I had just finished Macbeth when I got up to make myself a tea. Charlie would be home in moments, so it was a reflex to look out the window and see if he was coming down the street. Instead, I saw my truck sitting there as if it'd hadn't even left this morning.
I was just about to start making dinner when Charlie got home with some of Harry Clearwater's fish fry. Charlie breathed out a sigh of relief that I didn't waste my time. I laughed and told him he could just call in the future and he mumbled that he forgot. Then he looked around the kitchen, still stuck in its own way, but now everything really did feel cheerful, sunny.
I don't know what it was but today felt like it really sunk in that Bella's here. Wonder why that is? It's nice coming home and someones put on the porch light. It's been a bit. Charlie scratched his nose, making small talk about the plants while he got our silverware out and I grabbed the plates.
I smiled, letting Charlie work through his sudden epiphany while I used the leftover warm water from tea to make some cider. Charlie wanted a beer citing that this particular meal tasted better with an Mt. Rainier.
"You say that like I know what it is." I took my plate and went over to the table.
"I'm glad you don't." Charlie buzzed. I Don't know what I would have said if she knew different types of beer. "It's a particular type of poison." He sat down across from me and started to eat.
"So, Mt. Rainier," I said.
"What about it?"
"I have a friend who's hiking around Goat Rocks. Is it nice?"
"Not right now, it isn't." Charlie said in between bites, "Bears. The only times I know people go that way is when it's hunting season."
I hummed, wondering what Edward and his brother would be doing next to bears. Charlie, worried for whichever friend it was said I should let them know to carry some bear mace and make sure to follow the Carnes. I promised I'd pass it along and then mentioned the La Push trip.
Charlie was excited for me, Glad she's really setting roots here and has some decent friends. Not that I should be worried. He was also debating taking some more time off to spend together especially with how alone I was here sometimes. I mentioned who I knew was attending and noticed when he crinkled his nose at one or two and nodded in approval at others.
He offered to do the dishes, and after the day I'd had, I wasn't going to tell him no. I left him with a bemused expression as I reminded him to hydrate after his beer.
After spending so much time with Edward, I was curious to know what I'd dream about tonight. It'd been a while since I was able to dream of the future, or at least pleasant things. As I stepped into the salt circle, I debated whether I should poke that metaphorical bear and see if the dream from the meadow was a vision or wishful thinking. After all, all I'd got were vague images and sensations.
Maybe that was inevitable, though. If I couldn't hear Edward in real life, then maybe he'd be just as elusive in my dreams. Besides, what would I see? Instead of trying to conjure up visions of the future, I decided to go to bed. After all, time would pass quicker if I ignored it.
Friday was more challenging than I anticipated, dodging questions on my fainting spell, having to deal with daydreams of people I didn't know — having them "save me" or catch me as I fainted was worse. I'd somehow been labeled as a damsel in distress in other's minds. Some of these daydreams bordered on crude, and I cringed everytime the me in their thoughts said, "How can I thank you…" I wished they'd save the fantasies for when they were alone.
I'd never focused so hard on Jessica before. She was miffed that Mike helped me out of the biology classroom. Which I didn't understand. She didn't genuinely seem to like him but liked the idea of him. Much like Jess had an idea of Edward, and when that didn't fit, she vented to Lauren. Who comforted Jess with gossip about him and his family. Now I was struggling with someone whose personality changed so much I was getting whiplash.
One second she didn't like me, then the next, it was Lauren badmouthing me, and finally, I was part of the girl group. Today, she wanted the gossip, and without Lauren, she was just as nice as she'd been at coffee.
During Trig, she asked, "So what did Edward Cullen want yesterday?"
"He knew I didn't like blood." I lied, then continued sheepishly. "He tried to warn me about class, but I thought I could make it through."
"That explains why you looked so mad."
"Did I?" I tried to reflect on it yesterday but couldn't recall.
"Yeah, never mind," Lauren mentioned that Bella looked mad like they were debating or something. It must not be right then. Then again, why'd he want to see her? "It's just weird. He only ever sits with his family." Why you?
