Chapter Thirty-Six
Becoming the Broken Hearted

WEEK 23-PART FIVE
NOVEMBER 8TH, 2001

0930 EST
APARTMENT OF SARAH MACKENZIE
GEORGETOWN

Mac was released from the hospital the next morning after another meeting with Melinda. Harm and Mic were at that meeting as well, but they were able to swallow their grudges long enough to avoid Melinda calling security on them. It was awkward, but Mac didn't faint again, so that was enough to consider the meeting to be a success.

Melinda had called the meeting to discuss possible solutions to the paternity predicament. Much to Mac's relief, Melinda gave a solution. One that was better than waiting until the baby was born.

When Melinda asked Harm and Mic if they would be willing to take the fertility test, Harm had nearly jumped out of his seat, agreeing on the spot to do absolutely everything to prove he was the father. Mic had agreed, but was a lot quieter about it. This struck Mac as odd, given his behavior over the past couple of days.

So, she decided to ask him about it. Mac needed a ride home from the hospital, and Harm had an interview he had to conduct at JAG, so that left Mic.

Mac avoided the question for the car ride home, instead opting for idle chit chat, even bringing up the weather. Finally though, when they reached her apartment, she turned to Mic and asked, "You don't really want this baby, do you?"
They had just entered Mac's apartment. Mic had remarked about how not much had changed, as if Harm would've demanded they redecorate every inch of the apartment upon him moving in. Mic was peering into the now-empty guest room when Mac prompted her question. He instantly whirled around, as if he'd been caught in the middle of something wrong.

"What do you mean?" Mic asked, looking at her with wide eyes.

Mac smiled. "It's a simple question, Mic."

He shrugged. "Of course I want this baby. I wouldn't have come back if I didn't."

"Okay," Mac nodded slowly, sitting her purse down on her sofa. "I was just wondering because, from my point of view, it doesn't look like you do."

"Sarah, I wouldn't have come back if I didn't."

"Yeah, you told me that. But-" Mac took a small pause. "Bud came to visit me yesterday in the hospital, and he told me that he emailed you weeks ago. At the time, it didn't strike me as strange. But I had a lot of time to think yesterday and I realized why it seemed so strange-"

"Sarah-" Mic started, but Mac ignored him.

"It seemed strange, because the impulsive, stubborn Mic Brumby I know wouldn't have waited weeks to come back here. Especially if there was a chance I could be having his baby."

Mic said nothing, so Mac took that as her green light to continue.

"And then, this morning when Melinda was talking about the fertility tests, Harm practically jumped at the opportunity, but you said nothing. Practically nothing, at least."

"I just-it's a lot to process so quickly," Mic explained. "I'm sorry if I came off as aloof. I've only been back a few days."

"You've had Bud's email since October 2nd, Mic. I asked Bud, and I don't think he'd lie to me." Mac replied. "And you had time to reinstate your commission with the Australian Navy. You've had time to process this."

"I-I got busy with work," Mic said, knowing what a weak excuse it was as soon as he said it. He ran his fingers through his hair, looking down at his feet.

Mac laughed despite herself. "Work? Seriously? That's the best excuse you could come up with?"

"It's a valid excuse, Sarah."

"No," Mac shook her head. "It's not a valid excuse, not when it comes to this baby. If you really wanted this baby, if you really wanted to be a father, you would've dropped everything and came here as soon as you found out."

"I wish I could have-"

"Harm dropped everything. He's been with me since the day he found out I was pregnant and hasn't moved an inch since. This morning, he jumped at the chance to prove he was this baby's father-"

"I see Harm being the gold standard hasn't changed," Mic said, not even trying to hide the edge in his voice.

Mac sighed. "That's not the point, Mic" she said, even though it kind of was the point. "I need someone who is going to stay by my side and jump at the chance to be in my child's life. Even if you are the biological father, if you can't be 110% committed, I don't want you to be in my child's life."

Mic was silent for a few moments. Mac looked at him expectantly, knowing he would come up with a retaliation soon enough. It would probably be another jab at Harm.

"I didn't want to come back," he finally said.

"What?"

"I didn't want to come back," Mic repeated. "At first. But then the guilt got to me, and I decided to come. If I knew you were with Rabb, I probably wouldn't have come. I wanted to come back to do the right thing. I didn't want to be the asshole who got his fiance pregnant and ditched her. And I still don't want to be that person, but I would be lying if I said I really wanted to be a father. At least right now. At least-"

"Not with me," Mac finished. "You want to be a father. We talked about kids while we were engaged. You just don't want kids with me."

