Chapter 4

Some triggers in this one. Please let me know what you think.

"Hey you. You left so fast last night that you had me and my fathers worried sick that you might be in trouble." The strawberry shampoo floats around me as she leans in so close. "I'm sorry. I had to run otherwise, I would have been late and gotten in trouble." I keep my eyes locked onto hers to convey that I am okay. "Hey Q" a poke to my ribs gets me to turn around. I look over at my two friends and wait for whatever tidbit of information that they felt the need to share at this moment. "Friday night?" Quirking an eyebrow, I silently ask what about it. "We are having a sleepover." Rachel says and I turn back to meet her gaze. Normally, I would need to come up with a reason as to why I cannot. Not this time though. I look at all three of them and tell that I will ask Will during free period. I receive smiles all around. My only problem is figuring out how to get clothes for a sleepover. I guess that is future Quinn's problem for now.

"HEY EVERYONE!" Just like that the small bubble I had created around me pops. "You should tots burn those vest Mr. Schue." Santana pops off without even looking up. He looks down at his outfit for a second and frowns. When his eyes return, they lock onto mine, and I know that I am going to pay for that remark later. "Thank you, Santana for pointing that out. Now who is performing this morning?" He looks around the room and looks at me. He doesn't really think I had time to prepare a song last night while trying to find a place to sleep. Does he? I look away and so does he. "MR. SCHUE!" Kurt and Mercedes raise their hand. "Are you guys ready to perform?" They look at each other for a moment "Mr. Schue, we just want to know what your favorite Journey song is." The dark-skinned diva asks. He looks puzzled for a moment before smiling. "Don't Stop Believing. Why?" They both smile at each other, and both say "no reason. We will be ready to perform at the afternoon meeting though." Tina and the wheelchair guy, Artie, raise their hand to perform. "Britt and I are performing a song together this afternoon too" I look at them and nod silently wishing they asked me to join in with them.

Most of the day is uneventful, at lunch, Puck asks me out again. I stare at him and wonder why he hasn't moved on. Telling him no for the thousandths time it seems, I return to my conversation with Santana as Puck walks away. "He's not going to stop." I look at her and wait for her to explain further. "He has a list to complete." Quirking an eyebrow "elaborate, please" I say. "You are on his list of people to sleep with." Oh. "Oh" I also say out loud. Frowning at that thought "I don't want to sleep with him ever" cringing at the thought of him anywhere near me like that. "Of course, you don't… haha… you're gay as gay can be." Santana laughing is drawing a small audience. "Santana… hush" I whisper scream at her. "I'm not…" She cuts me off "you are, and it's okay, Q." We really look at each other for a moment, and I swear a quiet understanding passes through each of us. "You can't tell anyone, Santana. Promise me." I fight back the tears as I beg her. "Your secret is safe me until you are ready." Giving her a genuine smile, I go back to my book. "So now that everything is out in the open per say…" Sighing, I knew she couldn't well enough alone. "When are you and Berry getting it on?" If she grins any wider, I swear her face will split in two. I know I have to look like a goldfish grasping for air right now. "I don't know what you are talking about. She and I don't have… I mean she doesn't feel that way about me." Shaking her dark ponytail "please that girl is totally into you." A small smile on my lips appears hoping she is right. I don't make comment and turn back to my book. "Why are you not eating? Crappy hamburgers not doing it for you today?" I look to her tray of food and frown before looking at her "nope" I say turning back to my book. Truth is, I would of ate four of those crappy burgers today if given the chance.

More excited than I should be, I make my way to English class. Rachel is already sitting in her seat when I enter the room. She lights up when she sees me. It's hard for me not to return it. "Hello Quinn" Mrs. Moore greets me. I return her greeting before taking seat next to my small brunette. She may not be mine but in my mind she is. "Hey" we both say at the same time. Part of me is hoping that she will take my hand again. I know I could take hers, but I don't want to step over any boundaries with her. "Are you sure that you are not in trouble from last night? My daddy has already texted me like ten times today to ask." Smiling I tell her I'm not in trouble. Well, I'm not in any more trouble than normal, but she doesn't need to know that. "I meant to give you my cell phone number" I hand her the slip of paper with it on there. Thinking it better to say something, I tell her about the app on my phone that allows Schue to monitor my messages and calls. I don't want her to send me something that would cause issues with him. "That is a violation of privacy, Quinn!" Risking it, I take her hand in mine. The sparks are back as soon as contact is made. "I know, but it's the only way I am allowed to have a phone" that answer is more truthful than I ever planned on being about life with Will. I give her hand a squeeze and go to let it go but her grips tightens. "Not yet" she looks at me and for the first time, I can tell she feels it too. "Okay"

