Chapter 9: NEIN!

Chapter Text

Serana wants to hang with us huh? Definitely not going to complain.
I turn from the smoke billowing up from the giant camp to my companions. "So, anyone have anything they want to do?"
Svarline turns from Serana to face me. "I want to find more dragons to kill. I still need to get stronger."
Serana's eyes widen slightly before she schools her expression. "Dragons?" She asks. "It has been quite a long time since they have been active."
I turn to her. "Have you ever met any?"
She shakes her head. "No, but my father had a regiment dedicated to nothing but their demise. They would occasionally believe themselves above their station and attack my family's empire. They would always fall."
Huh, that's badass and terrifying. I really hope she isn't planning to eat us when we go to sleep.
"Would you be opposed to going dragon hunting then?" I ask her.
She shakes her head. "I have agreed to travel with you to see this new world I have awoken in. If there are dragons, I would be happy to see them."
I nod at her before sighing after coming to a realization.
"What?" Svar asks, looking concerned.
"Nothing significant." I reply. "It's just there's only three dragons whose location I'm fairly confident of. Well five, but those other two are nice. Of the three I'm willing to kill, two of them are far to the north hiding under an ice shelf, and the third of which is down in Blackreach."
Serana focuses on me. "The same Blackreach that contains your Elder Scroll?" She asks suspiciously.
I laugh. "I'm more than happy to leave that damn thing where it is. We'll just have to pass underneath it to get to the dragon."
Serana hums. "You mentioned being a seer of sorts, yes? Most seers I have met are not near as accurate as you. How are you so certain of your information?"
I shrug. "My source is better than most seers."
She narrows her crimson eyes at me. "I suppose you will not tell me what you mean by that."
I smile. "You have your secrets, I have mine."
She hums again. "For some reason I do not believe I have many secrets from you 'seer'."
Christ she's smart. Why did I think waking her up was a good idea?
Oh hell, I just gave myself away with some bullshit heart hearing thing didn't I? Would Gamer's Body negate that? I have no freaking clue.
Serana simply smiles. "No matter. The two of you are quite interesting, so I think I will enjoy travelling with you. Now, would you be so kind as to lead us to this Blackreach?"
I nod and start walking to the left of the giant's camp, Mr. Rogers trotted along at my side with a skull in his jaws.
He is best boy.
Our group walks for about 3/4ths of a mile through the night before Serana speaks up.
"You mentioned an elevator, yes?" She points a finger to her right. "I do believe I have found the contraption."
Following her finger, all I'm able to see is the nearest trees, then nothing but darkness.
"I can't see what you're pointing at. Does it look made of stone and dwemer metal?" I ask her.
"Yes." Svar answers, her eyes glowing a faint green. "I'm guessing we've found it?"
I nod. "Yep, just gotta ride it down now."
Good to know metaknowledge isn't completely useless.
The four of us, led by Svar and Serana, walk up to the ancient dwemer contraption.
"Yep, this is it." I say as I become lightning and walk through the bars. "Be careful, I'm not sure if this thing still works properly."
Serana looks it over before shaking her head. "It will work fine. The dwemer were nothing if not meticulous in their creations. Some contraptions my family possessed of their make lasted for hundreds of years without maintenance."
Svarline turns to Serana with a curious expression. "Were you around before the dwemer disappeared?"
Serana shakes her head. "I am not that old. They had already been gone for over two thousand years before I was born." Her eyebrows draw together. "How long has it been since they disappeared?" She asks.
I go back through my memory to what I know of the Elder Scrolls timeline. "Something around 4000 years now?" I say.
Serana turns to me curiously. "You don't know the exact value seer?" She asks, almost amused.
I shrug. "I said my source is better than most, not that it's perfect. If I remember correctly the dwemer disappeared at around 1E 700. It's 4E 200 now?"
"201." Svar corrects me.
I nod to her and turn back to Serana. "4E 201."
Serana puts her hand to her chin and looks to the ground. "I went to sleep in the second era. Something around the 8th century if I remember correctly. How long was the third era?" She says as she looks back up at us.
I have no idea. When did Oblivion start? It was either 200 or 400 right?
"Roughly 400 years." Svar answers her.
"So I have been asleep for around 7 centuries. Interesting. Regardless, we are off topic. I assure you the elevator will work. Who knows? We might find a clue to where the dwarves disappeared to when we reach the bottom." She seems interested in that prospect, but she doesn't seem like she's exactly dying to find anything.
I shrug. "I guess it's possible, but people have been trying to figure out where they disappeared for literal thousands of years. I don't really know of anyone who's made serious progress." Well, except for Arniel Gane, but I'm not sure he gets pulled to the same place the dwarves did.
Serana turns to me and hums. "Is that so seer?" She asks suspiciously.
Ok lady, we get it. You're super smart. I'm but an ant that can hide nothing from your magnificence. Can we move on now?
Serana just smiles, letting the issue drop, and mists through the bars, Svarline's spectral form close behind her.
"Down we go!" I say and pull the lever.
Eight. Fucking. Hours. It took us eight fucking hours to get to the bottom.
How deep is this damn thing, and why the hell is it moving so damn slow?!?! Snails move faster than this damn thing!
An hour in Svar and I passed out with Mr. Rogers watching Serana as she watched us. I didn't expect him to be able to stop her if she tried something, but it made it easier to sleep at least.
We wake up six hours later to see Serana meditating in the middle of the elevator telling us she still can't hear any sound echoing off the bottom.
Svar and I sit there while Serana continues to listen before she finally tells us we're close.
"Ok." I say. "My source might be better than most seers, but as I've already said it's far from perfect. I have general knowledge of what is down here but nothing more. Keep in mind that there is definitely a dragon and go from there."
Svar and Serana nod as they prepare themselves.
With a great lurch, the lift comes to a halt with an empty hallway as our path forwards.
"Svarline and I can see in this darkness." Serana says. "We will lead, you cover our backs."
Svar and I nod and we get moving.
We walk through long abandoned halls, which lead to decrepit rooms. There are rusted amenities, crumbled stone furniture, and a large amount of scrap metal whose various purposes have been lost to time.
Whenever I see Serana turn away I inventory as much of the dwemer metal as I can. It can't all be salvaged, but when I start crafting, what can be salvaged will be very useful.
After 45 minutes of exploring, we come to a great room, large enough to house a dragon. It is spherically shaped, and there is a large contraption set in the center of the floor. Looking up, I see another large contraption with a shining pod in the center.
Svar follows my eyes and asks, "Elder Scroll?"
"Yep."
Serana joins us. "I must say, I am more than a small amount surprised you were correct."
I raise an eyebrow at her. "You see a random machine and all of a sudden I'm right?"
She shakes her head. "No. I can feel the power contained in that pod. It is very similar to the scroll I carry with me, and after spending so long slumbering with it I have become familiar with the energy it gives off. There is a scroll contained up there."
Svar tilts her head. "So are we taking it or leaving it here? I honestly don't care either way. I'm just here for the dragon."
I shrug and turn to her. "Like I said. I don't want it. That thing can rot for all I care. We have no need for it."
Serana hums again. "You should take it Dusk." She turns to me. "Store it wherever you store your second sword. It should be possible, yes? It is much better we take it with us now, than need it later and return to find it missing."
She's got a point, but that thing's going to draw attention. Daedric attention. A certain tentacle eyed Lovecraftian elder god wannabe to be specific.
On the other hand though, it's an Elder Scroll… Why wouldn't I want an Elder Scroll? I mean these things can mess with time, be used to seal away…
That's Greed talking isn't it?
Fuck, now I want the Scroll.
Svar nods to Serana. "She's right. I'll go grab it. Watch my back would you? I don't want to get blindsided by whatever traps and other defenses might be in this place."
Serana and I nod as Svar begins casting.
The cloak she is wearing suddenly splits itself into eight long fluid tendrils all connected at her back. Making her look as if she is a large spider.
The tendrils push into the ground and lift Svar aloft. The cloak walks her over to the nearby wall and begins walking up its surface while carrying her up along, reinforcing the spider image.
Damn alteration is OP. She has fine control of each of those pieces, and she was able to make them adhesive and strong enough to support her weight. Or is she changing her weight to be less than normal? Either way, OP.
Serana and I keep an eye out as Svar reaches the top and carefully maneuvers around the machine. She has to dodge in and out of a few of the larger plates of metal, but makes it to the pod without issue. She lays her hand against its side and the pod melts away, falling from the ceiling.
Serana and I dodge out of the way of the molten goop as Svar makes her way back down the wall.
Secure on the ground once more, her cloak knits itself back together and she holds a golden cylinder out to me.
"Got it." She says smiling.
"That was really freaking cool." I say to her as I take the scroll. "You've got to show me how to do that someday."
She smiles at me before turning to face Serana as I study the scroll in my hands.

