Date posted: 7th July 2022

It's a big chonker this time! Thanks for PanzerHippo for helping with this, as usual Go check out his Laughing Coffin's Justice Division and tell him I sent ya.

Chapter 17: Investigative Journalism

Email subject: GGO Report - Interview Collection

From: RidwanMason-at-HonestGamingStaff dot com

To: AdrianGervais-at-HonestGamingEditorial dot com

Adrian,

I've got notes, pictures, and interview transcripts. As usual, taking the time to translate all of this from Japanese into English is a much harder job than actually interviewing people in the game. There's a bit of an error at the end, you'll see what I mean.

Ridwan

Attachment: ZIP File (3.4 gb):

With the rate of urbanisation in the modern world, it is estimated almost 70% of the earth's 8.5 billion inhabitants live in urban areas. With wars now taking place in dense cities and towns as well as the open sea, the days of huge field battles are coming to an end, at least according to a Pentagon research paper published five years ago. Guerilla insurgents, terrorists, cartels, and revolutionaries, still live out in the wild, running their own military operations, but the focus had shifted in the last twenty years.

Urban warfare is nightmarish: tight halls, lack of vision, darkness, traps, ambushes, and the utter fear of being entombed. In that sense, urban warfare is the closest equivalent to a fantastical dungeon dive. Unfortunately, there be no treasure at the end of this dungeon, only a dragon.

Sort of.

I cowered behind a long rusted oil drum; the thin metal sheet could have been punctured by a blade, much less a bullet. But it was all the cover between me and the creatures that lurk underground, protecting their home against the Vatborn.

The brave soldiers of the Mobile Guard engage in vicious close-quarters-combat with the mutants. Knives, axes, and fists; pistols, shotguns and SMGs; even bricks, wrenches and bottles were used. The Deep Dwellers, called so for they shunned the sun, fought with the ferocity of a people invaded. It was said the Republic of Mutantopia had granted every single clan in the underground a position of honour, and more importantly, wages to repair and defend the tunnels. In a single day, the Doctor had turned the warring clans into a second militia with the stroke of the pen. I wondered briefly that if any of this could be avoided, had the lieutenant used diplomacy over stealth.

The 4th Mubarizun Squad let by Lt. Khawla; and 5th Squad of 5th Company of the 5th armored Regiment - or the 555 as they called themselves - by Sergeant Yazidi; Vat Technician Corporal StonedScientizt; and a civvie completely out of his depth, were fighting an entire village of muties. But through superior firepower and tactics, the enemy was held at bay.

Not that I knew that - I thought we were going to die.

It was only an hour after we descended into the underground through a secret passageway. Stealth and speed were key, the objective was to meet the contacts within Corinth, not to declare war on thousands of inhabitants. (change this)

It was going well, until we had to break through a brick wall, and found ourselves in someone's living room. The mother (I assume she was), grabbed her children, fled her home, while the men picked up a hammer and charged the lead Mubarizun trooper. The trooper pulled out his handgun and gunned them down, the gunshots deafening within the tiny home unit.

"Shit, I didn't attach my silencer!" cursed Corporal Uthman.

Lieutenant Khawla hit him in the back of the head. "It's suppressor, not silencer."

"Apologies, sir."

After that, the two combined squads took their firing positions, placed me, Stone, and Lydia (the Iron Cog MULE) in the middle, and hauled ass. Imagine a group of black clad, heavily armed, twenty-something guys trailing out of a tiny shack like clowns out of a tiny car, and you have a pretty good image.

It's usually around this part of the article I'd talk about the level design, the combat encounters, and the like. But I had little time to think about design encounters. I was crouching, covering my head, pressing myself against Lydia. My 1911 went completely unused throughout the entire gunfight, less a weapon and more an amulet of safety. If the players could hear me over the gunshots, they might have heard me recite surahs.

Oh yes, I mentioned a dragon. I'm getting to that.

After what felt like forever, a figure emerged from above us on a rickety bridge and pointed their flamethrower at us. Someone shot the bastard, and the flamethrower's nozzle whipped up and breathed fire.

In one moment, we were in a fight against a village, in the next, we were fighting against fire.

I don't exactly recall what happened next, someone popped smoke and I took that moment to run like a bat out of hell -

- only to find myself staring into the double barrels of a shotgun. The Dweller stared at me with a face of pure hatred, despite the large tumor covering half his face. This one random NPC had more emotion in his face than every single NPC in SAO combined.

I did the only thing I could do: I pushed the barrel up with my left hand, the Dweller misfired in surprise and I reached for my pistol and gunned him down.

Except that's what I'd like to say I did. I swiped the barrel away, yes, but my gun wouldn't fire. The mutant bashed me in the head with the stock and would have ended my life had Stone not stepped out of the smoke and gun him down with an overpriced FN Five-seven.

"Damn, got here just in time! The general would have had my ass if you died on my watch," he said as he pulled me up.

We retreated from the Dweller village, which was pretty easy what with the inferno that was engulfing it. When we had a little breathing room, Khawla called for a break and we shut ourselves in the undercity's many abandoned chambers. Lydia hummed as she recharged herself. People were breaking out cigarettes, coffee, or were logging out for a quick bathroom break.

One of the Mubarizun approached me, his heavy flak with new bullet holes. It looked like he took an entire SMG magazine point blank but he otherwise looked no worse for wear. "That 1911 of mine serving you well?"

I later learned his name was Sergeant Kaveh. "I think there's something wrong with this gun."

"Let me see it?" I handed his gun back. "Ah, you didn't flick the safety on, silly American." Then he showed me how to do it. "Good thing you didn't need to use it in battle."

"Yeah, good thing for me."

