Part 4/5

Warning: This part is the reason the story is rated M.

It's been two weeks since the incident and Anastasia still feels numb. She's tried over and over to have a healthy conversation with Jose, but everytime they talk one of them gets angry and walks away. She feels as if he just keeps talking around the problem instead of answering her questions honestly. She begins to wonder if he even knows why he did it. This is a part of him she hadn't seen before, but she's aware that they can't know everything about each other within a few months. Still, she has her reasons to try to work through. She has yet to figure out if they are worth it though.

Weeks ago they made plans with Grace to sit and wedding plan with her this evening and instead of canceling and trying to explain why, Anastasia finds it easier to just go through the motions of the planning for now and try to deal with her emotions later. She still finds it hard to look at Jose at the moment, so it will be a chore to play happy couple tonight.

Dozens of invitations litter the dining room table with even more pulled up on the laptop sitting in front of Anastasia, but she can't seem to narrow down any of them.

Grace notices the stress on her face. She's overwhelmed already and look as if she could cry.

Grace tries a different approach. "Okay, Ana. I know you are overwhelmed by the sheer amount of options, so why don't we back up a little and just pick what colors you think are best."

Sighing, Anastasia rubs her face. "Yea, I guess we could do that."

"Okay. Okay, good. Any colors come to mind?" Grace finds her notebook in the middle of the mess and looks to Anastasia, hopeful.

"Um, I don't know? Blue?" She honestly doesn't care.

"Okay, any certain shade?"

Anastasia, already over this, looks to Jose. "What colors do you want?"

He shrugs, annoying her.

"Shrugging isn't a color, Jose." Anastasia rolls her eyes.

"I don't know! Isn't this more your realm? Men don't pick colors."

"Men don't pick colors? What kind of Neanderthal comment is that? It's our wedding, Jose! It's for both of us."

"Whatever." He sits back in his chair and folds his arms, done.

"Yea, whatever." Anastasia stands and walks away. Away from the situation and away from him.

"Where are you going, sweetheart?" Carla hollers worried for her daughter. The night has not gone well.

"I'm going for a walk. I'll be back later."

She makes her way out the back door, onto their porch, and stops for a breath. "What am I doing?"

"I've been wondering the same."

The voice startles her at first, but it's one she knows. The smooth baritone voice comes from the opposite side of the porch and she finds him sitting the dark by the stairs.

"Christian. What are you doing out here? I didn't know you were here." She wanders over to him and stands in front of him, looking down at his stoic self.

He shrugs, nonchalantly. "I came to get some paperwork, but saw the car... so..."

"So, you decided to hide out until the coast was clear..." She answers, knowing.

Leaning forward in his chair, he searches her face, hoping to find the answers. "Why are you doing this? Why him? Why now?"

Anastasia chews her lip, looking back at the door. "Not here. I don't want our mothers to overhear. Come for a walk with me." She reaches down, taking his hand, and tugs. "Come on, love. A long walk in nature will do us good."

Finally, he stands, allowing her to pull him down the stairs and down the back walk to the wooded trail. Listening to her talk about her newfound fiance didn't sound like a good time to him, but he wasn't about to let her walk the woods alone.

They wander silently, following the trail for awhile and after the fourth or fifth time of Christian reaching out to steady her where the ground is uneven, she finally lets out a laugh. "You are always on guard, aren't you?"

"I need to keep you safe. It's what I want to do. It's what you deserve." He tells her honestly, wrapping his index finger around one of her long brunette tendrils, tugging lightly.

The sweet gesture of affection makes a tear escape her eye, but she wipes it away quickly. None of this, Steele.

Christian frowns. "I'm going to guess that he doesn't show as much regard when it comes to your safety...or anyone's for that matter."

When she doesn't respond, he urges her to explain. "I know this isn't my business, but why are you rushing this? You two are so... different."

"To be honest... well, it's because of his abuela. A couple months ago she found out that...well, she won't be around much longer and her dying wish is to see her youngest grandson get married. This ring," She raises her hand and the stone sparkles in the moonlight, "it's hers."

"Wait... you're getting married to him because you happened to be the unlucky girlfriend who was dating him when his grandmother made her dying wish?" Wow.

Anastasia sighs. "She's a lovely woman and I don't know that I can live the rest of my life knowing that I'm the reason she didn't get her wish."

"Ana... that is such a heavy burden to put on someone." She might be a lovely woman, but what she put on the two was selfish.

"I just... I don't know what to do." She plops down on a bench along the trail and relaxes back. "I barely know him, but it's not like any men are knocking down the door to date me. I want a marriage and a family and a life that's worth coming home to. I want someone to love me and appreciate me and to build a life with."

