*JENNIE
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"Spill." It leaves Jisoo's mouth the instant she slides into the driver's seat next to me.
"There's nothing to spill." I shrug, buckling my seat belt.
"Bullshit, Jen. You spent the entire night with Lalisa Manoban, of all people, and you actually expect me to believe that not one thing happened." She gives me a disbelieving look as she starts the car and pops it into reverse, backing out before switching it into drive.
"That's exactly what I expect you to believe because it's the truth."
I don't know why but I feel like admitting anything about the way Lisa made me feel both last night and this morning is an admission of weakness, and I'm not ready to swallow that just yet.
"Seriously, Jen."
"I'm being serious. We just talked."
"You just talked?" She glances at me for a moment before pulling out onto the road.
"Honestly," I tack on for good measure.
"Wow." She shakes her head, a small laugh escaping her lips.
"Wow, what? Why are you laughing at me?" I cross my arms over my chest.
"I'm not laughing at you, Jen. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that you just spent the entire night with the school's sexiest and most sought-after girl, and you still managed to walk away a virgin."
"Did you seriously think I would sleep with her?" I turn wide eyes on her, but her gaze remains on the road.
"I sure as hell hoped you would." She smiles, giving me a quick sideways glance. "But no, I didn't think you would sleep with her. But I did hope you'd at least have fooled around—you know, get back on the horse—show Kai he doesn't have the power over you like he thinks he does." She pauses. "Though I will say, his face when you left with Lisa was priceless."
This piques my interest immediately.
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, he was pissed. You could see it all over his face. And so could Taylor. They left shortly after. I wouldn't be surprised if she dumps his ass over the way he was talking to her when they left."
"Wait, how was he talking to her?"
"He was just being a huge ass. You know Kai. Anyway, I overheard her say something about him being jealous—referring to you and Lisa—and he snapped at her, said he wanted to leave. It was so obvious how bothered he was by the whole thing. I rather enjoyed watching the show." She smiles at the memory.
"I don't understand. Why would Kai care if I went anywhere with Lisa?" I ask, already knowing the answer.
"Because he's not over you. Duh," Jisoo says exactly what I'm thinking—but it doesn't help lessen the confusion I feel.
"But he broke up with me."
"Yeah, but I think he thought you'd crumble and beg for him to come back to you. Clearly his little plan backfired."
"I don't know what planet he's living on, but in what world does a girl beg for a guy to take her back after he cheats on her?" I grind out.
"You'd be surprised," Jisoo responds instantly.
"I don't understand the rules here." I let out a frustrated sigh. "Just when I think I have even a small grasp on this growing up thing, everything shifts."
"Look, Kai is an ass. He's always been an ass. And he should be the last person you're thinking about right now." She slows the car as we enter town. "You just spent the night with Lalisa Manoban—so why are we wasting our time talking about Kai? I want to know more about your night."
"I've already told you, nothing happened."
"But you did spend the entire night talking, yes?"
"Yes."
"O-k-a-y," she stretches out, waiting for me to say more.
"Okay what?"
"Oh my god, Jen. Do I have to force everything out of you? Can't a best friend just get some juicy insight into the sexy as sin, Lalisa Manoban, without having to beg?" she whines dramatically.
"I mean, we just talked. I don't get what you want to know."
"Was she nice to you?" she asks.
"Very," I admit, resting my head against the headrest.
"Did she seem—I don't know—interested?"
"I mean, I guess. She did hold my hand both last night and this morning. And she listened when I talked—like she really wanted to know what I had to say. And then this morning." I stop, the memory causing heat to flush my face.
I can still see her lying there, her eyes locked on mine. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" My chest tightens, a feeling I don't quite understand settling in the pit of my stomach.
"What? What happened this morning?" Jisoo pushes.
"Well, when I woke up, she was watching me."
"Watching you?" she questions. "Like, what do you mean?"
"I mean—she was laying on her side watching me. I don't know if she watched me sleep the entire time or if she just happened to be watching me when I woke up, but the way she was looking at me… I don't know, Chu. No one's ever looked at me like that before."
"And—did she say anything?"
"She asked me if I had any idea how beautiful I am."
"What!?" Jisoo practically screams next to me. "Why didn't you start with that?" She smacks the steering wheel. "Holy shit, Jen. Lalisa fucking Manoban is totally into you."
"What? No, she's not."
Even though it seems unlikely, I can't deny that Lisa was throwing some serious vibes my way.
"She totally is," she insists. "And—she said she was going to call you later," she reminds me.
"She doesn't even have my number." The image of her stealing my phone flashes through my mind. "Shit."
"Shit what?"
"She stole my phone earlier." I lean forward, sliding the device from my back pocket.