So that was my first firefight in Gun Gale Online - it was simultaneously one of the best and worst experiences in SEED VR gaming I've had in literal years. The high lethality meant that any bullet would have ended me. Armor and cover was king and the lack of anime-esque superhuman ability was a fun change of pace that made me a mortal man despite knowing I had infinite lives. The Mobile Guard's cohesion, the enemy AI, the randomness of it all, was something I would not even find in the most hyped AAA games. I decided after that fight, I would be on this ride for the long haul.

We reached our contact half an hour later with no deaths.

Picture 1 (850 mb):

Pic caption: An inferno is consuming a shanty town. Traces of gunfire entered and exited black smoke. Some mutants were fighting the players, some were fighting the fire, and many more ragged mutants were running around like headless chickens. Sergeant Kaveh is visible in the left side of the photo, providing covering with an M27 Infantry Automatic Rifle.

Many a rumour floated around the net of the one called CHAD. I first heard of him over the office watercooler. A fellow coworker had been regalling the tales of impressive feats of combat, including going behind enemy lines for miles upon miles to snipe a single target; strangling the techno-barbarian king, Urgard the Butcher (the final boss of the last DLC), with a piece of wire; and, somehow, nuking a player base so hard every single person quit the game afterwards. If you ever wonder what's up with the gasmask emojis on Discord, that's him.

By that time, SEED first person shooters were on the rise, often being rereleases of normal FPS games, but they didn't have the sheer chaos that GGO had. This made his achievements all the more impressive.

If you type 'CHAD' into the GGO forums, you will find numerous threads asking about his exploits, his build, his kit, speaking about him as if he was some sort of celebrity. Ironically, CHAD's own posts on the forum mostly amounted to the Bug Reports subforum - curt, to the point, and professional. Trying to send him a PM will only gain you a block.

My first impression of him was positive. The black-clad gasmasked player and his retinue welcomed us warmly, shook hands with the Mobile Guard's officers, and provided us with ammo and tools to fix our kit.

The underground HQ of the players was impressive and labyrinthian and I would have felt like Theseus without the many helpful signs and nice players willing to tolerate my questions. I hung around with the grunts as Lt. Khawla, Sgt. Yazidi and Corporal Stone chatted with the leader of this whole operation.

I sat in the main hall and overheard many discussions, pumping points into PER to hear better for my very first level up. Balance changes, enemy types, tactics, upgrades, the kinda thing you'd hear on any gaming board, or if you're a fool, reading logs on global chat. There was some rumbling about certain privates not reporting for guard duty, a captain grilling her subordinates about ensuring proper security for the cloning chambers.

But one thing caught my attention, a certain mention of a cat girl. I cannot believe that Adrian was right.

Knowing full well my editor will not get off my ass, I asked around. Apparently, the cat girl and her squad were off doing a mission elsewhere. It's at this point I decided to rent a cloning vat and log out to have dinner.

I returned in an hour, and already, a serious looking man was waiting outside my pod. "Mister Mason, I'm Lt. Makarov. Please, come with me. CHAD is expecting you."

As we walked to his office, I said, "It's a shame I only have this camera. It'd be nice to have a recorder for this sorta thing."

Makarov saved me so much hassle; it turns out that all player PDAs came with an audio recording app. While I had my little paper notebook that automatically transferred what I wrote into my console, it was always good to have a recorder on hand for this sorta thing. I thanked the officer and made my way to meet the legendary operator.

Interview #1 - CHAD:

The office I entered was spartan. No decoration graced the walls and the cabinets lining them looked like something out of a dumpster. The plastic chair behind the desk looked cheap and uncomfortable while mine of wood and cushion looked like something out of a palace. He was doing paperwork, in full armor, an expensive looking pistol and a .357 magnum on each end.

I sat down and was offered tea by his aide-de-camp.

- Transcript begins -

Mason: Thank you for receiving me today, CHAD-san. I understand that you're a busy man, what with running an urban insurgency.

CHAD: No issue, I play GGO to relax. And please, just call me CHAD. I'm familiar with your tabletop articles in the Dungeon Gazette. I agree that Minions feel somewhat lacking as it is in its current form.

Mason: I'm very flattered, and as much as I'd like to discuss 8th Edition, I'm here to discuss you.

CHAD: My least favorite subject.

Mason: So, you are the single most famous players in the game. They call you Mister Shinigami on account of your in-game achievements and the fact that you have suffered no death in your entire years playing GGO. Is it true?

CHAD: See for yourself.

CHAD pulls out his PDA and hands it to me. I awkwardly take a picture of it with my camera.

Picture 2 (150 mb):

Pic caption: A shot of CHAD's character sheet, his in-game statistics including damage dealt, damage taken, ammunition expanded, favourite weapon type, distance traveled, vehicles ridden, vehicles driven, player kills, NPC kills, and player death - zero.

Mason: This is extremely impressive! And to do it with an «SMG»build? As I understand it, the most versatile build is the Rifleman build. What made you choose something more specialized?

CHAD: I've always like SMGs ever since I took one from a dead Marine way back in a government lab in New Mexico, decades ago. I like to be quick, cover the distance, and get in the enemy's face. «Assault Rifles» are better at medium and long range as well as being far more consistent, but they don't do «Crit» damage as reliably as «SMGs» do. Also, 9mm is light and ubiquitous, compared to intermediate cartridges.

Mason: Tell me about your handguns, here.

CHAD: My current carries are the .357 Manurhin and 7.5 FK BRNO. I used to carry a Desert Eagle chambered .50 Action Express and a Colt Python, but I find the Deagle too cumbersome for my liking. The Python was fine, but the Manurhin is a straight upgrade. If it's good enough for French GIGN then it's good enough for me.

Mason: Wouldn't a single pistol be easier to carry than two heavy caliber pistols?