"Sarah, I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be," Mac told him. "I knew we were done at the airport back in June."

Mic winced. "I shouldn't have done that."

"But you did, and it's okay," Mac sighed. "We both know things were never gonna work out between us."

Mac's comment hung in the air, and there was more silence. Mic and Mac both had trouble meeting each other's eyes, and Mac halfway expected Mic to just leave.

He didn't, though. "I thought-" he cleared his throat. "I thought if I came back, if I saw you, all the old feelings would come back, but they didn't."

Flashback

The night before
McMurphy's Tavern

Melinda had gone home, so it was just Nathan and Mic. The three of them had gotten along well, as well as three people randomly showing up at the same bar could get along. Mic had gotten the semi-watered down history of Melinda and Nathan's entire relationship, from beginning to end. Now Nathan and Mic were just making idle small talk.

"How did you know it was over?" Mic asked.

"What?"

"How did you know things were over between you and Melinda?"

Nathan sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Mic quickly backtracked. "You know what, it's none of my business. I'm sorry I asked-"

"No, no it's fine," Nathan shook his head. "I'll tell you."

"If it makes you feel any better, I walked out on Sarah in the middle of the airport."

Nathan smirked. "At least you left spontaneously. I planned how I was gonna leave. I already had the job lined up before I left, and I purposely planned to leave during one of her shifts, so she couldn't catch me before I left," he looked at Mic. "I know, I'm the biggest asshole of the year."

Mic shrugged. "I'm not one to judge, mate."

"Actually, when I left, I didn't think it would be permanent," Nathan said. "Melinda and I have been together over a decade; I didn't think I'd be able to live without her. I was expecting to regret everything and come crawling back with my tail between my legs."

"That's what I thought too," Mic agreed.

Nathan nodded. "But I didn't," he continued. "I didn't think about her once on the flight, and when I landed in DC, I realized I didn't even miss her. That's why I knew it was over."

Mic only nodded, taking a swig of his beer.

Nathan turned to look at him "Did you miss Sarah?"

November 8th, 2001 - Present Day

Apartment of Sarah Mackenzie

"Look, I know how this is going to sound-"

"Just say it, Mic."

"Over the past few months, I haven't missed you. The past few months have been great, actually."

Mac nodded. "They've been great for me too, up until this point, at least," she couldn't resist adding that last part. Even though their conversation was going more civil than Mac had expected, she wanted to be just a little spiteful.

Mic sighed again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come."

"No," Mac said. "I shouldn't have lied."

"This isn't your fault, Sarah."

"Oh yes it is."

"Don't let Harm guilt you."

Mac smirked. "Even when we're not together, you can't resist dissing him."

"I guess it's a force of habit," Mic shrugged, a small smile on his face.

"He's not guilting me, by the way," Mac said, even though she wasn't sure how true that statement was. "I'm doing a good enough job of that on my own."

"Okay," Mic nodded. "I'm just checking."

Mac smiled. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

Mic walked over to her, ducking down to place a light kiss on her cheek. "Bye Sarah," he said. "You're going to be a great mother. Don't worry about Rabb."

"Thank you," Mac said. "And you're the person I'm not going to be worrying about anymore, not Harm."

1100 EST

JAG HEADQUARTERS

FALLS CHURCH, VIRGINIA

Harm woke up in a surly mood, which was probably why his interview with his client didn't go well. He didn't want to admit that the interview went badly because of him, as to keep his surly mood from getting surlier, but there was really no getting around it. Sturgis had noticed, but hadn't said anything. Harm could feel him watching him, though, which had only made Harm more irritated.

What sealed the deal on Harm's horrible mood for that day was when he came out of his client meeting and saw Mic Brumby waiting for him in his office.
"What do you want?" Harm demanded as soon as he entered, not bothering with any niceties. The last thing he felt was nice.

"I wanted to come and tell you I'm leaving," Mic answered plainly.

"Good," Harm dropped his stack of files down onto his desk. "Then why are you still here?"

"Because I haven't packed my bags yet."

"What?" Harm looked up. Mic nodded.

"I'm going back to Australia," he said. "I'll be out of your hair as soon as I'm able to click the heels of my red slippers together. As they say, there's no place like home."

"What?"

"I'm not coming back to JAG. I talked to the Admiral earlier. Turns out he never had the time to process my paperwork," Mic smirked.

Harm said nothing; he only stared at Mic. Finally, he spoke, his voice so low it was barely audible. "You son of a bitch."

"Excuse me?"

"So you never even wanted to be a father," Harm said. "Did you just decide to come back here to ruin what Mac and I had going?"

