Forever And Never
Headmistress Umbridge had such a smug look on her face when Harry stepped inside her office that he immediately felt even warier than usual. She'd summoned him, for what Harry figured would be more detention with that dreaded blood quill. But there was no black quill in sight when Harry slowly sank into the empty chair in front of her desk.
"Mr Potter," Umbridge said in her sugary sweet voice while she stared at Harry as though he was her favourite kind of pastry and she couldn't wait to swallow him whole. "Your attendance at this school has been fraught with far too many disciplinary measures this year. You've instigated a rebellion amongst the students and you've been telling lie after lie for months on end."
Oh fuck. She was going to expel him, wasn't she? A large stone formed inside Harry's chest and sank directly into his stomach. He couldn't go back to the Dursleys. He just couldn't.
Perhaps Sirius would let him stay with him at Grimmauld Place. Harry would gladly put up with Sirius' dark moods and excessive alcohol consumption to avoid the Dursleys forever and ever.
"I believe I have found the perfect solution to bring you under the ministry's control once and for all," Umbridge said, her eyes growing fever bright with obvious glee. "You see, there has always been an oversight when it comes to your guardianship."
Harry swallowed, that horrible stone in his stomach growing at least twice as big. He had no clue what Umbridge was talking about, but he knew with certainty that he wasn't going to like it.
Leaning forward in her chair a bit in clear anticipation, Umbridge said in a buttery voice, "Your muggle aunt was registered as your guardian."
Harry did not miss the past tense there.
"But muggles are entirely unsuitable to raise wizarding children. It certainly explains why you have grown up into such a little hellion." Umbridge carefully picked up a piece of parchment from a small stack to her right. "That is why I've visited your muggle aunt and explained the situation to her. She was in full agreement that you needed much more discipline than she could provide and she was eager to sign over your guardianship to me personally."
Eyes growing wide, Harry stared at the signatures at the bottom of the guardianship contract. He knew Aunt Petunia's signature and he was certain it was the real thing. "You can't do this," he protested, even though a small voice in the back of his mind insisted that she probably could.
"I think you'll find that I can, Mr Potter," Umbridge said, practically glowing while taking in Harry's panicked expression. "Until you turn seventeen, you're under my full control from now on."
So it was temporary. Harry latched onto that detail. It would be just over a year of hell, being under Umbridge's absolute control, but it would end. Harry had survived all these years with the Dursleys. He could survive Umbridge as well, he would make sure of it. He wouldn't let the vicious old toad win.
Umbridge remained quiet while she carefully observed Harry, as though she could read his thoughts on his face. Harry lowered his gaze, suddenly worried Umbridge might know legilimency.
"Being your guardian gives me the power to sign contracts in your name, did you know that, Mr Potter?" Umbridge reached for the stack of papers again and presented Harry with another contract.
Harry stared at it in complete confusion, unsure what 'Contract of Betrothal' even meant.
"This is to be your bride," Umbridge said, unable to keep a giggle out of her voice as she pushed a picture in Harry's direction.
The girl in the photograph bore something of a resemblance to Umbridge. She had the same broad face and the same wide mouth. Her hair was black, though, and rather lanky. And her eyes were small and stood very close together and for some reason they reminded Harry of Dudley.
Umbridge pushed the picture even closer to Harry when it became clear he wasn't going to pick it up. "This is my second cousin, Deborah Umbridge. She's just turned twenty and she's very eager to get married. Her family's been unable to find a suitable match for her so far, but I'm sure the two of you will be very happy together."
Harry stared at her as though she's suddenly transformed into Voldemort himself. "You can't force me to marry. I'm only fifteen."
"Which is exactly the age young witches and wizards can get married with their guardian's permission," Umbridge said with another giggle while she clasped her stubby fingers together. "These are your copies. You're welcome to read through them at your own leisure. The wedding is set for June 22nd, which is the Saturday right after your OWLs."
Harry's ears were ringing and his vision blurred but he still had the common sense to snatch up the documents before he stormed out of Umbridge's office. He made a beeline for the Great Hall where he found Ron and Hermione sitting at the Gryffindor table, waiting for dinner to be served.
"Umbridge has completely lost her mind," Harry snarled as he shoved the documents in Hermione's hands.
It took Hermione less than a minute of paging through them to understand the severity of the situation. "Come on, we need to figure out what exactly is going on."
"But we'll miss dinner," Ron said, staring at Harry with pleading eyes. "Can't this wait half an hour?"
"No!" Hermione yanked on Ron's arm and dragged him with her out of the hall and into an empty classroom.
"She can't do this, right?" Harry asked as he read the documents over Hermione's shoulders. "Please tell me she can't do this."
It was Ron who sealed Harry's fate. "Arranged marriages used to be quite common, a few centuries ago." Ron ignored Hermione's disgusted mutterings. "Parents or guardians could force their kids to marry someone of their choosing through magical contracts like this. It's really not a done thing anymore, but it's still a valid contract, I'm sure."
"That is the most preposterous thing I've ever heard," Hermione said, her voice rising with outrage.
"What happens when I refuse to marry this girl?" Harry asked, his hands trembling as he squeezed them into fists. "What if I just don't show up to the wedding?"
Ron's face paled visibly. "You'll lose your magic."
A deafening silence filled the classroom as Harry stared at this friends and they stared right back at him, none of them sure what to say.
"We won't let that happen," Hermione finally whispered, eyes blinking rapidly. "We won't let her get away with this. We need to make a plan."
"Can we do that in the kitchens at least?" Ron pleaded, right when his stomach released a loud growl. Rolling her eyes, Hermione gathered up all the papers and hurried out of the door.
"Right," Hermione said while they sat down at the table in the corner of the kitchens. "First we'll research the legality of this, just to be sure."
"Dobby is so happy to see the great Harry Potter," Dobby said, startling Harry out of his horrified state.
"Good to see you, too, Dobby," Harry managed to say, smiling while Dobby served them all chicken soup with an assortment of sandwiches.