Images filtered in my head, her daydreaming of being held, jostled playfully into lockers, Edward leaving notes behind. All of them fantasies, and each speaking how much she wanted a grand love story. I had to bite back a sympathetic look that she'd probably take for pity.
"Like I said, he was just trying to warn me."
"Are you guys friends?"
"We are," I hesitated, "kind of?"
She huffed, her dark curls slipping over her shoulder. She didn't know why it seemed so easy for me. She'd tried for ages and kept getting the cold shoulder. Sure, he'd never expressed his interest, but she thought she could try. Again. And again. It hit her self-confidence hard.
I jostled her, "Enough about that. I heard you moved here too? Why didn't you tell me?" I lied. I'd plucked that information from her mind earlier and debated whether or not to bring it up.
She looked confused, then smiled. "I was just a kid when we moved."
"Yeah, but it's nice to relate to someone. I've moved around a lot, here, California, Phoenix, almost Florida. I feel like I've dodged that bullet."
"Ugh, I think I'll stay to the West Coast, but I think New York would be cool."
I nodded, "Where are you thinking of going to college?"
She started, She's asking me about school? and I wondered if I shouldn't have asked, she was almost shy as she responded. "What do you mean?"
"You're smart. I wanted to know if you had any plans?" I explained.
I was thinking Columbia, but it's not like it's a sure thing. I'd need to beat out any of the Cullen's to be valedictorian or anyone else. Laghari and Daws too. "I want to go to an Ivy League college, but you know."
"Know what?"
She shook her head, "Small town, all the way across the country, opportunities to buff up a resume here is pretty nonexistent."
"That's debatable. Maybe if you take the opportunity to do something like a charity or maybe with volunteer work, then you can buff your resume."
"You make it sound easy." Like I haven't thought of that. What could I even do?
"It's not. It would be starting with you, and the planning and construction will probably be ridiculously hard, especially if you want to do real change vs. superficial change. Other charities and what they've done is probably a good starting place?"
Jessica's mind was working, even as what I said was registered and then broken down. It was interesting seeing her serious all of the sudden as she started categorizing things in Forks. Port Angeles, and then moving towards Seattle. Working with youth, helping the elderly was a temporary resolution, but she figured it could get her a foot in the door. Mental health was something that flickered through her mind once or twice.
She was still thinking about it when we left class, and I was impressed and bemused by the change—also kind of envious. I'd started talking because I was curious. I didn't know how driven she could be. Maybe if she had magic, she'd be much better at it. I shrugged it off and followed her to lunch, helping distract others when they called out to her, and whatnot, I could at least help her focus.
Everyone wanted to talk about our plans and the beach. The group of five apparently turned into a group of 12. Despite his best efforts, Mike wasn't able to keep it from Tyler, who invited his friends too. Mike promised sunshine and blue sky, and despite everyone shaking their heads, I knew he'd be right.
I'd paid little attention to the Cullens, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice sitting with their heads huddled together. I wanted to thank Alice for driving my car when I had the time. I never got around to it being pulled back into the conversation. We finished eating and went off to class almost as a group, which made it all the weirder that I got to hear Lauren voicing her thoughts to Mike.
"—Don't know why Bella doesn't just sit with the Cullens from now on." Thinks she's too good for us now.
"She's my friend; she sits with us," Mike whispered back defensively. Like Lauren isn't jealous of Bella enough as it is, now she's trying to get rid of her. Over my dead body.
It'd be sweet if it came from him as a friend. Instead, I was struggling to fight the wave of possessiveness he'd somehow sent my way. How many times would I have to spell it out or give him hints? At this point, I really would sit with the Cullens, or maybe even my truck, just to see if the distance would give me a blanket from him. I let Jess and Angela pass me, smothering myself in their thoughts instead.
The light woke me up. It was filling my room in its entirety. As I dressed, I doubted it'd be warm. After all, it was still winter, but I let myself live a little by wearing one of my lightweight off-shoulder knits. I was sure everyone else would be excited.