CHAD: Yes, but I already have a 9mm gun. 7.5 FK is rarer and more expensive, but I am not wanting for credits and .357 isn't uncommon. Sometimes you don't get that crit and you need something with more power to punch through armor. .45 ACP is fine too, but lower ammo capacity and not enough power makes it a middling ammo type - no offense.

Mason: None taken. But wouldn't this put you in a huge disadvantage in the open field, where most combat takes place?

CHAD: Yes, a long-arm would be king in these types of situations but this is a game, not real life. The game is designed around being fair, war isn't. In my opinion, players overvalue the sniper rifle. I've seen people haul .50 caliber AMRs despite being the Designated Marksmen and it drives me up the wall. There are hundreds of better weapons for that. There are very few players that actually pull off a «Sniper» build.

Mason: Opinion on shotguns?

CHAD: They are a fine weapons but they require far more work to put into to make them work as a primary weapon. You need more Perks and more armor because they tend to have lower ammo capacity, and they don't gel well with Crits. But they have much more utility with different ammo types, and EMP shells are the most common form of dedicated anti-robot ammo. «And Stay Back!» Perk is strong enough to knock down the big monsters around the world without the cumbersomeness of carrying a «Grenade Launcher». There's a reason why they're popular for players who tend to fashion themselves as monster slayers.

Mason: I'm rather new to the game, but what's this about the anger around PDWs? As I understand it, they're the in-between SMGs and rifles.

CHAD: Personal Defense Weapons, as the name suggests, are in essence firearms for security instead of frontline warfare. They tend to fire rifle-like intermediate cartridges, in essence replicating a rifle's advantages with an SMG's compactness. Personally, I think it's a silly term for a gun. Shouldn't pump-action shotties be considered PDWs too? Is it dependent on the cartridge? Is the SIG MCX an AR or a PDW since it uses 5.56mm too?

As for the controversy itself, it comes to game balance. Early on, they tended to utilize AR perks over SMG perks, and when PDW perks came out, they were horribly overpowered. You get a thread about PDWs on the forum every two weeks, the devs have yet to figure out what direction to take. Even I'm not sure what to make of it.

Mason: What's with the gas-mask?

CHAD: Full face masks are terrible for combat. You can't place your cheek on your gun comfortably, your peripheral vision gets constricted, and chemical damage is actually pretty uncommon. When British SAS stormed the Iranian Embassy back in 1980, they had to utilize their three point sling method because it's hard to look down sights with a mask on.

Mason: Okay, but why do you wear it, even out in the open?

CHAD: To test the limits of my abilities.

Mason: That's valid. It seems that your operation is going well. I saw that pink slime thing, looks devastating. I don't think the other guilds have returned to using their artillery because of it. How's that going?

CHAD: Going well. I've briefed Lt. Khawla about it, you'll see more soon, I'm sure.

Mason: What's your secret for a no death run? What happens if you die, would you get upset about it?

CHAD: 50% skill, 50% preparation, and 100% luck. If I die, I die. That's the roll of the die. I think people care more about my zero deaths than I do. (Laughs)

Mason: You're not actually a dev, are you? Come on, you can tell me. I won't say a word.

CHAD: No, I'm just someone who loves this game. Who do you take me for, Akihiko Kayaba?

Mason: A bit of a personal question: are you ex-military?

CHAD: No comment.

Mason: Last question, how are you enjoying Mutant Horrors of Old Earth so far?

CHAD: I am enjoying it immensely. They outdid themselves, learned all the right lessons from Warlords of Syria. I know people are super salty about the entire thing, it's very challenging, but that's what great about Zaskar. They're not afraid of trying new things.

Mason: Thank you for your time, CHAD.

- Transcript ends -

Interview # 2 - Maj. Chie Nikita, Sgt. Gregory, Comm. Tadao (Zakon i Dolg):

My next trip takes me to the quarters of the Zakon i Dolg (trans from Russian: Duty and Honor), 2nd Company. A flag of their logo is a stylised blue target on a shield, white on a blue field, hung above the door to one of the many barracks in the base. Two guards stood outside and took my gun away, which was fair. I wonder then why I wasn't disarmed when I met CHAD, to test his abilities?

Within the barracks was a small office, snug enough to fit five people. The three officers I met were Major Chie Nikita, Commissar Tadao the Tornado, and Sergeant Gregory. Dressed in desert camo RATNIK fatigues from a decade ago (most players wore desert camo fatigues), they didn't look that much different from the Russian loyalists and separatist forces I met during my short stint as a war correspondent. I was struck by an odd sense of nostalgia. Change the colours of their uniforms, I'd feel right at home back in Magadan.

Major Nikita was a serious looking career woman, and wouldn't have looked out of place in an actual military had it not been for her silver hair. Sergeant Gregory was a heavyset man, bearded, all muscle, the typical STR build, friendly and all smiles. Tadao meanwhile had that smug smile that wouldn't be out of place on an anime girl.

- Transcript begins -

Mason: Thank you for receiving me, I know you must be wanting to get into the action.

Maj. Nikita: It's alright, it's good to take a break from time to time.

Mason: How are you enjoying the expansion?

Maj. Nikita: I'll keep my opinions to myself until I finish it.

Sgt. Gregory: Same, but it is good fun.

Comm. Tadao: Ditto.

Mason: That's fair. Tell me how you got into the game, and how the Zakon i Dolg got its start.

Maj. Nikita: I was having a hard few months at work, and on my birthday, my husband and kids pooled their money to buy me an AmuSphere because they know I like gaming. It didn't come with any game, but GGO was on sale, and thought I'd give that a try. Suffice to say, it's the game I've put the most hours in, aside from solitaire on my phone.

Sgt. Gregory: What similarities, major! My wife bought a pair of AmuSpheres for our anniversary! Thought it'd be a neat way to spend time together. GGO is a bit too hardcore for her, she prefers playing more chill games like that one about running farms and raising sheep. Hah, I should show you our turnips, they look fantastic! I have more hours logged into that than GGO, not that I don't dislike GGO of course.