"Dumbledore would probably be able to stop this," Ron said in between huge bites of a ham sandwich.
"How do we reach him, though?" Harry asked, stirring his spoon through his soup listlessly. He had no appetite to speak of, his stomach still buried under a huge, aching stone.
"You go talk to McGonagall," Hermione told Harry with a determined nod.
"She's a right beauty, isn't she?" Ron said with a wrinkle of his nose as he briefly picked up the photograph of Deborah Umbridge. "Imagine having to wake up to that ugly mug for the rest of your life."
"Her looks are hardly the biggest problem here," Hermione said in obvious disapproval. "The contract is written in such a way that Harry will basically be a slave to his wife for the rest of his life."
"What?" Harry dropped his spoon, an ice-cold shiver running down his back.
Hermione shook her head, voice softer now. "It's all here, Harry. Your wife will have full control over your finances, your employment, and any children that might be born. And divorce will not be possible."
"Blimey," Ron whispered, staring at Harry in abject horror.
Harry understood at once what Umbridge was trying to do. "That's how the toad can control me for the rest of my life. I'm sure she'll tell Deborah what she wants to see done to me until the day she dies."
"That's an option," Ron said, with a waggle of his eyebrows, sounding like he was only half joking. "Would be a right shame if Umbridge disappeared inside the Chamber of Secrets and was never seen again."
Harry sat up a little, actually contemplating murder for a minute. Anything would be better than becoming Umbridge's slave for the rest of his life.
"The Ministry would throw Harry into Azkaban the moment something happened to Umbridge," Hermione pointed out without looking up from the contract in her hand. She surprisingly didn't scold Harry and Ron for their tentative plans to do Umbridge in. She finally looked up and heaved a deep sigh. "I truly find it hard to believe this is legal, Harry. I'll go to the library at once to do some research. You go talk to McGonagall."
Harry found his Head of House marching down a corridor. "Professor!" Harry hurried after her.
McGonagall didn't even slow down her pace as she glanced at him. "Potter. Now is not a good time."
"Professor, I have to speak to Headmaster Dumbledore," Harry said in an urgent whisper as he barely managed to keep pace with her. "Umbridge is trying to –"
"Mr Potter," McGonagall snapped while she narrowed her eyes into a glare. "The Headmaster has bigger things to deal with than your inability to keep your head down. We are all trying to make the best of a terrible situation. I suggest you do the same."
Harry stopped walking and stared after McGonagall as she disappeared around a corner. He wasn't even surprised she wouldn't even hear him out. When had McGonagall ever listened to him? Without realizing it, Harry ran his thumb across the burning scar on the back of his hand.
When had anyone in authority helped him this year at Hogwarts? McGonagall ignored him, even when Umbridge tortured him with a blood quill for weeks on end. Dumbledore wouldn't even look at Harry before ordering Snape to rip Harry's mind apart a couple of times a week.
And there was a whole Ministry full of witches and wizards who'd much rather badmouth a fifteen-year-old boy publicly and privately instead of facing the truth concerning a Dark Lord that was a threat to them all.
Even Harry's godfather much preferred to drink while reminiscing about his glory days at Hogwarts instead of offering Harry any practical help he so desperately needed.
It was at this moment that Harry realized once and for all that, aside from Ron and Hermione, he was completely on his own. No help would come for him. No convenient phoenixes or professors would come to his rescue anymore. Those days were long gone as this schoolyear had proven.
They convened in the kitchens again two days later.
"I've read everything I could find on magical guardianships and marriage contracts," Hermione said, voice tight with tension. "And it appears that what Umbridge has done is completely legal."
Harry stared at the tabletop, mind oddly blank.
"I'm telling you," Ron said, sounding as though he was trying very hard to believe his own words. "Dumbledore could fix this."
"How?" Hermione snapped while she turned in her seat to glare at Ron. "The contract is legal and binding. Dumbledore has no standing with the Ministry at this moment and Umbridge has Fudge's backing."
"I'm not going through with it," Harry mumbled, feeling strangely calm as he said it. "I don't care what the consequences are. I refuse to be Umbridge's slave for the rest of my life. Anything's better than that."
"But you'll lose your magic," Ron whispered, staring at Harry with wide, disbelieving eyes. "You'd have to leave Hogwarts and the wizarding world forever."
Harry slowly looked up at Ron. "I've lived as a muggle for most of my life, Ron. It's not that bad. Certainly better than being in Umbridge's control for the rest of my life." And Harry meant that. Yeah, living with the Dursleys sucked, but being a muggle wasn't the end of the world.
Yes, Harry would miss magic. He'd miss flying and roaming around Hogwarts. And most of all, he'd miss Ron and Hermione.
But giving up those things was the better choice when the only other option was having Umbridge looming over him for the rest of his existence.
"You really mean that," Hermione said while Ron gaped at him in clear disbelief.
"I do." Harry rubbed a hand across his eyes. "I'm tired, Hermione. This year has been an absolute nightmare. I'm barely getting any sleep, I've been tortured by two professors, ignored by two more even when I desperately needed their help, and the Ministry that runs this country has it out for me and won't rest until they've absolutely destroyed me. Quite frankly, I could do with a bit of a holiday in the muggle world."
"We'd have to plan this very carefully," Hermione said, face scrunching up in determination.
"You're not serious," Ron protested, looking between Harry and Hermione in a clear panic. "What about Hogwarts, Harry? What about Voldemort?"
"What about him?" Harry stared at Ron with a clear challenge in his eyes. "I've told the world all I know about his return. And I doubt Voldemort would be all that interested in me after I lose my magic."
"You'd still have to hide," Hermione said while Ron sputtered in outrage. "We'd have to find a way to give you a whole new identity in the muggle world."