Outside, the air was crisp and bright. I held a thermos of coffee and a bag of snacks, just beef jerky, a cup of peanut butter, and apples, and got into my truck, knowing that I was probably going to be put into someone else's car. I held onto the hope that this would be a good day. If I'd accidentally used my magic, the setting would calm me enough to fix it. At least I'd hoped so. Maybe I'd revert back to not being able to handle all this nature.
Newtons' Olympic Outfitters store was North, just off the highway. There was a long stretch of other stores, but only the Newton's had a good amount of sports equipment and backpacks attached to the window. Mikes' Suburban and Tyler's newer Sentra were parked in the lot. A small group of people between them.
Eric was there with his arm slung around a boy I didn't know — but recognized as Conner. Ben was here standing next to Angela. She looked the happiest I'd ever seen her. I hoped Angela hadn't asked Eric yet. Jess was there, standing with Lauren, three other girls from various classes too. As I got out of the truck, one gave me a dirty look and whispered something to Lauren. I ignored both of them and their oddly scornful looks and tuned into Angela.
No one said Ben'd be here. It'll be nice talking with him.
Mike called out, "You came! I told you it'd be sunny today!"
"Exciting." I gestured to the jacket in my arms. "If it gets past 75, let me know." For now, I was trying to savor the sun on my arms.
"We're just waiting for Lee and Samantha… unless you invited someone," Mike added.
I wondered how far away Goat Rocks was? No matter. He could have probably left twenty minutes ago with how fast he ran. "Nope," I lied. I heard Lauren's friend snort. "Should I have?"
"No, these are our people." Mike looked satisfied. "Will you ride in my car? It's between that," he gestured to the suburban with a little football bumper sticker, "or Lee's mom's minivan." Better to make it seem like Lee's van is a mess, even though it is.
What a hard sell, "I can ride with you."
"Sure! Great." He smiled, and it was so easy to make him happy. But despite his thoughts, I'd try to sit in the back. He promised aloud that I could have shotgun.
Lauren jerked Jessica and whispered to her. Jessica looked between Mike and me Yeah, I should sit next to Mike. "I thought I called shotgun already?"
I smiled, responding quickly. "I don't want to steal someone else's seat."
Mike hurriedly said, "You aren't." What is Jessica doing? Maybe Lauren was right, and she likes me, but come on. I obviously like Bella.
I shot a look at Lauren and narrowed my eyes. So many things made a lot more sense now. Lee arrived with Samantha and two others. One tall, dark-haired boy, I'd recognized from biology. Nicholas, I think, but his table partner Beth either wasn't invited or was busy. Jessica narrowed her eyes at him, and I recalled from her thoughts that he was someone she was also trying to beat for valedictorian.
At this point, I thought anyone would be better than Mike, and thankfully when everyone was piling in the cars, Eric had tried to sit in with me too. I used the confusion to sit beside Jessica, shoving her in with Nicholas.
How'd I wind up like this? He mentally sighed, and I hoped I wasn't making a terrible mistake.
Mike was less than pleased seeing me in the back, but one of the gym girls shot her shot and slid in the passenger seat before her friend, the same one that shot the dirty look, joined too. It was going to be a fun ride.
It was only fifteen miles to La Push from Forks, miles of dense, gorgeous forests edging the road with the occasional logging clearing. Those were almost ominous, piles of branches intertwined and hundreds of stumps on hills. It felt like the forest was laid bare and raw. And my heart clenched whenever we drove past those areas, which thankfully weren't many.
Our windows were down, causing our hair to whip around our heads. Thankfully I'd had two hair ties, and when Jessica's curls whipped Nicholas's way, she put it all into a bun on his head with an apologetic shrug. I would much rather be with Ben and Angela. They were ahead of us, and an aura of joy coming from the car told me that everything was going well. Whenever we got too close to the other car, I could siphon through the others and latch onto what was being said.
Wow, Angela is so… I don't even know, perfect? Amazing? Funny? It doesn't seem like it covers it. I just wish I'd talked to her in freshman year—
Our car swerved to avoid a pothole. And I frowned at Mike. Only to have my attention grabbed by Jessica's flushed face. I'd missed something.
