Veronica's bed was empty when Max woke and she shot up looking around their small room for any sign of her. All she found was Veronica's neatly made bed and missing book bag. Looking at the hall she saw her standing in the doorway to Billy's room and Max rolled her eyes shutting their door so she could get dressed.
He was standing at the mirror fixing his hair, and as if in knowing his eyes shifted left seeing Veronica leaning against the doorframe watching him. "Like what you see?" he asked with a smug grin, his tongue snaking out to lick his lips.
Glancing behind her she stepped into his room making her way to where he stood. He grunted at the sting of her hands on his ass and leaned against her chuckling darkly. "I need you to drive Max."
His smile was gone in a flash and his eyes narrowed as he glared at her in the mirror. As long as he'd known her she always got what she wanted. It wasn't until they all moved in together that he saw the way she used people like they were only there to be of service to her. "What's in it for me?" he asked making it clear he wasn't giving her anything for free.
A smirk curled half her mouth as she stepped back, hearing Neil still in the kitchen as he got ready to leave. They both knew how easy it'd be for Veronica to get Neil to ask Billy to drive Max. "We have the same lunch period, I'll make it up to you." She had her shoes on and her keys in her pocket, she was leaving and he was driving Max there was no other way around it.
"And what are you gonna do?" he demanded like he had any say in this. She had all the power here, what's worse is he'd given it to her without realizing it until it was too late.
She was aware of this too, she knew it was why he could be so mean. "Whatever you want," she answered seeing the smile that slid across his mouth like a knife through butter. His mind was so far down the gutter he forgot he never really had a choice. If she let herself think about it she'd know she wasn't ready to do this with him again. But it got her what she needed. He was out of her mind as she entered the kitchen to grab a banana to take with her.
"You're leaving early," Neil casually remarked with just enough of an edge she knew he wanted a reason.
She shouldered her bag and looked up at him with a smile ready. "I wanted to get my schedule and go over the programs and extracurriculars they offer."
She was an overachiever, always had been, she wanted the world and she knew how to get it. He hadn't been sure of her at first, didn't care for her severe ambition, but she worked hard and was sweet enough to light up every room. So he nodded and told her, "two."
She had two extracurriculars, a part time job, daily piano lessons, and a pair of pompoms when she left California. Her wide eyes narrowed slightly as she studied his face, finding the subtle fondness for her in his stern jaw. "Two, and if I find a third I'll bring it to you." She was toeing a thin line with a short-fused man. But she was agreeing to his terms while making it clear she wanted more, with the added cushioning of clear respect.
As she'd known, he liked that she wouldn't do anything without his okay. She had a way of making him feel like the most important man in her life. "Deal," he said holding his hand out for her to shake on it.
She fit her smaller hand in his and shook it firm and brisk, like a man. But she stepped forward rising on tiptoes and kissed his cheek before she marched out of the house with purpose heavy in her step.
…
Slouched in the backseat of his Camaro, Billy caught his breath watching Ronnie wipe her mouth as she sat up. Her face wasn't flushed, her breathing wasn't ragged, nothing about her was bothered as she fixed her hair. "Could you at least try to pretend you wanted to be here?"
Her fingers stilled against her burning scalp and she took a steadying breath before lowering her arms and turning to him. The honest answer was not anymore than he pretended to care it'd been her mouth instead of anyone else's. But that wasn't fair and it'd only make him angry, and she still needed him. So she smiled. "That was only for you."
He exhaled in a short huff through his nose as he got a hand around the back of her neck: not often but sometimes he had to knock her down a few pegs. "What do you want now?"
He used to fall for that so easily, just the curl of her mouth wrapped him around her finger. But Neil was getting worse and Billy was getting harder, and she wouldn't be able to do this forever. "Drive Max home," she told him. It wasn't a request.
His hand tightened on her neck, his thumb along her jaw, just enough for her to think of choking. "And if I say no?" They were so close he saw her eyes turn to stone, he knew her first thought but she loved him too much to go there.