Com. Tadao: I bought this game after my first year in college. I need to unwind after studies.

Mason: So how did you come to form the Zakon i Dolg? You're one of the rising guilds in the game, ranked at 11th in all of Japan. That's an impressive achievement!

Maj. Nikita: Thank you. It's hard work but rewarding. I met General George Zenkou, that's our guild leader, when we tried to raid the base of the Grim Selim at Mount Ararat, which was at the time the toughest endgame dungeon in the vanilla game. We bonded over our frustrations at the dungeon. Back then, we were only some twenty people on a Discord server. After winning that campaign, we pooled our money to form our own guild. Now, we number around 500 or so members. I was given command to lead 2nd Company a couple years ago, while Zenkou runs 1st Company.

Sgt. Gregory: The major runs a tight ship, she knows her stuff. I am proud to serve under her.

Maj. Nikita: No one likes a brown noser, sergeant.

Comm. Tadao: (Laughs)

Mason: What about you, big man?

Sgt. Gregory: Zakon was looking to recruit, I answered their flyers one day and worked my way up to sergeant. Not very exciting, I'm afraid.

Comm. Tadao: As for me, well, I was running solo for the longest time. I didn't like guild stuff, prefer to do my own thing, but the game offers lots and lots of bounty hunters. Unfortunately, bounty hunters are the most prideful assholes in the game. We'd betray each other for half a credit if it meant getting the bounty first. Suffice to say, I was sick of the double crosses, and when Gregory, a corporal at the time, offered me a job, I took it.

Sgt. Gregory: He didn't mention the bit where he poisoned the beer of like twenty other bounty hunters and took the bounty for himself.

Comm. Tadao: (Shrugs) Hey man, maintaining a cybersteed is expensive.

Mason: What does a commissar do exactly?

Maj. Nikita: Well back then, we had no idea what we were doing, and we thought the best thing to do to enforce discipline was through fear. So the rank of commissar was established; apparently Soviet commissars killed their own soldiers for cowardice using big caliber handguns. That's where we got the idea.

Then we found out that Soviet commissars didn't do that, and that they actually arrested soldiers for cowardice and sent them to trials; the actual summary execution on the spot thing was extremely rare. The actual concept of shooting your own soldiers for a morale boost came from some British wargame.

Comm. Tadao: I actually still have that perk! It's called «Blam! Cowardice!»: it gives a 20% damage boost for nearby soldiers for 60 seconds. But then we found out killing your own troops for a small damage boost was cost ineffective the higher the level the player is. I stopped doing it a long time ago. Shame though, it was fun.

Mason: Tell me about your builds and doctrine.

Maj. Nikita: Mine is nothing special, a standard «Rifleman» build with some points into «Grenade Launchers». Too many player officers focus too much on their best build, when what they should be doing is learning how to lead. «Tactics» is my highest leveled skill, it lets me paint arrows in my soldiers' HUDs, and give commands on the fly. Not that you'd see it, of course, it's only visible to teammates.

As for doctrine, we're what the playerbase calls a «Generalist» build: we do a lot of things well, but we can't do specialized things. We have a few BTR-80s and fight as mechanized infantry with the commissar leading squats on dirtbikes. Of our five hundred guild members, only 1st Company has the money for tanks and their maintenance, mostly T-14 Armatas. But companies 2 to 5 all have their APCs and we're looking to raise a 6th Company in the future.

Mason: As I understand it, the BTR-80 is something of an aging platform that's been in use for sixty years. Why not use more modern APCs?

Maj. Nikita: The simple answer to that is it's a matter of logistics. We're not the most wealthy guild around to afford Boxers or Patrias, but tactics and willpower make up for what we lack in technology. In the real world, it's very hard to maintain machines that gets older and older, the same way we rarely have functioning computer from the 90s. Of course, that's highly dependent on the machine. But that logic need not apply in a video game.

Mason: Finely put. Yet only 2nd Company is here, where are the rest?

Maj. Nikita: Fighting way out in the Untamed East. That's all I'm allowed to say.

Sgt. Gregory: As for me? Well, I've always liked boomsticks. Us «Shotgun» players have a rivalry with «SMG» players. It can get a little heated, but it's all good fun. Sure, SMGs can get their crits in, but if you want overwhelming firepower and a multitude of different ammo types, the shotgun is the king. We've got buckshot, we've got slugs, we've got EMP shells, hell we even have beanbags. You don't see that with any other weapon type, save maybe, grenade launchers.

Our choice of shotguns for the guild are Saiga-12s but I myself use an AA-12. The fact that we've got a dedicated shotgun unit that we can intersperse with our tactical needs makes us fearsome in close quarters.

Mason: I take you're a «Gunslinger» build, Tadao-san?

Comm. Tadao: Nay, pardner. I have a «Cowboy» build, a variant of the «Gunslinger» build. See, «Pistols» are sidearms, right? You want CQC superiority, you get a shotty like Gregory here or an SMG like Skirmsher0chan. But «Gunslinger» builds excel at stealth; easier to hide a pistol than an MP5. It's mostly popular for assassination, bank robberies, that sorta thing. Low profile stuff.

Mason: And bounty hunting.

Comm. Tadao: Exactly!

Mason: So what's the difference between «Gunslinger» and «Cowboy»?

Comm. Tadao: «Revolvers» have this perk tree called the «Eastwood Action», basically, with every cocking of the hammer, my Ruger Redhawk here, does say, 10 DMG on the first shot, 20 DMG on the second, 30 DMG on the third, and so on. But as long as you don't miss. The longer I'm in a fight, the more damage my guns do.

