*JENNIE
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"Are you going to tell me where we're going now?" I watch a slow smile spread across Lisa's face, but she only shakes her head side to side.
"You're going to have to wait and find out," she says, her eyes remaining on the road as we merge onto the freeway.
"You realize that I could get in big trouble for this. If my mom calls Jisoo's house and finds out I'm not there, I'll probably be grounded for the rest of my life." I try to guilt her into telling me.
"Nice try." She chuckles, reaching over the middle console to squeeze my thigh. "But we both know your mom is working tonight, and if she needs you she will call your cell—not Jisoo's house."
"You're really not going to tell me?" I whine, giving her my best pouty-lipped frown when she throws a quick glance in my direction.
"That's not going to work on me, Jennie Kim. I know all your tricks." She laughs next to me.
I've been super nervous about this night away since Lisa brought it up last week. With it being so close to Christmas, she wanted us to have some time alone before we both became busy with family obligations, but up to this point, she's refused to tell me where exactly it is that we're going.
"You're no fun," I huff playfully, crossing my arms in front of myself.
"Oh, I'll be plenty of fun later. Don't you worry." She throws me a wink before her gaze goes back to the road.
My stomach tightens in both excitement and fear. I knew going in that tonight would probably be the night. We've been skirting around it for weeks, things getting a lot more heated between us after the Halloween party. At this point the only sexual experience I've yet to have with Lisa is sex.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared—hell, I'm terrified—but I think more than anything I just want it to happen already. I want to cross this last hurdle and feel like I can give myself to Lisa freely without my virginity hanging over our heads.
We remain silent for the next several minutes, Lisa humming quietly along with the music playing on the radio. It isn't until about forty-five minutes into our drive that I realize where we're heading, and the instant I do, a wide smile spreads across my face.
Lisa chooses this moment to glance in my direction, chuckling when she catches my expression.
"Took you long enough." She snags my hand, wrapping her fingers around it.
"You're taking me to New York?" I ask in disbelief.
"I figured if you were going to plan your future around going to school here, you might want to experience it first." She falls silent for a long moment before adding, "I wanted to be the one to take you for the first time, that way the city will always hold a piece of us in it, something you can keep with you when we're not together." There's an air of sadness around her words, but I choose to ignore what that statement might mean for us.
I know our future is uncertain. With Lisa's graduation less than six months away, I know there is still so much to figure out. I just can't bring myself to bring it up. And while I know Lisa has been talking to a couple different schools that have shown interest in her playing ball for them, she's yet to really discuss it with me in any great detail. I think we're both hesitant to face what we know is coming.
A part of me is hoping that wherever the future takes us that we will find a way to make it work. I can't even entertain the idea that this will come to an end. When I think about my future, she's part of every single scenario. I'm just not sure if it's the same for her.
As much as I want her to choose me, to pick a school close by so we can be together, I'd also never forgive myself for holding her back should she choose to stay behind for my sake. So it's kind of a catch twenty-two. I can't win either way, so I've made a deal with myself not to think too much on it until that time comes.
"Hey." Lisa squeezes my hand. "Where'd you go?" she asks, clearly picking up on my suddenly sullen mood.
"Nowhere. Sorry." I shake it off, forcing a smile to my lips. "I'm just—nervous," I admit, addressing another hot topic on my mind right now.
"There's no pressure here, Jen, you know that," she reassures me.
"No, I know. That's not it. I want to, Lisa. I really want to," I say, knowing I don't need to say exactly what it is I want to do.
"It's normal to be nervous. And if you decide tonight's not the night, I'm not going to be upset. I planned this to spend time with you, not to pressure you into anything."
"I love you." The statement just leaves my lips without thought. I don't need to think about loving Lisa or sharing the words with her, it's one part of our relationship that comes effortlessly.
"I love you more." She grins.
"Not possible."
"Very possible."
"You're delusional." I laugh, loving this back and forth banter we always share when one person tells the other they love them. It's like our thing now.
"Shut up and look." Lisa chuckles, gesturing out the windshield where the city is now in full view.
"Wow." I lean forward, taking it all in.
"I still can't believe you've lived less than an hour from the city your entire life and you've never once been here."
