Going for gold.
A few days later Harry had an owl land on his place at dinner. He opened the note it carried. It was from the headmaster, judging by the loopy handwriting.
'My office, seven pm, I am very partial to gooseberry fool A...D'
Harry eyed the note, shooed the owl away and cleaned his plate with a 'scourgfiy.' He took the serving spoon and started piling potatoes on his plate.
"What was that?" asked Zabini.
"More time with our great Headmaster." said Harry. "Lucky me."
-==0==-
Professor Dumbledore was sitting at is desk doing paperwork. Harry closed the door behind him.
"Hello Sir" said Harry, carefully thinking about potatoes. Only potatoes.
"Ah, Mr Potter" said Professor Dumbledore "I've got a little field trip to take, and I thought you might come along."
"More Riddle business?" asked Harry.
"Very much so. Well, Gaunt anyway" said Professor Dumbledore "Given your successes in our last trip, I think you'll perform admirably as backup. Now do try not to use dark magic Harry. It stains your very soul."
Harry nodded, trying to think of potatoes, and not… something else; a vague memory of a horrible taste, and a feeling of immense disgust.
"Are we taking Fawkes again?" asked Harry.
"That's a capital idea" said Professor Dumbledore "Fawkes, there may be some snakes at out destination. Smaller ones…. Suitable for a meal for an enterprising sort of Phoenix?"
"Prawk" went Fawkes from its perch.
"You've had dinner and don't feel hungry?" asked Dumbledore.
"Prawk" repeated Fawkes.
"I see" said Professor Dumbledore "Fawkes feels sleepy. We'll have to portkey."
-==0==-
Harry eyed the tin box, lying under the ruins of the floorboards. "Won't this be cursed?" asked Harry. "Voldemort likes cursing things."
Professor Dumbledore cast some more spells, then cast one to open the box. There was a golden ring with a dull black stone set in it; and Professor Dumbledore reached towards it eagerly.
Harry cast a seize-and-pull charm on the ring and it shot out of the box towards Harry; he jabbed with his ring and threaded the ring onto his wand with a tinkle.
"Harry!" exclaimed Professor Dumbledore "I must have the ring"
"Are you completely senile"? Asked Harry "It's cursed you geriatric idiot!"
Professor Dumbledore drew himself up and blinked "Oh" he said quietly, and pointed his wand at himself and cast something. "Well" said Professor Dumbledore, shivering "That was quick thinking, Harry. Rude, but effective."
"I saw a bit in curses of the world, that compulsion charms can be broken by causing a change of mood." said Harry.
-==0==-
Harry was eating bacon for breakfast when Professor Dumbledore said "And fifty points to Harry Potter, for common sense in a trying situation, that saved a…. geriatric wizard from a horrible curse."
-==0==-
Harry was nearly done with a particularly troublesome Transfiguration essay, when Biggs, the seventh year prefect came over and tapped Harry on the shoulder. "Potter, you've got an appointment with the headmaster. The password will be Lemon Lobsters."
...
"Well as Tom created another Horcrux, we're going to use a soul-jar to hold the soul from the snake" said Professor Dumbledore.
"Hold it?" asked Harry "Don't we want him to erm… sod off?"
"Well I'm not sure" explained Professor Dumbledore. "If we remove the last soul anchor, does he die, or just float around as a wraith. My theory is that if we remove the horcrux from the snake, and put it back into a body, we can kill Tom Riddle one last time, confident that he goes on to the next big adventure… and leaves the world forever."
Harry stared at Professor Dumbledore. Who'd just espoused resurrecting Voldemort. Again. Harry had a bad feeling he knew why he was really coming along for the ride.
"Won't we need flesh of the servant. Freely given?" asked Harry.
Professor Dumbledore nodded "Ah, you know that ritual. " He frowned at Harry "Technically the snake is a servant."
"Does dead count?" asked Harry "As freely?"
"That's a risk I'm willing to take with Tom's body" said Professor Dumbledore.
Harry couldn't hold in a snort. "His dad's bones?"
"The Riddles are buried in the graveyard, conveniently just down the hill."
"You did them in this order on purpose" said Harry.
"Yes" said Professor Dumbledore evenly "And I have an ulterior motive. We'll have to see how things turn out."
That didn't really sound very reassuring to Harry.
With that, Professor Dumbledore waved his wand to opened the front door, and headed into the house, wand drawn.
Harry followed and saw movement in the corner of the front hall, and fired off a blasting curse- the rat he'd fired at spavined against the wall.
