A/N

What's this, a new story? When my main story is slowly plugging along and as of yet unfinished with hundreds of thousands of words in the works and unwritten?

You fucking bet. I needed a side story or two to focus on while I am getting slapped up with some writer's block for a scene or two in my main fic, and I've had this little nugget of a story in my head for years. So, why not? Probably because it's a bad idea to split my attention like this for the risk of a story dying on an already done trope, but that's not going to stop me. I'll out stubborn the death of the fics and continue writing even if it physically hurts to do so.

In line with my other fic, this will be an SI-OC reincarnation with the MC being a shitty person. Tremble in my pure originality. Meh, I got into fanfics about a decade ago because of Naruto, only fitting I actually write one in this section. This fic will actually be in third person btw, because I feel like it. May be some growing pains but I'll get through it. Expect more sporadic updates unless I get hit with the inspiration bat or writer's block on the main fic.

Updates will be a bit sporadic though, just saying this up front.

Enjoy it if you want.


A man grumbles and groans, standing up from his spot on the floor with bleary eyes. Stretching out and making sure to crack his back and neck, he scratches his rather scruffy beard as he takes in his surroundings.

Which, to him, makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Just a few minutes ago he was kicking back on his couch with a freshly made cup of tea, not inside of a dimly lit infinitely stretching metallic hallway.

"Hello? Anyone else here?" He calls out curiously, scratching the side of his head as he begins to march down the hallway. There was, rather predictably, no response considering it was a blank hallway. There weren't even any rooms or branching paths as far as he could tell, just a perfectly blank and smooth metal.

Furrowing his brows, he stops walking and turns to the wall. Running his hands up and down it, it just feels like a completely blank surface. No rivets or creases, even at the corner where it met the floor. The fuck is this?

A pulling sensation suddenly hooked its way into his navel, giving him the feeling of being yanked at the speed of light towards a destination he couldn't see. It was impossible to tell the actual speed or distance traveled because the walls were completely uniform and unblemished.

After an excruciating few moments, the man suddenly came to a complete stop by being thrown unceremoniously onto some carpet by the force. Coughing and desperately trying not to allow his stomach to perform its desired exodus through his mouth, he hunches down and squeezes his eyes shut as they water slightly.

"Do mind the carpet, I won't be held responsible for what happens to you should you ruin it," a deep baritone voice says from in front of him. Lifting up his head, his eyes widen at the absolutely massive-looking man in front of him. The giant was wearing a very expensive-looking suit and was sitting in a luxury executive office chair at a desk. His large digit pokes audibly at the gargantuan book opened in front of him.

"Sooo… do I get an explanation for why I'm here and where 'here' is?" the man eventually asks, looking around at the rather nice office he was in now. The large man huffs in exasperation and grumbles to himself a small bit.

"Ugh, Mortals. Never able to piece together the puzzle so very obviously before them," the giant says in disregard, shaking his head and tutting lightly.

"Well, there's about 3 different options I can think of and I figured it would be easier to just ask," he states with a deadpan, looking at the giant with an eye roll. "Some timey-wimey fuckery has thrown me into a different time and you're cleaning up the mess, I've accidentally traveled dimensions through the power of making the best fucking tea you've ever seen, or this is a reincarnation discussion where I'm a dead man about to be thrown into some fantasy world. So, did I get it or am I just really off base?"

The giant merely grunts, reaching over to a writing quill to fit his size and plucking it out of its inkpot.

"Not as dull as you appear then, Mortal. It's the last of those, although with a few caveats. You aren't actually even the main fragment of yourself, you're just a copy. The original You is going into a different universe," The giant states matter of factly, learning forward in apparent expectation but seems to be disappointed in the complete lack of a reaction from the Mortal.

"Did you not hear me? You are a mere copy of a fragment," The giant repeats, causing the man to rub his beard for a few moments in thought.

"Meh. I decided long ago that if for some reason there were ever copies of myself and that if they couldn't establish contact with the original they were free to live as if they were the original or their own person. Cloning and de-aging technology were starting to become ever more viable, so I was thinking it would be good to decide that with myself before it came up," the man responds matter of factly as if it didn't matter much.

"...you are a strange one. Who plans for having copies of yourself running around autonomously and without any supervision?"

"You come up with strange topics to think about when you having raging insomnia and sometimes don't sleep for days at a time. For example, I also decided that if- Wait, whatever, it doesn't matter anyway. Where am I going and what's the deal?" the man asks impatiently, cutting himself off from an oncoming tangent.

"The Naruto Universe. An orphan at age 6, clanless, Konoha, and with Gamer Powers including your memories. There are no restrictions being placed on you. Now, choose a name and get the hell out of my office if you aren't going to amuse me with theatrics and begging to be put back into your old life," the Giant waves his hand, causing a screen to pop up in the Mortal's vision.