"Never had a real reason to visit." I shrug. "Plus, Mom hates city traffic. Every time we've talked about coming here to see a play or visit the zoo, she's always talked me into going somewhere else. I think deep down the city just reminds her too much of my dad considering this is where they met."
"Makes sense. It was their place," she says. "And now it's going to be ours."
I smile, not realizing how much I wanted a connection to my parents' past until now. I love the thought that a place that once was so special to them will now be special to me and Lisa. No matter what happens, she will always be the first person who pops into my head anytime I think of New York.
We arrive at the Westin at Times Square just after five o'clock. Lisa reserved us a suite that is unlike any hotel room I've ever seen. Every window gives off an amazing view of the city. There's even a large window offering a breathtaking view from the jetted tub in the bathroom. Every inch of the room is pure perfection. I can't even begin to imagine what one night at a place like this cost. Something tells me I don't want to know.
After walking around the expansive space and looking in every nook and cranny, I reenter the main living space to find Lisa standing next to the largest set of windows positioned in the center of the room, her hands shoved in her jean pockets as she looks out over the city.
My breath catches in my throat at how incredible she looks standing there, the beautiful city the perfect backdrop for someone like her. When she senses my eyes on her, she turns her head in my direction, a slow smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.
"Come here." She extends her arm, waiting until I'm securely tucked into her side before wrapping it around my shoulders.
"This place is incredible, Lisa." I slide my arms around her middle, squeezing her tightly. "Everything is so beautiful. And this view—god, it's breathtaking."
"It is, isn't it?" I look up to find her looking down at me. "The most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Her eyes bore into mine.
"I think you're looking at the wrong view," I tease, feeling squeamish under her gaze.
"I think you are." She grins, turning in our embrace so that are bodies are now pressed front to front.
Reaching out, she tucks my hair over my shoulder, letting her hand linger on the side of my neck.
"I can't tell you how amazing it feels to be here with you like this." Her hand slides up my jaw before the pad of her thumb traces along my lower lip. "I love you so fucking much, Jen."
"I love you more." I smile when she shakes her head knowingly at me.
"What do you say we go see Times Square?" she suggests.
"I have another idea in mind." I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively at her.
"Don't tempt me, Jen. I brought you here to see the city, not the inside of this hotel room. But if you keep looking at me like that we'll likely never leave."
"I think I like the sound of that." I reach up and wrap my arms around the back of her neck, pulling her face down to mine. "Make love to me, Lalisa," I whisper against her mouth. "Right here, right now. I don't want to wait another second."
A groan vibrates from deep in her throat. She hesitates only seconds before her lips crash down on mine. It's slow at first, her tongue dancing lazily against mine, but it doesn't take long before the kiss morphs into something so intense I can feel it all the way to my core.
She slowly strips me bare, kissing each section of my body as the layers of clothing are removed—my shoulder, my collarbone, the swell of my breasts. The further down she goes the more the anticipation in my stomach grows.
Before Lisa, before her touch and her kiss, I didn't know it was possible to feel like this—for my body to react so intensely to another person. It's like I'm an instrument and Lisa knows how to play me with absolute precision, every note nothing short of perfection.
With shaky hands, I work the front of her pants open, swallowing up the deep moan that vibrates from her mouth into mine when I slide my hand inside the material of her boxer briefs and wrap my hand around her thick erection.
I work my hand up and down slowly, egged on by her reaction to my touch and how badly I can tell she wants this. Hell, I want it, too. I want it more than I think I've ever wanted anything else in my entire life.
No words can describe what Lisa makes me feel, both emotionally and physically. To lump that together, to finally bring the physical and the emotional into the same playing field, makes everything feel that much more intense, that much more special, that much more incredible.
When Lisa has finally rid herself of the rest of her clothes, she guides me onto the bed, my bare back coming to rest on top of the plush cream comforter. Her eyes trail down me with so much heat I swear I can feel they're path burning into my skin.
Her eyes are heavy, her breathing labored, and when she starts crawling up my body I feel like my heart is seconds away from beating out of my chest. The nervous butterflies in my stomach now feel like a large flock of birds, and my bottom lip feels raw from kneading it nervously between my teeth.