Down the stairs from above came a very large green snake bigger than a fire-hose but smaller than a basilisk, with it's mouth open. Decently big fangs, no venom dripping, noted Harry's brain.
Professor Dumbledore, rather than just exploding it, cast something tricky that wrapped it up in a glowing ball in mid-air.
"Harry could you pop off a quick homimum revelio?" asked Professor Dumbledore.
Harry did, and didn't feel like there was anyone around.
"What about the trace?" asked Harry.
"Oh, I think you'll be all right tonight. I've told the trace office to ignore you today" said Professor Dumbledore, sounding tense. That sounded quite illegal, thought Harry cheerily.
There was a convenient potions lab in the kitchen, with an immense cauldron.
"Given that Tom wanted to make a new body, we're in a good position to make him one" said Professor Dumbledore, checking an open, if dusty spell-book.
Hours of potions prep ensued. Many ingredient, that there were already large piles of. The large cauldron filled up with a white liquid.
Professor Dumbledore took an odd crystal vase in a gold mount out of his robe pocket and set it on the floor; it's lid popped open. The snake in the glowing ball lowered onto the vase, and Professor Dumbledore fired fiery chains onto the snake-ball; and the snake's head came off in a gout of blood. The vase filled with grey smoke, and the lid snapped shut.
"Soul jar" said Professor Dumbledore "Borrowed from a certain obscure Ministry department."
The glowing ball stopped, and Professor Dumbledore very clearly swish and flicked the snake into the cauldron. It dissolved.
"And now, a bone from Tom's father" said Professor Dumbledore; and 'Accio Thomas Riddles' thigh-bone' had a cloud of white dust shot into the keyhole, and with a snappy twist of his wand, Professor Dumbledore dropped the bone-dust into the cauldron.
"Harry, "I'll need ot take a vial of blood from you" said Professor Dumbledore.
"Blood?" asked Harry.
And a vial flew out of Dumbledore's pocket and bit Harry like a mosquito. "Ow!" he yelped, and slapped at it.
The vial flew back to Professor Dumbleodre's hand.
"And now, Harry, when Tom stands up, if you'd cast something that will kill him?" asked Professor Dumbledore "There is a prophecy to satisfy, after all.
"Hmm" said Harry "An Aramaic curse, perhaps?" he mused.
Professor Dumbledore glared at Harry "Harry, you'd need to have such a boundless well of hate, an intent for Tom to die. I'm not sure you could manage that; nor do I want you to try."
"Well" said Harry drily "I don't think the well of hate's a problem. Given the trouble Tom's caused, you know the bit where he killed my family. I think I'll take the risk."
"Harry, no. You have a wide repertoire of spells. You can use something that's not unforgivable!" said Professor Dumbledore.
"I'll use what I can get to work" said Harry "He has no wand, you can block his wandless magic?"
"Toms a legelimens, He will be able to see into your mind" said Professor Dumbledore.
"Well, good thing my mind's pretty spotless" said Harry "I've been clearing my mind for ages."
Professor Dumbledore looked at Harry with a deep frown "Don't be flippant Harry, your basic occulamancy will be no match for Toms legelimancy. You need to cast as soon as he stands up."
"Fine. I'll use an overpowered severing charm" lied Harry.
Professor Dumbledore nodded. "That will do very well" he said "Be very careful Harry."
Harry drew his wand and took up a ready pose, side-on to the cauldron, and nodded.
With that, Professor Dumbledore poured the vial of Harry's blood into the huge, glowing cauldron and stepped back, wand draw.
There was gout of white smoke or steam, a glowing light and someone tall, very pale, hairless and thin stood up.
"I live again!" came Voldemort's high pitched voice.
"Avada Kedavra" said Harry, and the green bolt of the killing curse hit the freshly resurrected Voldemort, and he topped out of the cauldron, naked and fell, arse-up unto the stones of the kitchen floor. Harry felt extremely smug, and rather vindicated.
"HARRY!" said Professor Dumbledore "I told you not to use that"
"It worked" said Harry. "And it's symmetrical."
Something moved in the cauldron.
Someone lifted their dark head out the cauldron, and coughed, and partly stood, arms braced on the sides, someone with long dark hair and breasts.
Harry felt confused. Why was there a second body?
"What's your name, Miss?" asked Professor Dumbledore.
"Li Nagini" said the old Chinese woman, cowering in the cauldron.