She took another breath. "I wonder what Neil would say." His face broke open showing a terrible pain but it closed just as fast and filled with rage. She'd already climbed over the seat and was getting out by then. She shouldn't have said that, nothing he did would ever make her do that to him. But she turned to him as he stood over her glowering. "You know I have an interview. We talked about this, the moment I graduate I'm getting her out of that house. You can either do this with me or I will do it without you." Her eyes might've been wide and her voice soft but there was a quiet strength about her that wouldn't yield to him. "I want you with me, Billy," she really thought she did and she could see in his suddenly vulnerable eyes he did too, "but I'm not gonna wait forever for you to decide."
There was nothing else for them to say and if they continued now they'd only hurt each other. And they were already hurting. So she walked away hearing the door slam shut like a clap of thunder. Her eyes closed as though to flinch but her steps didn't falter, she didn't turn back.
…
Veronica's third thing was the job. She knew Neil wouldn't like it, he hadn't liked that she had her old one. So she came ready with a plan: her interview at the music store went well and they wanted to hire her, it was next door to the arcade so Max could do her homework in the back room before playing games until Veronica was done in time to drive them home for dinner, and on the weekends Max could come for a few hours. It worked.
"So let me get this straight," Neil said standing with a hand flat on the counter hovering over her while she and Max did the dishes, "you decided to get a job and then tell me about it?"
"A job offer," she clarified gently, the calm to his quick rising anger. "I didn't wanna bother you if they didn't want me." She said it with a shrug and false humility. "But I have a smaller workload, I can take Max more and Billy even agreed to drive her the other days."
Neil's brow shot up. "Is that right?" he asked turning to his son lingering in the background having known his dad would be pissed.
Veronica hit Billy with that request when she got home and he asked her how it went. He immediately asked what was in it for him, he'd wanted to smack the look she gave him off her face when she reminded him it was a music store. But he did what she told him so Neil wouldn't be angry at both of them. "Yeah, whatever. You said I needed to start helping out more." The whatever had been his idea and she rolled her eyes hating his attitude.
Neil looked between them silently before nodding, his jaw just barely relaxing. "Good," he said looking first to his son then to Veronica. He raised a finger at her. "One slip up and you quit," he warned her. He saw the breath she took, the shifting of her lips to open her mouth and speak, and he tapped the tip of his finger on the point of her nose. "Nonnegotiable."
She paused a moment too long at that before smiling faintly. "You know me well," she said knowing not to push it. She held her hand out to him without a fight.
He shook her hand and pulled her to him kissing the top of her head, his nose in her hair smelling her shampoo, before he pulled away. "Go finish your homework," he told her knowing she wouldn't have had the time to finish it yet.
She nodded and turned to her and Max's room, surprised at how easily he swallowed that. He'd use it against her eventually but she could deal with that when it happened. Her eyes glanced at Billy's closed door knowing he was mad, he hated how much his dad liked her. That's what she needed to deal with, making sure he didn't screw this up for her.
Ronnie and Max sat on her bed with their homework between them. Veronica scribbled furiously but Max was looking at her soft girly features finding little parts of herself in her sister's face. They had the same eyes though a different shade, same sharp cheekbones and a strong jaw, but Ronnie's face was longer and thinner. "It's cool you work at a music store," she said, honestly thinking it was.
With her eyes still on her paper Veronica nodded. "I already asked, the owner said you come in as much as you want. He's got an old record player, said you can pick the music."
"That sounds awesome," Max replied with an almost excited grin. "How many records does he have?"
She had more work than she had time to finish it, now with the job she'd have to work harder. Already she was gonna have to stay up late to catch up what she'd missed in her honors classes. She didn't have time for this. But still her eyes left the page as she turned to Max, who for the first time in over a year looked like herself, and she set the book aside.
They talked well into the night. Max told her about the boys she caught following her, they talked about school and the town, music and more boys, they even talked about Billy. Sometimes Ronnie's voice would get so warm and her eyes so bright when she talked about him, sometimes Max understood what she saw in him. That hadn't happened in a while.
