Chapter 16: Nothing For It

Ouch, I was only going to write a bit, but my muse took over. Now I'm hating that. Oh well, enjoy.

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Killing the basilisk was easy. Deadpool had Harry call it out and shot it between the eyes. There was no talking, they knew what it was and what it would say. Luna was 100% behind it. She also knew that it was a foregone conclusion.

"I think I can make a suit for you out of these skins," Wade said, examining the corpse.

"You can sew?" Harry asked, completely flabbergasted. It wasn't something he thought that Deadpool could do.

"I'll have you know I sewed and designed my suit," the costumed man said, still fingering the scales on the snake.

"Won't that be unforgiving?" Luna asked, knowing that basilisks were known to have tough skin.

"I can still work it, maybe the house elves will help. Tilly!" he called, hoping she could come here, and that she wasn't busy.

"Deadpool is calling Tilly?" the elf asked as she popped in. Then her eyes got wide. "Yous is being killing a basilisk," she said in awe. She glomped Deadpool around the knees, almost making him fall.

"It was easy," Wade said, extracting her from his legs.

"What can Tilly bes doing for yous?" she said, standing back and looking around the Chamber of Secrets. She would have to tell the other elves that it was found and needed a good cleaning. Maybe they'd find something interesting.

"I want to make Harry a hero suit with the skins," Deadpool said, pointing to Harry. "He's going to be a proper hero. That and he needs to kill Voldyshorts," he added as an incentive.

"The bad man still lives?" the elf asked in fear. They didn't know that.

"In a manner of speaking," Deadpool said, kneeling down and putting a hand on her shoulder. "Harry here is going to take care of him. In order to do that, we need to take care of Harry," he said, squeezing her shoulder in a reassuring manner.

"Tilly wills be telling the other elves. Tilly will bes right back," the elf said and popped away.

"You've started something," Luna warned, not sure if it was a good thing or bad.

"I'm sure it will be fine," Deadpool said, waving her warning away. He and Harry were well equipped to handle anything. Well, mostly he was, but Harry was coming along.

Tilly popped back in with an older elf. "This is being Slam, he is being the head elf at Hogwarts," she said, nudging the elf forward.

"The bad man is still alive?" the elf asked, not knowing he was repeating a question.

"Yes," was all Deadpool said this time. He figured that Tilly had already explained the rest. The elf was just scared.

"Wes be taking good care of yous three. Yous three will help the elves," Slam said, popping away without another word.

"Tilly will be making a suits for Harry Potter sir. Wills you be needing a mask?" Tilly asked Harry as she went examine the basilisk.

"No, no gloves either. Just a suit like Deadpool's without the mask and gloves. Oh, and can it not be red?" he asked, not knowing that basilisk skin couldn't be dyed. "Oh, and can it be magicked to grow with me. If not, then make a few bigger ones. Or save the skin, and I can learn to make it myself. But I want one when I get older," he added, thinking of all the things he needed to have in a costume.

"Tilly can bes doing both, but not the dyeing," she said, turning to address the question. She already knew how to make it so it grew, even though basilisk was spell resistant, the author wanted it to grow with the boy, but wanted the color the same. Deadpool had made it clear that she was part of a story, so she didn't question it.

"Hey, mine is red to hide the blood," Deadpool said, with a smug look. Sure, it had taken a blind woman to point that out, but still…

"I'm hoping the color it is, will do the same, but not all of us can survive a gunshot," Harry said, pointing to the man in question.

"You can too. Well, you will be able to in say a month," Wade said, looking at how much Harry had changed in the last month. "It will be a month, right?" he asked no one and got the confirmation anyway. "Good, I don't want to hang around forever. I just wonder how I'm going to get back to my time," he mumbled to himself, though everyone heard him.

"Are you sure you don't want to stick around. I mean isn't there another one of you running around in this timeline?" Luna asked, not wanting the man to leave so soon. She was having ever so much fun. It wasn't every day that you got to see a killer in action. That and she had fun telling him not to kill the teachers.

"I guess you're right. I haven't even met my girl yet. I wonder…" he trailed off thinking the repercussions of changing his past. Then decided that for all the pain, it worked out well in the end. Vanessa accepted him as he was, and he was invincible. Maybe he could hang for a bit longer. He still needed the time stone to get back anyway.

"Tilly will makes you a suits," the elf said again this time snapping her fingers and skinning the snake. "Yous should sell the rest to the goblins," she added, looking at Deadpool because he was the adult, sorta.

"I can do that. Can you package it up?" Wade asked, thinking he could do it tomorrow when the kids were in class.

"Tilly will," she said, and started snapping her fingers many times. Soon enough, the snake was wrapped, shrunk and ready to go. "This wills last until the goblins unshrink it," Tilly said, then she popped away with the skin.

"So, Fluffy?" Harry asked as they wandered up the stairs to the Room of Requirements.

"Sure, we're just going to see if we can get the door open. If so, I want to see where the trapdoor leads," Wade said, the basilisk in one of his many pouches.

"What if you get caught down there? We can't come and get you," Luna said, thinking they would never get passed the dog.