The «Eastwood» also has perk trees for shotguns, lever-actions, revolvers, and anything deemed 'Western' by the game. So I may mostly use my Redhawk but if push comes to shove, I whip out my Winchester or this BFR .45-70. So I may not have the semi-auto capability, but the «Eastwood Action» means I'm able to do reliable single shot damage. It even works on double-actions!

Sgt. Gregory: As long as you don't miss.

Comm. Tadao: And I don't miss, pardner. (Tips beret)

Sgt. Gregory: (Sighing) He really doesn't.

Mason: That's very cool, why don't we see more dedicated «Cowboys» then?

Comm. Tadao: It's a level 45 perk.

Mason: Ahh, I see. Does «Cowboy» have anything to do with the fact you ride horses?

Comm. Tadao: I almost forgot! So, with horsies - actually, I'll discuss you with this later. I need to check up on my notes and confirm it's all correct.

Mason: No worries. It's a pleasure talking to all of you. But if you don't mind, may I take a picture?

Maj. Nikita: Of course. Gregory, call the troops.

Comm. Tadao: Be sure to get my good side, eh?

- Transcript ends -

Picture 3 (750 mb):

Pic caption: Almost one hundred soldiers with mostly Kalashnikov type rifles, SMGs and shotguns. In the middle, Major Chie Nikita sits on a chair. On the left end is Commisar Tadao the Tornado with his Outriders, noticeable with their red motorcycle boots and red gloves. On the right end is Sergeant Gregory with his shotgunners. The shorter Zakon troops stands on benches while the taller troops kneel in the front.

Interview #3 - Klein (FuurinKazan), Dyne (Black Dog):

I was going to interview the guild called the Kyoto Warhawks, but their guild leader was logged out and they were under strict orders to not speak to me. Considering the large amount of security around the base, this makes sense. The few Warhawks I met were polite, which was fine by me, as I was interested in talking to players that were newer to the game.

I discovered two smaller guilds working in the base, relative newbies like me. It did not take long to get an interview, so I sat down with Klein of the FuurinKazan and Dyne of Black Dog. We chatted in the base's impressively sized canteen.

Klein looked like a young pink-haired Toshiro Mifune, red bandana tied around his forehead, clad in samurai-like flak gear, complete with a karuta-gane - a series of overlapping square plates with beautiful lacing on his shoulder. His fashionable kit was ruined and covered in pink gunk. Dyne meanwhile looked more of a cowboy than Tadao was, complete with duster and cowboy hat on the table.

Klein was missing both hands and was drinking from his glass with a straw, said he was waiting for his bionics to come in. Meanwhile, Dyne's bionic was subtler, a speaker implemented in his throat and I can guess its function. I didn't see much bionics on the soldiers I've accompanied; perhaps they kept theirs well hidden.

- Transcript begins -

Klein: You know, I called dibs on being interviewed first. But chain of command and all that, yada yada.

Dyne: I admit, I didn't want to be interviewed, but Klein-san dragged me here and here I am, talking to you.

Mason: I assure you, Dyne-san, that I don't bite. So, I heard you're new to the game. What's your experience of the game so far?

Klein: Me and ol' Dyne jumped onto the Old Earth train as soon as we could because mutual friends of ours were doing it. We don't even have the previous expansion installed. But wow, shit's a lotta fun!

Dyne: Yep. Klein's guild and mine, Black Dog, just passed double digits in terms of level. We aren't the greatest contributors to battle, what with our levels being in the teens, but we do our best.

Mason: Don't you feel overwhelmed?

Klein: That's the cool part - the game being so lethal means that even a noob can kill a vet with the right weapon. It's not like say, SAO, where you can just stand still and have half a dozen guys wail on you with no problem because your health regens so fast.

Mason: Ah, you mean «Battle Healing»?

Klein: (Laughs) Oh, a SAO vet, I see. Quit the game when Kayaba got exposed, huh?

Mason: Yes, but I'd rather talk about GGO. It seems I can't talk about this game without the other game being brought up.

Klein: Yep, that's true. No one brings up ALO or Asuka Empire in comparison.

Mason: I suppose I can ask player pilots their opinions on air combat, but maybe some other time You both run small guilds, less than ten men each? What's your experience?

Dyne: I can't speak for Klein here, this is my first SEED game, but it's not that different from running a real squad.

Mason: Ah, you're an actual veteran?

Dyne: Yeah. JSDF, served from 2027 to 2034, then worked for a security company ever since. Military police. If you're asking for war stories, I ain't got any. Military work and civilian work isn't actually that different, except for maybe more bureaucratic bullshit. (Laughs)

Mason: Surely, some experience has helped you in being good at the game.

Dyne: Well, I think it makes me good at giving clear orders. But other than that? (Shrugs) We didn't have much time to shoot at the range, or do close quarters training or any of that. My primary job was making sure idiots stayed outta trouble, which, now I think about it, might be the thing that helped the lads survive this far.

Mason: What about you, Klein-san? Your SAO experience helps?

Klein: Hmm, I like to think so. You ever heard of the FuurinKazan?

Mason: I was on the North American server, so I'm afraid not.

Klein: Damn! Well, we ain't the biggest and baddest but we pull our weight, I like to think so. My boys are spread all over the world, and video games are the few ways we can get together. I like to think we're a band of brothers, like a bunch of roving samurai making our way in the world, ya know? If you couldn't tell, we're cultivating a subtle image.

Dyne: Klein-san, you literally look like Toshiro Mifune. You have samurai flak armor. You carry tantos. You cannot be any more subtle if you didn't name yourself the Magnificent Seven.

Klein: (Sighs) There's only six of us though. I'd invite my other friend, but he has a cat girlfriend to take care of?

Mason: … cat girlfriend?

Klein: Oh yeah, a literal cat girl! She's got the ears and eve - (gets jabbed in the kidney by Dyne) OOF!