Christian dusts off his side of the bench and sits next to her. "Does he love you?"

Shrugging, she looks down at her hands. "I don't know."

"Well, do you love him?" Christian's heart aches at the thought of this.

"I don't know."

He sighs. "There's a lot of 'I don't knows' here Anastasia. That doesn't sound like a great foundation to start a marriage. Has he even been truthful about why he threw that rock?"

"He said it was because of you. But I don't understand why. He seems to hate you, but I don't know what anyone could hate about you." She picks at the hem of her dress.

"He's jealous, Ana."

Her head snaps up. "Of what? You're money...your looks?" She's intrigued that he seems to be more aware of the situation than she is.

"He's jealous of us. You and me. He's jealous of our close relationship... and he can see my feelings for you."

Her heart jumps in her throat. "Feelings?" She croaks out, the lump in her throat making it close.

"Yes, feelings. Do you really not know?" He tucks her hair behind her ear for her so he can see her face clearly.

She opens her mouth to speak but her throat is too dry. Instead, she settles with shaking her head.

"Jesus, Ana. I love you. I'm completely, head over heels in love with you."

She's shocked. "Oh."

Her response causes him to snort out a laugh. "Oh, she says." He plays with her hair and she leans up against him, laying her head against his shoulder. She doesn't know what to say and he understands. Anastasia is a shy quiet soul and her lack of words don't surprise or upset him.

"Can I kiss you?" He feels brave.

"I...what?" Her head pops up, unsure she heard him correctly.

"I know you're still wearing his ring... but this might be my only chance to know how it feels. I just want tonight. Just a few minutes of you, like this. I know the risks and it's worth it to me." He leans his forehead against hers and nuzzles her nose. "Please?"

A small smile forms on her lips. She feels absolutely giddy at his request. She wants it, too.

She nods lightly against his forehead and his grin begins to match hers. It's about fucking time.

He finally leans enough for his lip to touch hers and she finds herself leaning into him, her body relaxing against him as he deepens the kiss. Her lips are softer than he imagined they'd be. He needed more of her. Wrapping his arms around her, drawing her in closer, his tongue found its way to the seam of her lips, willing them to open. Her gasp at his intrusion gave him full reign of her mouth and the deep moan from her just fueled him further.

Anastasia found herself completely consumed by him. His lips, his tongue, his hands...they were everywhere...and it was so fucking sexy. He took complete control of her body and she didn't want it to end. It couldn't end.

Be brave Steele.

Running her hands over his shoulders and around his neck, she pushes against him, throwing her leg over his lap so that she could straddle him. Her sudden bravery makes him growl against her lips and he pulls away panting.

"So. Fucking. Sexy" He growls, kissing her neck between each word. He nips and sucks at her neck and she hums.

"Not the neck..." She pants. "Too obvious." Her fingers dig into his hair and massage his scalp.

Reaching behind her, he unzips her dress and yanks it down enough to show her bra, shocking her further. "Christian!" She's breathless and he ignores her. Dipping down he continues his assault on her breasts, knowing the love bites will be easier to hide.

When he sucks hard on the top of her breast she whimpers out and grinds against the tent his pants. "Fuck, baby. You're so fucking phenomenal." He murmurs against her porcelain skin, nuzzling between her breasts. The thought of nothing but a small swatch of cotton keeping him from her sweet spot is almost too much to bear. "Fuck I need you." He grinds into her.

Whimpering, she pulls his head up from her breasts, leaning her forehead against his. "Please."

His breath leaves him. "I... Ana... are you sure?" There is nothing he wants more bit he's trying his hardest to remain a gentleman.

"Yes. I've never been more sure of anything. Please, Christian. I need you." He closes his eyes, savoring her words before he reaches down between them to unzip his pants.

"We've got to be quiet okay?"

She nods, lifting up enough for him to spring free. Once he's situated, he reaches under her dress and between her legs, pulling her panties to the side.

"Slide up baby..." He holds himself down waiting for her to shimmy up enough and slowly releases, letting his head hit her warm, wet center.

She bites her lip at the feel of him teasing her and wraps her arms around his neck lowering herself slowly until his head is in.

He grunts. "Fuck baby, you're so tight. Take your time." He doesn't want this to be painful for her. He holds her backside helping her ease herself down. She rests her forehead against his and with her eyes closed she slowly continues until she hits his hilt.

He's gritting his teeth, trying with all his might not to take over and plow right into her.

"Feel okay?" He asks, nuzzling her nose.

"Yea." She breathes out and grinds a little, causing both of them to become verbal.

"Baby, move. Please." Christian's patience is running out quickly.

She begins moving, up and down, back and forth and he begins to match her, finding their rhythm.