"Just play some music," Deadpool said, hoping that it worked like it did in mythology. "I'll try that before I go down," he said, pulling out a flute from… somewhere.

"Can you play that?" Harry asked, though by now he should know that Deadpool could do many things.

"A bit," was the answer. "Can either of you?" Wade asked, pointing with the flute.

"I can, one song I learned in primary school," Harry said, taking the flute and playing Mary Had a Little Lamb on it. It wasn't half bad.

"I know a few songs too," Luna said, taking it and playing some songs that neither boy knew.

"That'll work," Deadpool said as they came to the door.

Suddenly a cat walked up to them.

"Oh no, it's Mrs. Norris," Luna despaired, moving to hide behind her costumed friend.

"Mrs. Norris?" Wade asked, bending over, and petting the kitty. "There's a good kitty," he purred to the cat.

Mrs. Norris was purring as well, she never got attention from anyone that was not Mr. Filch. He was a good human, who feed and sheltered her. He gave her a good life but made the rest of the school hate her. This strangely dressed human was nice.

"She's Mr. Filch's cat. She lets him know where wayward students are. We're out after curfew," Luna explained, leaning over his shoulder, and petting the cat too.

"She doesn't seem like a snitch," Deadpool said, picking the cat up and continuing to pet it. All three of them were now showering the cat with attention.

"What does Quidditch have to do with this?" the little blonde girl asked, peering at Wade's covered eyes.

"A snitch is someone who tattles," Harry said, looking around to see if Mr. Filch was nearby. he didn't hear anything, and his hearing was really good. "We should let her get back to what she was doing," he added, reluctant to stop petting the kitty. He never had a pet, Petunia would never allow any animal, besides Marge's dogs, in her house. Hedwig was the closest thing to a pet that he ever had, but he considered her a friend.

"I guess," Deadpool said, putting Mrs. Norris down and patting her butt to get her moving. "Off you go now, and no ratting us out," he said to the cat, who meowed back at him and ran off.

"Do you think she'll listen?" Luna asked, moving from behind him.

"Sure, she's a good kitty," Wade said, going to the door that held Fluffy back. "Can either of you unlock this?" he asked, knowing they were still new students.

"I can. I do it all the time at home," Luna said, going up to the door and unlocking it magically. "Alohomora," she intoned, and they all heard the click. "Not very safe," she muttered, standing back for Deadpool to enter, while she and Harry waited for the okay.

"Yeah, it's a simple spell," Harry agreed, going to the lock, and doing the same spell. It clicked again, even though it was unlocked and opened. "Is this a first-year spell?" he asked, looking at his blonde friend.

"Yes," was all the answer he got. She was paying attention to Wade, who was playing the flute.

Fluffy let out a huge yawn with all three heads. Soon enough, he was fast asleep.

"Come on," Wade said, opening the trapdoor.

"Hurry, or he'll wake," Luna said, all but flying to the hole in the floor. She jumped in with little thought, that made Harry hurry to follow her. Wade waited until Harry's feet cleared the hole and jumped in after them.

They all landed on a vine that was covering the whole opening about halfway down. Deadpool took out his katanas and started slashing. Luna simply sat still and fell through. Harry was waiting for Deadpool to finish when he saw Luna fall. So, he did the same.

Deadpool wasn't having any of it. He continued to slash the plant like it had called his mother a whore. It wasn't long before he too was on the ground. The plant finally fleeing as far to the walls as it could. "Serves you right," Wade said, pointing his katana at the plant, which made it shiver like it understood.

They continued on until they came to a room with flying keys.

"Pretty dumb to leave brooms here," Luna pointed out, gesturing to the three brooms standing on the wall.

"Don't worry about those," Wade said, pulling some plastic explosives from… somewhere, "Go back in the hall," he directed the kids, who did as bid. The explosives did what they should, and the door was no more.

"Must you blow everything up?" Harry asked, when the smoke had cleared.

"Yes, yes, I must," Wade said, going into the next room. "I'm not playing chess," he said, taking his swords out again and started hacking. Harry started punching and Luna cheered them on.

That room was cleared faster than if they played, and there was a troll in the next. Deadpool killed it with his gun, and they moved on. The next room had a bunch of vials with a puzzle. But Deadpool simply grabbed Luna and jumped over the fire. Harry shrugged and jumped too. The last room was empty, but for a stone on a pedestal.

"All this for a rock?" Deadpool said, picking up said rock and pocketing it. "Come on, this was a waste of time," he said, moving to go back to the third floor.

Everything was still destroyed, so they had little trouble. However, Fluffy was barking up the hole, and they had no way out. Deadpool pulled out a grappling hook from… somewhere and threw it up and climbed the attached rope.

Harry and Luna shrugged, and Luna climbed on Harry's back as he too went up the hole.

Deadpool had Fluffy asleep again and they closed the trapdoor and left.

They were halfway to the dorms to take a nap, before going back to the forest, when they ran into a teacher. "Just what are you three doing out after curfew?" was the silky question.

Snape had found them.