Dyne: Ah well, the cat's outta the bag. No pun intended.

Klein: I mean, it's like Sinon-san has been hiding it? Hasn't she?

Dyne: Yeah, but you know how weird guys are. You ain't gonna be a weirdo about this, are you, Mason-san?

Mason: I assure you, I have the best of intentions. Besides, I already have a girlfriend.

Klein: Not that's stopped anyone before! You ever gone to an anime expo? (Laughs) Ah, I just got my message for my hand replacement. Excuse me, gentlemen. Nice talking to you, Mason-san!

Dyne: I gotta go too, help wife with dinner. You know how it is. Be seeing you around.

Mason: Thank you for your contribution, gentlemen. But before you go, a picture?

Klein: Wait, wait! Let me get my weapons! Dyne-san, you gotta lend me … a hand.

Dyne: Fine, but I won't like it.

Picture 4 (400 mb):

Pic caption: Two men stand shoulder to shoulder like comrades against a blank concrete wall. The man on the right is ruggedly handsome, with pink hair and a red bandana tied around his forehead. In his arms were a chainsaw and a SPAS-12 shotgun, criss crossed over his shoulders. He is clad in flak armor designed like o-yoroi samurai armor and grinning widely. The mustached man next to him wears a duster over his flak, a FAMAS assault rifle in his arms.

- Transcript ends -

I have heard tales of this cat girl, almost as much as I've heard of CHAD. I've no idea who she is, if she even is a she (you know how the Internet is), or how she even looks like. I was expecting something more in line with what the furry community thinks, but knowing Japan, it was likely a cute girl with animal ears and a tail. I would be proven right.

I had been told by Klein-san that the two had logged off for the time and would be returning to the game later. That was fine by me, I could wait. In the meantime, I would be taking a trip to the base's lab where StonedScientizt was working with someone called Vladimir, one of the uncommon players that invest their perk points into crafting (that wasn't «Gunsmithing», of course).

As I made my way to the lab chambers, I bumped into Stone in the hallway. "Ah, Stone-san, I was looking for you."

Behind him were five more players in the uniforms of Kyoto Warhawks. He merely looked at me and said, "Do you know where the cloning vats are?"

Confused, I asked, "Huh, I thought you were already there. Didn't CHAD tell you where they were when you were briefed?"

He frowned. "CHAD did not mention this to me."

"Oh, you guys must haven't keyed in your biocode into them. Sure, I can bring you to them."

We went to the clone chambers, a massive room that, by my estimates, had a thirty feet tall ceiling. The clone vats were arrayed not unlike a multi storey parking system. In fact, I was pretty sure they modeled after them. Each vat was laid down horizontally, requiring a technician like Stone to operate. It reminded me, in a macabre sense, of a mix between a mortuary cabinet and a capsule hotel. They tend to be arrayed in ten rows and five columns, with more advanced clone vats being even smaller.

Great thick cables hung like ceiling vines. They required massive amounts of energy to power, each cloning vat requiring a base amount of pork and other chemicals. I would later find out the comparison that players were orcs was an in-joke, because when GGO was a mod, the player models were using SAO orcs. A couple of guards were monitoring the console that controlled the mechanisms.

"Where is the power generator?" asked one of the Warhawks; all of whom I realised were carrying bulky satchel bags.

"I'm not sure, you might want to ask one of the guys here."

As we walked up the platform, the Warhawks walked briskly up to them and buried sharp shining knives into the Zakon guard's' necks.

To say I was not prepared for that, was an understatement. I raised my voice to shout only to feel something poking into my side. I fell down onto the grated platform with a thunk.

Stone tapped a button on the console, locking the large double doors. From behind, the other guards on duty were yelling and banging on them.

"Quickly, we must deploy the explosives!" ordered Stone, whom from henceforth, I shall dub the False Stone.

"You … you're not Stone …" I stated the obvious.

The False Stone ignored me. "Pack them onto the main pillar. We destroy this chamber and we will deal a major blow to the jannisaries."

Discreetly, I unholstered my gun. One of the Warhawks simply stepped onto my hand, breaking it with a terrible crunch and picked up my gun. It was a miracle I wasn't dead yet, or how the poison DOT had yet to finish me off. My HP ticked down, the slow beeps like a mocking heart monitor. Why, I was almost insulted that I did not warrant enough as a threat for him to end me. My investment in END in character creation saved my life.

He unloaded every round into the console as it exploded with sparks and threw the gun away. The vats with their miraculous green fluid were flushed down into the pies, a small fortune in expenses. Already, sirens were blaring and the chamber turned into a sinister red. I suspect the realm of limbo looked something like this.

They worked fast, like machines more than men. I wonder what kind of horror the game has cooked up, to be able to steal one's face. It was so easy: just copy-paste the face presets! Was Stone dead? Had he been dead all along? I signed up for a sci-fi milsim and found myself in a horror game.

"It is done," said the Warhawks simultaneously, with that artificialness in their tone.

"We must escape before detonation," said the False Stone. "There is an escape hatch in the ceiling, we must reach it."

"There is a maintenance leader on the pillar that we can use," one said.

"Good, now let us be off."

Something crashed in the darkness and they all pulled out their blades and gathered in a circle. Did they not use guns?

"Steady yourselves."

There was silence. Nothing but the distant alarms and my slowly dying form. I did the only thing I could do: I knocked on the grate - my vengeance against my killers.

Then, from the darkness, a humming engine.

I didn't see how the first Warhawk die. He was standing, then he wasn't. His blood sprayed on my face as he was torn in half. Realising that I was even in more danger and getting over my shock, I dragged myself into a corner and propped myself up. I had forgotten that I had an Individual First Aid Kit on myself and began the process of self-healing.

