Reviews:
LostDragon49: I'd lean towards mentally disturbed.
Master-of-Mythology: ...yep
jaqmaq77; Have you tried my 'Chaos' story? It's quite old and I don't think it's as funny as I intended it to be but a lot of people seem to like it.
matzeztam: I'll be mentioning it again later in the story so don't worry about it, I'm saying this because I actually forgot myself and now have to go back and read through the story and my notes.
Chapter 22 -
"So, let me get this straight," Professor McGonagall took a deep breath before she looked over at Harry, Lisa, and Loki. "you both are claiming that you woke up and found yourselves in a hallway standing opposite Sirius Black, and then you both struck him before running off so that a 'very good looking' trio of heroes in masks could come and beat him up?" Professor McGonagall asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That about covers it, yeah," Harry confirmed with a nod. "though I do feel obligated to point out that trio was 'very, very good looking'." Loki, who was sat on Harry's shoulder, quickly nodded in agreement while Lisa gave Professor McGonagall one quick nod to confirm Harry's statement.
"Is that so?" Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow.
"Pretty much, yeah," Harry smiled. "so...do we get like a big reward or something?" He asked hopefully with a twinkle in his eye.
"I was personally thinking something along the lines of lines in detention plus a points deduction for being out after curfew." Professor McGonagall's lips had become quite thin after she finished speaking, letting the three know that she really wasn't that happy at the moment.
"But we just found ourselves there!" Harry protested as Loki looked at Professor McGonagall with a dropped jaw.
"We should also include lying in your list of things that you should be punished for," Professor McGonagall replied.
"Alright, first of all, that list actually exists, and being untruthful is not even in the top ten," Harry began. "second of all, you have no proof that we're lying."
"So am I supposed to believe that you, Miss Swan, and your familiar suddenly found yourselves fully dressed and in the middle of a random hallway at night time for no apparent reason?" Professor McGonagall asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Actually, Professor, we never said that there wasn't a reason." Lisa pointed out. "We just don't know why."
"Yeah," Harry quickly nodded in agreement. "besides, is it really so out of the realm of realism in a world where dragons and flying brooms exist?" He asked.
"Yeah, plus you can turn a pig into a desk and vice versa," Lisa added.
"Yeah, and you can turn humans into things, and you can turn things into other things and that's all with just one branch of magic. I don't think it's really possible for anything in this world to be impossible." Harry helpfully added. "Come on Professor, have a heart."
"That was some bullshit!" Harry complained as he, Loki, and Lisa left Professor McGonagall's office after being assigned detentions for a week.
"Well, to be fair, we did get caught." Lisa shrugged.
"Yeah, because there was a mass murderer," Harry pointed out. "I mean...I'm good but I can't possibly predict when evil people are going to break in."
"Fair enough," Lisa agreed. "still, what do we do now?"
"Well, I suppose the most logical thing to do is go and find Sirius Black and talk to him," Harry said, earning surprised looks from Loki and Lisa.
"How is that the most logical thing?" She goggled at him with disbelief.
"Because I am not sane," Harry openly admitted. "that's why carpet-bombing Hogwarts is the second most logical thing in my mind. We can find Sirius Black or we can carpet-bomb Hogwarts, take your choice." Lisa stared at him for several long seconds.
"You know, you are not worth half the amount of trouble you cause me." She glared at him.
"I am not hearing a 'no', is that a 'yes'?" Harry grinned at her, in return increased her glare to a level that almost caused Harry to cringe.
"It is quite amazing, honestly," Minister Fudge said as he, Dumbledore, Snape and a couple of aurors all walked towards the room where Sirius Black was supposed to be kept. "a pair of school children capturing Sirius Black of all people. Honestly, Mr Potter will be even more famous."
"Like the brat doesn't have enough attention as it is," Snape mumbled under his breath.
"It is indeed a surprising event," Dumbledore said, agreeing with Fudge. "I assume that you wish to take Mr Black to the Ministry?"
"Yes, I do, I want to get this whole mess over with." Fudge admitted with a tired sigh.
"Please tell me that you are going to hand that scoundrel Black over to the dementors," Snape looked quite hopeful.
"I do plan to," Fudge nodded. "he escaped Azkaban and is a wanted criminal, and he needs to be dealt with and made an example of so that other people don't follow in that horrid man's footsteps."
"I see," Snape hummed, a gleeful look on his face, a look which looked out of place and quite creepy on the pale man's face. "is there any chance that I may watch?" He asked, actually smiling at Fudge.
"I...I beg your pardon?" Fudge looked at him like he had just asked if he could stroke a hippo's tooth. "You...you want to watch..."
"Watch Black get his soul eaten, yes I do," Snape confirmed happily.
"Oh, um...they do say that the dementor's kiss isn't the most pleasurable thing to watch." Fudge pointed out.
