Some rules are meant to be followed. Others were made to be broken. John decided the rule of not writing about his ordeals was one of the latter. Years later, Alex finds a notebook in the attic and decides he needs to know what it means. His decision changes a lot.

Worm! Alex. Basically, one day he finally has enough and a bunch of roaches come in and eat the villain du jour down to the bone. WARNING FOR GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF BUGS EATING A GUY!

Alex was somehow conned by Tom into going to some sort of mud park. They both end up completely soaked in mud.

Alex is secretly a witch who is sporadically haunted by the spirit of his father. Could be crack, could be Devilverse.

Alex has been permanently put off of British food after the Winston Yu incident. Watch as he has a wholesome night out trying out a new cuisine. He'll start with French because SPITE.

Yassen knew that he should have just gotten the overpriced furniture from SCORPIA's contractors. Why did he decide to be cheap and go with Craigslist?

Alex and Sabina's date is interrupted by someone from MI6. Sabina, not knowing what the fuck is going on and thinking that THIS IS A KIDNAPPING, tazes the bastard with the new tazer that Alex got her. :))

Alex Rider is sick of people dying because of him, so he does the only thing he can-he becomes someone else. 19 year old Matthew Smith passes Selection and joins the SAS, but not everyone seems to appreciate his company...at first. Maybe these people he swore he wouldn't get close to will become the family he needs...unless his enemies are closer than he thinks. K-Unit and OCs!

Alex gets sent back in time to a high piracy period. There are two things he's good at. Hunting and not getting scurvy. He now has to help the crew get ahold of enough gold doubloons that he can touch one, since that's his way back.

Alex works customer service at a grocery store. He must not murder any customers.

Scorpia kills Jack. Alex lives with K-unit. Chaos ensues. Now with an added side of Fluff and hurt/comfort!

Alex Rider dies and makes a deal to go back and fix everything with a suspicious figure...surprise! It works. Now he is back four years before the day his uncle dies. Can he train and pass as his age without raising suspicion? Good thing keeping up a front is what he was trained for... Note: Rating may increase. Updates are aimed at once a month, and never more than two apart.

Jack sneaks Alex out for some unhealthy snacks away from Ian's health nut self. What are older sisters for?

Alex gets all of his qualifications to be a zookeeper in order. He loves animals, okay? Then, his first job is taking care of a pet for a supervillain. Should he call MI6? Nahhhh

Brendan Chase knows he's a scummy person. He does not appreciate being blamed for the Australian Prime Minister's own corruption and blunders. Time to invite Alex to dinner to expose him. Rating may change.

Alex is suddenly body-swapped with Brendan Chase. What's hilarious is that nobody is noticing the fucking difference for either of them.

Doctor Three starts sending Alex 'Thank you' flowers and signed copies of his most recent books after he kills Razim and The Grimaldi Twins.

In a turn of events, Winston Yu and Alex Rider turn out to be cousins. All sorts of fun ensues. Set after Skeleton Key.

Nile is allergic to cats. The stupid tiger that Mrs. Rothman insisted on getting and then ignored after about a month loves him for some ungodly reason.

MI6 never had a good track record when it came to Alex Rider. When his most recent mission goes predictably off the rails, it takes ten days without contact before anyone in London reacts. In retrospect, MI6 should probably have looked a little sooner. Or: Alex becomes an accidental supervillain. Mostly fluff by Alex Rider standards.

Fiona falls in love with Alex after he saves her in the train tunnel, which I feel makes more sense than the abrupt breakoff of their relationship in the original story.

Alex is finally rescued from his creepy stalker (cough, Yassen keeps following him, cough). Alex has never been more terrified of an old lady with a cane. Major Character Death.

Alex's annual review is coming up again. He has to write a short summary of his achievements for the year. Apparently "feeding a supervillain to alligators" doesn't count - that doesn't seem fair!

Alex Rider has torched many places before but he never deliberately locked the doors and windows until now.

Steph never thought she'd have to sign an OSA. She didn't know that her husband had already signed too many to count. She didn't know how good Tom was at acting. She certainly didn't know he could, let alone would, lie to her. Right now, she isn't too sure what to think. But all will be revealed...