind. One night is all I need."
"You sound pretty sure of yourself. Who's to say I'm not getting ready to get up and leave right now. In case you missed it, there's a pretty kick ass party going on right through those woods." I point behind me.
"If there's one thing I do not lack in this world, Jen, it's confidence." When she flips her gaze back to me, I swear my entire stomach bottoms out. "And if you were going to leave, you would've done it already. So why don't you do us both a favor and stop pretending like you're not enjoying every minute of this as much as I am."
"You're something else, you know that?" My lips betray me once more, the stupid smile pulling them up giving away exactly what she's doing to me.
"You have no idea," she promises.
"So, if you're planning to keep me out here all night, the least you can do is stop playing your little games. I see right through you," I counter.
"I think you'll be surprised to find you don't know me nearly as well as you think you do. But because I don't feel up for getting into that tonight, why don't you tell me more about you." She lifts the bottle of Jack to her lips, taking a long pull before offering me the bottle.
I take it, drinking more than I should before passing it back to her, only now truly realizing the buzz running through my veins. I wouldn't say I'm drunk, not by a long shot, but I'm certainly feeling the effects more than I've been letting on.
"I'm pretty boring," I admit, keeping my gaze on the sky.
"Now why do I find that hard to believe?" I can hear the smile in her voice, but I keep my focus off her. I need to keep a semi-clear head, and when I look at her I swear everything goes wonky.
"You shouldn't, it's true." I shrug.
"Well, let's say for argument's sake that you're wrong."
"I'm not, but by all means—ask away." I sigh.
"How about we just start with the basics. You know: childhood, your home life, favorite kind of music. You get the idea."
"So you can see just how boring I actually am. Okay," I concede. "I've lived here my whole life. It's just me and Mom, has been since I was little."
"Your dad?" she asks before I can keep going.
"Died when I was six, car accident."
"I'm sorry," she offers, her voice softer than before.
"I don't really remember him. My mom rarely talks about him. I think it's easier for her to pretend like he never existed. I don't know. I never really understood it." I pause, letting the moment settle around us. "Anyway, my mom is a pediatric nurse for Sanderson General in Montgomery," I say, referring to the next town over. "She works third shift and a lot of twelve hour days, so sometimes I'll go a handful of days without seeing her because of the way our schedules work."
"Sounds lonely," she observes, rolling to her side to look at me.
I hesitate for only a moment before doing the same, loving the way her hazel eyes hold mine so intently.
"It's not so bad. I have Jisoo and Rosé, who are more like my sisters than my best friends."
"Is that why they ditched you tonight?" There's no insult in her tone, she just seems genuinely curious.
"That's just how we are. When I need them, they're always there. And they know I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. Besides, they love to have fun, and I don't want to be the Debbie Downer who holds them back."
"Sounds like they don't deserve you."
"They do," I instantly object. "More than you can know."
"Fair enough." She takes my answer for what it is. "Keep going," she encourages.
"You're not bored yet?" I ask, tucking a hand under my cheek.
"Not even a little bit." She smiles.
"Fine." I let out a deep breath, trying to figure out where to go next. "Let's see. I love indie music. I'm a sucker for old television shows. And if I could, I'd spend every second of every day losing myself in a book—preferably a thriller or something dark and demented."
"You're kidding me, right?" She laughs like she can't believe it.
"What?" I question playfully.
"You look so sweet and innocent."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"I just never expected you to be someone who liked—well, any of the things you just listed."
"Guess it goes to show you can't judge a book by its cover," I remind her.
"You realize that goes both ways." She narrows her gaze at me.
"Okay then, prove me wrong," I suggest. "Tell me something about you that will surprise me."
"Truth?" she asks.
"Truth."
"I hate parties," she says, her admission not what I expected.
"Really?" I question, gesturing back up toward the house.
"I know. I know." She chuckles. "That's just more of a fuck you to my parents'. Figure if they're going to pretend like I don't exist, I might as well show them I damn well do."
"Lisa." My voice wavers as I stare back at the girl I always thought to be so confident, wondering now if we aren't more alike than I would have ever guessed.
"It's fine," she quickly interjects. "It's been this way my entire life. I'm used to it."
"But," I start.
"It's fine. Really," she cuts me off, clearly not wanting to linger on the topic.
As much as I want to push, I let it go. I know how hard it can be to talk about things you're not used to sharing with anybody.
I change the topic to safer ground, asking her more about football and if she has any idea where she wants to go to college since she's getting ready to start senior year. The conversation flows from there and by well into the night, I've learned so much more about her than I ever expected to know.
How she loves football because it's the only place she feels like she truly belongs.
How she misses California tremendously and how hard it was for her to leave. How she plans to move back there someday.
How she can't wait for college and while LSU is her dream school, she doesn't even really care where she attends as long as she gets to play football.
We talk for hours, both of us curled on our sides in opposite chairs, facing each other. We talk until time no longer seems relevant and everything else just kind of slips away.
I don't know at what point we fall silent, existing in a comfortable space where neither of us feels the need for words.
All I remember is staring at her until I physically couldn't hold my eyes open any longer, wondering if I would wake up tomorrow and find that all of this was just some crazy dream.
Lisa said it only takes one night to change everything; she couldn't have been more right. Because after just one night everything feels different.
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