When the bell rings to signal the end of class, the disappointment sets in. I don't want to leave Rachel's side. She doesn't go to leave either "Do you want to go to the library together for our free period?" I would love to head straight there with her, but I need to talk to Will. "I need to talk to Will about tomorrow night. I can meet you there afterwards." Dark eyes lock with mine, and I can tell that there is a question on the tip of her tongue. I grab her hand and squeeze it again. "I will be there soon. I promise" releasing her hand, I make my way towards the Spanish classroom.

Approaching the classroom door, I knock before entering. Will looks up from some papers and sees me. Smiling he says, "missed me already, Lucy?" I hold fast at the doorway. I don't want to be trapped with him at the school after this morning. "I just came… I came to ask if you would bring me some of my clothes from the house tomorrow." I get it out fast and steady in the end. "Close the door and come inside, and we will talk about that." I gulp nervously. "I have a meeting with Coach Sylvester." I lie hoping to avoid him. "Come in. It won't take long. Close the door" Closing my eyes for a second, I close the door and walk further into the classroom. He makes his way towards me. Standing directly in front of me, he reaches behind me and locks the door. "What are you going to give me for this favor?" Breathing deeply, I ask what he wants. "You know what I want, my wife" he runs his fingers between my top and skirt. His fingertips leave cold chills every place they touch. "What?" I think I know the answer, but I would never say it. "You will give me what I want on Sunday with no fighting. Understood?" I nod and another piece of me dies inside. "I will have your clothes with me tomorrow" I turn to leave. I don't want to be here any longer. "Not so fast. Where is my kiss?" His fingers grab my jaw and pull me closer. His face is rough and scratches me as he presses a kiss to my lips. "Good girl, Lucy. I will see you in glee." Disappearing out the door before I could even blink, I wanted out there the instant I stepped foot inside. My nerves about Sunday are growing wildly inside me. I try to force myself not to think about it and just enjoy the small freedom that I have until then.

My phone beeps from an unknown number. The text message reads where are you. I don't respond but instead head to the library as quickly as possible.

When I first enter the library, I scan the tables looking for Rachel. I don't see her right away. Walking further into the library, I catch sight of brunette head in the far corner cubicle. Smiling to hide the true terror behind my eyes, I make my way over to her. "Hey, sorry that took a little longer than I thought" I whisper behind her. She flips around, grabbing my hand and pulls me into the chair next to her. I barely manage to muffle my discomfort of my back coming into contact with the chair. What she doesn't do is release my hand once I am seated. "Are you able to come tomorrow? If not, Santana and I are working a plan to make him let you stay the night." Smiling at her, I glance at our hand then thread our fingers together instead. "I can come." We get shushed from the librarian after Rachel screams with excitement. "Sorry, Ms. Perkins" Rachel's guilty face is adorable. Once we are alone again, Rachel smiles before bouncing out of her seat and wrapping me in the biggest hug she can. My arms wrap around her, and a small tear drops from my eyes. I realized this is the only hug I have ever craved. I hold her tighter not wanting it to end, but we are in technically in public, so I let go. "Don't tell Santana and Brittany. I want to surprise them tomorrow." She doesn't need to know that it has more to do with Will finding out than anything else. "Of course," she hugs me again and then inner twines our fingers together again. I feel we should talk about what is or isn't happening between us. I'm just not sure how to start that conversation. However, the bell decides that now isn't that time. "I'll see you in glee" the tiny hyper brunette stands and without thinking kisses my cheek before I can even blink. I look up to see her reaction, but she's gone. My cheek is warm where her lips just touched me, and my fingers trace the small spot trying to remember that feeling again. I think we have a lot to talk about after that.

Stumbling out of the library in a daze, I head to my class of the day. I don't even remember what was said in my last class. I don't even notice any of the other students shuffling to get out of my way. "Hello Q!" Santana blocks my path. She's smiling which is never a good thing if Brittany isn't around. "Hey San" I go to move around her and head to glee. The crazy Latina moves in front of me again. "What is it? I want to get to glee." She grins again and gives me a knowing look. "I know to see Berry." Frowning, I never noticed that she doesn't call Rachel by her first name ever. "Why don't you call her Rachel?"