Elder Scroll(Dragon)
Legendary Item
An object of great power that can be used in various ways depending on the power and knowledge of the wielder

Well that's vague as all hell.
Serana looks at me curiously. "What did you just do?"
I look at her. "What?"
"You just used your magic, yes? What were you doing?"
She can fucking sense Observe?!?!
"Uh... It was an information gathering spell." I answer.
She looks at me curiously. "Use it on me." She says.
Hesitating for a brief moment, I do so.

Serana
Daughter of Coldharbour
Level- ???
Tier- ???
HP- ???
Thoughts about you- ???

Serana is question marked.
That has terrifying implications.
I am so very glad I haven't met Harkon yet. Why the hell didn't I observe her the second she fell out of the stone?
Oh right. I was still trying to heal the hole in Svar's hand.
It must be something hard coded into the dragonborn's head that they see a very obviously dangerous button in the middle of an underground time-lost tomb that makes them think, 'Oh look! I should press that! Nothing bad could possibly happen to me! I'm Dovahkiin bitch!'
I guess in fairness to Svarline she didn't seem fazed when the spike punctured her hand. More confused than anything really.
Serana looks at me curiously. "What were you able to determine?"
Well, she can probably hear my heart, and tell if I'm lying a thousand other ways even if Gamer's Body can beat that, so truth it is.
"It's telling me you're a Daughter of Coldharbour. Other than that, you're too powerful to learn anything else."
She stiffens at my words, but ultimately relaxes. "When you trust me, I would be most interested in learning that spell from you."
Svar looks at me. "Why haven't you told me about this?" She asks with more venom than I expected.
"It's one of the ways I know things." I answer with a raised eyebrow, surprised at the sudden anger. "Had you asked, I would have told you."
Svar still looks irritated but nods in acceptance. "There's a dragon down here right? Let's kill it and leave."
What the hell's up with her?
Serana motions ahead and begins to lead the way once more.
We walk through more decrepit hallways and living quarters as we make our way through the abandoned facility.
Mr. Rogers found a chewy cup somewhere and has been dragging it along with us. I do my very best to not think about what happened to that solid metal cup to make it chewy, but I can't not think about it. At least he's a ghost dog and can't catch diseases.
Luckily, a distraction arises when we proceed through a door and emerge in a bioluminescent underground world.
Blackreach is massive. We're standing on a once paved road that has been eroded by time, staring out into an enormous cave.
The plants growing in the dirt, walls and ceiling give off various colored light. Blues, purples, reds, greens, whites, there is an entire spectrum down here. Around the building we just walked out of is an underground river that flows around a large stone, and out of sight. The 'cave' extends farther than I can see and is populated by dozens of long abandoned, eroded dwarven structures. Far in the distance, there is an enormous source of orangish light that illuminates the area around it.
"There." I point the orb out to my companions. "That's how we summon the dragon."
Serana regards me curiously. "You do not know its exact location?"
I shake my head. "No. Only that it's down here, and that if Svar shouts into that orb, it'll come running."
Svar looks out at the orb. "It'll take us around two hours to get there." She says after judging the distance.
"Well," I start. "I'm pretty good at remembering things, and this building we walked out of is pretty memorable, so I can teleport all of us there and back. I'd really prefer not to be here any longer than is necessary."
Svar looks back to me. "Any particular reason?"
I nod. "I'm not sure what is down here, but I know what could be. Particularly giants, falmer hordes, frostbite spiders, still functioning dwarven automatons, chaurus. I'd like to kill the dragon and get out before anything decides they don't take kindly to our presence."
Serana nods even as she continues to take in the sights. "A good plan. We don't know how the creatures dwelling here will react to our intruding upon their ecosystem. The shorter we are present, the better for all of us. Though I will want to take some samples of the plant life before we leave."
Svar shrugs. "So long as I get to kill a dragon, I'm fine with it."
Being reminded of an important piece of information I say, "Oh right. Svar needs to be the one to deal the killing blow." I say to my companions.
Svar looks confused while Serana turns to me intrigued.
"Why is that?" The vampiress asks.
I turn to Svar. "You alright with her knowing about you?"
Svar hesitates a moment before she nods and turns to Serana. "I'm dragonborn. That's the reason we're hunting these things to begin with."
Serana turns to her and regards her in a new light. "Interesting." She says. "I assume that if she deals the killing blow she will take more of the creature's power than she would otherwise?"
I nod.
Serana continues. "And you know this because of the spell you used earlier. Quite versatile." She puts a hand on her chin and looks to the ground as she stops speaking.
Turning back to Svar I ask, "You ready?"
She just smiles and pulls Ascalon. "Just give the word."
"Serana?" I ask, pulling her from her thoughts.
She looks at me and nods as she walks closer. "Cast your spell. I am prepared."
I place a hand on each of their shoulders while Mr. Rogers rubs up against my leg, and fire a bolt from my chest after taking note of the building we are standing in front of.
The four of us appear atop a ruined building a little over 200 feet from the orb.
I cast Lightning Form as Serana's armor settles around her once more and she is joined by not one, but two Nether Liches.