"Dobby can help," Dobby said, appearing beside Harry out of thin air. "Dobby knows where to find illegal books to hide as a muggle." Without waiting for a reply, Dobby popped out of the kitchen. Ten minutes of Ron pleading with Harry to reconsider later, Dobby appeared again with a stack of books in his arms. "Dobby is still friends with the elves at his old home. They be copying these books for the great Harry Potter."
Hermione all but pounced on the books the second Dobby placed them on the table.
"Dobby," Harry asked as he stared at his odd friend. "Would you still want to work for me even if I was a muggle?"
Dobby nodded at once. "Oh yes. Dobby is owing the great Harry Potter a lot. He is getting Dobby away from his bad family. Dobby is listening to him always and always."
"Good." Harry heaved a deep sigh, suddenly feeling a bit lighter. "Because I could really use your help."
"Those filthy hypocrites," Hermione muttered as she paged through the first book. "They all pretend that muggles are beneath them, but at the same time they all have plans on how to disappear in the muggle world should they ever need to leave the wizarding world in a hurry. It's all here." Hermione held up the book to show off a chapter on forging muggle passports.
"I don't care about those bastards. I just want to get out of here and never be found," Harry said while reaching for another book. This one detailed banking and investing in the muggle world.
"Harry, please don't do this," Ron said, shoulders slumped. "Please just go and talk to someone. Try McGonagall again, or even Snape. He's in the Order, right?"
Shaking his head, Harry concentrated on the book in his hands. There was no one at Hogwarts who could undo what Umbridge had done. The only thing Harry could do now was sacrifice his magic to keep his freedom.
Harry hated it, hated Umbridge with a fiery strength that scared himself every now and then, but he was determined to see this through.
Over the next week, Ron withdrew from Harry and Hermione's preparations.
"He doesn't understand your choice," Hermione whispered to him while they practised transfiguring passports in a dark corner of the common room. "He doesn't know what it's like to live without magic."
"It's better than being a slave to Umbridge," Harry muttered, pleased to see he was getting the hang of it.
"I know and I agree." Hermione nodded approvingly as she examined Harry's work. "One of the reasons these contracts stopped being used is because too many pureblood heirs killed themselves instead of finding themselves trapped in a marriage with a distasteful partner."
Harry stared at Hermione in surprise. "They'd kill themselves rather than lose their magic?"
"Exactly. To purebloods, the thought of not having magic is literally worse than death." Hermione urged Harry to transfigure another passport. "I'm not coming back to Hogwarts next year," she then said, much to Harry's shock. "I've thought about it a lot this past week. What with Voldemort looming on the horizon and you gone, I'm asking my parents to transfer me to Beauxbatons next year for my NEWTs."
"Hermione," Harry said, feeling oddly choked up.
"Not your fault," Hermione said quickly, as though she'd just read Harry's mind. "I've considered this before, but I never wanted to abandon you. Ron's got a big magical family to look out for him, but you and I never had that."
Harry couldn't hold back a sharp sob and buried his face in his hand. "I hate this so much. This whole fucking year has been one disaster after another and now we're both giving up. They made us do that, didn't they?"
"It's unfair, yes, what's happened to you this year," Hermione said, placing a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder. "But none of that is your fault. You deserve to live a happy life, Harry. Even if it's without magic, you deserve to be free."
"I'm actually kind of looking forward to it," Harry confessed once he'd calmed down a little. "Not having to fight for my life all the time anymore. Not having to worry about Voldemort anymore."
Hermione gave him a small smile. "That never should have been your problem to solve in the first place."
Shrugging, Harry sat up again and returned Hermione's smile before getting back to work.
Everything went smoothly until Harry went to Gringotts. He snuck out of Hogwarts the next Saturday morning and had Dobby pop him to Diagon Alley.
"I'd like to empty my vault," Harry said, handing over his vault key to the Goblin teller.
The teller examined his key for a moment and said, "That's impossible."
Harry blinked. "What do you mean?"
"Your new guardian has put a cap on your withdrawals."
Gritting his teeth, Harry did his very best to keep his temper under control. Now was not the time to pick a fight. "How much can I withdraw then?"
The goblin gave him a bored look. "Fifty galleons."
"Per day?" Harry asked hopefully.
"Yes."
Harry did a quick calculation in his head. It was still about 40 days until he would disappear. That meant he could withdraw a total of 2000 galleons, which would net him about 10000 pounds. Not a fortune, but enough to hold him over until Harry could find some employment in the muggle world while he got at least some basic degrees. Hermione had hammered home that Harry had to go to some form of muggle school or do some form of self-study.
"Can I send my elf to make that withdrawal every day?" Harry asked shrewdly.
"As long as he has the key he can make a withdrawal," the Goblin said before narrowing his eyes at Harry. "Are you getting gold today or are you just holding up the line?"
Harry got his 50 Galleons for the day and had it immediately exchanged into pounds. He doubted he'd remain in Britain once he left, but British pounds could easily be exchanged into local currency just about everywhere in the world.
A week later Harry handed Ron the Marauder's Map. "I want you to have this, mate."
Ron shook his head, staring that his bed while avoiding Harry's outstretched hand.
"It won't do me any good where I'm going." Harry shook the map at his best friend. "Take it, or I'm giving it to Ginny."
Without looking at him, Ron snatched it from his hand and stuffed it in his trunk.
"If Umbridge ever gives back my Firebolt, you can have it as well," Harry said with a small smile.
Ron looked at him in surprise. "Harry…"
"I know," Harry sighed. "I wish things were different, but they aren't."
"Yeah," Ron said in a choked voice, eyes oddly bright.
"I want you to have Hedwig," Harry told Hermione a few days later. "She likes you a lot and I can't lug an easily identifiable owl around in the muggle world."
Hermione swallowed and nodded before pulling Harry into a brief hug. "I promise to look after her for the rest of her life."
"I know you will." Harry quickly cleared his throat. "I'm keeping my invisibility cloak. It should work on a muggle and it will certainly come in handy."
"Good idea." Hermione cleared her throat. "You're going to be fine, Harry. You're smart and resourceful. And you'll have Dobby looking out for you."