After rolling on a condom, Lisa settles between my thighs, supporting most of her weight on her forearms that are positioned on either side of me.
"Are you sure about this, Jen?" Her voice is strained as her heaviness presses against me.
"I'm sure." I nod frantically, wrapping my hand around the back of her neck to pull her face back down. "I'm sure," I say again, this time a whisper against her mouth before I press my lips to hers.
Within seconds Lisa is sliding inside of me—inch by painful inch— until I feel so full it feels like I'm being split apart from the inside out. Lisa doesn't stop until she's planted all the way inside, pulling back to look down at me.
"God, you feel so perfect, Jen." She kisses me. "Tell me you're okay. I can't move until I know you're okay." She practically whimpers, like it's killing her not to move.
"I'm okay," I reassure her, crying out in both pleasure and pain when she pulls out and pushes all the way back in, in one swift motion.
"Jen."
"Keep going," I plead when Lisa hesitates. "Please just keep going."
She repeats the same movement only this time she doesn't stop once she's buried inside me again. When she pulls out, she immediately pushes back in, working up a slow, steady rhythm. I swear I can feel every inch of her as she slides inside and then drags slowly out, working my body in a way I didn't know was possible. The pain and pleasure melding together until I can't tell where one ends and the other begins.
I don't know if minutes pass or only seconds—all I know is that the deep pressure inside me continues to build to an almost unbearable weight. Each thrust inward and each pull out has my eyes blurring and my mind unable to focus on anything but that feeling. A slow burn deep in my belly, something so intense I find myself having trouble even remembering to breathe.
"Lisa." It's a strangled cry, void of any shame or embarrassment. I don't even mean to say anything, but as the pleasure starts to peak I find myself needing just to say something, needing to ground myself to the earth because I feel at risk of floating away.
"I love you, Jen. God, I fucking love you." Lisa increases her speed, hitting me even deeper, causing another cry to rip from my throat.
"I love you. Lisa…" I don't get to finish whatever it is I'm trying to say next because at that very moment everything reaches a head, and I feel like an explosion goes off inside me. My entire body convulses, and I grip Lisa harder, drowning in the waves that crash over me again and again.
It's like the second I lose control Lisa falls over the edge with me, groaning against my neck about how perfect I feel, how good I make her feel, how much she loves me. And then her chest is on mine, and she's struggling to catch her breath as we both come down from the highest of all highs.
It's in that moment, our sweaty bodies pressed together, Lisa's heart beating erratically against my own, that I truly let myself embrace the power that this girl has over me. It used to terrify me, but now—after this, after feeling connected to her in a way I never have another human soul, I feel anything but scared. Lisa was made for me and I for her—I've never been more certain about this fact than I am right now.
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"What about that one?" I point at another building perfectly displayed from my view out of the bathroom window.
"I'm not sure about that one." Her chest vibrates against my back as she speaks, her hands sliding up and down my bare arms.
The last couple hours have been the most incredible in my life. Being with Lisa, giving her a part of me that I've never shared with anyone, was beyond anything I could've imagined in my wildest dreams.
Jisoo and Rosé had told me stories about their first times and other experiences beyond that, but nothing about sex with Lisa was even close to what they had said. It was on an entirely different level altogether. But then again, that's the way everything is with Lisa. Every feeling is intensified, every sensation heightened.
After we made love for the second time, Lisa ran us a hot bath which is where we've been for the last twenty minutes or so, staring out at the incredible view. Eventually, I started quizzing her about the buildings that were within our view, surprised to find that she knows what almost every single one is.
"What do you say we get cleaned up, and I take you out for a nice dinner?" Lisa speaks again, pressing her lips to the side of my neck. "There's this amazing little Italian restaurant just a couple blocks from here."
"I think that sounds perfect." I nearly groan at the thought of eating.
"Afterward we can walk around for a little while. I'd say we have at least an hour of sunlight left. Then maybe we can check out early and spend the morning in the city. What time is your mom expecting you home?"
"She works until six and then will probably sleep until three or four in the afternoon so we should be good until then. We'll just need to head back sometime after lunch maybe."
"Perfect." Her hands slide down my arms and across my bare chest, causing my skin to prickle under her touch. "Let's go eat already. The sooner we do, the sooner I can get back here and plant myself inside of you again."
