"He has no friends, except the Granger girl who went to Beauxbatons after the troll nearly killed her!" yelled Minerva McGonagall at Albus, who was sitting at his desk in a pile of parchment-work.
"I, Ahem, checked on Harry using the Mirror of Erised. He earnestly desires his family, which we know can never be" said the Headmaster, a tear trickling down his cheek "Given the circumstances of his sorting, his lack of friends is not difficult to understand."
"If Slytherin house wasn't such a cess-pool of junior Death Eaters led by Snape, this wouldn't have happened. An ambitious boy from a difficult home could have made friends there" said Minerva.
Albus Dumbledore sighed. "Minerva, what you must know is that Hogwarts had a boy much like Harry, from an orphanage admittedly, who attended in the nineteen forties. I was Transfiguration professor at the time and young Tom Riddle flourished."
"I've never heard of him" said Minerva "What happened?"
"He changed his name to Lord Voldemort and murdered Harry's parents" replied Dumbledore icily. "I fear, If Harry had been welcomed with open arms in Slytherin, he might have gone the same way. This way he is a quiet boy who likes to explore the castle, and does indeed make friends, if slowly."
"Well who stole his mail?" said Minerva, dropping the bundle on the Headmasters' desk with a thump. "The boy misses the girl, and thought she'd only written once."
Albus drew his wand, a white, knobbled wand with berries carved on it and cast a long spell. A flickering image of a wretched house-elf appeared, tying up the bundle.
"A house elf, and not one of ours" said the Headmaster. "Someone was trying to cut the boy off from his friends."
"His friend, Albus. He only has the one as far as I can tell. Percy Weasley sees him as a miniature Percy in the making" said Minerva "I'll see Potter gets his mail."
"What do you see in Harry Potter?" asked Albus tiredly.
"A studious boy, working very hard out of class, If he had any interest in Quidditch, I'd see a younger me" said Minerva, with a trace of a smile.
"I also see Harry as rather a lot like a younger Albus" said the Headmaster "We seem to all see ourselves in Harry Potter" he said and winked.
Harry discovered Hermione Granger had written to him in the new term, and again and again, slowly losing hope that Harry would reply, her last letter, at the back of the stack was simply
"Harry, Sorry to have bothered you with letters. Hermione Granger."
Harry cried where nobody could see him behind his bed-curtains, then got a quill and ink and wrote Hermione a letter
'Dear Hermione Granger,' Harry wrote, because he was fairly sure letters start with dear.
'I'm sorry I could not reply but a house-elf had been stealing my mail from you until today.
I have missed having you around. I think of you as my friend.'
Harry's stupid eyes teared up again, but he persevered.
'I would gladly be your pen-friend,
Harry Potter.'
He sealed up the letter with a bit of candle-wax and went to ask Percy how to send it.
"Beauxbatons, oh, the muggle-born girl that ran away" said Percy.
"She nearly died" corrected Harry crossly. "The troll."
"Oh, is that why?" said Percy "I didn't notice. You'll need to have it taken to the owl-post office in Hogsmeade, it'll cost, well probably a lot. Sickle and Sickles."
Harry found the friendlier Weasley twins in the corner, hunched over parchment, conspiring.
"I've got a letter to post" said Harry "To France. You two can go to Hogsmeade, right?"
"Indeed" said a twin.
"Here's a galleon, keep the change" said Harry handing over a coin, "Hermione Granger, the girl that the troll nearly killed, we used to study together, and she was writing me letters. Some house-elf, not one of Hogwarts ones, had been stealing my mail."
"They grow up so fast." said a twin "His first butterbeer this week, and now he's got a French Girlfriend."
"Ooh La La" said the other one. "Sure Harry. There'll be a lot of change, can you afford it?"
"My parents left me lots of money" said Harry "Money's not a parent though."
Feeling quite … upset Harry took some more cheering draught from the bottle in his trunk.