Nether Lich
Level- 112
Race- Undead
HP-6730
Unique Abilities- Decay(Accelerates the natural process of death. Potentially killing those affected in seconds after rotting away)
Thoughts about you- You are not its master. If its master didn't stop it, it would devour your delicious smelling essence

Goddamn this woman is scary.
Also very glad she's got a leash on these things.
Svarline becomes metal once more and I can tell she is enhancing her muscles by how tensed she becomes. "Ready?" she asks us.
Serana and I nod, and Mr. Rogers barks while nodding his head.
Svar smiles and turns to face the orb. "GAAN! LAH! HAAS!" She shouts out and the violet energy charges forth.
Please work in place of unrelenting force. Please work in place of unrelenting force. Please work in place of unrelenting force.
The shout washes over the orb, causing it is swung backwards with the shout as a loud *GONG* rings throughout the underground.
Yay it worked!
Oh no it worked…
The ceiling, walls, buildings, and ground all tremble as Svarline's challenge is answered.
"There!" Serana shouts and begins to fire sickly green beams and icicles towards a large red dragon who is currently flying towards us.

VULTHURYOL
Dark. Overlord. Fire.
Level- ???
Tier- ???
HP- ???
Thought about you- ???

Serana's liches begin to float higher as they rise to meet the oncoming dragon.
Svar's cloak splits once more, but unlike the tendrils from before, it forms into two equal sections which attach themselves to her shoulders and seem to lock into place.
Svar charges forward and jumps from the tower.
"Wait!" I cry as I prepare to teleport after her.
I stop as I watch her cloak flap down, and see Svar rise back up. She grins at me over her metallic shoulder, held aloft by her cloak turned wings, and moves towards the dragon.
She can fly.
How the hell can she fly?
Is this part of the bonus power she got from Liivhahfiik?
I want to fly...
Learn flight later, kill dragon now.
Refocused, I begin to cover the liches and Svar's approach by teleporting to a building across from the one I was just standing on, and creating a stream of crossfire with Serana's assistance.
The two of us fire ranged spells from our respective perches to distract and inconvenience the dragon as our fliers go to meet it.
Tired of our interference, the dragon lets loose a shout at each of us. Fire at Serana, and frost at me.
I teleport to another building to avoid mine, and prepare to teleport over to assist Serana only to see two large grey bat wings protruding from her back as she too takes to the air.
Am I the only asshole here who can't fucking fly?!?!
Bullshit. I can fly. Lightning is OP if you know what you're doing. I can figure something out right?
The liches fly around the dragon's head while Svar attacks its unprotected underbelly as I come to rest on a building and cross my legs as I sit down. Closing my eyes and meditating to think.
Ok, you can do this. You're a fucking electromancy master. Don't think too scientifically, not enough time to work something out with electromagnetism. What else have we got?
An idea comes to me and I have to force myself not to facepalm.
Why the hell am I thinking about this scientifically at all. If physics applied normally Svar's wings would fail due to her absurd metal body's density. I am powerful enough to just decide to fly. I weigh next to nothing in my lightning form for christ's sake!
I sit for a moment longer and mold my lightning. From my form of pure energy, two massive sparking wings emerge from my back.
I smile and begin to lift off the roof using the magic gathered into the wings to lift myself up, and achieve non-newtonian flight.
Oh hell yes.
I open my now electric blue eyes and turn to face the battle.
The dragon has landed down in a paved street and is fending off the flying forms of Svar and a now fully transformed Vampire Lord Serana, both of whom keep flying in for quick attacks before ducking out. Serana was scary before, but now with her ghostly armor and her true form? I am very glad I am not fighting her.
Both of the liches look beat to shit but are still hovering in front of the creature's head. Doing a very good job of tanking all the damage the beast can put out.
Mr. Rogers is phasing in and out of various debris and barking extremely loudly.
Is he messing with the dragon's hearing?
He is the greatest dog a man could ask for.
I manipulate the magic in my wings and rocket myself forwards, pulling Yamato from my inventory as I fly.
I'm halfway to the dragon when it scores a major shout into the nearest lich. The undead shrivels under the flame and turns into wispy viridian energy.
I increase my speed and bring Yamato back for an attack.
Serana senses me somehow and lobs a pulsating orb of thick red blood down onto the dragon's right flank. The dragon growls as Serana's spell pulls its blood from the wound created by the spell and returns it to her waiting mouth, giving me an opening.
The beast recoils away to its left. Directly into my path.
I coated Yamato's blade in lightning and put the entire force of my flight behind my swing as I cut out at the dragon's left wing.
The sword connects and severs the limb completely. The electrical energy I coated Yamato's blade in leaps from the sword into the newly opened wound. Working its way through the dragon's entire body, damaging and stunning it.
The severed wing falls uselessly to the ground, still sparking with the remnants of the lightning spell.
The dragon howls in pain and tries to strike me, but without its wing it's only weapon is its tail, which my lightning magic is currently circulating through. Making accuracy next to impossible for the dragon.
The silver form of Svar barrels into the dragon's now defenceless left flank as Serana continues to fire necrotic, ice, and blood magic into its right.
Svar screams out and follows up on Yamato's work. Slashing Ascalon back and forth across the dragon's exposed side.
It tries to swing its tail around and catch Svar in the back, but I meet it with the flat of Yamato's blade and use the magic gathered in my wings to bolster myself enough to outright stop the tail's powerful strike.
I force the tail away and follow after it, swinging down towards its base with another electricity coated Yamato strike.
The dragon whimpers and tries to swing its tail away from the deadly blade, but the dragon's entire form becomes coated in a sickly green energy. Taking the presented opportunity I swing the blade down, and completely sever the tail from the dragon's body.
The beast tries to slog away but the combination of Serana's necromantic magic and my own lightning, which has just been reintroduced to the dragon's form, makes the creature unable to do anything but whine pathetically.
With Serana and myself hampering the dragon's mobility, Svar flies to the back of the defenceless dragon's head and plunges Ascalon down through its skull.
The beast exhales once more towards the remaining lich and collapses.
Golden tendrils rise from the dragon's quickly decaying corpse and wrap themselves around Svar as she pulls Ascalon free.
Now standing on the dragon's skeleton, Svar takes in a deep breath, and releases it with a smile.
Serana floats back to the ground and coats herself in blood as she returns to her mortal form. She dismisses her remaining lich and walks over to study Svar.
I slowly return to the ground and release my magic. My wings disappear and I become corporeal once more.
Serana looks Svar over and says, "Fascinating. You are much stronger than before this battle started. You truly did steal the dragon's power."