Blinking in surprise, the man looks at the words.

Alert!

Please enter a first name: _

The man thinks a moment before shrugging and making a choice.

'No need to make it something dumb sounding if it's something I'll be stuck with and isn't a place with ridiculous names, a normal name should do fine,' he thinks as he types in a name.

Name: Ken

Are you sure? [Y/N]

Pressing yes on the screen in front of him, Ken stretches out again as he looks at the Giant.

"Well, I would say it was nice meeting you but all that happened was an insult or two and a short discussion. Hopefully, I'm not seeing you again any time soon Giant," Ken says with a small wave, turning away from the desk and opening the door. There wasn't a hallway on the other side, much to his surprise, only a pure white pane of energy.

"Don't die too quickly Mortal, otherwise this would be boring," the baritone voice rumbles one final time as Ken feels a strong push on his back sending him straight through the portal.

Loading…

Loading…

Loading…

Ding!

Welcome to the wonderful world of Naruto! Filled to the brim with wondrous abilities and people to meet. You are an orphan from Konohagakure, the Village Hidden in the Leaves. This is an-

'Blah blah blah skip, I don't need exposition about this goddamn world. Trust me Game, I already know,' Ken thinks as he looks around the room he found himself in. It was pretty standard fare from what little he's seen of living spaces in this world, if a tad bit run down.

"Mirror, gotta find a mirror," he mumbles as he pats down his new and barely grown body. Opening up side doors to different areas, he's surprised to learn that he actually has a dedicated kitchen area, a closet, and a bathroom.

"Huh, this place is pretty nice. How the hell do I afford this?" Ken asks himself, dragging a stool into his bathroom. Hopping up on top of it, he can see himself in the mirror.

"Hmm. I look extremely generic, this doesn't bode well for my survivability," Ken jokes, pinching and pulling at his painfully average face. "God, I can already see thousands of me dying every time a fight between even a couple of Jounin happens."

Ding!

You have unlocked character creation! Merely say "Create character" and you will be able to finally not be a generic nobody. Instead, you'll get to be a visually distinguishable nobody.

"Well, at least the Game still has some personality by making fun at my expense," Ken mutters in amusement as he shakes his head.

"Character Creation."

Ding!

You will now be able to make your character. First, let's take a look at your current character sheet.

Name: Utazane Ken

Title: Academy Student

Level: 1 (0.0%)

HP: 50

Ckr: 10

Sta: 10

Stats:

Str: 1

Vit: 1

Dex: 1

Int: 1

Wis: 1

Luk: 1

Points: 20

Utazane Ken is a 6-year-old clanless orphan whose parents were killed in a routine border patrol turned skirmish at the outbreak of the 3rd Shinobi World War. A year later, he has now finally received approval to attend the Academy after petitioning every month for the past year. Many speculate this is entirely due to hatred of the paperwork he was causing rather than any natural ability he has as a Shinobi. Widely considered absolutely useless.

As you can see, you already have points to spend! Lucky you. But first, let's deal with your looks. You can adjust them with this screen, and it will show you what you will look like when fully grown! Just carefully adjust the sliders to achieve the look-

"Blah blah blah, I'm just going to slap randomize until I get something that I like enough," Ken interrupts, skipping the rest of the tutorial dialogue and pressing the 'Randomize' button.

"Oh fuck no, that yellow is ugly." Randomize

"God that looks like an Oblivion character." Randomize

"That one makes Orochimaru look appealing." Randomize

"Mint green skin? What is this, Dark Souls?" Randomize

"God this- Wait, this one actually looks good. Even if the hair color is a bit weird… Fuck it, if Sakura can have Bubblegum Pink hair I can have some Royal Blue," Ken says, rubbing his chin in thought as he presses the 'finalize' button.

What follows is one of the weirdest feelings in his life as Ken's features shift to match a much, much younger version of the preview he got. Pulling at his face, he silently decides that this isn't a bad look besides the fact that he's 6 and thus has baby fat still.

Ding!

Quest Alert!

Don't be late for school:

You are about to be late for your first day at the Academy! Get there in time or face the consequences.

Time Limit: 14m 37s

Reward: 10xp, plus relations with class

Failure: minus relations with class

Accept/Decline

'Fuck you game, couldn't you have warned me sooner?' Ken complains mentally as he clicks accept, rapidly looking around for a bag of some sort. Finally finding a small pouch and a satchel, Ken tears from his apartment in a sprint- barely remembering to actually lock it behind him.

Through an action you performed, you have unlocked a new skill!