Harry was thinking about the whole giant snake thing. It was a huge liability really as Voldemort could tell it what to do just as easily as Harry. Maybe Harry Potter, boy hero needed to slay a snake.
'Harry and a sword killing giant snake, that looks good right?' He thought.
Harry did rather need a sword to make this look convincing. He could probably poison the snake, but it was huge and might go wild. Sword though the brain; he'd get it to bite the sword; it was really very stupid, and totally obedient.
Hogwarts, A History proved an invaluable resource. And nobody ever read the copies in the library. Godric Gryffindor had a sword, which was rumoured to be magical, and come to the aid of a true Gryffindor in need. Harry thought that, if he could find it, that would be the cherry on top.
He asked the snake where Godric Gryffindor's sword was. "In the hat" it hissed.
Of course, you hide a magic sword in a hat. The Sorting Hat, no Harry couldn't risk revenge on the Sorting Hat, the damn thing could talk, and if he failed he'd be punished.
Harry opened the Headmasters' office by telling it to "$open$". It was dead easy really.
The grotesque leapt to the side and bowed. Harry rode up a spinning spiral staircase, which Gryffindor Tower really could do with, he thought, and opened the office door with another "$open$."
"Hey Sorting Hat, I need the sword to fight Slytherins monster" said Harry to the hat.
The Hat, on the shelf coughed "You want what!" it asked.
"The sword. It's a big snake, I need a magic sword. Cough it up" asked Harry jokingly.
"Reach inside me" said the Hat "I'm surprised you're doing it, but you did have a lot of Bravery."
"But you put me in Slytherin" asked Harry curiously.
"Well, to make you greater. If you'd complained, I'd have put you in Gryffindor" said the Hat.
"I did complain" retorted Harry.
"You have to complain before you take me off" explained the Hat "Well, go on, get the sword out, be sure to clean it before putting it back in."
"Er, okay" said Harry, and reached inside the sorting hat. His hand found a thick metal handle.
Harry pulled out a silvery sword, with three rubies the size of hens eggs, one on each crossbar, and one on the hilt. It was awkwardly heavy.
"You're a bit smaller than the average Gryffindor using it" said the Hat "Remember, clean it before putting it back inside me."
"Righty-o" said Harry, and went off, putting on his invisibility cloak once he was out of the Headmasters office.
Harry rode the Snake up the tunnel once last time, and stepped off onto the bathroom floor.
No sign of the ghost girl, but just in case, Harry was still invisible.
"Open your mouth" Harry commanded.
The Basilisk had a mouth full of teeth, unlike any snake Harry had ever seen. He'd only seen two, so really he guessed, it was probably a Basilisk thing.
Harry held the heavy sword point up in the snakes mouth, tip just about touching the pink roof of it's mouth. The mouth was so big, Harry could easily have fit inside. That, considering his next command would have been a bad idea.
"Bite down" hissed Harry.
The jaw pushed the sword up into the brain of the snake. It went in like, like a hot knife though butter. Then the giant snake started to thrash around in what Harry really hoped, where it's death-throes.
He got his arm out, but felt something, one of the hundreds of teeth cutting into his arm. Bother.
Harry ran out of the bathroom, his arm dripping with blood. The thumping sounds of thrashing dying giant snake continued.
Harry ran in the general direction of the Infirmary, holding his arm. He felt a burning feeling in his… was that his blood that was burning? That can't be good.
Harry woke up lying on his back, looking at white ceiling that smelt of disinfectant. The infirmary.
"Ow" Harry said. He hurt… in his blood. How is that even possible, he wondered.
"Oh Mister Potter, you're awake!" said Madam Pomfrey, all in white robes, and she walked over very quickly and put Harry's glasses on him quite gently.
"You're a very lucky boy, Mister Potter. If the prefect hadn't found you on the stairs, you would probably have died." she said.
Harry felt very lucky.