Max was asleep, Billy was on his way, their parents had turned in a while before, and yet Veronica sat at the table with heavy eyes trying to get everything done. The light under his door was keeping him up, not because it was in his eyes or even bothering him in any way, but because he knew she was up. And because he knew her he knew she wouldn't stop until her body did.
With an irritable huff Billy threw his covers off and pulled open the door seeing her sitting with her long hair hanging over her shoulder like a curtain hiding her face. He sat down at the head of the table, in Neil's spot, and set his carton of Marlboros down before flicking his lighter open. With the cigarette perched between his lips he told her, "you've got til I'm done."
Her eyes were half glazed over when she turned to him. "I have to finish this, I'm fine," she was stubborn enough to argue.
"You're fine as hell," he mumbled taking a drag. She was so tired she didn't even notice, he himself was tired enough if he closed his eyes he didn't think they'd open.
She made it about half the stick before her head fell just a little. Even though she jerked awake and sat up he still stubbed out the cigarette and threw it away. Her eyes closed a little too long, when they opened he'd shut the book and she sighed almost relieved. Getting an arm around her back and the other under her knees he scooped her up and carried her down the hall. He wasn't even thinking as he turned left for his room and pushed the door closed with his foot. Standing over the bed he set her down and just about fell on top of her. Her arms around his shoulders had him releasing a long heavy breath as he settled against her chest. She felt like coming home.
.^.
At some point in the night Veronica rolled onto her side and brought Billy with her cradling him against her, his forehead against her cheek. Neil was in the kitchen sipping from the thermos Susan filled with coffee, glancing at his watch wondering where Veronica was.
Max's hand gripped Veronica's arm too tight as she shook her awake. "Christ, what," Billy groaned not yet ready to leave their warm and quiet peace.
But Veronica shoved him off her as she tore out of his room and lunged into the bathroom. She made quick work of getting ready and in under ten minutes was heading to the kitchen looking almost normal.
"Late night?" Neil asked catching the bags under her youthful eyes. Her books were on the table, there was a cigarette butt in the trash; he could put the pieces together.
She knew better than to ever lie to this man, if he was asking it meant he knew part of the answer. "Yeah, Billy and I were talking about him driving Max to the arcade today and me driving her home."
His eyes narrowed studying her face not quite buying it. He'd never buy it after what happened in California. But she looked honest, and she'd only ever been honest with him so he nodded. "Glad you two are working this out," he said reaching a hand to the top of her head as he passed her on his way to the door.
She didn't breathe until she heard his tires scrape the asphalt as he backed onto the street. "You know better," Susan said smoothing back Veronica's hastily braided hair.
"I know."
"After what happened last time he won't be as forgiving," Susan reminded her as if Veronica might have forgotten. As if she could. "I don't want you to have to go through that again." Her knuckles brushed Veronica's cheek and she leaned into her mother's touch.
There was an ache buried so deep inside her sometimes she couldn't breathe, a sense of something missing that took over her so completely it was like the doctor had taken out a part of her with it.
She looked up at her mother's gentle face filled with so much sympathy it made her stomach turn. "I know," Veronica said again, more to get out of this conversation than any real agreement. "I should go, I still have some work to do." With a quick hug Veronica turned for the door catching Billy in the hall coming out of the bathroom. He saw the pain on her face before she was outside, he felt that pain buried deep in his chest still hearing his dad's seething voice saying this was his fault.
...
There was only enough room in her bag to carry two classes worth of books and folders, so between second and third period she was at her locker exchanging textbooks. A boy with shaggy hair she had almost every class with called her name as he stopped beside her with a wide smile, having tried yesterday and today to talk to her. She always found a reason to be busy. Hawkins was temporary, she didn't have time for friends.
So she turned to where he stood on her left with an excuse ready. But his eyes moved beyond her and he swallowed heavily before stepping back. "Catch you later," he said with a nervous smile and turned on his heel.
A wry smirk curled half her mouth as she pushed the locker door open so it laid flat against the one beside her. Billy moved closer raising an arm to lean against the locker just close enough for her to feel him. "There's a party tonight," he stated with enough of an edge to make it clear she was going with him.