Harry smiled at her, grateful for her unwavering support. "I'm planning to go to – "
"No!" Hermione quickly placed her hand over Harry's mouth. "Don't tell me! If I don't know where you're going, they can't force it out of me."
Harry nodded and Hermione moved her hand. All Hermione knew now was that Harry planned on disappearing into the muggle world and that he had a dozen passports under fake names for as many foreign countries. If Umbridge tried to slip Hermione a dose of veritaserum before interrogating her she wouldn't learn anything useful. Even Dumbledore or Snape wouldn't be able to read any important details in her mind this way.
Right before their OWLs were to start, Hagrid tried to get Harry and Hermione to follow him into the Forbidden Forest for something very important that he desperately needed their help with.
Harry told him no. It hurt him, to see Hagrid's disappointed face, but Harry was done trying to fix everybody else's problems while no one did anything to save his life from the clutches of an evil bitch like Umbridge.
The closer Harry got to the day he would leave, the more doubts plagued his mind. Was he doing the right thing? Should he make a bigger effort to contact Dumbledore or Sirius? He couldn't send an OWL because Umbridge was monitoring all outgoing post. He couldn't send Dobby, because he had no idea where Dumbledore was hiding, and Sirius was stuck behind a Fidelius charm and couldn't be found.
Harry honestly wasn't sure what else he could do. He didn't want to lose his magic, but he wanted to be Umbridge's slave even less. Every time the doubts in his mind seemed to be ready to convince him to give up his foolish plans and just beg McGonagall to listen to him, he'd see Umbridge's smug smirk in the classroom or the Great Hall and he knew he needed to do whatever he could to get out of there.
One positive thing about being so focused on his escape plans was that the strange dreams about the dark corridor were completely gone since his mind was utterly focused and thus closed off to outside influences.
Harry had wanted to leave before the OWLs took place, but Hermione had advised him against that. As long as he was magical, he could be tracked through his magical signature. If he left before the OWLs, the Ministry had eleven days to find him before he lost his magic. But if he left right after the OWLs, the Ministry only had a day to chase him down. And the moment he lost his magic, they'd be unable to track him with magic and he'd be safe as long as he used a new identity to build his new muggle life.
So Harry studied with Ron and Hermione and acted no differently than any of the other students, at least in public. In private he made sure his belongings were packed and ready to go. Hermione had enlarged his backpack with an undetectable extension charm, and Harry had transfigured several other bags to hold his clothes, books, money, a whole array of healing potions he had Dobby steal from the infirmary, just in case, and some non-perishable food. And of course a few important items like his invisibility cloak and his photo album. He also had Dobby buy him a sharp little pocket knife for self-defence. Everything fit inside his backpack, and Harry had taken to lugging his fully packed backpack around with him, just in case he needed to make a run for it should Umbridge get wind of his escape plans and try to lock him up or something terrifying like that.
Finally, the exams started and Harry made an effort to do well on his OWLs, even though they'd be useless to him soon enough. But focussing on the tests kept his thoughts from wandering and his mind from panicking.
Harry took great delight in showing off his Patronus during his Defence exam.
Fuck, he was going to miss doing magic.
Wednesday evening, during their Astronomy OWLs, Umbridge tried to violently remove Hagrid from the grounds. McGonagall tried to intervene but was stunned multiple times. Hagrid managed to get away, leaving chaos in his wake.
"You should go tonight," Hermione whispered, as they walked down the long steps of the Astronomy Tower surrounded by shocked students. "Umbridge will be thoroughly distracted for a while. She won't miss you now."
Harry considered that. He only had one OWL left to take, which was for History the next day. If he was lucky, Umbridge wouldn't notice him missing until the day after tomorrow when the preposterous wedding would take place. If he was unlucky, Umbridge might try to keep a very close eye on Harry immediately following his History OWL to make sure he wouldn't escape.
Yeah, now was probably a good time to leave. Harry swallowed and couldn't help taking in the corridors they walked through.
He was going to miss Hogwarts, his first ever home. Well, for a while it had seemed like a place to call home, but this past year it had been severely lacking in hospitality.
"Send Dobby from time to time to exchange letters," Hermione whispered to him. Harry reached for her hand and gave it a brief squeeze, trying to let Hermione know how much she meant to him and how much he was going to miss her. Hermione squeezed back. "We'll see each other again, Harry, I'm sure of it."
"Yeah, okay." Harry smiled at her, his throat suspiciously thick as they climbed through the portrait hole into the familiar comfort of the common room. "Good luck," Harry whispered.
"You too, Harry." Hermione's bottom lip trembled before she hurried up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.
Swallowing, Harry turned around and made his way up the stairs to his own bed for the very last time.
Harry waited until his roommates were asleep and then he threw his invisibility cloak around himself and snuck out of Gryffindor Tower. He used the secret passage to Honeydukes to make his way out of the castle. By the time he reached the store and he knew he was well beyond Hogwarts' wards, he summoned Dobby.
"Hide under the cloak with me and pop us to Heathrow Airport, please," Harry said, raising up the cloak so Dobby could sneak under it.
The books Dobby had finagled out of the Malfoy library held several possible scenarios for a wizard to escape the country using muggle means. One of them was stowing away on a muggle airplane. And that was exactly what Harry planned to do. He could of course buy a plane ticket and use his newly created muggle passport, but then there'd be a muggle trace of where he'd gone. He might even show up on muggle security cameras. But if he remained hidden under his cloak no one would have any evidence of where he'd gone.
Harry studied the flight information and choose the first flight that headed to the USA. It was a huge country where they spoke English and Harry figured it would be easy enough to disappear in. They had to wait two hours before they managed to get onboard a huge airplane just ahead of the other passengers. Harry and Dobby hid away in one of the crew bunks. Dobby used his magic to make sure no one noticed them and Harry managed to get a few hours of much needed sleep. He had packed more than enough food to keep them well fed for the long journey.