You leveled up x3
For defeating an opponent 100 levels higher than you gain 5 levels!
Gain 80 Stat Points!

Dusk the Master of the Storm
Level- 119
Class- Saber - LVL 20/100 [62%]
Crafting Class- Blacksmith LVL 18/50 [31%]
Tier- Mortal
Alignment- ???
HP- 4995 [1332 per minute]
MP- 12520 [2504 per minute]
SP- 4995 [1332 per minute]
STR- 329
END- 333
DEX - 340
INT - 626
WIS - 626
CHA - 280
LUK - 284
MP Regen= WIS x 4
MP= INT x 20
SP/Health Regen= END x 4
SP/HP= END x 15

For reaching 300 STR you have gained a perk!
Overcome
When your muscles would fail in a contest of strength, you will instead succeed
Can only be used once per day

For reaching 300 END you have gained a perk!
Sated
You need half as much air/food/water/sleep as a normal human.

Svarline The Dragonborn of Legend
The Last Dragonborn
Level- 111
Race- Half-breed(High Elf/Nord)
HP- 8265
Unique abilities- Soul of a Dragon(Can absorb dragon souls and use their knowledge to learn shouts)
- Soul Devouring(When absorbing a dragon soul, if the dragonborn dealt the killing blow, the dragonborn steals more than the dragon's knowledge. Siphoning the dead beasts strength and power for their own. Can be used to obtain a number of benefits.)
Thoughts about you- She's happy you just killed a dragon with her

I need to take some time later to figure out what's up with Svar. She was pissed at me, but now she likes me again. This is why I never had a lot of friends. People are fucking difficult.
Anyway, dragon number three down. Not gonna lie, this would have been much more difficult without Serana's liches tanking every shout the dragon used. She can summon ridiculously powerful undead, and do whatever the hell else she's hiding from us because of her well founded trust issues. Really glad she decided to stick around with us a while longer.
"Since when could you fly?" I ask Svar as I walk up.
She smiles at me. "Figured it out when I was playing with Mr. Rogers yesterday morning. I fiddled around with my magic while you were still asleep and discovered some new tricks. I wanted to see what I could do after having killed a second dragon."
Serana hums. "I would imagine you wish to experiment more now? I would ask to be there to observe if you are alright with such an arrangement?"
Svar looks to her for a moment before nodding her acceptance.
Serana nods. "Good. I believe it is time we were moving. There are quite a few creatures rapidly approaching our position."
I nod and turn to the dragon to begin inventorying it.
Mr. Rogers already has his paw on one of the dragon's claws and he's panting at me.
I smile and note in my memory that that one belongs to him before grabbing as many of the bones as possible.
I wonder if my inventory has a limit to what I can carry? If so I have yet to hit it.
With the dragon and Yamato now inventoried I turn back to my companions.
Serana has her hand on her chin while she looks at me curiously. "I would very much like to test that ability when we leave this place." she says.
"We'll see." I respond as I place a hand on her and Svar's shoulders before teleporting us back to the building we arrived from.
"If you will give me a moment." Serana says as her winds reemerge. "I still need to collect some of the natural flora."
"Feel free." I say. "I'll probably do the same."
For the next ten minutes Serana and I gather up plants, her storing them in a satchel and me planting them in my greenhouse. I also grab up dwemer metal, and a few large blue glowing rocks that look relatively strong. I'll check everything over later.
The two of us return and find Svar putting her armor back on.
Svar sees us and smiles, posing in her altered armor. "What do you think?" She asks.
Where Adrianne had used steel and iron to reinforce the plates, Svar has used alteration magic and some of the dwarven metal lying around to replace it. Her armor is now black leather and bronze metal, with a dragon's head emblem on the chest.
"You look badass." I say.
Svar smiles at me, and the three of us walk back to the elevator. Mr Rogers followed happily behind us with a dead skeever in his mouth.
I don't ask.
We hop in the elevator, and everyone takes a nap while Mr. Rogers watches us.
Eight hours later we arrive back at the surface and look out into the daylight.
Serana pulls her cloak's hood up and turns to me. "Where to now?"
I grimace and look at her. "You're going to hate this idea, but I think we should go back to the tomb for a while."
The vampiress becomes more guarded and coolly asks, "Why?"
"To prepare for a longer journey." I respond. "I know of a pretty good place we could turn into our own personal fortress, but it will take a couple of days to get there. I'd rather we brew some potions, and train a little before setting off on that journey."
Serana thinks for a moment before nodding. "Very well, but if we stay for longer than a week I will go my own way."
I smile and nod. "Don't worry, we won't be there longer than a few days."
"Good." Svar's voice breaks into the mix as she throws an arm around my waist. "Let's get going. Keep up Serana!" She says over her shoulder as she begins dragging me back to the tomb.
Seriously. What's with the 180's Svar?
We snuck back around the Vigilants and entered the larger part of the tomb. A couple of Serana coordinated shouts and Yamato slices later and the block left from when we killed the gargoyles was reopened. Giving us full access to the tomb.
The four of us do various things throughout our five day stay within the tomb.
Mr. Rogers jumped into the still present skeleton pile and refused to come out for anything. I gave him his dragon bones and just left him be. He deserved the break.
Serana spent most of her time pestering me for ingredients, because of course she'd realize I store ingredients in my extra-dimensional space, before slinking off to some area I was never able to find in order to brew potions.
I pestered her back one evening and she caved, teaching me a little necromancy. Prompting a notification I didn't expect.

[Congratulations!]
[You have found a teacher who is unsurpassed in certain disciplines!]
[You may learn skills from this teacher without the corresponding class!]
[If you gain the class later, you will have EXP bonuses based on how far your learning carried you!]
[You can only learn one discipline at a time, regardless of how many teachers you have!]
[Please select a discipline to learn from your teacher!]
[Frost Magic/Blood Magic/Necromancy/Alchemy(Reduces research requirements by 50%)/Enchanting(Reduces research requirements by 50%)/Soul Magic/Swordsmanship/Unarmed Combat/Stealth/Strategy/Politics]

Huh. Well that's pretty damn useful. She's got a lot of things she's 'unsurpassed' in.
Hey Game? Is it pretty typical to find a teacher who can teach you this many different skills?