"I have work," she told him. He was in a mood, it wouldn't take much today to set him off. She was really starting to hate his moods, she was starting to hate him too.
She shut her locker but he slid in front of her not giving her a way out of this. "Look," he said waiting until her sharp green eyes were on his, "I heard what Susan said this morning. Let's have some fun, Ronnie, go to this stupid party with me."
It felt like forever since they had any fun, she almost couldn't remember. And her own mood was so cloudy she was desperate for a little light. But she couldn't be that simple, so she opened her mouth with a request on her tongue.
His hand cupped her cheek, his thumb dragging over her lips to silence her. "I'll drive Max," he told her before she could ask. Her eyes brightened in a way they hadn't the last few months, she looked like his Ronnie again. He pressed a firm kiss to her forehead before slinging an arm around her shoulders. And it was like old times, when they used to be happy.
...
If Veronica ever heard monster mash again it'd be too soon. She dropped her bag by the foot of her bed having finished most of her work at lunch, between classes, and behind the register at the record store. "What happened?" Veronica asked seeing Max's scowl.
Max didn't make it a full sentence before Veronica stormed into Billy's room slamming the door behind her. Max didn't think she'd ever heard her sister yell the way she did now, Billy's voice was a deep bark but hers rose high over his in a wave of fury – "you don't get to talk!"
She was livid plain and simple, he was lucky she was able retain herself enough not to hit him because she really wanted to hit him. "You scared the shit out of her, threatened to run over a couple kids. You better have a damn good reason. What was it, Billy?"
"Oh now I'm allowed to talk?" he spit through grit teeth. A shadow darkened her face and for a moment she looked like Neil seconds before his arm drew back, he almost flinched.
Veronica took a breath letting that ugly thought go. "Don't worry about driving her anymore, does that work for you?" She could feel the sneer contorting her face and she hated it, she hated him. How quick everything turned to shit.
He was left staring at his door after she closed it, quiet this time. His boot struck his dresser and somewhere inside it the wood cracked. This wasn't Max's fault, he could try to pretend that all he wanted it didn't make it any easier than it was true. It was Ronnie's fault too and he was getting tired of everyone acting like it was just his.
Veronica closed the door to their room and sighed, needing to lean against it for a good few seconds before she could sit beside Max on her bed. If she asked more about it she'd start yelling again, so she settled for something slightly easier. "Were they your stalkers?"
Max was still a little stunned, a little scared - Billy was one of the worst people she knew and somehow her sister scared even him. "Yeah," she said with a shrug. "They asked me to go trick or treating with them."
She might've grumbled that part but Veronica saw through it. "Any of them cute?" she asked hearing Max just about choke.
"What, gross, I'm not answering that." Her brows were knitted and her nose curled like just the thought of it offended her.
But Veronica smiled looking at her faintly blushing sister. "Guess I'm gonna have to make up my own answer."
Max turned to her sharply. "No," she told her not liking when Veronica made her own answers. "The answer's no." But Veronica's smile was growing.
"You see, my answer was yes and I'm always right." Beside her Max groaned dramatically flushing brighter. Now she was ready to ask, "what time did they tell you?"
Her arms were crossed across her chest sharing Veronica's stubbornness. "Seven," she muttered without looking at her. "I'm not going," she told her as Veronica climbed off the bed and stood at the closet.
Veronica rifled through her own things finding the black shirt and pants she'd worn last Halloween and throwing them on the bed. Then she grabbed Max's costume. "In ten minutes he's gonna barge in demanding I go to this party. I'm either going with him or I'm going with you, and I will make sure we run into your stalkers. And I have every intention of embarrassing you."
Heaving a childish sigh Max threw herself off the bed and rifled through a box for her mask. A very small smile curled just the corners of Veronica's mouth as she got dressed thinking maybe, just maybe, Max might get to like it here.