Sprinting: Lvl 1 (0.0%)

Increases the user's running speed when active by +150%. Costs 2 Sta/second when active and moving.

Glancing at the timer in the upper part of his vision, Ken thinks back to where the Academy is located. At the base of the Hokage mountain, if he recalls correctly. Turning his head rapidly, Ken spots the Hokage mountain looming over the village, with only… 3...

"Oooooh shit. Status," Ken states forcefully as he pulls to a stop, scrolling through his sheet to the bottom. "Outbreak of the 3rd Shinobi World War. Three Hokage, no Fourth."

"Well, I never thought I'd willingly become a child soldier. Off I go then," Ken states blandly, watching his stamina bar drain pitifully fast as he ran.

LINE BREAK

Ding!

Quest completed: Don't be late for school (2m 4s remaining).

Reward: 10xp, increased reputation with class.

"I… did… ughhh…" Ken says breathily in exhaustion as he falls into the room he was directed to by a helpful Chūnin. Picking his face up from the ground and looking around the room, he is greeted by a stern-looking Chūnin at the front of the class, and what look to be his classmates all staring at his glorious entrance into the class.

"I assume you are Utazane-san?" The Chūnin instructor asks in a dry voice, showing his disapproval for Ken's entrance. The light laughter from the rest of the class seems to agree with him, but Ken just gives a small wave from his position on the floor.

"That's me Teach, was just excited I wasn't late. Almost overslept, so I had to run here as fast as I could," Ken states as he picks himself off the ground, dusting himself off and grabbing his bag again as he makes his way to one of the open seats at the back of the room.

Through an action you performed, you have unlocked a new skill!

Bluff: Lvl 1 (0.0%

Allows the user to bluff their way through a situation. Success chance increases will level. Current bonus: +1%

'That's a bit harsh to say I bluffed there. I didn't exactly have much time before I left Game,' Ken thinks to himself as he settles in for whatever the first day of classes entails. Probably just syllabus and expectations bullshit from what he knew of most schools.

"Alright everyone, my name is Goko Sugome and this is Academy Class 1-C. I will be your Sensei for the remainder of your time at this academy. I expect to be addressed appropriately," he pauses there to stare at Ken for a good moment. "So you will all address me as Goko-sensei until you graduate this Academy or are moved to a different class. Am I understood?!" Goko says sternly, eyes sweeping the room daring anyone to gainsay him. He receives a smattering of unenthused responses from everyone but doesn't push the envelope despite looking displeased.

'What does he expect after trying to intimidate a room full of children?' Ken asks himself as he inspects the contents of his bags while Goko rattles off rollcall. He doesn't really recognize many of the names, but internally he perks up when a few of them are called. A Nara, a pair of Inuzuka, and an Uchiha. That last one is what really pulls Ken's attention, even though it shouldn't surprise him that they are still around.

All is balanced in the world though when he looks over and immediately spies the Uchiha brooding by himself and completely ignoring his classmates. Classic. "Observe," Ken quietly intones as he stares.

Uchiha Tora

Title: Academy Student

Level: 6 (37.9%)

HP: 600

Ckr: 125

Sta: 300

'...Really? I know I'm a basic bitch character right now but Mr. Broody here could absolutely fucking destroy me,' Ken laments, staring at the absolute canyon between his stat's and Tora's. He doesn't even want to imagine what Tora's characteristic stats look like compared to his field of 1's.

Ping!

You have used the Observe skill for the first time, unlocking it for future use.

Observe: Lvl 1 (9.6%)

Allows the user to observe a target, granting the user information about their name, title, level, and maximum levels of HP, Ckr, and Sta.

Continually using Observe on his fellow Classmates, Ken quickly came to two conclusions. First, that Uchiha Tora was far and above the best in the class. Second, that he was far and below the worst out of everyone here. Hell, he was the only person below level 3 and only a single person was level 3.

'I'm going to get my ass kicked a bunch, aren't I?' Ken asks himself internally, snagging out a small and thin book from his bag. "So you're a video game character? No problem!" is the title of the book, written in that annoying glittery gold.

'Hmmm, I'll just leave that for later. I don't feel like taking an express trip to T&I over this. I wonder if my Gamer's Mind works against Yamanaka techniques? Then again, I'd have to explain that and considering it's wartime…" Ken shudders a bit, shelving that line of thought for later as he refocuses on Goko who had begun to pace back and forth in front of the class, his hands clasped behind his back.

"I do not condone the pampering of future soldiers. You will not receive blunted shuriken or kunai in my classroom. You will bleed for your failures in handling them. You will learn to be careful and respect the weapons you are given," Goko exclaims in a booming voice, pulling a handful of kunai out faster than Ken's eyes could even track and then whipping them at the class.