[Not at all!]
[As a matter of fact, it's abnormal to find a master of two disciplines!]
[Finding a master of eleven separate skills is unheard of!]
[You really lucked out here!]

Once again I'm made painfully aware of how much I do not want to piss Serana off. This woman could probably take the Imperial City on her own.
Moving on!
Let's see. Frost magic and blood magic are cool, but I have electromancy which is both more awesome and already maxed. Alchemy and Enchanting are unneeded right now, I won't be researching anything too substantial any time soon. Swordsmanship is taken care of by my Saber class. Stealth is unnecessary because of how absurdly fast I can be at times. Heck, the last time we were in this tomb I was practically Minato. If you swap Rasengan for Chidori, and Hiraishin for bolt teleporting. Once I can use Godspeed again I'll be even faster. Strategy and politics I don't care about at the moment.
So which magic? Necromancy is OP, and I'm already on the outs with the local law enforcement, but soul magic… I'm seeing potential there.
I choose soul magic.

[Soul Magic Affinity gained!]
[Due to the nature of how you are learning the discipline, you will not receive spells!]
[You will instead be able to shape the magic based upon how proficient you are with it!]
[Think of it as a much more limited version of Electromancy Mastery where you are only able to accomplish certain feats when you are strong enough!]
[Your teacher's ability, and willingness to teach you, will play a role in your competency!]

Very interesting.
So now I had some more magic to play around with.
Whenever Serana would come out of her hideaway she would work with Svar and myself. She would teach both Svar and myself soul magic, give Svar more fine-tuned sword lessons, and also help Svar figure out how much she had improved since killing Vulthuryol.
Turns out killing a dragon gives Svar's magic and overall skills an insane boost. Where before she could fly, she lacked fine control and speed. Both of which she has now gained after defeating the dragon of Blackreach. Serana's best guess is Svar gets around a decade worth of experience for every dragon she ends. Pretty damn good EXP gain there.
Speaking of EXP, I hopped into my demon ID when I was alone to grind up my Saber class. Figured since I had the time now, I needed to get my swordsmanship up to snuff. I gained 12 levels for my time allotment, a full day and half of the following night, and got a lot of alchemy ingredients.

Dusk the Master of the Storm
Level- 131
Class- Saber - LVL 32/100 [62%]
Crafting Class- Blacksmith LVL 30/50 [31%]
Tier- Mortal
Alignment- ???
HP- 5895 [1572 per minute]
MP- 13720 [2744 per minute]
SP- 5895 [1572 per minute]
STR- 389
END- 393
DEX - 364
INT - 686
WIS - 686
CHA - 280
LUK - 284
MP Regen= WIS x 4
MP= INT x 20
SP/Health Regen= END x 4
SP/HP= END x 15

The levels didn't give me any cool attacks or sword styles, but I'm much better with the sword than I was prior, so I'll take it for now.
After I was done, I figured it was time to start crafting. I'd been putting it off way too long and decided to bite the bullet.
Using ingredients I got from the ID's as well as what I had growing, I made a ton of potions and distributed them out to everyone.
I made fire resistance, healing, mana recovery, stamina recovery, speed, toughness, invisibility, shock resistance, and a number of others. I have quite a few recipes for potions ranging from healing, to fertility. It's pretty damn cool.
Svar accepted hers graciously, but Serana gave them back. Simply saying hers were stronger and specifically tailored to vampires.
I wasn't too insulted though. The woman is question marked for a reason. Plus, more for me!
As far as enchanting went I realized that thanks to the Gamer I didn't really need soul gems. They would definitely make any enchantments stronger, but I could improve them later.
I enchanted both my armor and Svar's to be stronger, more resilient, and resistant to various forms of magic. Including the thu'um. Took a couple hours of testing to figure that one out. My enchantments wouldn't no sell anything, but they would reduce the effectiveness of any attacks or spells used against us.
I offered to give the same enhancements to Serana's gear, but she just raised an eyebrow at me and held out the sword I gave her the last time we were in this tomb.

Serana's Sword
Deals STR 30 Electrical Damage per strike
Deals STR 20 Frost Damage per strike
Deals INT 30 Necrotic Damage per strike and slows enemies
Deals WIS 20 Soul Damage per strike and corrupts enemies
This sword is unbreakable