"When it turned out to be a snake bite, well I had a bottle of Basilisk venom antidote from the ah, aftermath of young Mister Malfoy's death. Once we got that in you, you started to come around. There was one problem, but you'll be fine."
"A problem?" asked Harry. "My blood hurts."
"Well, that too, your blood vessels and heart have been damaged by Basilisk Venom. You probably will die a bit younger than you would have. The problem was that the venom had time to act on your right arm, and we had to amputate" said Madam Pomfrey.
"Amputate?" asked Harry "What does that mean?"
"I had to er, cut your arm off, so the poison didn't kill you" said Madam Pomfrey.
"I was using that" said Harry, feeling very odd all of a sudden. Like he was going to faint, but he was already lying down.
"Don't worry, we can grow it back, only take a few weeks!" said Madam Pomfrey.
Harry was not particularly comforted by that.
The tiny baby arm that grew looked extremely silly.
'Boy who lived saves Hogwarts from Slytherin's monster!' was the entire front page of the Daily Prophet.
Harry felt a little guilty about Malfoy, but not very. And the Death Eaters had been pretty much rounded up, so that was good. After all, he'd lost an arm. And the thing about dying younger, though it seemed, compared to his arm, a minor sort of thing.
Harry was given copies of Blaise Zabini's notes until his arm grew big enough.
Three weeks later his arm was big enough to write.
Harry ended the year with an award for special services to the school. His arms were nearly both the same size.
The whole school had stood up and applauded. Everyone, even Slytherin house. Professor Snape looked like he wanted to bite his own hands off, but even he was clapping.
On the train, he realised, with time to reflect on it that the dying younger thing was a pretty big deal. He was going to have to be sure to get all his getting-revenge done in time to enjoy however long he had left.
All the way back to London people came in and thanked Harry for saving them. It got awkward really quickly.
Though, the well-wishers bought Harry so many sweets and snacks his trunk was packed tight when he got off the train. He took the British Rail commuter train back to Little Whinging.
Harry gave Dudley some of the sweets he didn't like so much. Like the blood pops and acid pops.
Dudley didn't like them either, but took some to force-feed the neighbourhood kids.
As long as it wasn't Harry, he didn't care.
Harry got a lot of mail that summer. Ridiculous numbers of owls every day and night. Mostly letters from Parents thanking Harry for saving their children, and a lot of letters from children, saying thank-you very formally.
He got another letter for Hermione, who'd read the Daily Prophet. She was angry Harry had gotten himself injured "If I'd been there, I'd have stopped you" she wrote. And gave her ordinary mail address in Chissock for mail over summer.
Harry also got a letter from Gringotts bank, saying he had nine thousand, four hundred and two galleons, eleven sickles and eight knuts. And indicating that this was an annual statement. And that the bank vault cost ten galleons a year.
Harry got his exam results during summer, already having finished his homework.
The book list was different, and he had optional classes.
He didn't know what to choose, so he wrote a letter asking Hermione. She did have a lot of opinions.
On the back of his book list was another letter in loopy handwriting.
'Mister Harry Potter,
Given your good standing with the entire school,
Your temporary arrangement of rooming and sitting with the Gryffindors is now over.
You will be expected to take your meals at the Slytherin table,
Sleep in the Slytherin boys third year dormitory,
and attend classes with the Slytherins, as you have been.
A.W.P.B Dumbledore
Headmaster.'
The handwriting matched the anonymous Christmas present. Definitely Dumbledore.
Aunt Petunia was looking less sad these says and said to Harry "The forty pounds a week to look after you is very handy. Have forty, go get your bloody books."
Harry felt that was an improvement.
Hermione sent him a second letter with a phone number, and said he should take all of those classes, and Greek and Latin and Sumerian and Chinese.
Which was odd, because they weren't classes on the list.
He gingerly telephoned Hermione.
"Granger residence" said someone who might be a Hermione. She sounded very posh.
"Harry Potter calling, I'd like to speak to Hermione?" Harry asked.