"Because I like calling her that. She said she likes it" Crossing her arms over her chest. "Okay but why are you stopping me." Placing my hands on my hip, I try to my best HBIC impression on her. It never works because she says I am more like Jello than ice. "Finn is performing a song for you this afternoon." The shear panic in my face says it all apparently because she is barely able to stay upright from laughing so hard. "No. He can't" now I have to get to Rachel and make sure she knows I'm not interested in him. In the back of my mind, I know I am forgetting something important.

Rachel found it all very amusing in glee. I've never been so embarrassed in my life. For the life of me, I can't figure out why a guy that can't dance would perform a song and dance routine to Nelly's Just A Dream. It was every bit a terrify as I thought it would be. I did finally remember that thing I forgot. Will, is livid. I can see the vein in his neck. His face still the ever-present calm as Finn once again asks me out on a date. "No Finn. I'm not interested. Please stop asking me out for the last time." I do my best to strike the fear of God in him with my eyes. I hope it works. "Sor…Sorry" he rushes out his apology before taking his seat again. Looking back at Will, I am thankful that I will not be home with him tonight.

Santana and Brittany perform their duet of Hukuna Matata from the Lion King. I can tell from San's face that it was Britt's idea to perform the song. I also make a mental note to tease her relentlessly over this for the rest of her life. Their performance does make me smile and giggle at their dancing. When up leaving for cheerleading practice at the same time as the opening words for Don't Stop Believing leave Kurt and Mercedes mouths. Rolling my eyes at them as we leave, I whisper to San and Britt "suck ups". They both laugh as the door shuts behind us.

Before cheerio practice ended, Coach Sylvester announces that we are not to wear uniforms on Monday. She said something about them all going to cleaners or something. I wasn't really paying attention, since I was working on thinking of a hiding place in the locker room for the night. After everyone left, I walked freely around the room. Coach's office wasn't locked, so I looked in there for anything that I might be able to eat tonight. I found a protein bar in her drawer and claimed it. I also found the lost and found box and looked through it for something else to sleep in before remembering the cheerio t-shirts and shorts coach had gotten a few months back. Snooping further, I found the box of items and grabbed a couple of shirts and shorts for myself. Never know when they might come in handy. Surprisingly or not so surprisingly, the school at night is less scary than home.

Finally, out of that awful uniform, I pull my homework out and get to work. I don't make it far into my assignment before I remember what Leroy said yesterday. My leg won't stop bouncing as my mind races with what I could do with that information. I can't live like this for the rest of my life. I have a hard enough time talking about self to people as it is. I don't think I will be able to sit in front of someone and tell them my life story. My fingers pull my hair, and I fight the urge to scream out. Plus, what if it backfires on me, and I end up worse off than now. No. No, I don't think it could get any worse. Looking over at Coach's desk, I see the envelopes and a plan starts to form.

An hour later, I have managed to write a letter to Leroy and addressed it to Judge Berry. It tells him, who I am, what has happened and been happening to me and how I just want away from it all. I also tried my best to explain my fears of people finding out too. I signed it Lucy Quinn Fabray (AKA Quinn Schuester). Taking the envelope and placing the letter inside, I close it up and pen the name Judge Berry on the outside. My plan is to slip into their mail when I am over tomorrow in hopes that he will see it and help me. This is my last attempt at freedom. I won't have it in me to try again if this fails.

After completing the letter, I was able to finish my homework for Friday. The couch in the office is calling my name. Anything has to be more comfortable than that playground I slept at last night. Plugging my phone in, I set the alarm so I can wake up and hidden before coach arrives in the morning.

Morning comes to early again, at least I am not cold this time, I hurry through my morning routine in the locker room. Cheerio Uniform back in place, I grab my book bag with the hidden letter in it and exit the locker room. I stop at my locker and exchange my books. I also make a point to hide the letter until after glee practice today. My stomach rumbling reminds me of just how hungry I am this morning. The curly haired demon is already here. I can see him down the hallway talking to Ms. Pillsbury. Steeling myself, I make my way towards them. "Hello Quinn" the red head greets me. "It must be nice having the grandparents here for these last few days." I look at her and then Will. I know what he wants me to say. "It has" I say with a smile. Taking a chance, I look at Will. "Did you bring…" I trail off not sure how to finish the sentence. Ms. Pillsbury looks between us "I will let you two talk. See you later, Will?" He nods his agreement to her before motioning me to step inside the office.