What the fuck does corruption do?
She grinned at my expression and walked off. God that woman is scary.
Every night Serana would slink off to wherever it was she slunk off to while Svar would sleep with me.
She seemed very clingy lately. Confusing me even more. I really don't do the whole socialising thing all that well.
The second night after Serana had finished her lesson and left, Svar spoke up before we went to sleep.
"Dusk?" She asked almost hesitantly as she rolled a stick between her fingers.
I looked over. "What's up?"
She sat down next to me and scrunched her eyebrows together. Thinking hard about something. "What's your plan?"
I was a little confused by the question. "What do you mean?"
She looked up to meet my eyes and bit her lip. "I know we're going to the Sky Haven place you told us about, but what are you planning on doing with it? What's your long term goal here?"
I opened my mouth to answer but stopped myself. I didn't really have a long term in place did I? Thinking about it, I really didn't give a shit about half of what was happening in the world. I don't hate the dragons, they're just a way to make Svar stronger, so I've been thinking of ways to hunt them. Harkon needs to be stopped eventually, same with Mirakk, but we've got time. I want to take out Delphine and Farengar before too long, but beyond that I don't have a goal.
"I don't really have one." I respond looking back to Svar. I raised an eyebrow at her. "Why are you asking? Do you have something you want to do?"
She nods and swallows. "I've got a few things. Mainly I want to get stronger, it's why we went after that dragon, and what I've been doing since I lost my family. I want to be strong enough to live however the hell I want, and protect the people close to me so I don't have to watch anymore of them die."
I nod. "Admirable. Most people just want power for power's sake. While I'm not going to condemn anyone for that, I think your reason's better than theirs." I chuckle. "Better than mine."
Svarline tilts her head at me. "What do you mean 'better than yours'?"
I take in a breath and speak. "I've been getting stronger so that I can survive. While not a bad reason by any means, it isn't really working towards anything you know? Like I said, I don't really have a plan. My overarching goal has been 'Live Till Tomorrow' for quite a while now. I'm just starting to get to the point where I can think about what I want to do aside from just living. Still haven't really thought about it obviously, but the option's finally there."
Svar rubs her wrist. "Now that you have the option, what are you thinking about right now?"
I look over at her questioningly. "You mean what goals can I think of off the top of my head?"
Svar looks up and nods, waiting for my answer.
I look at the roof of the tomb and think.
What do I want aside from power? I suppose I want to travel around. I mean, I'm in the fucking Elder Scrolls universe. This place ate my childhood. I would wake up early in middle-school just so I could grind Iron Daggers and up my smithing. I spent hours running around and jumping so my acrobatics and athletics would increase in Oblivion. I actually fucking talked to people while playing ESO. My stupid introverted self, talked. To other people. About the lore, or how powerful a certain enemy was compared to others. Hell, one time when I was running through Banished Cells my group just stopped halfway through to argue about whether or not High Kinlord Rilis could beat pre-ascension Mannimarco.
This world is a dream come true for me, and when I'm not fearing for my life, I'm really enjoying my time here.
I also really like hanging with Svar. She's rough around the edges, but I'm fucking jagged so I don't have room to complain.
Learning from Serana is awesome too. I mean, I know real magic now. How freaking cool is that?!?!
I just want to keep doing what I'm doing really.
I guess that's my goal then. Travel around and hang out with friends.
Realizing I haven't spoken for a while, and seeing Svar nervously playing with her hair, I speak up. "I just want to keep doing what we're already doing really."
Svar frowns and looks confused so I clarify.
"I like what I'm doing right now. I like running around and seeing what's in the world. I mean, despite the fact that we left Blackreach quickly, it was still beautiful. It was an underground world with glowing walls and freaking dragons! Tell me that's not awesome."
Svar smiles slightly, but she still pulls at her hair nervously.
"I like learning magic, making the impossible possible. Heck, we flew! I like that. I like seeing whatever I can see, and I like wandering around. So that's my goal. Wander around, abd see what I can see. Maybe meet some friends along the way and do it together."
Svar freezes.
"I think that's my goal. Just go around seeing the world, learning whatever there is to know, and doing whatever feels right. Might not seem all that fancy, but that's what I want."
I look at Svar and see her eyes narrowed and hands clasped so tightly they're turning white.
Huh, that's weird.
"What about you?" I ask. "What's your goal?"
Svar takes a deep breath and turns to look at me.
Why does she look so pissed?
"I…" Svar begins but is interrupted.
"Svarline I need to borrow you for a moment." Serana speaks up as she walks out of whatever shadow she was skulking in. "You will be able to return shortly."
Svar turns to face away from me and looks to Serana.
I shrug. "Whenever you're done I'll be here." I say.
Svar looks back at me without the anger. Just disappointment. She stands and follows Serana.
Not sure what that's about, but I need to talk to her about the whole angry, not angry, angry again thing she's been pulling. It's really starting to get a little tiring.
I sit down and start to build a fire while I wait.

(Svarline)