He's surprisingly muscular? Jessica thought, and Nicholas coughed.
She smells surprisingly refreshing, sorta sweet. He turned to look out the window.
Maybe it wasn't a terrible mistake after all? I had a lot on my plate, and it wasn't like I wanted to play matchmaker, even if it seemed fun. I sighed, I should just focus on my own issues, but it was nice to see others work around their problems. But, still, it was interesting seeing Jessica interact with someone she didn't typically. Nicholas wasn't bad himself, sweeping through his mind. He's been invited by Lee because he was too wound up on school work. I'll try to stay out of it, just like with Ben and Angela. After all, I'd already done enough.
I continued watching us drive over the Quillayute River, glad to have a window seat the closer we got to the beach. I could remember going to the beaches around La Push when I was younger with Charlie. The mile-long crescent of First Beach was the one we visited the most and was just as breathtaking in my memories. Only now, I could handle the buzzing. The water churned a bluish steel grey, white-capped as it heaved itself onto the shore, pushing seafoam further up.
Islands rose out of the harbor waters with steep cliff sides, uneven but still teeming with life as evergreens and Sitka spruce-topped each. The beach only had so much sand, a thin border before millions of large smooth stones laid out in uniform from a distance. I felt full the closer we got, and it wasn't till we were piling out of the car I knew why. Everything that buzzed against my skin was from the stones tossed ashore.
Quartz, jasper, and agate mixed with stones that were sea green, lavender, blue-grey, and dull gold. I was walking on stones that had been churned by moon and tide, charged and pouring their energy to me. No wonder I couldn't handle it as a child.
"Bella?" Jessica said from my side worriedly.
"... Yes?"
"You're nose is bleeding."
I quickly pulled myself back and touched my nose. She was right. She already had a tissue out for me. I laughed, "Sorry, my nose gets dry when the air is," I gestured up, "— salty, It's been fun."
"Okay," She handed me her pack of tissues, She probably needs this more than I do. "Here, they're yours."
"Thanks, you're an angel." I rolled it up and stuffed it. Not very graceful, but I hoped it wouldn't be a constant thing here.
The air smelt like salt, it was coming off the waves in loud crashes and gentle swells. People stretched outside of the car like they'd been in it for hours rather than minutes. Clouds circled the sky, looking like the wallpaper from A Toy Story. We each helped unload, except dirty look girl, whose name was Britney. She left with her friend, Kelley, to join Lauren.
We made our way down to the beach. Mike was leading the way to logs worn smooth by the sea. It felt weird calling such long logs driftwood, but they were, and they were sat into a large ring that had been used for parties before. A firepit sat lower in the center and was larger than any I'd seen before. Eric and Ben gathered smaller branches of driftwood around the edge of the forest. Soon a low teepee was built on the old ash.
"Have you ever seen a driftwood fire?" Mike asked me. I sat on one of the benches—the other girls clustered beside me, gossiping excitedly along another log. Mike got on his knees by the teepee and held a lighter out to try and start the fire.
"No, not many ocean bonfires in the desert."
"You'll like this then." He said, lighting another small branch and shoving it under the others. "Watch the colors."
The flames climbed up, yellow on top and blue on the bottom. "Pretty." I smiled slightly. Then winced as a thought, not my own, entered.
She's just going to hit on everyone, isn't she?
I blushed, not sure which girl thought it. A voice I didn't recognize, but immediately I tried to keep my expression the same. I was pretty sure I failed.
Mike continued, unfazed by the change in my face, "The salt does it. It is very pretty." He looked at me as he said it.
Ew. Barf. Laurens voice that time.
I let it roll off of my back, instead feeling the energy in the crystals around me. With so much positivity, I was able to bounce back and focus on the others. Jess was standing next to Lauren, who resumed telling her she should ask Mike to the dance. Following her advice, she went and claimed his attention. Meanwhile, Ben picked up and showed rocks to Angela after figuring out that she knew what types they were.
