Hogwarts, part deux.
The trip to Hogwarts was marked by so much reading, and trying spells. And enjoying the effects of a cheering draught.
Ron Weasley's little sister came to see him. She seemed very shy, and wrote in an old diary.
"Is that magic?" asked Harry curiously.
"Yes" said ... Ginny "It writes back" she said proudly.
"How much?" asked Harry, cheerfully.
"How much what?"
"How many galleons to buy that off you?" asked Harry "I like the sound of it."
"I wouldn't sell it for… for… a hundred galleons" said little Ginny.
"A hundred and one?" asked Harry.
Ginny blinked in disbelief as Harry gave her a sack of gold. "Approach an older student that's not your brother, and they can get you newer books, robes and stuff from Hogsmeade" said Harry.
"Why'd you buy it?" asked Ginny.
"Because a book that writes back is really cool" said Harry "I bet I can learn a lot from it."
The New Defence professor was even more hopeless. A Smarmy pretty man with no actual skills. Gilderoy Lockheart was going to get special tea. And Harry felt he just about needed cheering draught to endure the night.
It seemed that Professor Gilderoy Lockheart rinsed out his teapot between brews. Unfortunately for Harry. Bastard.
'Tom' who was inside the book labelled T.M. Riddle was happy to tell Harry which books to read, and gave tips on learning spells to 'Dudley Dursley'. A book that writes back is just like a person, with no eyes, so easy to fool. He had some interesting ideas to fix up Gilderoy Lockheart. Impractical though. Tom was better at pretending to be nice than his Aunt, but reminded Harry am awful lot of the voice in his head. He even used the same words sometimes.
Harry always felt a slight urge to use the book, which was therefore clearly cursed; that late night reading last year had made Harry a lot more savvy about cursed magical things than most twelve year-olds.
After Tom seemed to be single-mindedly trying to trick Harry into using the book differently, Harry decided to dob in the book that wrote back… and who better than to than Headmaster Dumbledore.
The Headmaster recoiled at seeing T.M. Riddle on the cover.
"It writes back claiming to be some Tom person" said Harry. "Ginny Weasley had it, but I got it off her. I think it's cursed, I keep wanting to use the thing, and Tom wants to trick me into diving into his memories". Ginny Weasley seemed very happy to have a nice new school uniform and new books.
Headmaster Dumbledore reacted very oddly. He drew his wand, cast a spell sticking Harry to his chair, and conjured up a stone box, that the book went into.
After a few quick spells cast on Harry, the Headmaster relaxed slightly "Harry, you did a great thing, That book was very evil. Tom Riddle was a young orphan who came to Hogwarts in the forties and among other things, got poor Hagrid expelled, blamed for murdering a student with a monster. Tom grew up to be a very bad wizard indeed, and I believe, he thought he was the very Heir of Salazar Slytherin himself."
Harry spent a week reading very old bound copies of the Daily Prophet in the library.
Tom Riddle had won a prize for saving the school. From a death the Headmaster was pretty sure he caused. Lots more reading; and the Chamber of Secrets was mentioned; and grilling Professor Binns was very unsatisfactory; he claimed it was all a fairy story that Salazar Slytherin had made a secret room with a monster. To kill his enemies.
Well, that was too interesting to pass up. Harry had a lot of enemies, well once he knew who they were. A chance conversation by some girls about why the second floor girls bathroom was never used because of Moaning Myrtle, a ghost, had Harry re-reading the old Prophets. Myrtle Warren had died in nineteen forty-three.
Harry went visiting, invisibly.
Myrtle was quite prepared to tell the story of her death.
"Hissing?" asked Harry about the punch-line, as it were.
"Hissing." said the ghostly girl nodding.
Duelling lessons looked really very interesting on the noticeboard.
But Gilderoy Lockheart turned up to teach, with Snape. Snape pasted Lockheart in a duel.
Which was, really awesome. Snape might actually be as cool as he pretended to be. Shame he seemed to hate Harry. He knew lots of great magic, clearly could kick arse, but… hated Harry's guts.
Leaving early to avoid bullying got Harry detention with Filch for a week, courtesy of Snape. He really was a vindictive bastard.
Filch in a moment of extravagance, as Harry cleaned toilets, explained Slytherin house had the snake as a symbol because Slytherin could talk to snakes. And that it was pretty dark magic.
So Harry asked Percy Weasley. Who told Harry all about Parselmouths and Parseltounge, and how you-know-who had been one.
Harry joined some dots, and did an anagram. Tom Marvolo Riddle had been Voldemort, in book form.
Harry had a go at talking to a snake, using a snake summoning charm out by the edge of the forest. It talked back, and was really stupid. Maybe this Parseltounge rubbish wasn't so rare after all, thought Harry. Probably lots of people could do it and didn't say because it got them done for being dark wizards, oh and probably dark witches too. Seemed likely; everything seemed to be propped up with fibs in the magical world. Time for some more cheering draught.
Harry checked the old papers again really carefully, and found out about Tom's graffiti hobby "Enemies of the Heir, beware" in red paint.
Harry pinched paint from Filch while invisible, and used his left hand to paint the same threat on the wall in a quiet, painting free hallway.
Within days, the teachers were all on edge. Harry thought it was a pretty good prank, but he went to see the ghost girl anyway. Professor Lockheart went missing.
He was replaced by Daedelus Diggle again. The rumour was Lockheart had run away.
The tap that didn't work had a snake carved on it. A succession of weird, magical adventures later, and Harry found a locked off underground cave deep below Hogwarts.
Not trusting other people, he was alone at the time.
A really big snake was sleeping there. As big as a bus.