"You feel so good, Christian." Whimpering, she goes a little faster.

He grins. "See? Nothing to be afraid of." He manages to tease, nipping at her mouth.

She begins to giggle but tears leak out of her eyes.

"Oh, no. Baby, no. What'd I do?"

Sniffling, she shakes her head. "Nothing. You're perfect. It's just so intense. Being with you. It's so intense." She locks her mouth onto his and they continue exploring each other with their hands while their hips continue.

"Christian..." She pulls away from his mouth. "I'm not going to make it much longer..." Her orgasm is fast approaching although she isn't ready for it to be over.

"It's okay. Let go, Ana. I want to feel you. I want to be the one that does it..." He wants to be the reason for all of her pleasure.

When she begins to flutter her head falls back and her chest pushes out making Christian take advantage of the moment. A finger dips into her bra and he yanks down until her breast is free for him and he leans down, taking her nipple into his mouth, his hand cupping her breast.

"Shit, Christian!"

"Sh! Quiet, baby. We have to be quiet." He laps at her bud with his tongue before taking it in his mouth again, sending her over the edge.

She whimpers out, trembling with each rush of her orgasm. "Christian..."

He pulls her closer to him and kisses her lips over and over as he takes over, his thrusts hard and deep.

"Again? Oh, fuck...oh fuck."

He grins at her sentence and goes faster. "Yes, baby. That's it. Finish with me..." Just a few more thrusts...

Christian collapse back against his seat, Anastasia against him as they recuperate.

"I love you, Ana." He whispers squeezing her to him.

She smiles up at him, teary-eyed. "I think I do, too."

Her comment makes him choke out a laugh and kisses her. "God, your fucking phenomenal."

"You too." She plays with the buttons on his shirt. "Thank you for everything. Now I know what to expect..."

"Wait- what do you mean? Have you never had sex like this before?" What kind of losers has she been with?

"Well... no... none like this... or nothing... ever." Suddenly she tucks her chin, shy.

"Are you telling me I took your virginity? Here? In the woods? On a bench? At my parents? God, Ana... why didn't you tell me? You deserve so much more!" Christian is now teary-eyed, angry with himself for not knowing.

She sniffles and lifts his head, making him look at her.

"Please don't be upset. This was perfect. You were perfect. You still are." She nuzzles his nose and kisses his lips. "This meant everything to me. Being connected to you like this... it's perfect." She begins to cry with him and he holds her close.

"Thank you. For trusting me. For this. For giving yourself. Fuck..." He cries harder and he hates it. He's never been a crier.

"What am I going to do?" Anastasia asks clinging to him.

He sniffles, trying to regain his bearings. "First we need to get dressed and make our way back before they come looking for you."

She shakes her head. "I don't want to."

Giving her a sad smile, he wipes her tears. "As much as I would love to stay buried inside of you all night long, we need to go. We have to." Real life calls.

She nods, sniffling, and straightens up, fixing her bra. He reaches behind her and zips up her dress, leaning down to leave a kiss to the swell of her breast one last time.

She raises slowly and upon feeling him slip out, she pouts, but continues to stand to fix herself.

"The alligator is going to come for that..." Christian tries to joke as he shoves his shirt back into pants, trying to retuck what has come undone.

She doesn't respond, but just hugs him, holding him as tight as she can to her.

"Come, baby. I'll walk you back." He says with one last squeeze of her body.

Releasing him, she takes his outstretched hand and the way back to the house is silent. Their hearts feel so full yet so painful. With every breath the pain swells and swirls in their chest, a choking feeling in their throat.

Finally, the reach the clearing and see the house, their entwined hands releasing and dropping to their sides. Their moment is over.

As promised, he walks her to the back deck where Anastasia bursts into tears.

"Hey, hey... have a seat... listen to me." He kneels down in front of her and holds her face in his hands. Her favorite hands. "You listen to me." Christian's breathing is ragged, trying to hold is own tears back. "Don't worry about us. Whatever happens... know I'll be right here. I know tonight has been so emotional so give yourself some time. Think everything over, but just know... no matter what you choose... who you choose, I'll be here for you. Please don't worry about us."

"Christian..." She whimpers out, not knowing what to say. He's too damn good for her.

"Shhh, it's okay. Take some time. I love you. I won't be going anywhere."

She nods and lets out a sob, unable to speak.

Leaning in, he gives her one last soft kiss. "Goodbye, my Ana." As he stands she grabs his hand and squeezes, but he straightens his hand, making her let go.

As he disappears around the corner to the front parking lot, she falls to pieces right there. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she sobs. She's shattering into a million pieces and it's no one's fault but her own.