I watched the blue-yellow flames twist smoke and cackle. It was relaxing. I could have fallen asleep happy as I was. Suddenly I was told a half-hour passed, some of the boys wanted to hike to the nearby tidal pools. I would have liked to go. I remembered hopping around them with Charlie and falling into them more than I could count. Despite Edward's warning, I had no intention of falling into the ocean. But looking at the waves, I might go in willingly if I rolled up my jeans high enough.
Lauren made a declaration rather than a decision. She didn't want to hike. Her shoes, wedges, already covered in sand, wouldn't be able to handle it. Several of the girls couldn't, actually. Angela and Jessica were at least wearing sneakers and decided to come with for different reasons. I was just excited to get away from Lauren.
The pro hiking group mainly were people I knew the names of. I got multiple smiles when I joined. The hike wasn't long at all. We went through the woods around the coast. Our sounds of laughter and chatter sang along the silhouette of the ominous forest, The rays of light playing through the trees. We paced over roots and fallen branches from a previous storm. Eventually, we found the rocky shore again and the low tide.
Shallow pools of water sat aside pebbled banks. Mike hopped along ahead. Ben was chivalrous enough to help Angela along. Tyler stayed beside me and offered to do the same. After our weird conversation about prom, I'd been more than a little wary. I let him help me over a large pool but started walking to examine on my own. Jessica was also solo, being surprisingly careful as she crouched and stuck her hand in one of the pools to touch a starfish.
Everything was fine, till the rock she was on suddenly tilted, and Nicholas, who was closest, grabbed and pulled her back, so she didn't land in the tide pool.
"Hey, be careful," Nicholas said to her.
Jessica looked up, startled at him, "Thanks." I was right. He is strong.
He helped her up, and she looked at the palms of her hands which had little divots from where her palms pressed flat onto the ground. One of her nails was broken, and she sighed. Meanwhile, Nicholas pulled a multitool from his pocket and offered her some nail clippers. She whispered another thanks, and I moved on cautiously ahead.
Even after Jessica's near-miss, the others were fearlessly leaping over rocks, perching on edges, and climbing down toward the ocean. I found a little crab, who scurried off, which was one of my favorite things aside from the chartreuse amone swaying in their pools. I sat on a stable-looking rock and just took it all in as much in as I could.
It was amazing how so many things just were. Starfish stuck around us on rocks. Shells, both twisted and broken by the surf, returned to the cycle of life as a small black eel ate his fill in between green weeds waiting for the higher tide to take him back. It was quiet for a moment. I was able to close my eyes and just listen to the waves and gulls. Nearby chatter faded. It was like I wasn't even at the beach anymore.
And then I wasn't. I was on a mountain. Perched on a large blue-grey jagged boulder. The sky was a deeper color, cerulean. Clouds dotted the distance. Fields of green shrubs and winding dirt dotted a steep descent with other boulders. I was horrified. Did I teleport?
I covered my mouth to swallow the urge to scream — my heart in my throat panic surging through me. How was I going to explain this? I'd have to — I gagged — I'd have to manipulate all their thoughts. I struggled to stand up on the rock and turned only to see Mt. Rainer on the horizon. I needed to go back. I took deep breaths, trying to think of the best way down when I heard a heavy growl mixed with a bark. I stilled and slowly turned to look at a large brown bear. A grizzly?
It lumbered towards me. The bear looked thinner from waking up from however long it'd been asleep. It kept coming, and I couldn't remember if I should run or freeze. Then, it was gone. Like it'd been hit with a battering ram. A sick sound of roaring both man and bears filled the air as I watched someone, a man — blur around it.
Another person came swiftly standing maybe twenty feet away, watching nonchalantly as the man and bear fight. I gasped, and Edward turned to look at me. His expression changed, switching from nonchalance to shocked uncertainty.
"Bella?—"
"Bella?" Angela shook me.
I blinked, still on the rock near the tide pools. "Yes?" I said cautiously, what'd happened. I swore if teleported.