When the plane touched down in New York, Harry waited patiently for all the other passengers to leave first before he and Dobby quietly made their way off the plane. Harry didn't remove the cloak until they were well away from the customs desks. Harry exchanged some pounds into dollars while Dobby stood behind him still invisible. Then Harry bought a bus ticket to take him to a town just outside of the city.
Once there, Harry bought a muggle tent and enough camping supplies to see him through a week or two in the wilderness. They spent the night in a cheap muggle hotel where Harry studied a few maps and Dobby discovered the muggle television, much to his delight. That night, Harry had strange dreams full of vague visions of Sirius calling out to him. They woke Harry up in the middle of the night. While Harry stared up at the dark ceiling he figured those dreams were probably fuelled by his own feelings of guilt over leaving all those he cared about behind.
Then again, when Harry really thought about it, all those people had left him behind long before Harry ever decided to leave the wizarding world all together.
He was going to miss them all terribly. Sirius, Mr and Mrs Weasley, Hagrid, Dumbledore and his classmates. But none of them had been there for him, save for Hermione, when he needed them the most, so Harry refused to dwell on any feelings of guilt that tried to pollute his mind.
Heaving a deep sigh, Harry rolled onto his side and closed his eyes in determination. He fell asleep again soon enough.
The next day, Harry stopped in a supermarket, Dobby trailing after him still hidden under his cloak. Harry loaded up on all sorts of foods and drinks that were easy to store and easy to prepare in a tent. Then they got on another bus that drove them into the hills of upstate New York.
Harry knew that within a day he'd be losing his magic and he wanted privacy for that.
They found a secluded meadow halfway up a hill surrounded by dense forest. Harry pitched the tent the muggle way while Dobby warded the area around them extensively. Harry made a simple meal of macaroni and cheese out of a box and indulged in several candy bars for dessert.
"These are my last hours as a wizard," Harry mused as the sun went down around them.
"Harry Potter is being a great wizard," Dobby said as he gazed up at Harry with his large eyes. "And Harry Potter will be an equally great muggle. Besides, he has Dobby to take care of him."
"Thank you," Harry said with all the sincerity he could muster. "I'm so happy you're here with me."
"Dobby is being very happy, too."
Harry was asleep in his tent when he lost his magic. One moment he was having weird dreams about Sirius again, and next his entire body burst with pain, not unlike the feeling of a Cruciatus curse. Harry writhed in his sleeping bag, screaming when his skin felt like he was being flayed alive. His head pounded, his scar burned and his insides churned and he screamed and screamed until he lost his voice entirely.
It might have been hours or days before it ended. Or it might have been minutes. Harry had no idea.
"Master Harry is being okay now," Dobby said, offering him a few sips of lukewarm tea. "Master Harry will be resting now."
Harry barely managed a nod before he fell into an exhausted sleep. He didn't dream. He woke up almost thirty hours later to a very anxious house-elf who squeaked with happiness when Harry smiled up at him.
"How is Master Harry feeling?" Dobby asked, helping Harry to sit up.
"Hollow," Harry said, voice a hoarse whisper. "I'm definitely missing something. Like a limb that I didn't know I had before that's now suddenly gone. But I'm not in pain or anything."
It was a peculiar feeling and certainly difficult to describe, Harry mused as he took stock of himself. He was still himself, fundamentally, and yet he could tell things had changed.
Something was missing.
But, Harry supposed, it was a sensation he could learn to live with in due time. Much like when someone lost a hand or a leg. It took some getting used to, but in the end they'd be all right once they figured out how to do everything slightly differently.
It took Harry a week to recover from the exhaustion of having his magic ripped away. He tried several times to cast a simple Lumos, but his wand felt like a dead stick in his hand. The first time that happened, Harry had been unable to hold back the sobs and he'd curled up in his sleeping bag, overcome with grief while Dobby gently stroked his hair.
His magic was really gone.
Harry kept his wand though. They'd been through far too much together to simply discard it. And who knew? If he ever had children, they might be able to use it. Hermione had theorized that Harry would probably still be able to father magical children in the future.
When Harry was recovered enough that he could walk for a few miles again, he and Dobby spent a few weeks travelling through the hills, enjoying the beautiful forests around them while Harry slowly came to grip with his new reality.
It wasn't until they found a quiet pond on a windless day that Harry noticed something else had changed. His scar, usually red and inflamed, was almost non-existent.
"Black smoke was coming from Master Harry's scar," Dobby told him when Harry remarked upon that weird change. "It be screaming for a moment and then it be gone."
"Huh." Harry rubbed at his smooth forehead, unable to even feel the scar anymore. "That's unexpected. Though that might explain why I haven't had any strange dreams again. Losing my magic might have severed whatever link there was between me and Voldemort." Harry certainly hoped that was the case because that would probably make it much more difficult for Voldemort to ever track him down, should he try to do such a thing.
They reached a small town that seemed to be teeming with tourists. Several businesses had help wanted signs in their windows. That is how Harry ended up scooping ice cream for a month while he camped in the nearby woods. The owner was happy to pay Harry in cash without any questions asked, since Harry was just a seasonal worker. It added a nice bit of cash to Harry's pockets instead of depleting his limited funds.
And that is what Harry did over the following months as he and Dobby slowly moved westward. They camped in nature while Harry did all sorts of odd jobs that were available. He mowed lawns, he pressure washed driveways, he hauled manure, he washed hearses, he made hamburgers, and he sold cold drinks on the side of the road. Since their only expenses were food and a few new clothes and camping supplies, Harry actually managed to save up quite a bit of money.
As the weather grew colder, Dobby kept their tent comfortably warm with his magic. Still, Harry realized he should probably find a different place to live. The answer came to him when he ran into a bunch of nomads who lived in their cars.
Once they noticed Harry only had a tent, they were happy to show him how they managed to live comfortably in such a small space. And when Harry confessed he didn't know how to drive a few of them gave him driving lessons, too, in exchange for a bit of gas money.