Harry woke it up and rode out on it's head; which was really cool. Riding around the halls at night on the snake, invisible was brilliant. The snake was disappointingly stupid, and didn't remember much. It did say every founder made a special room. Ravenclaw's one was on the seventh floor somewhere, but the snake was so dumb it didn't know where. Gryffindor's special room was apparently the prefect's bathroom. Harry didn't think that was very special. Hufflepuff's special room was, the snake said, in a tower too small for the snake to enter the staircase of. Which ruled out all but the skinniest towers.
The one useful thing the snake did tell Harry was that if there's a locked door, or a snake on a wall, to say open in parseltounge and the door will open. Salazar liked secret passages, apparently, as had all the founders. Harry sympathised. It was very cool, and some secret passages did cool weird things with space; going up one floor to go down two.
Using the death-eyes of the snake to make Draco Malfoy into an ex-student was so satisfying.
Harry put the giant snake away and laid low, as the school was scoured by Aurors, who seemed to be magical police. Apparently Draco's daddy was very, very rich, and very upset, as was his wife, Draco's mum. So upset, they sold a whole lot of people who supported Him down the river to the Aurors. To get revenge on you-know-who apparently.
Harry wondered, as he studied second year magic, at the irony of impersonating his enemy to rid himself of a rich bullying prat, whose parents turned out to be the financial backers of Voldemort's army. And knew where all the bodies were buried, including, salaciously some magical means of resurrecting Voldemort.
That was denied in the next days' newspaper, but Harry realised that killing the army of his enemy, which seemed to have pretty much destroyed itself at the price of one spoilt blond ponce, was not enough. Voldemort might come back. Harry needed to be prepared. More prepared.
Harry asked around… asked Percy Weasley for some tips, and afterwards was abducted by the other two older Weasley's, the twins, who took him on a long trip to an abandoned classroom.
"We think you spend too much time talking to Percy, and none at all having fun. Ginny told mum, who told us what you did for her, so we figure we owe you. We're going to — "
"I'm going to get beaten up, aren't I?" interrupted Harry.
Both twins looked surprised at this. "No, we're going to show you how to get snacks any time from the kitchen" said one. "Crikey. You might have been sorted into Slytherin, but you made it pretty clear you hate those snakey buggers."
"I don't hate them, I just know when I'm not wanted" said Harry. "Can I go?"
"We haven't shown you the kitchen yet" said a twin.
They led Harry all the way to the ground floor, down more stairs, and right. Along a long hallway, with paintings and magically burning torches, and stopped before they got to some massive barrels.
"The Hufflepuff common room is down there" noted a twin.
"You knock on a barrel, the tune is bop bob be bop bop" said the other.
"Here, at the bowl of fruit, you tickle the pear, it turns into a doorknob, and you go in." said the other one.
"The thing to remember, is that the house-elves are very busy, but love work and love helping, so time it carefully, and they'll get you anything, even butterbeer" said a twin.
"What's that?" Harry couldn't help asking.
"Um, you drink it, it's like, imagine pumpkin juice is your everyday drink, butterbeer is for parties" said the same twin curiously.
Harry opened the painting (it was very easy once you knew how) and went in.
The kitchens were huge and had tables in the same layout as the house tables and high table.
"That's how they deliver; using switching charms" said a twin. "We'll get you some butterbeer."
Under the influence of 0.5% butterbeer Harry explained that he lived with his relatives, they didn't want him around, his uncle had had a heart attack and died, and his aunt's sister had been his mum, and a witch.
"Well, now we've introduced you to butterbeer, we probably should sneak you back into the dorms before a prefect, like our Brother gets all shirty about you being a bit young for butterbeer." said a twin.
"Is this being drunk?" asked Harry "It's okay" He felt pleasantly detached from his troubles. Not as good as cheering draught, but easier to get.
"You're just lubricated." said a twin. "Drunk needs stronger stuff."
As a thoughtful Harry was hustled back upstairs towards his second year dorm room he asked "Why were people surprised I got sorted into Slytherin?"
"Well, everyone expected you to go to Gryffindor. Your parents were there, apparently" said a twin "And then well, people kind of expected you to be this really amazing wizard who'd like fight monsters and stuff" said the other one.
"Do you two always take turns?" asked Harry.
"We're in a family of nine, we have to take turns, or we'd never get to speak" said the same twin.
"What, seven children?" asked Harry.
"Yeah, well mum wanted a girl, and Ginny's the first girl born in our Weasley family in generations" said the other twin.
"If I wanted to practice spells, and not wreck a classroom, any ideas where?" asked Harry, passing the third floor and the library.
"There's some older rooms but um, most out-of-the way places get used for snogging" said a twin "And you're a bit young for that."
Harry sneaked into his dorm room and went to sleep, feeling like the Weasley twins were sort-of friendly, though a bit… what was the word? Mature to be good company. Harry felt an odd feeling, like he missed Hermione Granger.
Coincidentally, the next morning there was a pile of letters bound up with a dirty piece of string on Harry's bed. Harry looked at the pile, and they were neatly addressed to him. To Harry Potter.
The back of the pile had a return address. Hermione Granger, Beauxbatons.. Hermione Granger had written Harry more letters, many more of them, and Harry hadn't got them.
Neville, who stammered and seemed to be scared of everything said "Don't handle them, someone's been hiding your mail. You need Professor McGonagall."
Professor McGonagall was surprised when Harry stayed after Transfiguration class and explained.
"The Granger girl?" she asked in a harsh Scottish burr.
"She's… my friend, I think" said Harry. For some reason Professor McGonagall needed to go see the headmaster with Harry's letters. He wondered if he'd ever see them again. Probably not.