Once the door is closed, he rips my backpack off of me and goes through it. I have never been more glad to have hidden the letter in my locket than right now. "What are you… what are you looking for?" I ask worriedly. He looks at me "just making sure". Reaching behind him, he turns the lock into place. I am in the same position as yesterday. Is he only going to kiss me again today? My question is answered quickly as he advances on me. Pinning me to the wall in his office. "God, I've missed you" he sighs out as his body presses into mine. "I can't wait until my parents leave, so I can do all the things I miss to you" a hand runs up my side and pulls the side zipper of my top down. This can't be happening here. Please make him stop. "Quiet, Lucy" he whispers as he pulls my top off, and I left in my sports bra and skirt. Both of his hands reach for my bra and pull it up exposing my breasts to him. "Yes" he hisses before taking one in his mouth while his hand kneads and pinches the other one. Fighting back the tears, I tell myself this is for my clothes. I can be strong. Suddenly, I feel his other hand travel down and cup my center. Please don't let him try to have sex with me right now. Thinking of anything to stop him without making him mad, I say "to many people around". It makes him stop and pull back enough to look at me in the eyes. The fire burning in his eyes says he doesn't care. "I want you" is grounded out. He goes to pull down my spanks and underwear but stops mid pull. A student and maybe a teacher is talking outside the door. He smiles and kisses me before backing away. With shaky hands, I pull my clothes back on and cover myself and wipe away the few tears that escaped. "Your clothes are there" he points to the small duffle bag beside his desk. Nodding, I grab my backpack and duffle and vacate his office as fast possible. I head back to the locker room to see what clothes he packed. A pair of jeans, t-shirt, bra, questionable underwear, and a hoodie. Frowning, I notice he didn't pack me any sleep stuff. At least, I have those spare shirt and shorts I snagged last night. I add them to my bag and place it in my locker.

The entire school day was blare. Rachel and I did our usual song and dance routine during English and free period. It makes me nervous for tonight slightly. I did avoid the lunchroom today and seek out Rachel in the auditorium at lunch. I managed to avoid Will pretty much all day minus glee. I guess all and all it was a pretty good day minus this morning. The closer time gets to go to Rachel's the more nervous I become. Santana and Brittany still don't know that I am coming. It's hard to stay still during glee. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I've never been to a sleepover, and I have no idea what to expect. Glee ends, and I was the only person who didn't perform. I will probably pay for that too. "Ready? Dad, should be outside waiting for us." Rachel looks to Santana and Brittany. I whisper in her ear that I need to go by both my lockers and will meet them in the parking lot. The Rachel Berry smile is on full force at me. Before exiting the room, I look over and see that Ms. Pillsbury entered the room and is talking with him. Perfect, he is distracted. I make my exit and stop at my locker to grab the letter. I slip it into my backpack before heading the locker room. Grabbing my small duffle, I shoulder it and make my way to the parking lot. The rumble in my stomach reminds me that I haven't had anything to actually eat in over a day.

Rachel is introducing San and Britt to her dad when I finally meet up with them. Rachel sees me first and smiles at me before skipping over and giving me a hug. Santana and Brittany, both notice me and smile also. I smile at them also. "Let's go" a small hand slips into mine and pulls me towards the car. "Hello Quinn." Hiram greets me. "Hello sir… urr… Hiram. I'm sorry about running out like that last time." His kind eyes look at me and it feels like they are seeing everything that I keep hidden. "We were just glad that you were not in any trouble." He smiles again. Placing my bags in the trunk with everyone else's, I slide into the backseat with S and B. The chatter is light and fun. Santana still can't believe I was able to come and wants to know how I pulled it off. I avoid answering that question. It's really easy too since Brittany is telling everyone Lord Tubbington latest adventure. "So that is how I ended up finding out who was stealing all my hair ties." Everyone laughs. I just wonder how or why a cat would do that. I guess some questions are better left unsaid. Looking at my two best friends beside me, I notice their hands holding onto each other. Sometimes, they are so obviously in love with each other. I'm the only person that knows that they are more than friends. It's one of the reasons why I know San won't out me to anyone either.

"Here we are. Everyone out!" The small man quips. Santana and Brittany take the house in for the first time and smile at me. "Come on. This is going to be so epic tonight." The Latina says. "Love your house Rach." Brittany throws in.