Chapter twenty-five: Under ice
Kate awoke to a sharp sting across her face. "Did," Thomas's yelling was directly above her. "someone call that fuc," Kate groggily reached up and placed a hand on his mouth. He snatched her hand and looked down at her. "Kate? Can you hear me?"
"Yes." She croaked. "Water." Ada hurried over as Kate released a yawn. She gulped the water, remembering how thirsty laudanum made her. Then, she remembered why she didn't take laudanum. "Sorry."
"The ambulance is being called." Kate shook her head at Thomas's statement. His eyes flashed. "Kate, you wouldn't wake up."
She nods. "I know. Sorry. Laudanum makes it," she struggles to sit up, so he gets her into an upright position. "hard for me, to wake up. I forgot that." she inhales and exhaled. "I haven't taken it in years….for that reason." She exhales again as the room swirls into a clearer focus. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."
"Cancel the ambulance!" Arthur hollers down the hall, causing her to look up and realize the entire Shelby family is in her room. "She's alright!"
She rearranges her covers around her. "I'm sorry to worry everyone."
"I wasn't." Polly said as she turned and exited the room. "Knew it wouldn't be that easy to kill you off."
"Get the f**k out, Pol!" Thomas shouted in fury. "I won't tell you again!"
Polly shot him a look before turning stiffly and walking out of the room. Everyone glowers at her, well, everyone except for Ada who's on the other side of her. Ada shoots her a comforting smile. "Glad to see you awake."
"I'm really sorry." She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "I'd honestly forgotten."
"It's alright." Ada says as she fluffs the pillow behind her. "It's not your fault."
"You were out like a light." Arthur states from the hall. "Never seen that before."
"I only put half the recommended dose in the water." She yawns. "I don't know what happened."
"You were a nurse, so," Arthur pondered. "it's unlikely, you'd accidentally overdose yourself."
"You had a major surgery and then drove all the way down here." Ada stated. "I can imagine that yesterday was very exhausting for you, not to mention painful. You need to take it easy."
She moans. "The whiskey. I had whiskey."
Ada nods. "That would do it. Laudanum is potent enough, but adding whiskey. No wonder you went out like a light."
"Still, I've got a doctor coming here in an hour," Thomas stated. "to give you a thorough checkup and make sure you're on the road to recovery."
"Thank you, that's very kind of you."
"You were injured and I need you at the peak of your game." He kneels beside her and gently takes ahold of her hand. "It's a dangerous world you married into."
She nodded. "I'm aware, I used to live in it."
"I want to keep you out of it Kate, as much as I can." He stated.
She nods. "That's comforting, I appreciate that, more than you can know."
"I can." Thomas glances at her for a moment before turning to Ada. "Do you mind leaving us alone for a bit?"
Ada shakes her as she stands up. "Fine." She turns to Kate. "However, I'm only here for a few more days. So, I'll be up in a bit with something for you to eat."
She smiles. "Thanks Ada." They both wait patiently for Ada to leave the room and close the door behind her. "I think I'm going to like her."
"I think so." Thomas sits on the edge of the bed, causing her to inhale. "Sorry."
"It's ok." She assures him. "I'm just a little sore." He glances towards her lap, causing her to shift uncomfortably. "Not there, my chest."
He reached for her hand and to his relief; she didn't pull away from him. "I feel awful about it Kate."
"It was my choice." She inhaled as she rubbed his hand gently. "And under the circumstances, you took your time."
"I want to make it up to you," he states. "but there's no way I can do that. It was your first time and I should have been better to you."
"You don't need to make it up to me." She assures him. "It's alright Thomas."
"You're still my wife Kate. I should have said no to the whole thing and waited until you were ready." She trembled as he cupped her chin between his thumb and finger. "Did I hurt you?"
Kate smile felt wobbly, as she looked him. "No." He shoots her a look that informs her he thinks that she's lying to him. She exhales and smiles at him. "You promised you wouldn't hurt me."
"You're lying." Kate blinks in surprise. "You'd fall on a sword rather than admit your own pain."
"It was….uncomfortable at first, but," she started to blush red. Ugh, damn those piercing, cold blue eyes. "when I asked you about the ring….it made me feel better. It helped because, we both have feelings for each other, which made it feel less forced. I swear, you didn't hurt me."
"I guess I have to take you at your word." He exhales deeply. "I wanted you Kate," his blunt admission causes her cheeks to flame rapidly. "but not like that."
Kate was silent, unsure of what to say for a moment, then she inhales asks just as bluntly. "Thomas, do you love me?" he studies her for a moment then she exhales. "Don't answer that just yet, I don't think I'm ready to hear that anymore than you're ready to say it. but, I do care for you and…in that bed yesterday, in that moment, I wanted you as well."
"Of course I care for you Kate." She smiles at those words. "That's why I want you to tell me whatever it is you need. No matter how big or small."
She bites her lip before all the words come pouring out of her. "I need just some time to heal and reconcile. I've had a lot thrown at me this week. I lost my breast, all of your family almost was killed and I now find myself married when….I never thought I'd ever marry. And then," she inhales sharply as she shakes her head. "I find that my father and brother…betrayed me all those years ago. It's all a bit much to take in for me at the moment."
He nods understandingly. "I'll give you all the time you need."
She bites her lip. "I'm thinking a month or two."
"Take a year if you need it. This room will permanently be your quarters until you're ready to move in with me, if that's all right with you. I'll be right next door if you need me."
"Thank you and," she hesitated before confessing. "I do care for you as well," at the light in his eyes at her words, Kate can barely hold his gaze. "and I do want our marriage to be a real one in time, it's just-
"Now's not the right time." He nods in understanding. "I know that Kate, you've endured a lot. Take your time….I can wait for you."
She holds his gaze. "You won't have to wait too long. I promise."
He smiles at her. "I'll make sure your breakfast is sent up to you." He carefully stands up from the bed. "I've also told Elton and his daughter to collect your things from the cottage and bring them here."
She shakes her head. "Just my clothes and a typewriter. Leave the furnishings, in case you chose to rent the cottage out again."
He chuckles. "I don't think I will, but, I'll leave it furnished, just in case there's ever a day you need to get out of the house."
"Thank you Thomas." As he walked away, Kate also wondered how long it would take the family to trust her. She hoped and prayed that it wouldn't be too long. She'd never had a real family and she wanted to make this one her family.