"It will be when Black is the one receiving it," Snape said under his breath before he spoke to Fudge. "I am well aware of the reputation behind the dementor's kiss, it is said to be nearly unbearable to witness but I promise you that I will do my best."
"You...are a very disturbing man." Fudge eventually said after taking several moments to find the words that would adequately describe his thoughts without being too insulting, that was honestly the best that he could come up with.
"Ha," The auror behind Fudge snorted. "try and have him teach you potions, then you'll realize how disturbing he is."
"Twenty points from Hufflepuff!" Snape glared at the young auror.
"I don't go to school here anymore, asshole!"
"Enough," Dumbledore interrupted. "as delightful as this conversation may be, I believe it is better that we quickly deal with Sirius Black."
"Ah yes," Fudge quickly agreed with a nod of his head. "excellent suggestion Dumbledore. Let's get this over with, you have him firmly secured, correct?" Fudge asked.
"I do, Minister," Dumbledore replied. "I locked him in a warded room and he has been tied up after being searched thoroughly for weapons, the only thing that we had actually found was a small knife. Even if he somehow escapes his binds he won't be able to escape the room."
"Oh well done, Dumbledore, good man." Fudge complimented him just as they arrived at the room where Sirius Black was supposed to be tied up. "This one, correct?" Fudge asked, pointing to the room.
"Yes, it is," Dumbledore confirmed, drawing his wand along with Snape and the aurors behind them. "now, let's begin." Dumbledore flicked his wand towards the door, a second later the door opened.
"What the fuck?!" Fudge blurted out upon seeing the room, the empty room with not a single person inside. "What is this, Dumbledore?!" Fudge demanded, turning to the older wizard. "You had told us all that Sirius Black was in here, where is he?!"
"Yes, where is he?!" Snape growled. Dumbledore did not immediately respond and instead stared at the room with narrowed eyes.
"How did he..." Dumbledore trailed off and shook his head. "...never mind gentlemen, if he is still in the castle then I can locate him with the castle wards." Dumbledore paused and took a moment to search the wards, a moment later his eyes snapped open and he took a step back before snapping his head towards the others. "I've located him in the great hall!"
"How did he get there?!" Snape gaped at him.
"The kids are in danger!" One auror pointed out.
"We have to get there quickly, full speed, gentlemen!" Dumbledore ordered before he rushed off with the group following behind him.
Eventually, they did arrive at the great hall, once there they stopped upon seeing a most unusual sight.
Sirius Black was sat at the Gryffindor table, sitting on his shoulder was Harry's familiar, Loki, while Harry Potter and his girlfriend sat opposite them. The entire hall was looking at the group, not that they seemed to notice or care, given that they all seemed to be focused on a card trick that Harry was showing Sirius.
"So, is this your card?" Harry asked, pulling a random card from his deck.
"Hmm, ha! No," Sirius answered in a triumphant voice. "it wasn't."
"Oh really?" Harry raised an eyebrow as he put the card back in his deck. "What was your card then?" He asked.
"Well, it was the card that they had named after me, the king of hearts." Sirius grinned at him.
"Oh, now I see, well...it was rather unfair then, how on Earth was I supposed to get that card when it's not even in the deck?" Harry asked, ignoring the way Lisa was smiling at him while shaking her head in amusement.
"What do you mean it's not in the deck?!" Sirius stared at him with disbelief. "I picked it out from the deck."
"Oh yeah? Check the deck then, it's not in there." Harry handed Sirius the cards, the most wanted man in Britain wasted no time and quickly started looking through the cards. A couple of seconds later his look of disbelief had returned and he was now staring at Harry.
"It...it's not there..." Sirius spoke in a confused voice that was barely above a whisper. "...it was there...but now it's not there...but it was there before...but it's not now...how is it not there? I saw it!"
"I think I know where it's gone," Harry said confidently.
"Where?" Sirius asked, leaning forward, giving Harry his full attention.
"I'd guess right around here." Harry reached behind Sirius's ear, his hand twitched and a second later he pulled his hand back to reveal a card in his hand. Sirius gasped and quickly raised a hand and started searching the back of his head in case there was anything else behind his head. "Is this your card?" Harry asked. Sirius stopped his search and stared at the card, which was indeed the king of hearts.
"It is." Sirius breathed, staring in amazement at the card and Harry. "You can do magic!" His voice held no small amount of awe.
"Yeah," Harry said proudly as he put the cards away. "I can."
"Don't encourage him," Lisa sighed. "his ego is big enough as it is."
"How do you know? There's no legal limit to how big a person's ego should be, how would that even be measured anyway?" Harry frowned. "No more than twenty ego-watts or something?"
"You two are just like James and Lily," Sirius said with a happy smile.
"Aurors!" Fudge yelled, causing all of the students in the great hall to now stare at him. "Get him!"