The best I could do was pop a Universal Antidote pill but that was the extent of it. I wasn't going to miss the show.

Something was lobbed from the darkness onto the platform. The flare popped to life, bathing the dim room in a glow of red.

A shadow leap from the darkness and in its hand, whirring death. The first Warhawk died, his chest split open shoulder to hip in a magnificent spray of blood. A pretty brunette, long hair flowing, holding a massive chainsaw sword, took a fighting stance, a smile on their face.

"Oh, you've no idea how long I've waited for this," they said, with a bloody smile. "I don't need stims to beat you."

Two of the Warhawks charged at them with insane speed, their long knives coming at the (chain?)swordsman in a flurry. The chainsword must have been a heavy thing, and the newcomer did not try to block at all, but duck and weave from the incoming attack.

It was then the second shadow emerged from the shadows. They came at the remaining Warhawk from behind, and with a leg sweep dropped him to the ground. They plunged the heel of their boot on his windpipe, the sound of crunching bone music to my ears.

False Stone came at them, swinging once, twice, before the shadow plunged a sword into his neck with deadly accuracy. They pulled the blade out and swiped the blood of the blade in one swift movement. It was at that time the brunette had finished off the Warhakws, the chainsaw sword shutting down.

The taller of the shadows crouched down by me, and in the darkness of that room, lit by the flare's glowing flame.

"Are you okay?" they asked. "You need medical attention."

As they knelt down, I saw two curious appendages atop her head: Cat ears.

Adrian, you son of a bitch.

Then my HP hit 10% and I passed out from blood loss.

When a player becomes unconscious, they turn into a 'ghost' of sorts. A surreal out of body experience as you see your own body. The two players that came to my rescue patched me up with my own medical kit and as they were finished, the lights returned to normal and Zakons and Warhawks came through the doors, guns raised.

Now, in proper lighting, I could see my saviors much more clearly:

First of all, the cat girl - well, actually cat woman. She was as tall as I was, in a form hugging green bodysuit. Her cyan hair matched her cyan eyes and cyan cat ears and cyan cat tail. Her hands were bloodied and she looked like she regretted tearing apart False Stone's throat with it.

Meanwhile, her companion was a long haired brunette with big purple eyes, the massive chainsword seeming oversized for her (him?). Neither of them wore armor, as if they came here as fast as they could.

She (he?) was laughing at her choice of weaponry. In return, the cat woman brushed her bloodied hand against the brunette's face, making them curse and gag.

At least, that's what I gathered; being an apparition meant everything was more or less muted. The corpses of False Stone and the Warhawks bubbled, their flesh melting off their faces revealing a boney mouthless, red eyed horrors.

A stretcher was brought in and they hauled my unconscious self to the infirmary. I found myself dragged alongside my body. It took at least ten minutes for them to revive me and when I returned to my avatar, I found myself looking at a bespectacled man in a rugged scientist coat.

"Hmm, fascinating. Despite being a level 1, you did not die from being stabbed. Is that because of the blade's low damage, or were you just supremely lucky you weren't critted? Had the Mimics slice your throat, you'd be finding yourself in a clone vat, friend."

I blinked, not believing what I was seeing. "Is this how you treat all your patients?"

"I'm not the doctor, he is," he said, pointing to a man in the corner, cleaning his hands in a sink.

Immediately, I wanted to do my work but my body refused to move. Pain did not exist in SEED due to strict Japanese and international law regarding them, though it was rumored that some groups used the technology for more nefarious means.

Doctor Vicvek of the Warhawks did some checks on my back wound, declared I was fit to leave, and told me to go away in half an hour. The infirmary was quite full, though the majority of the patients seemed to be logged out. Vladimir, the scientist, interviewed me on the effects, reminding me of my time in QA.

"It's my job to interview you guys, you know."

"Well, you can do that later, Mister Games Journalist. Come now, I'll serve you some tea."

More tea is always welcomed. "I want to talk to the girls who saved me."

"Girls? Ah yes, Kirito-kun and Sinon-kun. Very well, follow me then."

The damage to my back was healed easily enough and a dip in a clone vat would have healed most of it. But as I found out, the vat technicians were working hard to repair whatever damage these 'Mimics' did on them. They found Stone stuffed in a locker, tied up and gagged. My new friend Vladimir opined that the Mimics need to have their victims alive to shapeshift properly though he could not figure out why they have an aversion to firearms.

I found myself in his workshop, an armory/lab combo with all sorts of vials lining the tables. I also found my saviours.

"Oh hey, it's the FNG! Doing all right?" asked the brunette, with a deeper voice than I expected.

"Don't call them an FNG, Kirito. That's rude," said the cat woman. Both of them were cleaning up the gunk of the chainsaw sword and replacing the teeth.

"The guy's level 1, Sinon. He doesn't even have a gun! Sorry, guy. But it's true. You are waaaay too underleveled to be playing this."

I was missing my gun, actually. I'd later find that it was back in the main armory.I told them of my intentions, and after a bit of whispering, they accepted.

Adrian, this one's for you.

Interview #4 - Kirito, Sinon (Independent):

- Transcript begins -

Mason: My editor has been badgering me in finding you. Apparently, you've made quite the news on the forums, are you aware of that?

Sinon: I was not, actually. I've been, um, suspended from the GGO forums for reasons.

Kirito: She was arguing with a moderator about sniping or some such, I don't exactly recall.

Sinon: Bolt-actions do not do more damage than semi-autos, that is just a video game thing for balance reasons! Not my fault the idiot doesn't know anythning about guns, despite being on a forum about them!

Mason: Well I was hoping to ask you about other things, first but if you must.

Kirito: Well, it started a few weeks ago. The Horrors of Old Earth DLC just launched …

Author's Note: My PDA had suffered a memory loss here, and while I've jotted down their story, I had to dump the memory file onto a thumb drive. I'll send this bit of the transcript in the next email. Sorry about that, Adrian.