After a couple of weeks of lessons and studying traffic laws and rules, Harry signed up for his driver's test and got his license without any troubles. Thankfully, his passport had been accepted as a form of ID. The name on it said Henry Podmore, which was close enough to his real name that Harry responded to it quite naturally.
Harry bought a minivan for a few thousand dollars. A big investment, but it also allowed him to travel much faster than he'd done before. Harry ripped out the backseats and Dobby charmed the inside slightly larger than it was, but not so much that the muggles would notice it. Dobby made a generous magically enlarged space for himself in a trunk beneath Harry's sleeping platform, where he could spend time when Harry was socializing with other muggles and they could see in his car.
An huge owl found Harry in the first week of November, just as they made their way into Missouri. As they had agreed, Hermione would contact him first when it was safe to do so. They didn't want to risk sending Dobby when Umbridge or the Ministry might still be monitoring her for clues to where Harry had gone.
Hermione's long letter told Harry that she was now safely attending Beauxbatons after an eventful summer. First she and Ron had been thoroughly interrogated by Umbridge, but without veritaserum thankfully. Apparently Umbridge had demanded Snape make more, but hadn't realized it would take weeks to do so.
There had also been a situation at the Ministry, which involved a few Death Eaters breaking in, perhaps even Voldemort himself, but the Ministry was denying the whole thing had even happened.
Dumbledore and McGonagall had visited Hermione at her house the first day she was home. She'd honestly told them why Harry had left, even showed them copies of the contracts she'd made. Apparently Dumbledore had been so shocked by the idea that Harry had lost his magic that McGonagall had needed to summon Poppy Pomfrey for a calming draught.
Hermione had given them both a thorough chewing out about their treatment of Harry before officially withdrawing from Hogwarts. Sirius had also sent her a few letters, demanding to know where Harry was. Hermione had explained the situation to him the same as she'd done with her professors, but she'd also honestly told him she didn't know where Harry was. Ron hadn't been in touch with her after she told him she'd be attending Beauxbatons in the fall.
Harry had already written a few letters that he kept ready to send and the huge owl was willing to take them back to Hermione. Apparently his name was Oberon and Hermione had bought him especially to use for long distance mail delivery. She'd been worried about Dobby being unable to apparate long distances. And while Dobby would indeed not be able to apparate across the Atlantic, he was more than willing to smuggle himself aboard airplanes just like they'd done before to get across the pond. But now that problem was solved by Hermione's new owl.
Harry told Hermione about his new life without giving any details away. He talked about the many jobs he'd been doing and getting his driver's license. He also told her that he was getting used to having no magic, even though he did miss it at times. Especially things like flying. But he now enjoyed learning new things, like how to maintain his car and how to learn any number of muggle skills. He assured her that he was doing fine and that he was travelling for a while before deciding where to settle down.
It was probably safer for Harry to keep moving around at least until he was seventeen, just in case Umbridge was still actively trying to get her hands on him. The second he turned seventeen she'd lose any power she might have had over him. A good thing Harry had learned from Dobby was that the Goblins had assured him that Umbridge couldn't enter Harry's vault by herself without Harry's key. So Harry's remaining gold was safe, and Dobby could withdraw it for him once Harry became an adult.
A few weeks after Hermione's first letter, another owl arrived, this one smaller and looking positively exhausted. It carried a letter from Dumbledore that Dobby insisted Harry should let him open so he could cancel all the tracking charms on it.
Dumbledore pleaded with Harry to return to Hogwarts (How? Harry was now a muggle), then scolded him for not reaching out to Dumbledore for help (How? Harry had been without any means of communication after Dumbledore had fled the castle), and then he reminded Harry of Ron and Sirius who both missed him very much and weren't the same without him (Harry missed them, too, but Sirius was a grown-ass wizard and Ron had a large, loving family). Then the Headmaster ended the letter by telling Harry he had very important information to share with him about Voldemort that Harry needed to know (then why the fuck hadn't Dumbledore shared such information before?).
All in all, it was a useless letter, and Harry burned it immediately after reading.
Sirius also sent him a letter that reached him a few weeks later. It was one long plea for Harry to come home, which Harry suspected Sirius had written after too many shots of whisky because the whole story barely made any sense.
Harry burned it as well, though with a slightly heavier heart.
He was a muggle now and he no longer had any responsibilities to the wizarding world.
Some days Harry missed magic so much it physically hurt, but those days were becoming fewer and fewer as time went by. Hermione sent him a long letter once every two months or so, and Harry always had a few letters written to send back to her about his own adventures.
During a bathroom break at a carpark along the interstate, Harry found an abandoned dog. It was a small, scruffy thing, barely a year old, white with a few brown spots. It was skittish at first, but Harry managed to lure it closer with a generous helping of bologna. Harry took him the vet, where the poor thing got treated for fleas, worms and mange. Harry named him Dakota, after the state he found him in and just like that, Harry had another travel companion.
Dakota was a great addition, because he always alerted Harry if someone approached their car. He also motivated Harry to go out and explore when he wasn't working instead of just lazing about on his bed. While Harry was away earning a living, Dobby looked after Dakota in his temperature controlled space under Harry's bed.
Harry worked in the sugar beet harvest, picked apples, spent a month working on a construction site hauling all sorts of things around and he delivered pizzas.
While spending time in Wyoming, Harry made two new friends. Both were fellow nomads. Rickie was in his late twenties, lived in an SUV and spent most of his time railing against the government. Ellen had aged out of the foster system two years prior and lived in a minivan. She was also loudly and proudly a lesbian and was determined the change the system. What that system exactly was, Harry had no idea.
But Harry did have experience with unfair governing systems and being the target of prosecution so he nodded along with their rants and talked about his own life in general terms. His family who didn't want him, teachers who did nothing for him and a government who couldn't care less about him.
Both Rickie and Ellen understood such circumstances only too well.
While travelling with them, working odd jobs they found along the way, Harry made an effort to change his accent from obviously British to much more American. The less he resembled his old self the better.