Bitch interrupted us on purpose. If her general demeanor didn't give it away, the shit eating grin on her face would.
She leads me through various corridors and into a small cave. Dusk long behind us.
"What do you want, Serana?" I ask with gritted teeth.
She chuckles. "Oh, I was merely getting you away from Dusk." The woman purrs at me.
I narrow my eyes. "Why? What do you want?" I repeat a little louder.
The vampiress grabs her chin and tilts her head. "I don't know really." She hums then turns to look at me. "What would you say if I told you I was going to take him?"
I snarl as I close the distance.
This bitch fucking dares?!?!
"Dusk is mine, vampire! Keep your fangs to yourself or I will tear them out!" I use my newly practiced magic to cause smoke to rise from my body.
The vampire throws her head back and laughs. "Oh girl, this will be fun! You think you have claimed him don't you? You're wrong!" She bares her fangs at me in a pathetic imitation of a smile.
I close the distance until I'm a hair's breadth from the vampiress and huff burning smoke into her face. She doesn't flinch. "I have been with him long enough for the two of us to slay three dragons. He is mine. I will not allow you to steal him away from me. He wouldn't accept you anyway." I add as an afterthought.
The vampire's crimson eyes seem to shine as her grin somehow grows wider. "Is that so?" She hums. "He seems to admire strength, and I am most definitely stronger than you."
I snarl and open my mouth to respond but the air is stolen from my lungs.
I gasp and feel myself pressed up against the wall of the tomb with sharp claws delicately petting my throat.
"Some dragon you are." The vampire taunts. "You are not even strong enough to claim your mate. Let alone protect that claim. I think I might change him. Make him just like me. Do you think he would enjoy venturing throughout eternity at my side? Living forever, and seeing all that time has to show him?" She asks curiously.
I thrash against the hold and pull on my magic. The bitch was listening! She's trying to take him from me! I will end her!
A single touch ceases my resistance as her claws come to rest directly under my eye.
The vampire hums. "Perhaps I should cut this pretty little face up? I wonder if he'll be able to stomach you without your looks? Or perhaps he'll finally be able to see the true you? The controlling housewife act you present is tiring, and I've only been with you for a few days. Do you fear him running upon discovering just how primal you are? Dusk might not be able to see it, but I can. I'm much the same way after all."
Serana's form changes into the monstrosity it was in Blackreach. Pale skin pulled against angular features, with ears longer and pointier than an elf's, eyes sharper than a wolf's while still red as blood, and a maw filled with jagged sharp teeth. She leans close to my ear and whispers with a gravelly voice into my ear. "I sensed it very soon after meeting you, I just didn't have a name for it until I knew what you were, dragonborn."
I snarl and begin to call upon my thu'um. Fire will teach this bitch some manners. "YO..*gack*"
Serana closes her hand around my throat to cut off my airway. She brings her monstrous face back in front of me, and tilts her head as she studies me. "You possess so much power, so much potential, but you lack the finesse and control to use it properly. You think hiding what you are is the best way to live? Well I'm living proof to the contrary."
She removes her claws from my face and releases my throat.
I fall to the ground and cough as I begin pulling air into my lungs once more. I feel two leathery wings envelop me and am pulled into an embrace.
"You will not master your nature in a day, but you will master it. I struggled with the animal in me just as you struggle now. The only way to overcome your new draconic traits is to strengthen your will even as you grow in strength. The last thing you want is to lose control of yourself in a situation that will destroy you." She begins to stroke my hair as I continue to breath heavily. "I threatened what you believed to be yours, and you immediately lashed out. What happens when someone else threatens to take him from you? Someone who cannot best you as I can? Someone whom he calls a friend?"
My eyes go wide as I think of the repercussions. I look up to the monster and plead. "How can I stop this? I haven't been able to control myself well since the first dragon! Everything is so… so vivid. I see things differently, I feel things differently. How do I make it stop?!?!"
Her angular features soften, and her monstrous appearance becomes strangely comforting. "I will help you." She says. "Just as my mother helped me. It will never stop, but it will grow comforting when you finally master your new instincts. One of which is obviously a dragon's greed and anger. You see Dusk as yours. The idea of him any other way offends you, and while I believe he will accept you, you must stop seeing him as a thing. He does not belong to you, and he has his own issues. Where I sensed an overabundance of emotions from you, it is almost as if his own have been muted somehow. Control yourself better, and allow him to come to you. If I am correct you will not have to wait long at all."
I look up at her. "But…"
The vampire's eyes harden. "No. You are young and prideful, a shortcoming magnified by your draconic powers. Stop, and wait."
I clench my teeth, but nod. "Fine, but don't fucking touch him." I growl.
Serana laughs again. "Girl, you are centuries too young to convincingly threaten me, but your attempts are endearing if nothing else. I will touch whoever I please." She seems to glide away as I go to pounce on her once more, disappearing to wherever it is she goes when she is not training Dusk and I.
I grit my teeth and lean up against the wall I was just pinned against. I slowly slide down it and sit with a sigh.
Much as I loathe to admit it, she's right. This dragonborn thing is fucking with my head. I've never felt anything as strongly as I do now.
The whole fiasco in Whiterun… I stopped caring what people thought of me after Fiale, but that bitch infuriated me.
I've never cared about money, but all of a sudden I get irritable if I don't have at least a hundred septims on me. I've never cared about baubles either, but now… well.
I pull out the little red stick with the black bottom that Dusk gave me. I don't know what it is about this small thing that intrigues me so much. It doesn't even do anything! Is it simply that it's unique? That no one else has one?
I don't know.
I fiddle with the little red buttons a bit more before I place the small thing back into my backpack and sit down. I think of Dusk and smile.
I've never been interested in relationships before either. Now though? I want, no, need him. I can't explain it. Do I just admire his strength? While that is certainly attractive, watching him stand after having a dragon land on him was delicious, but his strength isn't everything. He's been honest with me hasn't he? If I were him, I wouldn't have said anything to correct me about him having used me to escape Helgen. He's never outright lied to me, he has things he keeps from me true, but I am obviously keeping things from him as well.
I lean my head back against the cave wall and look to the ceiling.
I don't know how to respond to any of this. Should I wait until I've 'mastered my new instincts'? Should I act now while he's unclaimed? I'm more lost than I've ever been.
Running was easy. I just went from place to place and left whatever problems I happened to have behind. This is hard. I don't know how to act, and if I mess up, it'll follow me.
I sigh and stand up.
I don't know what to do, and staring at the ceiling won't change that fact. I walk through the corridors until I'm back where I left Dusk.
He's just finished setting up a small fire in the center of the room. He uses his lightning magic to set it alight, and sits down before he turns to look at me.
"Ok we need to talk." he says, making me nervous.
I slowly walk over and sit down next to him. "About what?"
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Look, I'll be the first person to say I suck at the whole socialising thing, but something's up with you, and I don't know what. It seems like every other second your opinion of me changes. You go from pissed to nice at the drop of a hat, and I don't know why, so what's up?"
I'm confused. "No I don't."
Dusk's face loses all emotion and he just stares at me. "Not ten minutes ago you asked me what my long term goals were. I told you, and you got pissed at me. I don't know why, and I won't figure it out unless you tell me. So what made you so pissed about what I said?"
I think back over everything we said before Serana pulled me away. He just told me his goals right? He wants to travel, to learn, to meet new people and….
"Yes." Dusk says, interrupting my thoughts. "That face. What is making you so pissed off?"
What? I'm not mad. I was just thinking about him with other people….
Oh.
I take a deep breath to calm myself and look at him. "It's not you."
He raises an eyebrow. "Ok? Is there anything I can do? I'd like to help if possible, but you need to tell me the problem." He says genuinely.
Do I trust him with this? No, that's not the question. Do I think he'll leave if I tell him?
I grit my teeth.
He won't leave. Serana may have offered to help, but I trust Dusk more.
"It's this dragonborn thing." I tell him.
He looks confused. "What do you mean? What about it?"
I swallow a lump in my throat and continue. "It's changing me. The way I see things, the way I feel things. Serana essentially said I'm becoming more draconic, and it's really messing with me."
He puts his hand on his chin. "I guess that kind of makes sense. You have a dragon's soul, so a few dragon traits bleeding over would be almost expected, but why does it seem like I specifically am causing you problems? Am I doing something that's messing with your dragon side?" He asks looking back at me.
I shake my head. "It's not you. It's me. I'm just having trouble controlling myself."
He looks confused. "What does that mean?" He asks.
"Just something I need to work on." I say back quickly.
Dusk grabs his chin again and hmm's. "I could use that information gathering spell I've got? We could see if that helps at all."
Am I alright with that? He's already used it on me if he knew about me having to land the killing blow on dragons. Besides, I trust him.
I nod. "Ok. See what it tells you."

(Dusk)

Svarline The Dragonborn of Legend
The Last Dragonborn
Level- 111
Race- Half-breed(High Elf/Nord)
HP- 8265
Unique abilities- Soul of a Dragon(Can absorb dragon souls and use their knowledge to learn shouts)
- Soul Devouring(When absorbing a dragon soul, if the dragonborn dealt the killing blow, the dragonborn steals more than the dragon's knowledge. Siphoning the dead beasts strength and power for their own. Can be used to obtain a number of benefits.)
Thoughts about you- She's nervous that you'll reject her because of her Dragon side. She doesn't want to lose you.

Nothing new aside from the thoughts.
"It's not telling me anything it didn't before." I say to Svar.
Her shoulders droop and her head hangs a little. "It was worth a shot I guess."
And she's depressed now. I'm guessing it has something to do with the whole rejection thing.
"Hey." I say. "We'll figure out a way to help you. I'm not going to leave you out to dry just because you've got a little baggage. We'll figure this out."
Her whole face lights up and she throws her arm around me. She holds me for a long time, before she quietly says, "Thank you."
Let's see if that helped.

Svarline The Dragonborn of Legend
The Last Dragonborn
Level- 111
Race- Half-breed(High Elf/Nord)
HP- 8265
Unique abilities- Soul of a Dragon(Can absorb dragon souls and use their knowledge to learn shouts)
- Soul Devouring(When absorbing a dragon soul, if the dragonborn dealt the killing blow, the dragonborn steals more than the dragon's knowledge. Siphoning the dead beasts strength and power for their own. Can be used to obtain a number of benefits.)
Thoughts about you- Love. You're hers.