Mason: I apologise for the technical problems, we should be back now. Apparently the camera I have shares the same memory storage with my PDA's recording device.

Kirito: Don't worry about it, I didn't even know GGO had in-game cameras.

Mason: Where were we? Ah yes, builds. Kirito-san, you mentioned you were an SAO player. Is this why you're running around with a chainsaw sword?

Sinon: (Groans) When he first started the game, he armed himself with a gladius and a riot shield and insisted on stabbing things to death. He still does!

Mason: That explains that arming sword you have there. And the M4. And that … Scorpion, I think? That's a lot of kit to haul around.

Kirito: Well excuse me, Miss I-Claw-People's-Throats-Out-For-Fun, the rest of us mortals don't have super strength and super speed. A couple missions ago, she punched through a wall! I swear, she's more of an SAO character with all that power.

Mason: To be fair to Sinon-san, she was a cat for two weeks.

Sinon: He complains about it but he loves scratching my ears.

Kirito: Hell yes, I do. I love my big strong cat girlfriend. (Reaches out to Sinon's ears)

Sinon: Don't do that in front of the journalist, idiot!

Mason: Don't worry, I won't put that in print. So, tell me how melee works exactly. You could have easily shot those Mimics from afar, granted, they were also using knives.

Kirito: Well, Mason-san, have you ever heard of KTSOSVF?

Sinon: Please don't.

Mason: The what now?

Kirito: The Kirito Formula of the Engagement of Swords versus Firearms! It's a mathematical formula on the safest way to engage a shooter depending on distance and weapon -

Mason: Ah, the Tueller Drill.

Kirito … yes, that. But my formula is foolproof! Using force expansions -

Sinon: Force multipliers.

Kirito: - like combat drugs and smoke grenades, it's possible to extend the distance beyond twenty-one feet!

Mason: Why not use pistols or SMGs or carbines?

Kirito: Because there's areas in this game that's too cramped. Had I or Sinon opened fire on those Mimics, we might have accidentally killed you. Melee weapons are also much quieter -

Sinon: Says the guy with the chainsword.

Kirito: Often, quieter. They're low maintenance, don't need ammo, cheaper, and most enemies don't expect it.

Mason: Wouldn't you need heavy armor to actually make this work?

Kirito: Well, since power armor isn't a thing and personal shields seem only to work on bosses, I'm still figuring it out. I even got someone to make a mail shirt for me. It's certainly not the most effective way to play the game. But hey, I play GGO for fun, not for chasing metas.

Mason: That's a very healthy way of looking at things, Kirito-san. And what about you, Sinon-san? It seems that you've completely specced into long range fighting, are you going to respec?

Sinon: I haven't decided, actually. I've accumulated quite the number of Perk points, it's been bugging me to level up for a while.

Mason: Do you consider your enhanced ability to be overpowered?

Sinon: Naaah, I don't think so. I had to suffer being a house cat for a long time, you know. And if I didn't have Kirito, I'd probably just start a new character entirely.

Mason: Does the whole tail and ears thing bother you? Surely it's a bit bothersome, gets caught in doors.

Kirito: Well ….

Sinon: It happened once and only once. It will never happen again. No, it's not a bother. As for helmets, I've got a custom one for that though it'll be a pain to do it for when I need a replacement. Besides, you have hair reaching your waist.

Kirito: And I'm not gonna pay a single Yen just to cut my hair! Whose bright idea was it to charge players for character creation anyway.

Mason: Can you not just … cut your hair?

Kirito: Nope! Shot at it, burned it, nothing worked.

Sinon: I could just pay for it, if you don't want it.

Kirito: No.

Sinon: I apologize for my partner's behavior, he can be like that.

Kirito: Death to microtransactions.

Mason: I can't disagree with you there. Last question, do you think with your enhanced stats, players will be trying to get shot repeatedly by the Doctor's syringe gun?

Sinon: It's such a low percentage chance, I wouldn't be surprised if the devs will just sell the ability to become one.

Kirito: Hey, at least there'd be more catgirls. Ow, what was that punch for?!

Mason: And I think we're just about done here. Any more thoughts?

Kirito: I liked it better when she was a cat.

Mason: Right, now if you don't mind me taking a picture for the website. Say: Nya!

- Transcript ends -

Picture 5 (430 mb):

Pic caption: A tall muscular woman in a green bodysuit, with cyan hair and eyes, stands against a wall, chainsword over her shoulders. The weight of the weapon accentuates her biceps. A shorter man with long black hair stands next to her, clad in black fatigues and wearing a mail shirt. He carries a CZ Scorpion Evo 3 SMG in his left, a plasteel sword in his right. They are both smiling widely.

Ridwan,

Absolutely wonderful! Fantastic! You are getting that steak, as promised. But we need some gameplay stuff, and I've spoken to the devs again, and they said your camera will be able to capture video the next time you log in. Wonderful guys, these Zaskar fellers.

Shame about the cat girl having a girlfriend though. If you can take a hundred more pics of Sinon-chan, that would be great. Thanks. I 3 u.

Adrian

Ridwan,

I've been invited to document an upcoming mission. Might even shoot something instead of cowering in fear, eh? Man, if my old SAO guildmates heard me doing this, they'd never let me hear the end of it.

First of all, Kirito's a dude. A girly one yes, but a dude.

Secondly, my brother in Christ, please stop acting so maidenless.

Mason.

Damn, 9.5k words! Longest chapter so far! It'd be probably be shorter without the script format but I'm trying something new with this one. Don't worry, the next chapter will be returning to the standard format. What do you guys think about it? Personally, I had the most fun in a while, making up gameplay mechanics.

Until next time. Don't forget to pat your cat.