"You looked like you were sleeping." She whispered. "Everyone's ready to go back."
I saw the group waiting for me. And I slid off the rock to join them, careful since my legs felt like jelly. I didn't really teleport then. But what was that? As if I needed new powers when I was just trying to understand my old ones. Back in the group, some of the boys mentioned they were hungry, so we started to head back.
I was lost in my thoughts, I saw Edward, and he'd seen me, but I hadn't moved, according to Angela. I was sure that the next time I saw him, we would have questions for one other if our patience pledge held anymore — after seeing his brother maul a bear, it filled in another blank. Mike slid back next to me. I wasn't paying too close attention to him, so he broke the silence himself.
"So, I didn't know you meditated," Mike said.
"Sometimes." I finished lamely. I sidestepped a root.
Mike was utterly absorbed in his conversation. My skin continued to buzz even as we got back to First Beach. The group nearly doubled in size. Teenagers from the reservation were setting up near and with our group as they moved new logs for more seats. Eric ran eagerly ran over then he turned to introduce the group.
Mike wandered over to the coolers and began distributing sandwiches. There was enough for everyone, so I could only imagine these guys were also invited. Still, people tore into the food. It was nice that people waited to eat, and I felt bad watching Lauren pick off the bread and cheese for a piece of limp lettuce and turkey.
She glared at Mike the entire time. So much for paleo, huh Mike. Feeling bad, I grabbed my apples and peanut butter and walked over to her. She eyed me warily, great what now?
I sat down next to her with my sandwich. I pulled off the bread and cheese. Then I opened my bag of apple slices. "I thought he said he'd have paleo, glad I bought extra." I smiled at her. "That is unless I'm not just making an assumption?"
"Um. Yeah," She moved over a bit so that she wouldn't touch me.
"Apple?" I held it out to her, she looked at it, and I added. "I ground the peanuts yesterday."
Seriously? Why is it always her? I want it, though, but I don't want to owe her a favor. "I'm good."
I shrugged, "Okay. If you change your mind, it'll be in the cooler." I left to place them there, feeling her watch me as she left.
I joined Angela and Eric with a bigger group, taking bites, and was reintroduced again. A teenager ran over, shouldering between two guys, and then Jacob was standing in the front. "Hey, Bella!"
"Wow, Jake, great to see you!" It was nice to see a familiar face at the moment. The others looked between us briefly, still introducing Jake to the rest of the group. He seemed like he was vibrating with the chance to talk to me. Wonder how that trucks running? Didn't see it at the parking lot. I can wait. I don't want to interrupt.
We all sat down near the fire pit. I chose a spot next to Angela and Ben. Mike bought us sodas. I nodded my thanks then looked to the new group. I could remember Quil, Embry, another Jessica, Paul, Jared, and Jacob. There was a guy, maybe nineteen or twenty, whose name was Sam. He kept giving the kids a bemused look like he was looking at puppies. It didn't feel condescending but protective. There were others too, and I let myself quickly scan their minds if I talked briefly to someone whose name I forgot.
Tyler went over to Quil and Embry to talk about basketball, then made fun of the Spartans football team. Meanwhile, Tyler rather loudly said that the basketball team won their last game on top of all the other chatter. Maybe that'd impress her. It did a bit, but it really impressed Britney, who'd taken my place next to Lauren. At least now I knew what the dirty looks were about.
During lunch, the clouds over the sea started to crowd the blue sky, coming in front of the sun and casting us in shadows briefly. People finished eating and separated into small groups of three or four. Some started an impromptu volleyball game. Others went away to sit and watch the waves while they listened to their I-pods. Most were messing around with one other. The other Jessica said she wanted to go to the Tidepools to show people things they'd possibly missed, and most that stayed the first time followed that group.
Nicholas wanted to go to the village to pick up some peanut brittle for his sister and decided to tag along with Jessica and Mike. Mike asked if I wanted to come with them. But I was sitting and relaxing next to Angela. Enjoying her and her thoughts. Everyone was scattered, and I started feeling like I was overstepping with Angela's mind when Ben came nearer.