"Ah… it worked" said Dumbledore opaquely.
"That's Tom" said … Miss Nagini, pointing at the dead white corpse, it's buttocks in the air. "He my friend…. I think he my friend. I got sick."
"Yes" said Professor Dumbledore "My friend Newton Scamander met you, Paris, I think? British chap, Ginger hair, glasses, pointy chin. Lots of animals."
"The gwailo" said Miss Nagini "He was nice to me."
"Well Newton remembered you" said Professor Dumbledore "I don't want to brag, but I believe I've cured your ailment. Assuming you were a Maledictus, my dear?"
Miss Nagnini nodded "It got harder and harder to change back … then I couldn't and I don't remember. I remember Tom. He kept me warm."
Harry looked at Tom Riddles dead arse. He'd had a friend? Who was tagging along inside the snake somehow.
"How did two people come out of one resurrection cauldron?" asked Harry.
"Ah, Harry, you see, Miss Li was already in the cauldron. In a manner of speaking. She had the terrible misfortune to be cursed, or born as a Maledictus."
"A what?" asked Harry.
"It's an obscure curse that afflicts only witches. They start out being able to turn into an animal; much like an Animagus with limitations that vary… but as the curse progresses, they lose the ability to change back, and die as their animal form, having lost heir human mind."
"I only turn at night" said Miss Nagini "Then.. snake all day some days… and then… I wake up in cauldron. Tom died?"
"Tom, unfortunately decided to embrace the darkest of dark arts." said Professor Dumbledore.
Miss Nagini sighed "He was a good kisser." she said, nodding, and looking at Tom Ridddle's bare bum. Harry felt his face reddening with embarrassed, and rummaged in a drawer, finding a tablecloth to throw over Tom's bum.
"Harry, Miss Li is naked" said Professor Dumbledore unhelpfully.
She was hiding in the cauldron, and Harry ransacked the drawer, discarding napkins, finally finding another tablecloth and handing it over to the wet witch.
Harry turned his back.
"There you go" said Professor Dumbledore, and Harry turned. Miss Li had climbed out of the cauldron, and was wearing a green paisley dress that Harry assumed had been transfigured from the tablecloth. While Harry waited, Professor Dumbledore summoned some of the napkins Harry had thrown aside and transfigured them into tall slippers; which Miss Li put on and smiled "Cold Feet. So good to have feet again." she said, then looked at the tablecloth covering Voldemort's body "Poor Tom." she said.
Professor Dumbledore jabbed his wand at one of the kitchen tables, twisted his wand about and the table folded up into a coffin. With another flick, Voldemort's corpse lifted into the air, spun around, winding up in the tablecloth like a winding-sheet, and gently landed in the coffin. Professor Dumbledore's wand twisted, and one of the chairs flattened into a coffin-lid and slipped onto the coffin.
Miss Li shivered "It's cold. Where are we?"
"York, England in very early spring" said Professor Dumbledore "Accio warm coat!"
Nothing happened. Harry was about to make a smart remark, when a fur coat shot into the room from down the hall and landed in Professor Dumbleodre's hands.
"This may help" said Professor Dumbledore "I believe it was probably Tom's grandmother's coat."
He held the coat out tot Miss Li and she put examined it "Good quality mink" she said, and slipped it on and did it up "Thank you."
"I think Tom would be very pleased that you were warm" said Professor Dumbledore.
"What will I do now?" asked Miss Li.
"Well, anything you want. If you wished to learn anything, I do run Hogwarts school for witchcraft and wizardry, and I'm sure we could make room for you" said Professor Dumbledore.
"I would very much like to study Astronomy" said Miss Li "I've never seen the stars with human eyes."
Professor Dumbledore nodded "That will be no problem whatsoever, and we have many spare suites for staff."
Miss Li nodded. "I have no things. Just this coat."
"Well, we'll have to take poor Tom to the Ministry," said Professor Dumbledore "I suspect Tom's nearest relatives will be happy for you to have his grandmother's clothes. She certainly had a nice coat."
Harry ended up holding one handle of Tom Riddle's coffin while Miss Li and Dumbledore held one each, and then Professor Dumbledore tapped the coffin with his wand "Portus!"
Harry felt the strange hook under his navel sensation and they were off in a spinning whirlpool of colours. He landed, some time later, dizzy, on the floor of the Atrium of the Ministry of magic.
An Auror dashed over.
"Ah Hestia" said Professor Dumbledore "We need to see Amelia Bones. We're here to report a death."