For his credit, Ken couldn't do more than blink in surprise as a perfectly good desk was marred with a 'Thunk' as a razor-sharp kunai partially implanted itself inside of his desk. A good number of his classmates let out various screams and a few chairs were tipped over in a useless attempt to dodge as their desks suffered identical fates.

"Grab those Kunai and follow me out to the training field. Those will be your Kunai. There are many like them, but that one is yours. I expect you to graduate from my class holding that kunai," Goko orders forcefully before turning from the shocked class and starting to leave.

Ken shakes himself from his stupor and begins to wiggle and yank at the kunai before him, cursing under his breath as he had to heave at it just to get it to begin to dislodge.

'Cmon, don't tell me I have to invest points just to yank out a fucking kunai. I want to save those, not spend them right away when it'll be easy to grind some early stats,' Ken complains to himself as he places a foot against the desk and leans back for leverage. 'How do you even throw that many kunai that fast so accurately? There's like 40 kids in this class.'

The kunai finally pops from his desk, causing him to overbalance and fall backward with the kunai in tow.

Ping!

For completing a feat of (relative) strength, you have permanently gained 1 Str!

Getting up while rubbing his head slightly and dismissing the popup, Ken looks around to find that everyone except the Nara had already wrenched the kunai from their desk and were in the process of leaving the classroom while chatting excitedly over the upcoming training. Walking over, Ken lightly shoves the Nara kid's shoulder to wake them up. Being greeted with the muffled grumbling of someone who only wants to sleep, Ken knew the Nara was now awake no matter how much he wanted not to be.

"Goko-sensei says that we have to grab the kunai in our desks and meet him at the training field. Everyone else already left and he feels like a real hardass, so..." Ken states blandly, pointing his thumb over his shoulder at the now completely clear exit.

"Troublesome…" mutters the Nara as he lazily but effortlessly yanks out his kunai in a single smooth motion. Staggering to his feet like someone that hasn't slept for days and was just woken up after about half an hour of sleep, the Nara begins to walk his way out of the classroom.

"Am I really less physically fit than a Nara…?" Ken grumbles as he follows after the pineapple-haired youth.

LINE BREAK

Ken's eye twitches in annoyance as he looks over his Recent Quests tab. It turns out that Goko's orders during training can count as valid quests, and they weren't even unreasonable. Things like 'Hit the majority of your kunai throws on a single target' or 'Complete the run in 10 minutes or less' were given out.

The problem is that he failed. Every. Single. One. Ken groans as he lets his head fall back onto the grass, giving a nice 'Thump' noise as it collides with the soft earth.

At least he got some skills from the ordeal.

"Status," Ken grumbles out, perusing his character sheet in disapproval.

Ping!

Name: Utazane Ken

Title: Academy Student

Level: 1 (0.1%)

HP: 75/75

Ckr: 15/15

Sta: 20/20

Stats:

Str: 2

Vit: 2

Dex: 2

Int: 1

Wis: 1

Luk: 1

Points: 20

Skills:

Bukijutsu - Lvl 1 (7.9%)

Observe - Lvl 1 (57.8%)

Sprint - Lvl 1 (78.2%)

Utazane Ken is a 6-year-old clanless orphan whose parents were killed in a routine border patrol turned skirmish at the outbreak of the 3rd Shinobi World War. A year later, he has now finally received approval to attend the Academy after petitioning every month for the past year. Many speculate this is entirely due to hatred of the paperwork he was causing rather than any natural ability he has as a Shinobi. Widely considered absolutely useless.

"Fuck, the class totally thinks I'm a useless waste of space don't they?" Ken grumbles to himself, more annoyed at the thought of actually being as useless as they think rather than the opinion of a bunch of 6-year-old brats. Don't get him wrong, being looked down on by 6-year-olds is annoying, but what's more annoying is being outrun by a Nara.

"...I'm still not investing any points. I gained an entire Vit and Dex point today alone, even though I didn't get a single scrap of XP except for showing up on time," Ken mumbles to himself as he pushes himself back to his feet. Classes were over for today, and Goko gave a not-so-subtle piece of advice that he shouldn't bother showing back up.

'I get tired, and even exhausted, but not for an extended period of time it seems. I felt like I was dying at the end of class, and after a good half an hour of resting I don't feel a bit of it. Staying up as long as I can to train is probably the only way I can reasonably graduate fast," he thinks to himself as he grabs the bag and slings it over his shoulder, rubbing his chin.

"Now… where the fuck was my apartment again?"


A/N

There we go, a nice short 3k chapter as a good intro into the story. I probably did a dumb somewhere in here, but I'm rolling with it damnit. Next chapter comes out next week probably.

Peace

-Taldor