Rickie was a man with a passion for firearms and he kept several in his vehicle and on his person at all times. He was happy to give Harry an in-depth course on gun safety before taking him out into the desert to teach him how to shoot. And once Rickie was happy with Harry's skills he took him to a gun store and helped him buy his first gun, a small Ruger Harry could easily keep in a holster on his lower back. No matter his new circumstances, Harry hadn't forgotten that somewhere in the world a Dark Lord lived that probably still wanted to see him dead.
Harry spent his first winter in the US travelling around the southwest and meeting up with many more nomads of all ages and walks of life. No one batted an eye finding a teenager with a fading British accent living in a car with a small dog by his side. Everyone had their own stories of how they'd ended up on the road. Some by choice and some by circumstances beyond their control. But no matter how they got there, they all became part of this new community they formed with each other. Some lived in small cars, some in tents. Others pulled travel trailers along or lived in vans they'd built out into comfortable living spaces.
Harry spent days learning how to fix things in his car or how to add an extra battery for his electrical uses. He spent evenings around campfires listening to old-timers who'd been on the road longer than Harry had been alive sharing their wisdom.
It was good, to be part of a tribe again. It had been wizards, once upon a time. Now it was outcasts, people who wanted to do their own thing instead of going along with what others in society expected of them.
Once spring was well underway, Harry said goodbye to his newly found tribe and got back on the road headed north. He wanted to visit Yellowstone National Park and Glacier National Park and he was sure he could find a few odd jobs in the many state parks and commercial campgrounds around those places.
One morning in early June in Montana, Harry slid the door of his minivan open to take a much needed piss after he just woke up and found Severus Snape standing outside, wand aimed at Harry's head. Before Harry could do or say a thing, Snape cast some magic that hit Harry square in the face but didn't seem to do anything to him.
"Motherfucker!" Harry cursed in a thick American accent. "What the fuck was that?"
Snape merely sneered at Harry, seemingly delighted to find Harry so defenceless. Of course, Snape hadn't counted on Harry's best friend and he soon found himself laying in the dirt some ten feet away, his wand firmly clasped in Dobby's hand. He also hadn't counted on Harry's other best friend, and soon had a small, scruffy dog tugging on his trouser leg while growling viciously.
"Your scar, Potter," Snape said, giving Dakota a kick the small dog easily avoided by jumping out of the way. "What happened to your scar?"
Before answering, Harry reached inside his car and pulled his Ruger out, aiming it straight at Snape's head while clicking off the safety. Snape's eyes widened further than Harry had ever seen them do before. "Just because I'm a muggle now doesn't mean I'm easy pickings," Harry said, the gun in his hand never wavering. "And to answer your question, I lost my scar the moment I lost my magic. According to Dobby some black stuff came out that made a strange noise. It hasn't bothered me since."
"Of course," Snape muttered, clearly to himself. "It would need a magical container and you stopped being that the moment you lost your magic."
"What?" Harry glared at Snape with all his might while taking a few steps closer. "What container?"
"None of your business, Potter," Snape snarled while looking at Harry as if he wasn't even worth Snape's time even though he was still sitting at Harry's feet in the dirt.
How dare Snape still treat him like a child that should be kept in the dark. Harry had grown quite a bit. He was at least as tall as Snape now and broader in the shoulders thanks to all the labour he'd done. And yet Snape just dismissed him like he was nothing. Something ugly snapped in Harry and he had enough.
Bam.
Harry put a bullet in Snape's left thigh, cherishing the sounds of Snape's surprised scream. "I'm the one with the gun, Snape. So start talking or the next bullet will land in your skull." Harry adjusted the aim of his gun accordingly.
Snape gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, pressing down on the bleeding wound with a trembling hand. "The Dark Lord left a piece of soul behind in your scar the night he attacked you. I needed to see if it was still there."
"Ah." Harry furrowed his brows as he mulled this over. "What would have happened if I still had that piece of soul in me?"
Snape's even stare was answer enough and several things clicked in place in Harry's mind. He didn't have time to examine those revelations at that moment because there was another pressing matter to discuss.
"How did you find me?" Harry demanded.
Snape glared at Harry, lips pursed tightly.
"I swear to god, Snape, I'll put a hole in your other leg if you don't answer the fucking question." And Harry would put many more holes in Snape if that was what it took to get the answers he wanted. He was no longer a student worried about detentions. He'd been on his own for a year now and he'd done pretty damned good for himself. He may have lost his magic but he'd gained a ton of confidence in its place.
Sighing, Snape shook his head before grimacing from the pain in his leg. "I had some hairs of your mother in my possession. I used them in a potion to track you down."
Harry decided he didn't want to know how Snape got those hairs. "I'll let you go," Harry said with a gesture at Dobby to return Snape's wand. "But tell everyone else that if they find some obscure way to track me down I'll shoot them first and ask questions later."
It took Snape a moment to haul himself to his feet and it seemed he wanted to sling a few choice insults in Harry's direction but Harry kept his gun aimed at his former professor and finally Snape seemed to think the better of it. Without any pause, Snape apparated away.
"Thanks, Dobby," Harry sighed, slowly lowering his gun while sliding the safety back in place.
"Dobby is looking out for his Master Harry," Dobby said with a firm nod before crawling back in the minivan. "Dobby will check for tracking charms on the car."
Harry took the quickest piss of his life while urging Dakota to do the same and then he loaded up his car and hit the road right away. He didn't stop driving for at least four hours, when his tank was running on empty. After filling up at an out of the way gas station, Harry leaned forward and rested his head on the steering wheel.
It all made sense now. There had been a piece of Voldemort's soul in Harry's head. That explained their strange connection. And probably also Harry's temporary ability to speak parseltongue. He'd lost it, as he'd found out the first time he met a harmless rat snake that snuck in his tent and he'd tried to tell it off. And Dumbledore had known of it, Harry was absolutely sure. And apparently he'd sent Snape to kill Harry should he still have that piece of soul in his head.