Unlocking the screen, I go into my contacts. It only takes a quick glance to see that her name isn't in there. My list isn't all that expansive.
"What?" My best friend bounces anxiously beside me.
"I thought maybe she added her number, but it's not in here."
"Go to your outgoing calls," she suggests.
Sure enough, there's an outgoing call right around the time she took my phone.
"See." She looks over at the device in my hand when she stops at a red light. "She totally called herself from your phone so she would have your number."
"You don't think she'll actually call, do you?" I feel panic start to creep in, my earlier fear returning.
As attracted as I am to Lalisa—because trust me, I am—I think I'm even more scared of her.
"Um, hell yes I do." Jisoo breaks into my bout of self-doubt.
"And you think I should answer?" I stare at my phone, feeling the car slow to a stop. It isn't until I look up that I see Jisoo has parked on the side of the road in front of my house.
"What's going on, Jen?" She turns in her seat, knowing me well enough to know that I'm about to have an internal meltdown.
"I just." I sigh. "I'm not really cut out for someone like Lalisa," I vocalize my fear. "Even if by some crazy twist of fate she's actually interested in me that way, I don't think I would hold her interest for long."
"Stop doing that!" Jisoo scolds. "Stop overthinking every single moment that happens in your life. Sometimes you just have to take the bull by its horns, Jen, and ride that motherfucker as long as you can."
"That's easy for you to say, you're not afraid to climb on top of the bull."
"And you shouldn't be either," she interrupts. "Look, the most popular girl in school just spent the entire night with you. Not only that, she took your number and told you she was going to call you later. You should be excited. Not sitting here looking like you're about to vomit all over my car." She sighs, shaking her head. "Do you like her?"
"I don't know."
"Jen, this is me." She holds a hand to her chest. "Do you like her?"
"I do," I admit, hating to even say it out loud.
"Then just see where it takes you okay? I know you're in the business of doubting yourself at every turn, but I'm telling you right now—if Lalisa saw even a fraction of the girl I know you are, she's already falling in love."
"I don't know that I would go that far." I laugh, shoving Jisoo's shoulder when she leans into me and bats her eyes.
"Embrace it, Jen. I promise if you let your hair down, I think you'll find you enjoy the wind in it." She winks. "Now get the hell out of my car. Go get some sleep. And call me later."
"Yes, ma'am." I reach for the handle, pushing the door open before climbing out.
"And, Jen." Jisoo waits until I turn around before continuing, "For what it's worth, I think you and Lisa would be totally smoking hot together." She grins, wide and excited. "Just imagine. You and Lisa, me and Jack—we'd be like the most popular foursome in all of school."
"Just what I've always wanted," I say sarcastically, laughing when Jisoo flips me off seconds after I shut the door.
"Love you, bitch," she calls through the open window.
"Love you more." I throw her small wave before turning around and heading inside.
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I wake with a start, my head swimming the second I open my eyes. I wish I could say that the first person who pops into my head isn't Lisa, but that wouldn't be the truth. I stare up at my ceiling, recalling all the events of last night over and over in my head.
It isn't until I hear noise coming from the kitchen that I snap out of my fog and look over at the clock. At first I think I'm seeing things—there's no way it's three o'clock in the afternoon. Reaching for my phone, the time is confirmed the second I tap on the screen.
Dropping it back onto my nightstand, I groan, stretching my arms above my head. I must have been exhausted, considering I crashed within thirty minutes of Jisoo dropping me off and am just now waking up.
Peeling myself out of bed, I cross the small space of my room and step out into the hallway. The sound of my mom rustling around in the kitchen is more prominent now and I set off in her direction, assuming she's probably making something to eat before work.
My stomach rumbles at the thought. God, when is the last time I ate something? Now that I think about it, it's been nearly twenty-four hours. No wonder I feel so famished.
"There she is." I barely make it around the corner before my mom speaks. She's standing at the stove, clad in pink scrubs, her shoulder length brown hair pulled back in a small ponytail, stirring something in the pan in front of her that smells an awful lot like chicken stir fry. "I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to get up."
"Sorry. Chu and I stayed up late watching some weird movie." I don't feel the need to be specific, my mom isn't much of a television person. Well, except for watching re-runs of Friends—that she could do for hours.
"What time did you get in?"
"Around eight. Jisoo had to work, so she brought me home early." I hate being deceitful, but I'm not lying entirely. Jisoo really does have to work today, just not until later this afternoon.
"Speaking of that, have you decided when you want to go car shopping?" my mom asks, glancing over her shoulder at me.