I watched as Ben grabbed Angela another soda. Angela took it shyly and tucked her hair behind her ear. Should I ask him to the dance? I know that they said I should ask Eric, but— Ben's the one I like. Bella said she wanted to go as friends, though.
I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from nudging her to say go for it. It wasn't my place. As fun as it would be, I was just waiting for the vision to come true. I figured I'd give them some privacy when the log shifted suddenly. "Woah!"
"Sorry, Bella," Jacob said sheepishly as he put a hand on the log to steady me. Guess I don't know my own strength.
"It's okay. How have you been?"
"Great, so how's the truck."
"Oh, never better. It survived most of the ice."
He grinned, "Hate to break it to you, but we're still in ice weather."
Rolling my eyes, I said, "Just let me believe for a moment I don't have to drive with chains or under 15."
"What happened to drag racing?"
"Well, it's hard finding the underground network in Forks," I joked.
"So you would drag race in a Chevrolet."
"I probably won't win a lot," I said, and he burst out laughing. I smiled, glad that we could have this back and forth. With all the action happening around us, time seemed to go by faster. In the short amount of time we'd been here, we'd done more than I thought I could fit in a Forks day. Memories like photographs tickled the back of my mind.
Jacob was talking, rattling something off about Billy and a fish when I looked towards the ocean in the distance and saw a little girl. Her back was to me, her brown hair in a ponytail, and she stood knee-deep in jeans and a yellow shirt in the rolling waves. I was about to call out, say it was dangerous only to blink, and she was gone.
I felt my heart skip a beat. Jacob had stopped talking and looked from me to the ocean, Is she okay?
"Sorry, I'm fine," I said, catching myself responding to a thought I started to babble. "I just think the oceans so pretty sometimes, you know?"
"Oh, yeah." Weird that didn't look like the face you make when something pretty. Looked scared. "If you say so."
I swallowed, changing the subject, "Anyway, building any other cars?"
I see what she did there. "Yeah, I'm working on a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit. I need a cylinder for that, though."
"I'm not going to pretend to know what that means." I shook my head, "If I see one, I'll get Charlie to hand it over to Billy, though." He smiled, in a friendly way, harmless, and yet Lauren hopped on his expression.
Lauren leaned forward closer to the fire. "So you know Bella too, Jacob?"
"We've sort of known each other since I was born," he laughed, smiling at me again.
"How nice." It doesn't matter if they know each other or not. Like, why do people like her? Screw the apple thing. She's just a kissass. "Bella," she called again, watching my face carefully, a concerned expression on her face. "I was just saying to Tyler that it was too bad none of the Cullens could come out today. Didn't anyone think to invite them?"
"You mean Dr. Carlisle Cullen's family?" Quil said
He and Embry stopped talking to Tyler even as he had his own confused expression. Did we talk about that? Lauren shot them an annoyed look.
"Yes, do you know them?" she asked condescendingly, turning halfway toward him.
Embry looked like he was about to speak, but Sam shushed him. "We know of them. That's enough."
I tilted my head, watching the two of them as Lauren huffed and Tyler moved over to join her. I stared at Quil, he wasn't relaxed, but he wasn't tense either. He was looking towards Sam. In this peculiar way, I couldn't make out, almost like shame?
Sam made a subtle gesture to Jared, who pulled Quil and Embry away. It looked like they were being given a stern lecture. They were far enough away I couldn't hear them, but I was sure I could read their thoughts if I wanted. I ran my gaze back over Sam, the closest one. Sam made me wary. He looked weirdly aware.
Instead of him, I chose Quil. who shuffled, kicking some rocks. Great, another lecture, wonder which secret we nearly gave away this time.
Embry was more subdued, It's not like we were going to talk about the cold ones anyway. Some bedtime story, that is, hardly think they'd believe it.
The cold ones? I hopped to Jared, Kids need to honor tradition. They'll need to with what's coming to them. If only the Cullens hadn't come back, then this wouldn't have been a problem.