Mic shrugged. "Here's a thought, mate. Maybe since it only took three days for your relationship to implode, it wasn't that strong in the first place."

"Go to hell."

Harm was practically seething, but Mic seemed oddly calm. "I'm just making an observation, Harm. There's no need to get angry."

"Yes there is," Harm snapped. "There is a need, Brumby. You walk out on Mac, without giving a damn, and then you waltz in five months later like nothing happened. Meanwhile, I've been here for Mac. I've been her shoulder to cry on, and I've helped her with absolutely everything she's needed. Even if you are the baby's father, that doesn't change the fact that Mac chose me."

"I would get off your high horse, mate," Mic replied. "Last time I checked, Mac was just as angry with you as she is with me," he stood up to leave. "I would try and curb your temper if I were you. It doesn't mix well with fatherhood."

As soon as Mic left, Harm got up and slammed his door shut.

1900 EST
APARTMENT OF SARAH MACKENZIE
GEORGETOWN

Harm's mood didn't improve in time for dinner, and Mac was trying to be pleasant for the sake of her own sanity. She was hoping her good mood would rub off on Harm, but by the time their plates were both cleared, it became clear Harm was content to be a grump.

"I figured you'd be in a better mood," Mac said, knowing she was heading into dangerous territory. "You won, after all."

"What do you mean?" Harm asked as he stood, picking up his plate and glass. He began to head into the kitchen.

"Mic left. My baby only has one possible father now," Mac spoke over her shoulder.

"I am happy. I just had a bad day," Harm returned from the kitchen and sat back down. He didn't offer to take up Mac's dishes like he usually did; Mac decided to ignore the slight.

"If this is your version of happy. I hate to see you angry."

Harm sighed. "Seriously, Mac?" he demanded.

"What?" Mac shrugged. "I'm just trying to lighten the mood, Harm."

"I have a right to be angry."

"I never said you didn't," Mac replied. "I'm just trying to see the silver lining. The past few days haven't been exactly easy for me, Harm. Are you forgetting I was in the hospital yesterday?"

"Why do you keep playing the victim?"

Mac stared at him in disbelief. "Excuse me?"

Harm stood up, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm not trying to sound like an ass, Mac, but you kind of brought this all on yourself."

"It's not like I got pregnant on my own," Mac snapped. "And you're doing a terrible job at not sounding like an ass, Harm."

"You lied to me."

"I'm sorry. You haven't exactly been a saint, either."

"Oh really?" Harm asked, beginning to pace.

Mac nodded. "You would have rather argued with Mic than try and be there for me."

"I tried. I did," Harm answered. "But you made it kind of difficult when you completely blindsided me with the fact that I may not be the father of our child."

"You know, I really don't think you're being fair right now, but I can't say that because I'll sound like too much of a victim to you."

"Don't make me out to be the bad guy."

Mac stood up, picking up her dishes. "You're doing a good enough job of that on your own," she said over her shoulder.

When she came back out to the dining room, Harm had stopped pacing and was just looking at her. There was a mixture of pain and anger in his eyes, which made it hard for Mac to meet his eyes. She was hurt and angry too, but she couldn't say that to Harm because Harm was the reason she was hurt and angry.

"Maybe this was a bad idea," Mac said under her breath before she could stop herself. As soon as she heard herself say it, her blood ran cold. She felt Harm's gaze so intensely it felt like needles were poking into her skin.

"What?"

She looked up to meet Harm's intense gaze. Her own gaze was pleading. "I didn't mean that," she said. It was obvious Harm didn't believe her.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked. His tone was deadly calm; it sounded like pure ice. "You want the kid when everything's perfect but, as soon as the going gets tough, you want out? What the hell is the matter with you? What are you going to do? Ditch our kid like your mom ditched you?"

Mac's blood ran cold again, this time accompanied by a feeling akin to having her heart ripped out of her chest. Harm's eyes widened, and Mac knew he wished he could take it back. But he couldn't. It was already too late.

"Get out," she whispered.

"Mac-"

"I said get out."

"I didn't mean-"

Mac shook her head. "I don't care. Get out," she walked past Harm, heading for the coat rack where he had his bomber jacket hanging. She ripped it off the hook and shoved it at him. "We're done."

"Can we please-"

"No," Mac tried to ignore the tremor in her voice. "I'm done talking. It's over."

Wow...when I re-read this chapter to edit it, I did NOT remember putting this much drama in it. Mac just can't catch a break, can she? And oh Harm, way to stick your foot in your mouth. Big time.

Thanks for reading!

-Harper