Max sat on the edge of Veronica's bed watching her stand at the mirror fixing her makeup, finding it harder today to see any part of her in Veronica's face. Veronica's stare flicked to the right catching Max's eye in the mirror. "Want me to doll you up?" she offered already knowing the answer was no. And Max did her part in rolling her eyes, but she thought about it for a quick second before shaking that thought out of her head.
"Mike Meyers didn't wear makeup," she informed her sounding meaner than she meant to.
But Veronica didn't seem to notice as she finished putting on red lipstick and set about pulling her hair into a smooth high ponytail. Twenty three seconds past ten minutes their door was thrown open where it slammed into the wall making Max jump. Veronica's expression was bland as she turned to Billy, whose fury melted at the sight of her in those tight black pants and shirt with the sleeves that hung off her shoulders. The first time he convinced her to wear that was two Halloween's ago and it took his breath away now the same way it had then. "Let's go, I'm not waiting on you," is what came out of his mouth. It's not what he meant to say.
Already regretting this Veronica pulled on her pumps and looked to Max. "Have fun," she said with a quick smile that fell the moment she turned away. They met their parents on the front stop who were coming in the same time they were leaving.
Neil looked Veronica over with a frown not liking how tight it was on her, he could taste the word whore on his tongue. But she quieted it with a sweet grin and a kiss to his cheek. "Be back before curfew," he told them knowing with Veronica there really was no need.
The unhappy pair drove in thick silence, the kind that was loud and separating. Her eyes were glassy, her breaking heart was swelling behind them. "There's no point holding onto this anymore, neither of us want it." She was doing this without him.
He parked on the crowded street hearing the music and the wild youthful voices coming from Tina's house. Clearing the lump from his throat he cut the engine and told her, "bout damn time."
They were both frowning as they climbed out of the car, the tie that bound the two together finally breaking. A rough voice called Billy's name and he shrugged her off like a jacket he'd outgrown. And she slipped through writhing half drunk bodies like a ghost needing something to tie her down. She dipped a cup in the spiked punchbowl and gulped it down before she filled her cup again.
"Rough night?"
She turned at the soft mannered voice to find the same boy from before, only his dark hair that normally hung over his eyes was slicked back. "I've had worse nights," she said with a shrug, doing what she always did and tried to make everything better. "Your name's Larry, right?"
"Louis," he corrected with a small smile, his eyes falling from hers to her cup. He shook his head at her soft apology. "First time's free, the second one I will be offended by."
"There won't be a second time."
His smile was bigger this time, his eyes darting between hers nervously. "I know. You look really nice tonight," he tried to say it clearly but it got a little jumbled at the end. It made her smile, flattered though she was already trying to find a way to let him down easy. "Can I offer you a nonalcoholic beverage?"
She looked down at her cup seeing she'd already gone through half of it. Even though she wasn't interested the way she knew he was interested in her, she really missed having a friend. "What are you offering?" she asked glancing at the counter cluttered with an array of bottles.
"It's a concoction my little brother invented," he told her putting her at ease as she thought of Max. "I can't promise you'll like it but I can guarantee you haven't had it before. No peeking."
She chuckled faintly to herself as she turned away and set her cup on the counter. Her eyes found Billy across the room, a cigarette perched in the corner of his scowling mouth. But a hand hit his shoulder ushering him outside to the keg and she turned back to Louis. He handed her the less than full cup and watched her sip it, his mouth a straight line.
He'd mixed several sodas and maybe fruit punch causing a bitter aftertaste. "It's not the worst thing I've had," she said and he let out a breath of a laugh.
"Maybe a little alcohol right?" he said pouring a little from the cup she'd set down. They talked for a while in their corner of the kitchen, she asked him about his brother and he stuttered an answer. She mentioned her sister and he nodded because he'd seen the two of them together. There was a loud whoop and he watched her turn to where Billy was with a small group gathered around him, already making a name for himself. Louis had seen her with him too, yesterday in the parking lot, what they'd done in the back of his car.
She grew steadily heavier until all at once the world seemed to turn on its side and she leaned against the counter. She hadn't drunk enough for this. "I have to go to the bathroom," she tried to say but her tongue felt weird and cottony. She turned and the world turned with it, and it never stopped.