It wasn't enough. I tried to see deeper, but Jared's face pinched in pain. He started rubbing his head. Treaty happened ages ago. Elders made a truce so they would stay off our lands, and we wouldn't expose them. Not dangerous to the tribe, vegetarians in a way. Natural enemies to shifters. They've added to their coven, but they don't age— He gasped. Jared's thoughts were ripped from me as a hand clamped around my tricep hard.
I hadn't even seen Sam move. Lauren, Tyler, and Jacob all stared at him as his face was pinched in subdued anger. "You. What are you doing?"
"Nothing." I stammered, wincing at both the pounding headache and also how tight his hand was around my arm. "I'm not doing anything." He stared deep into my eyes, and I blinked, feeling— knowing they were green.
Jacob stood up and said something like, hey, man, let her go. Lauren wondered what I'd done. Tyler looked like he was holding himself back. Sam, meanwhile, just gazed into my eyes, searching for something.
Then he released me. "Jared, gather everyone. We should go home."
Jared nodded, rubbing his head. I felt uncomfortable, shifting on the log while the teens from the reservation packed up around me. Jacob stood, ramrod straight, then decided to go with them, shooting a sympathetic glance my way.
Lauren looked utterly confused. Jesus, what'd she do?
I just stared into the ocean. I'd done something I shouldn't have done. Something that obviously hurt someone else. I didn't feel shame— or embarrassed. It went deeper than that. I swallowed. I was worse than Renee. I knew what I could do, and I forced myself into his mind, dug around, gotten information that wasn't mine, and I don't know if I felt terrible because I'd done it. Or if it was because I'd been caught.
After that, I couldn't shut off the voices even if I wanted to. Mike, Jessica, and Nicholas returned. Each haggard in their own way. Jessica had asked Mike to the dance, only to be turned down. Nicholas had awkwardly been standing nearby to watch it happen. It was brutal, the way Mike cut her off, said he was waiting for me to ask him.
Jessica's eyes were puffy, and she sat next to Lauren, who was still too focused on thinking I was just as freakish as the Cullens. Angela understood what'd happened quicker than Lauren did—moving from Ben and sitting beside her, placing a comforting hand on her arm.
Mike came over and sat close to me. I should have gotten her to ask me earlier. I already heard that Tyler and Eric asked her. "Hey, can I talk to you?"
Loud. Loud. Loud. I wanted to leave. The fire was too warm. The sun was too bright, I itched. I itched so much. The buzzing on my skin was loud in my ears, and the waves churned loudly forward, unending on the horizon.
"Bella?" He put his hand on my arm. It felt like fire. "What are you doing?"
I couldn't speak. I already felt the magic in my throat, like a cork ready to burst on champagne. I closed my eyes and put my head on my knees. How do I let it out? It was too much, so much. "Stop, please."
It burst. And torrents of rain, buckets, poured down. Everyone squealed, moving quickly, grabbing all the things we'd bought with us. It was the coldest rain I'd ever experienced, and it covered everything. People rushed, trying to grab coolers and jackets and they forgot me for the moment.
I was just sitting on the log, watching the fire die out.
Angela was my saving grace. Without her, I don't think I would have made it back to the car. At least without it looking weird. She'd pulled up my hood as we trampled and skidded across the rocks towards the parking lot. The rain and wind making us speed up our steps as the others who went to the tide pools burst through the trees. Everyone scattered. Some laughed. I crawled into the car first, ignoring the summons for another position at shotgun.
Jessica was beside herself with depression. Her thoughts, heartbroken. I don't understand, Lauren said he liked me?
Nicholas, squeezed in his original position near the door. Uncomfortable, as he just placed a box of tissues on his knee. I'd never seen her cry before. He whispered as the car started. "You gave yours to Bella."
Angela just stared out the window, thinking it'd have been nice to ride back with Ben, and Lauren twisted around the front seat to occupy Tyler's attention. I simply laid my head on the back of the seat, feeling more and more empty the further away from the beach we got. I spent what little was left of my energy closing my eyes and trying very hard not to think.