Harry helped direct the levitating coffin to the lifts, to level two, DMLE, and to the office of a grey haired witch, who took notes and sighed. "So this is Tom Riddle. Who was never found dead?"
Professor Dumbledore lifted the lid off the coffin, and unwrapped the tablecloth a bit "Tom." he said. "Miss Li knew Tom many years ago. She can vouch for him."
"That Tom" said Miss Li.
"I recognise him too" said Harry. "Dementors let me see him. From when he killed my mum."
Amelia Bones's head turned slowly to bear on him "The Dementors gave you visions of… that's ghastly."
"Well I know what my mum looked like, and I know her voice" said Harry, and his stupid eyes watered a little.
"Well" said Amelia Bones "Can we ID his wand?"
Harry slipped Voldemort's wand onto her desk "His wand" said Harry.
"Oh" said Amelia Bones. "I'll get some photos…"
She also sent a secretary out, who brought a tea-tray and some sandwiches. Miss Li ate voraciously and sipped the tea, then pinched her nose shut and drank it. "Gweilo tea" she complained.
A DMLE photographer came and took Voldmeort's photo, and Madam Bones cast a spell on the wand; "Yew and Phoenix feather, fourteen inches." She looked at Dumbledore "Albus?"
"That is Tom Riddle's wand, yes" said Professor Dumbledore.
Several cups of tea and a few forms filled in later, Harry, Miss Li, Professor Dumbledore and a crowd of Aurors took the lift down to level Nine, and went through a black door at the ned of along black-tiled corridor.
They had entered a weird round room, with torches on the walls and many doors, and a grey-robed figure was waiting for them, with a hood the hid their face.
"Chief Warlock" said the figure. "And friends?"
"We're here to send Tom Marvolo Riddle through the veil" said Professor Dumbledore "I would rather not have to argue that we do it now, and not wait for your department to do… whatever it does?"
The figure stood silently for a long time "Fine" they said, and turned, walked to an unmarked door, and opened it. The door led into a dark, cavernous amphitheatre, with a strange, tumbledown stone arch in the middle, on a roughly made stone platform, that looked like the ruins of some other building.
"This is your health and safety briefing" said the cloaked person "Do not listen to the voices you hear from beyond the veil. Do not walk through the arch. If you do so, you will die."
And with that they walked into the room.
As Harry got closer to the platform, he could see a tattered black curtain hanging in the arch, blowing in an unseen wind. He heard faint voices from the direction of the arch.
The aurors levitated the coffin into the room, and over to the arch.
Professor Dumbledore stood on the platform and said "We commend Tom Marvolo Riddle to the veil of death. He's dead, but one can never be too careful"
With that, the coffin pushed the tattered curtain aside and faded, becoming ghostly and vanishing into the arch.
Professor Dumbledore immediately left the platform, seized Harry and Miss Li firmly but gently by an arm apiece, and herded them out of room, into the round room with many doors.
They left the ministry by floo, back to Professor Dumbledore's office, where Professor Dumbledore got a form out of his pocket and unfolded it on his desk.
"Harry, would you please sign this?" asked Professor Dumbledore "Just a formality."
Harry read the form carefully.
The title of the form was 'Acknowledgment of receipt of inheritance'
The strange part was that the 'Deceased Party' was Tom Marvolo Riddle' and Harry's name was on the form as 'Next of kin.'
"I'm related to him?" asked Harry.
"It's distant and complicated, but for reasons we don't need to discuss tonight… yes." said Professor Dumbledore, picking up a quill and blank parchment and writing a short letter.
'I Harry James Potter, authorize my agent, Albus Dumbledore to disperse certain effects to friends of my family member, Tom Marvolo Riddle.'
"Sign in please Harry, so Miss Li can have Tom's grandmother's things." said Professor Dumbledore. Harry took the nearest quill and added
'I Harry James Potter, authorise my agent, Albus Dumbledore to disperse certain effects to friends of my family member, Tom Marvolo Riddle. To whit: Tom Riddles's grandmother's effects, to Miss –'
"What's your proper name?" asked Harry ot Miss Li.
"Li Nagini." she said, and seeing Harry's confusion she said "My family name is Li – my name is Nagnini."
Harry completed the letter , signed it and handed it to Professor Dumbledore "Now… I've got a transfiguration essay to finish."
"Well, toddle off" said Professor Dumbledore "Miss Li and I will go collect some clothes, and I'll find her a nice warm room in the Professor's suites"