Yeah, any lingering guilt that might still have occupied some deep parts of Harry's mind instantly disappeared.
Fuck Dumbledore and Snape and all those uncaring bastards he'd left behind.
Harry went back onto the road, determined to spend no more thoughts on those he'd left behind. They deserved none of his time and energy.
When his seventeenth birthday came around, Harry found himself camping in Washington state near mount Rainier. He built a campfire and cracked open a beer and toasted his own coming of age. At least from that moment on Umbridge wasn't able to get her hands on him in any legal capacity again. The next day Harry sent Dobby to empty his Gringotts vault while he opened a muggle bank account to put his fortune into.
It was a week later that Harry's life took another important turn. Harry found a job in Mike's Auto Repair Shop to clean the place up a few times a week. The owner, Mike, a man with a big belly and an even bigger heart, noticed that Harry seemed to have a genuine interest in repairing cars and showed him a few of the ropes of becoming a car mechanic. Harry enjoyed it so much that he decided to stick around and focus his education on that. He rented a small home in a nearby town and relished sleeping in a real bed again. He'd loved travelling in his car but he also loved having indoor plumbing again.
Over the past year Harry had made an effort to read as many books on muggle school subjects as he could fit into his travelling schedule, so Harry was prepared to get his GED. Once he'd managed that he signed up for a mechanic training program while Mike took him on as an apprentice at his shop.
Harry's life changed even more when one of his colleagues at the shop let Harry have a go on his Harley Davidson Fat Boy. Harry had never ridden a motorcycle before but he was instantly hooked. This was as close to flying as a muggle could hope to get, Harry was sure. And since he now had access to his family's money, Harry immediately bought himself an electric blue Fat Boy that he used to get around from then on. His boss Mike shook his head and made Harry promise to always wear a helmet. Dobby took to charming the bike and Harry's gear with a number of protection charms when Harry wasn't looking.
A year and a half later, when Harry was close to becoming a fully licensed car mechanic, Hermione sent him a few magical newspaper articles. Harry read them on his back porch, Dakota in his lap, his hands shaking as he held the scraps of paper.
Voldemort was defeated for good. It had been an effort made possible by a lot of people with a final battle at Hogwarts where Voldemort had been brought down by a group of Order members, Snape and Mr Weasley included. Neither had survived the duel. Lupin and Tonks were also dead, but Sirius was still alive and had apparently been exonerated and was a free man at last.
Harry couldn't stop the sobs that escaped him. It was finally over. Even though Harry had been living his own life for a good long while now, he'd never forgotten about the threat of Voldemort.
But that was finally over now and a weight lifted off Harry's shoulders that he hadn't even noticed was still there.
Hermione came to visit him that Christmas with her brand-new fiancé by her side. Massimo was an Italian guy Hermione had met at Beauxbatons who was easily as smart as her. He was tall and dark, but perhaps not quite that handsome though he had an infectious smile. He more than made up for that by the way the openly worshipped the ground Hermione walked on. Harry liked him a lot and was happy for his old friend.
Harry had wondered how he'd feel, socializing with a witch and wizard again now that he was a muggle, but as it turned out that didn't bother him at all.
"I'm glad you're doing as well as you are," Hermione told him as she helped him cook dinner one evening. "You look a lot happier than I've ever seen you before."
Smiling, Harry considered that for a moment. "I am happier than I've ever been before. I'm just Harry now, just a guy with a job he enjoys and hobbies that keep him busy and friends he likes spending time with."
"Good. Now let's hope Umbridge enjoys her life sentence in Azkaban," Hermione said with a vindictive little smile. That had been possibly the best news Hermione had brought with her during her visit.
A few months later Harry met a beautiful young woman named Saanvi Burman who attended a nearby university with the goal of becoming a paediatrician. Harry fell instantly and deeply in love with her and much to his luck, she returned those feelings. They went on numerous dates on Harry's motorcycle and Saanvi enjoyed spending weekends out in nature with Harry in a small tent. During that time Harry said goodbye to Mike and went to work at a motorcycle shop a few towns over as a mechanic. It was there that, two months later, Harry got called to the front, much to his confusion. Once he got to the showroom he saw a very familiar figure sitting on a red Kawasaki.
"Harry!" Sirius jumped up from the motorcycle and rushed up to a stunned Harry to engulf him in a big hug. "So happy to see you."
Harry returned the hug for a moment before staring up at Sirius' face. There was more grey in Sirius' hair and he had a knot of thick scarring on the right side of his face, but his smile was still the same.
"Now don't blame Hermione," Sirius said while giving Harry a stern look. "She kept quiet for years about your whereabouts, but now that old Voldemort is gone for good she finally relented after I threatened to turn into Padfoot and serenade her bedroom window every single night."
Chuckling, Harry shook his head. He didn't blame Hermione because it was actually good to see Sirius. Harry had missed him over the years.
"So you got into motorcycles," Sirius said while glancing around the shop. "I'm so proud!"
"Well, I just work here as a mechanic," Harry said with a shrug. "But I am thinking of starting my own Harley dealership."
Sirius gave him a considerate look before waggling his eyebrows. "Would you consider a business partner?"
Blinking, Harry stared up at Sirius. "I might, but we'd have to talk that through in a little more detail."
"Of course." Sirius slapped him on the back. "But please say yes because there's nothing left for me in Britain and I'm going slightly bonkers doing nothing all day."
"Okay," Harry said with a smile. "Have dinner at my house tonight and we'll work something out."
"Thank you, Harry." Sirius' eyes glistened for a moment. "I really am to glad to see you happy and whole. I get why you left and I don't blame you one bit, just so you know."
"Thanks," Harry whispered as he walked Sirius to the door. Life really had turned out pretty great for Harry. Once upon a time losing his magic had seemed like the worst thing that could happen to him, but time and effort had proven that life was well worth living even as a muggle.
The end.