"Wait, he's innocent!" Lisa shouted as she stood up, several people in the hall began protesting the same.
"That's bullshit!" Snape shouted back.
"Language!" Sirius sang with an amused look on his face, causing Snape to glare at him with the hatred of a thousand suns, a glare that only got worse when Sirius continued speaking. "You should wash your mouth out Snivellus."
"Enough," Professor McGonagall said, walking in between Sirius and the aurors with a cage in her hand, inside the cage was a fat rat that was trying to escape. "Mr Black is innocent...I can't believe I just said that." She muttered to herself before speaking to Fudge, Dumbledore and the aurors. She opened the cage with a flick of her wand and levitated the rat out, a second later she hit it with another spell and it transformed into none other than Peter Pettigrew.
"What the..." Fudge trailed off as he looked a the horrible sight of Peter Pettigrew who was bound and gagged a second later by Professor McGonagall.
"Mr Potter brought Black and this rat into the hall, told me that he was innocent and that the rat was actually Peter Pettigrew." Professor McGonagall explained.
"But Harry, how did you know that?" Dumbledore asked.
"Oh, I asked him," Harry answered as he gestured to Sirius.
"Asked him? How?" Dumbledore blinked.
"I sneaked into the room where he was staying." Harry shrugged. "I asked him a couple of questions, found out he was after the rat and where the rat was, took the rat, brought them both here. Simples."
"But...but that room was warded!" Dumbledore gasped. "How did you get in?!"
"Easily," Harry grinned before turning to Fudge. "did you know that Sirius never had a trial?" He asked.
"What?! Of course, he did!" Fudge blurted out.
"Actually, Minister, Sirius swore on his magic and life that he was innocent and never had a trial," Lisa spoke up. "he did it right in front of the whole hall."
"Well...I wouldn't say innocent," Sirius spoke up. "just innocent of the crimes I had been accused of."
"I don't buy it, he's lying, kill him!" Snape said quickly in less than two seconds, impressively quick for the man who normally drawls when he speaks.
"Come now, Minister, surely you wouldn't kill a man who hadn't had a trail, would you?" Lisa asked in a sweet voice. "I'm sure everyone...or at least most people here, would want Sirius to have a trial." Lisa gestured around the hall to all the students and teachers. Fudge blinked and looked around, he saw that everyone was looking at him expectantly, he knew that no matter what he wanted, Sirius Black would have to get a trial if he didn't want the public to eat him alive. The very thought of a pureblood like Black not getting a trial would cause riots, he had to get this dealt with. Thankfully, he could see an out from this situation. He would get Black his trial, and no matter what the results were, he'd blame the old administration. After all, Black was locked up before he had become Minister, plus if Black actually turned out to be innocent then he'd be the Minister who righted a horrible wrong, but if Black wasn't innocent then he'd be the Minister who caught Black.
"An excellent idea, I think," Fudge clapped his hands together, sounding like the whole thing had been his idea from the very beginning. "aurors, take Mr Black into custody."
"Yes sir!" The aurors nodded before heading towards Sirius.
"Are you serious right now?!" Snape snapped at Fudge.
"Nah, that's him." Harry pointed to Sirius who laughed loudly at Harry's joke.
"You stupid, ignorant..." Snape's rant was cut off by a red-faced Fudge.
"Now hold on one minute!" Fudge glared at Snape. "I am the Minister of Magic, boy! And you will not speak to me like that!"
"You think I fear an arrogant politician like yourself?!" Snape snarled.
"Careful, Mr Snape!" Fudge warned. "I should remind you that Dumbledore is the only reason that you aren't in an Azkaban cell with the other death eaters, but even he is not powerful enough to..."
"Oh, you stupid little..."
"Severus!" Dumbledore loudly interrupted, "Perhaps it's best that you return to your room and allow tempers to die down." Dumbledore 'suggested'. Snape glared at Fudge and Sirius before he saw that the students were whispering to each other, the vast majority of them had not known that Snape had nearly gone to Azkaban. Snape growled before he spun around and stormed out of the hall.
"How dare that man talk to me like that?!" Fudge seethed. "What kind of people are you hiring, Dumbledore?!" Fudge demanded. Dumbledore sighed before gesturing Fudge and his aurors to follow him out of the hall so he could calm the Minister down without the student population watching.
"So...I did good?" Harry asked Lisa.
"Hmm," She hummed in a thoughtful manner. "yeah, you did good."
"Cool, good Harry get good kisses?" Harry asked hopefully.
"Hmm...sure."
"Yay!"
A.N: Hi guys, hope you liked the chapter. For those who don't know, I have released the first chapter for a Harry - Venom crossover on pat-reon, I've also released a voting poll to decide the pairing for that story. If anyone was interested then my name on pat-reon is JB21Q. Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a review.