I've had my license for about six months now, but due to limited funds I haven't been able to get a car. I've saved up quite a bit over the last two years from my summer job at the mall, but I'm not sure I have enough to buy anything worth a crap.
"I think I'll just ride with Jisoo this year." I shrug. "I'd rather save the money and be able to add to it next year's paychecks so I can buy something that will actually last me more than a few months."
"I think that's smart. You'll want something reliable when you go off to college." She rests the spoon on the side of the pan and turns toward me. "How did I get a daughter as responsible as you?" Her blue eyes that match mine shine with pride.
"Good parenting?" I question, humor lacing my voice.
"Good answer." My mom smiles big and wide, cupping my cheek for a moment before stepping past me. "Are you hungry?" she asks, returning from the pantry with a box of instant rice.
"Starving."
"I just need to make the rice," she says, grabbing a pot from the counter before heading to the sink to fill it with water.
"What time do you have to be at work?" I ask, claiming her place at the stove where my suspicions are confirmed—chicken and vegetable stir fry, one of my favs.
"I have to be there at five. I'm working sixteen tonight." She joins me at the stove, placing the pot of water on the back burner.
"You work too much," I tell her.
"That may be true, but you're not the only one saving." She bumps her hip with mine.
I'm not stupid, I know that the main reason she's picking up all these extra hours is because she's trying to save for my college tuition, and that's hard to do when she provides the sole income for our household. She won't accept a penny of the money I make even though there have been times I've offered.
She would never tell me that's what she's saving for outright because she doesn't want to make me feel guilty. She's just that kind of mom. Selfless, giving—I know there isn't a thing she wouldn't do for me. I just wish I got more time with her than I do. I'd take time over money any day.
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We spend the next hour cooking, eating, and then cleaning up the kitchen. Mom leaves for work shortly after which leaves me all alone on a Saturday night. Normally I'd be working too, but Wednesday was my last day at Ophelia's, the small clothing boutique where I've worked the last couple summers. I never work during the school year, that's a rule of my mom's. She wants me to focus on school work—to her there's nothing more important than a solid education.
She would know. She spent six years in school—four in nursing, two additional getting her practitioner license. She does pretty well for herself, too. While we live modestly and don't have the kind of money Lisa's family has, I've never really wanted for anything. My mom always makes sure I have the clothes I want and nice things, but there's also things she can't afford on only one income; like a car for her sixteen-year-old daughter.
Not that I mind. I take pride in being able to do things for myself. It's always been me and my mom. I like to think that we're in this together. I think a lot of that stems from my dad passing away when I was so young. In some weird way, I've always felt like I need to take care of my mom, even though she's never acted like she needed it.
She's strong and independent. I like to think I'm like her in that regard, though I'm not entirely sure that's true.
I try to keep myself busy over the next couple hours by folding some laundry and taking a shower. I do everything in my power to keep my mind from wandering to Lisa, but despite my best efforts, it's all it seems to want to think about.
I keep checking my phone—making sure the volume is all the way up—wondering if she'll call.
I dress in my most comfortable pajamas—pink and white striped bottoms with a white tank top. After letting it air dry most of the way, I finish drying my hair with the blow dryer before tying it up into a messy knot on top of my head.
By eight o'clock I've accepted that Lisa isn't going to call and decide to try to distract myself with a movie. There's nothing really good on any of the channels, so after several minutes of surfing, I finally decide on renting the new Kevin Hart comedy. I could use a good laugh right about now.
I no more than hit the purchase button on the remote when a firm knock sounds against my front door. Not sure who it could be, I toss the fluffy red throw across my lap to the side and climb to my feet.
Another knock sounds just as I reach the front door. Knowing better than to just open it, especially being home alone, I peek out of the small glass inserts that surround the door frame.
Who I see on the other side has my heart clamoring inside my chest.
I expected to see Jisoo or at the very least Rosé—both of whom are known to just show up at my house at all hours of the night and day. There's a reason we call each other's houses our second homes. So when Lisa's tall frame and handsome face comes into view, for a moment I think I'm imagining things.
Certainly, this isn't real—right?
Why would—how could—I just can't seem to make sense of it.
My body acts on autopilot, unlocking the door before my mind even has a chance to process what it's doing. There's a small voice in the back of my head, questioning every movement, but I'm powerless to stop myself. It's like my body knows exactly what it wants—to be near Lisa—and my mind doesn't get a say in the matter.
I've convinced myself that the events that took place last night were simply exaggerated—that I made something out of nothing. But when the door swings open between us and those hazel eyes meet mine, I know with complete certainty that what I felt last night, what I've felt all day, is in fact real. Very real.
One quirk of her lips and my knees nearly buckle underneath me… Oh god, I'm in so much trouble.
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