Personal Log
by
grenouille
Disclaimer: Sadly, all rights to this universe are the property of Paramount and, presumably, Gene's and Majel's estates. Oh, yeah, and all of the many other industries who have benefitted from Star Trek. May The Great Bird of the Galaxy forgive me for beaming into his world and corrupting his characters.
A/N: I need to apologize for my extended absence and thank everyone who has continued to read and review all these years. The RL issues that have plagued me and my family have been mostly resolved; admittedly not in a way that we would have preferred, but life must go on. For the gory details, feel free to peruse my FFN profile.
I need to thank my good friend, Vern (aka Herman Tumbleweed), for not only all his efforts into knocking my Federation Standard into shape, but for his support during these times. Without said help, this would be much less readable and I may have become even less stable than I already am. Don't forget to go look and see where his mind has wandered off to, as well.
(Beta Note: This mind continues to wander afar; and I've only done as one friend should do for another.)
Ambassador Spock
An elderly Vulcan rose slowly from his meditation stone. Stretching his age-stiffened muscles, he approached his neat desk which was situated in the corner of his rather Spartan quarters on New Vulcan and sat at what was, for him, an antiquated computer console.
"Personal Log, Stardate 2259.75 It has been just over one year since I appeared 129 years in the past to witness the destruction of my homeworld at the hands of Nero. It has been good to be able to see Father again, although I am saddened that I was unable to see Mother. Seeing my younger self – and my old friends – has been curiously satisfying.
"I sometimes wonder why I still do these logs as it has been many decades since I retired from Starfleet, and the Diplomatic Corps does not require them. Perhaps Dr. McCoy – the one from my own timeline, of course – was correct all those years ago in saying that it is a healthy way to maintain emotional equilibrium. Of course, it is now impossible for him to say 'I told you so', although I have no doubt that it would give him great pleasure to do so.
"It is very satisfying to see the new colony growing as well as it has. I am pleased that I was able to recall this planet as it was only discovered a year before I came back and was in disputed territory with the Romulan Star Empire. Fortunately, this area is not yet in dispute and is now unlikely to ever be. It is perfect for our needs as the environmental factors are nearly identical to those of Vulcan, including the orbital and rotational periods.
"I am prepared to leave for a series of meetings between the Federation and members of the Romulan High Command. It was fortuitous that Father, at my urging, was able to convince the Federation Council to report the events of Nero's incursion into this timeline to the Empire. There is hope that this can prevent the animosity that existed between us for so long. Warning them of the upcoming supernova, and possibly helping them to prepare for it will, hopefully, go a long way to promoting peace. Unfortunately, the Romulans are a suspicious race and will be looking closely for any duplicity. My experiences with them will give us an advantage that these same people would not have had had I not been here.
"Of course, this meeting would not be happening at all had the events surrounding my arrival not occurred. It should be fascinating to see how history now unfolds. I am in a unique position to be able to see this and compare this new timeline to what I have already lived through. I have faith, however, that my and my friends' younger counterparts will once again play a major role in what is to come. They would not be the people they are otherwise. It is as if Destiny has brought them together for some Grand Purpose, as it seemed it did in my time.
"I have closely followed their exploits to date and am glad to see that they have been as successful and influential as we were. I feel a certain pride, undeserved as it might be, in those successes for reasons that I am uncertain of. I am glad that Father is sharing in that pride this time and that he and Spock have a better relationship than I did with him. He seems to be somewhat uncomfortable with me, but disguises it well. I can understand that it must be… odd… to have a son that is chronologically older than he is. I wonder how Mother would have handled it?" He sat forward and steepled his fingers, elbows resting on the desk.
"No, that's not entirely true. I know that she would have shed many tears while holding me tightly to her breast in an overwhelming display of emotions. Those emotions would have been so varied and disorganized that even she would have been unable to distinguish them, but, overall, she would have been happy to see me and proud of my accomplishments, in spite of my failure to save Romulus.
"I am still disturbed by what happened and do not even know what did happen after I was drawn into the singularity. But it no longer matters as that timeline has been irrevocably changed and it is as if it never happened." He sat back in his chair, seemingly lost in the possibilities.
"As my old friend, Jim, would no doubt have said, 'Don't worry about it, Spock. Temporal Dynamics are a bitch. They're not supposed to make sense. You'll just give yourself a headache trying to figure it out.' And he would be right. Chaos rarely, if ever, makes sense.
"Father seems to be having some difficulty with Mother's death. I, of course, can understand as this is the second time I have had to mourn her passing. The first time, it was expected as she was quite elderly and it was, in the current vernacular, 'her time'. Then, Father and I were both well prepared and were able to celebrate her life. This time, she was still relatively young and in good health with a great deal more to live for. In a way, I feel some measure of responsibility, however illogical that seems. It was Nero's actions which caused her death, but that is one of the unfortunate aspects of my Human heritage that I have yet to be able to fully control. I have faith that Father will weather the storm, as will I.
"I hope that, while off-planet, I will be able to meet with my younger self once again, and perhaps even acquaint myself further with the younger versions of my old friends. It will be intriguing to see how similar they are to the ones I knew and how they interact. I have observed one major difference already in Spock's relationship with young Miss Uhura. I, myself, would not have considered such a relationship at the time, but I am not him. I can appreciate why he would be intrigued by her as, not only is (and was) her appearance esthetically pleasing, but she has (and had) a fine mind both in science and the arts. I seem to recall that she had a magnificent singing voice and I suspect that she still does. He seems to have struck a better balance between his Vulcan and Human sides than I did at that age and, as such, seems to have been more able to act upon such things. I hope that it works out well for him. At the very least, she would be able to help him through his pon farr. Perhaps she already has."
Spock got up and casually approached the food synthesizer for a bowl of plomeek soup. Returning to his desk with the reddish concoction, he continued while he ate, "I have given a great deal of consideration as to what information from the future would be appropriate to pass along. Mere historical facts would, undoubtedly, be useless in this new timeline, but some things, for example, the existence of the Borg, would allow Starfleet time to prepare for that eventuality; in the case of the Borg, one hundred five years. Other than the Borg, the Hobus supernova which destroyed Romulus and, perhaps, the destruction of Praxis – although I seriously doubt that the Klingons of this time would listen – I can think of nothing that requires immediate attention. Except, possibly, the existence of tribbles…
"I find myself wishing that I had been more involved in the development of the Red Matter as the technology needed to develop it does not yet exist. I feel that it would be prudent to begin this as soon as possible. Sadly, the only source of it ever produced was on my ship. Even so, the technical data was not in the ship's computer, either. I only have peripheral knowledge of the process: not enough to actually create it. I will, however, offer what assistance that I can.
"I fear that any hope of Re-Unification between the Vulcan and Romulan peoples has now been lost. Our people have been decimated and there is no logical reason for the Romulans to agree with accepting what amounts to ten thousand refugees in their midst. This is, perhaps, Nero's greatest crime. I find myself saddened at the apparent loss of what had become my life's work. I must accept it and continue my efforts in the rebuilding of Vulcan society; perhaps finding a way to lay the ground work for it to possibly happen at some point in the future. It is unlikely to happen in my lifetime, but perhaps one of my descendants will be successful.
"As McCoy so often said, 'One can only hope'."
FIN
A/N2: Don't bother tipping the Ferengi waiter on your way out. He's already added it your bill – no doubt an amount three times that you would have otherwise tipped him.