With a hand on the wall she stumbled into the hall feeling a hand on her back guiding her to the bathroom. "You don't look good," Louis' voice sounded far away as he closed the door behind them. His hands gently pushed her down and she found herself lying on a bed.
In the crowded living room Billy glowered at the closed door downing what was left in his cup before turning to the almost pretty girl cuddled up to his side. She was an easy lay, it's what he'd been looking for. Now he was thinking of Ronnie letting some asshole touch her in a way she hadn't let Billy in months. He did his best to focus on the girl with him but his eyes kept sliding back to that damn door, and the more he drank the hotter his blood boiled.
He shoved her aside and stalked down the hall to the bedroom. Ronnie was his and he didn't share, he'd make sure she didn't forget that. The lock turned in his hand and a hot breath left his nose wondering if she wanted him to walk in on her, to see she really didn't need him. God she was such a bitch. He opened the door quietly, not planning to give this jackass time to fight back before he tore him a new one for ever thinking he could touch her.
"Hey, shh, it's okay," Louis said, his breath hot on her face as his hands pawed at her chest. There was no strength in her arms as she tried to push him away, her mouth refusing to open as tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes. He shushed her again as he reached for his belt.
"Get the fuck off her."
Louis jumped up with his hands raised. "We're just drunk," he said before he realized he was saying it to Billy. He didn't hold onto that thought long before he was thrown into the wall.
In a blind rage Billy had him on the ground throwing punch after punch, feeling his nose bend under his fist, his front teeth crack against his knuckles. He didn't know if the blood dripping from his hands was his or the shit bag strewn across the floor. He could've killed him.
He stood over the bed looking down at where she laid drugged and unassuming, mascara smudged at the corners of her eyes from crying. God he could've killed him. The moment he touched her she pushed against him, a whimper sounding in the back of her throat. The sound of that all but wrecked him. "It's me," he told her as he laid over her. "Baby it's me."
His voice had her growing still as she blinked up at him. He was close enough she could see the blue of his eyes. Her lips barely moved as she breathed, "Billy?"
"I got you," he swore to her, his forehead over hers and his hands cupping her face drying her tears. The breath went out of her and he watched her eyes close feeling her relax beneath him, finally safe.
With her cradled in his arms he walked her out into the hall and through the living room. "She's can't hold her beer," he said hearing several loud laughs. They set his teeth on edge as he carried her outside to the car.
Neil was sitting in his arm chair with a beer in hand watching the news, Susan on the couch working on a needlepoint trying to keep her hands busy, and Max was in their room sorting her candy and putting aside the ones she knew Veronica liked best. Neil looked up at the door being kicked open and he was on his feet at the sight of his son carrying his limp daughter. "What the hell happened?" his voice boomed and the windows seemed to shake. "Was she drinking?"
"Neil," Susan said too soft to hear, not daring to try to hold him back.
Without answering Billy carried her to her bed hearing his dad swearing behind him, knowing somehow this would end up being his fault. He set her down and pulled the covers over her before Neil got his hands around his jacket and threw him against the bookshelf, finally having enough. "I asked you a question." His voice was low, that's when it was most dangerous. Not even Max said anything as she sat with wide worried eyes looking at Neil's back. She didn't move, she didn't even breathe.
This time Billy answered. "Someone slipped something in her drink, I took care of it."
Neil processed that still in Billy's face seething, their noses close enough to touch, his shirt balled in angry fists. "Show me your hands." He looked at his son's red knuckles and nodded. "You teach him a lesson?"
"Yes sir."
His eyes were hard as stone as he stared Billy down, but he released a hot breath before letting him go and clapping his arm; not noticing the way Billy flinched. "Good man," he said, but his eyes had already moved to Veronica.
Feeling dismissed Billy went to his room thinking for one terrible moment he should've left her there. He hated himself for that thought immediately. Remembering the way consciousness slipped away from her the moment she realized he was there, as if the only thing keeping her going was the hope he'd show up for her. As if this whole time all she'd been waiting for was for him to show up for her.