"Oh Harry!" said Hermione, and she prattled on for about four hours.
"We should meet up" said Hermione, as Harry's ear ached from the headset and his arm form holding it.
Harry didn't know how to do that, and explained.
"Oh Dad can come get you on a weekend!" said Hermione.
And that led to spending the weekend at Hermione's parents rather posh thirties tudor-looking house in Chissock. Hermione had talked at him all the way back to Chissock in the BMW, and non-stop except for meals.
Harry explained that yes, he had killed a giant snake, and had his arm amputated and grown back.
The Grangers argued Harry should go to a safer school, like Beauxbatons. Harry explained about his Aunt, money being a bit short at home, and his parents having put him on the list for Hogwarts before he was born.
They awkwardly offered to "top up" his school fees.
Harry finally explained that he was, ahem, a trouble magnet, with the Death Eaters, and Voldemort.
"Who will come back to attack me" said Harry "He rigged up something to not really die, apparently. It's all a mystery."
Hermione had kept that copy of the Daily Prophet too, and showed her parents proudly.
It was a nice holiday. The Grangers were dubious about the wisdom of continuing to go to Hogwarts.
He went back to Surrey re-energised anyway. Maybe that was what having friends was like. It was like a cheering draught without the potion.
The Weasleys were in the Daily Prophet, they'd won the Prophet's Galleon prize draw, about seven hundred galleons and gone to Egypt to visit their eldest son, Bill, who was a curse-breaker at Gringotts; whatever that meant. Ron's Rat was sitting on Ron's shoulder. A useless pet, it never did anything but eat and sleep, and crap. It was very good at using it's litter-box though.
Harry took the train to London and bought all the textbooks, and language books as recommended by Hermione. Including French. "It's not that hard" she said.
He read the first chapter of all of them, and tried to read tea-leaves. Tessomancy.
According to the chart Harry was about to meet a grim, a Harbinger of death.
The tarot cards said Harry would see betrayal, a tower, and flight.
The I-Ching said a hidden enemy would betray Harry, in the year of the Rat.
Harry checked and that wasn't till ninety-six, so he mentally shelved that.
Harry took a look at palmistry, saw he had a short life-line, that then continued and Harry gave that up as rubbish too.
And using a second cup of tea came out with 'beware the moon' and Harry had to pee.
The crystal ball showed nothing but fog, so that was fifteen galleons gone west.
Harry figured divination was a load of rot, but the book was pretty basic, it would be an easy Exceeds Expectations.
Arithmancy reminded Harry of primary school maths. He'd liked that well enough.
Care of Magical Creatures had a big textbook full of, well magical creatures and how to look after them. Kind of neat really. Looked like fun, though some looked dangerous.
Ancient Runes was funny shaped writing. And three different kinds. It was cool, and apparently later on would make permanent magic. That had Harry interested.
Latin was weird. Greek was less weird but the letters were all funny. Sumerian was another kind of Runes, and Chinese was unbelievably complicated. Just to read.
Harry went and got a muggle cassette tape lessons thing for Latin, French and Greek.
French and Latin had something in common. Sort of.
Harry spent the summer trying to learn three languages.
Hermione's letters were derisive of Harry's language learning.
Harry telephoned one more time and Hermione spoke French. It was weird and confusing.
Hermione laughed at him.
"Well you're getting a rubbish Christmas present" said Harry jokingly.
Hermione said that there was actually magic for learning languages but it cost ludicrous sums. She'd asked on her first day at Beauxbatons.
Harry went to Diagon Alley and made inquiries. Five hundred galleons per language. Harry thought about nine thousand, needing to last till Harry was old enough to get a job. Five hundred was… just too many galleons.
Aunt Petunia signed the form for Hogsmeade trips. She looked at the Insurance policy an awful lot.
Uncle Vernon's other life insurance finally paid out and the Mortgage, whatever that was, was paid off. Aunt Petunia seemed to relax a bit at that.