"You're insatiable." I giggle when she nibbles my earlobe with her teeth.
"Damn right I am, only for you, baby. I don't think I'll ever be able to get enough of you. This body," she slides one hand across my stomach and then lower, caressing me beneath the water. "It's like it was made just for me.
"I think you might be right." I instantly come alive under her touch.
"Jen," she groans into my ear, clearly egged on by my reaction to her. "If you keep riding my hand like that we're never going to get out of here." She nips at the flesh below my ear.
"I think that might be okay." My body takes over, seeking a need I know only Lisa's touch can fill.
When she abruptly pulls her hand away and stands, water splashing over the sides of the tub, I instantly object.
"What are you doing?" I look up to see her wrapping a towel around her waist.
"I promised to show you the city, and that's what we're going to do. Even if it fucking kills me." She looks down at my naked body, heat in her eyes. "But when we get back, you're not going to be able to pry me off of you for the remainder of the night."
"You promise?" I smile innocently, making no attempt to get out of the tub.
"Baby, I do more than just promise." She smiles at me wickedly, grabbing another towel before extending her hand to me and helping me out of the bath.
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"Well, what I tell ya?" Lisa entwines her gloved fingers with mine as we make our way out of the restaurant and onto the rather crowded sidewalk.
"Amazing." I rub my overly full belly, not sure if I could feel any more perfect than I do at this very moment.
Unfortunately, due to the long wait for dinner, the sun has now set and we've lost what little hour of daylight we thought we'd have left. But the great thing about New York is it's even more alive at night.
Snuggling deeper into Lisa's side when a cold breeze whips around us, she drops my hand and wraps her arm around my shoulders as she steers me to the right and then turns again about two blocks up.
The lights of the city illuminate the buildings, and even though it's after nine o'clock it could very well be the middle of the afternoon.
We spend the next two hours walking around, Lisa showing me all the shops and famous landmarks I've only ever seen in movies. We spend a particularly long amount of time looking at all the billboards while Lisa tells me about some of her favorite times visiting the city as a child. Of course, that was back when she lived in California and had to take a five-hour flight to get here.
"Do you miss it? California, I mean?" I ask when she falls silent next to me.
"Not as much as I used to." She shrugs. "Though I do miss the warmer temperatures. I hate the winter." She blows out a breath which instantly fogs from the cold.
"I don't know. I think I like winter—sometimes anyway. I love when there's a fresh snow and everything is covered in white. Snuggling up next to the window with a book and a cup of hot chocolate." I smile at the thought. "But I can see how someone who isn't used to the cold would not be as fond of it. I've lived here my entire life and still have a hard time adjusting when the weather changes." I pause, quickly adding, "Do you think you'll make it back to California someday?"
"Yeah," she answers without hesitation. "I mean, that is if you're up for living on the west coast." She nudges her shoulder against mine.
"Does that mean you're planning on including me in your future?" I say teasingly, but it's a question I've been dying to ask.
"There is no part of my future that I don't see you in, Jen." She turns toward me, resting her gloved hand on my cheek. "You are my future." She stares at me for a long moment before finally continuing, "For the longest time, I thought California was the only place I'd ever be happy. It was home and all I wanted to do was go back there. But that was before I met you. You're my home now." Her words strike something deep inside of me, a reassurance I hadn't realized I needed until this very moment. "Do I want to go back someday; yes, I'd like to. But as long as you're by my side I'll be happy anywhere."
"Even if you have to endure negative temperatures?" I tease.
"Guess it just means we'll have to stay stocked on fuzzy blankets and lots of hot chocolate." She grins sweetly. "You're my home, Jen," she repeats.
"And you are mine." I smile up at her, my body choosing that exact moment to shiver.
"Come on, let's get you back to the hotel room and get you warmed up. It's freezing out here. Too bad we don't have any hot chocolate right now. Then again, I bet we can order some from room service."
"I can think of a few ways you can warm me up pretty quickly without any type of hot beverage," I tease, snuggling into her side as she leads us back in the direction of the hotel.
"Oh, trust me, Jen, so can I." Something wicked crosses over her face, and my stomach instantly twists in anticipation.
We can't get back to the hotel fast enough.
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