Oh.
That's why this was bugging her so much.
Well that explains a lot. As a side note, I'm an idiot.

(Interlude: Ranje)

Why do I always get stuck with the night shift? Every Oblivion damned time someone needs to stay after, every one of the fuckers votes my ass up.
Bastards.
I sigh. At least Joftrr and I are finally heading on that trip tomorrow. The monotony of it all was really starting to piss me off. Been wanting to visit the Eldergleam since I was a girl, and we've finally got enough saved up to pay for the trip. Even if it took almost two full years.
Guard's pay sucks ass after all.
I continue on my patrol of the city and count the minutes until I get to go home.
I'm finishing my last pass by Moorside Inn when I hear groaning coming from the back alley.
I sigh. Couldn't have got drunk and passed out an hour ago could you buddy? Had to be now. Of course it had to be now. An hour ago would've been convenient.
"Hey!" I call out from the entrance to the alley. "Get your lazy ass up and get home! I don't want to have to drag your drunk ass out of there, so do us both a favor and walk yourself home!"
My only response is more groaning.
I exhale through clenched teeth, and make my way down the alley. "Fuck this shit. Had to come out now, couldn't have got drunk two hours ago, could ya? Had to be now."
I see the fuck leaning up against the wall at the end of the alley.
"Hey! You'd better not be pissing or I'm taking your ass in! You hearin' me idiot?"
I grab the man's shoulder and pull him around to face me. I get a good look at him and shove him away.
The man's face is rotting off, his ribs are visible because his skin just isn't there. There's no organs either. Just a walking shell.
"Shit!" I say and fumble with the enchanted alert bell on my belt. I've almost got it when I'm grabbed from behind and pulled to the ground, I lose track of the bell as it falls away from me.
"Oh no no no. We can't have you be doing that sweet thing." A gentle female voice says from right above me.
I struggle, trying to free myself from the pin but a fist connects with the back of my head hard enough to dent solid wood.
I'm having trouble staying awake. I think the bitch said somethin else? Or is that the ringing ears?
I feel a gentle kiss on my neck and fall asleep.

(Interlude: Esbern)

"Again." The Justicar's voice says from the right of the table I'm strapped to.
I feel the blade enter my arm once more and cry out. Unable to hold my screams after weeks of unending torture.
They would break my body, then heal it so they could break it again. I'm not sure how long it's been since they found me. Since they brought me this cave in the middle of nowhere. I never see the sun anymore, so it's hard to tell. It can't have been a full month though.
Right?
"You know how to make this stop old man." The woman sneers down at me. "Simply tell us everything you know about this, 'Alduin's Wall' you mentioned in your journals. Do so, and we will release you."
I grit my teeth and keep my mouth closed.
The Justicar lets out an over dramatic sigh. "Continue." She says to the man beside her.
Once again I cry out as the torturer uses the blade to lever my bicep from the bone.
"I'm not sure what you are so keen on protecting old man." The Justicar begins conversationally when my muscle has been pried off. "You are the last of your kind. Delphine has forsaken your organisation, choosing to serve Whiterun in order to save her skin. You have no one, nothing. Why do you protect an organisation that has both died out and betrayed you? Just tell us what we want to know, you'll finally be free."
She's right isn't she? I'm alone. The last of a dead people. Delphine betrayed everything we stood for in order to save herself. I kept our histories to the bitter end, and what was my reward?!?! To be the 'guest' of these Thalmor dogs for weeks!!!
I'm too old for this. I'm not strong enough for this. I just want to rest. Is that really so much to ask?
"Ok." I croak out through dried lips.
"Excellent. Now where is it, and what is it?" I can hear the smile in her voice as the Justicar walks closer to me.
I'm sorry.
I tell her everything she wants to know, and am finally allowed to rest.

(Interlude: Mr. Brie)

Mr. Brie sat in its chair and gave its full attention to its most generous host.
"Hah! He flew! Didja see? Hahaha! He finally realized that the floor is lava! No one can live in lava for too long now can they?!?!"
Its silver haired host straightened out his beautiful burgundy dress as he nodded at his own wisdom.
"This one's fun!" His host cried. "He ain't a Prisoner though. Must be the Prison itself!!! Why didn't I think of it sooner?!?!" The host turned to the guest sitting next to Mr. Brie. "Take that down Mr. Muenster!!! It's very important!!! Can't afford to remember it now can we?!!?"
The host stood from his chair and leapt upon the table.
"Aww," he said. "The little rascals taken to the role nicely wouldn't you say Feta?"
Feta continued sitting in its chair and did not respond.
The host nodded sagely. "True true. It's almost as if he was born to it!!!!" The host threw his arms wide and looked to the heavens, before hunching over and placing his hand on his chin.
"Unless he wasn't! Of course!!!! Ol' Terra's being tricky again! Tis the only question that satisfies the answer! My, she hasn't been interested in our neck of the woods since she sent me here!!!" The host's eyes look off into the distance as he fondly recalls his journeys. "Oh yes! Happy times!! All the stabbings!!! The flowers!!!! The stabbings!!!!! The jumping!!!!!! The STABBINGS!!!!!!! The courtings!!!!!!!! THE STABBINGS!!!!!!!!! That wonderful little fan I fed to the water!!!!!!!!!! THE STABBINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The host sighs with a contented smile on his well featured face. He snaps his fingers and a long piece of parchment appears in his hand.
"Let's see here…. My shift keeping 'ol godheady asleep….. Taking the fishies for a walk….. Putting a pin on Molag's chair and being so quick I don't get caught even though I'm on camera….. Pulling the sun out of the sky so it can join the tea party…… Making a sweet roll without cinnamon…… NOPE!!!!! Nothing important needs doing!!!!! The calendar says so!!!!!"
The host holds the parchment out so his guests can read it. On its surface is the word 'so' and nothing else.
"Guess that means I get to meet an 'ol chum!!!!!" The host strokes his magnificent silver beard contemplatively. "Unless we aren't chums until he's been chummed… Hmm…Gouda! Your thoughts?"
The host turns to the guest seated to Mr. Brie's right, who keeps its silence.
"Brilliant!!!!!!" The host cries as he leaps from the table. "Absolutely brilliant Gouda!!!!! I knew I kept you around for a reason!!!!!"
The host flicks his wrists and a cane appears in his right hand, a top hat in his left, and his well made suit is exchanged for a black t-shirt with a bow tie and undershirt pictured on the front.
"THEEEEEEEEEEEE BEST OOOF TIMES IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!" The host sings beautifully offkey as he begins to dance his way out the door. Leaving his guests on their own.
Mr. Brie just keeps on sitting in its chair. Awaiting the next time the silver ha