Because I have issues, the technology that I previously called NAS is now SimuTech. Please don't ask XD -Scarlet
Chapter 15: Goodbye
Between Steve's work and my funeral planning, we had barely seen each other over the past three days. We would get home late, make some small talk over dinner, and then collapse in bed. It was a relief that I had already booked Mr. and Mrs. Cho's flight back to South Korea for that afternoon.
As I paced in the empty foyer, I drummed the index cards between my fingers. The guests were mingling in the main sanctuary, the priest had arrived on time, and everything was going according to plan. But I still felt like someone had stabbed me in the stomach.
Just then, the huge wooden door of the church shuddered open. Steve and Sam entered, and I sighed in relief—I had almost forgotten that Steve had left to pick him up from the airport. As soon as he got close enough, Sam gave me a one-armed hug. His white shirt smelled like his cologne.
When he pulled back, he wore a sympathetic smile. "Kat, I'm so sorry."
I frowned and dropped my gaze. Despite my best efforts, I could hardly speak. Soon, I would have to speak in front of hundreds of people. "It's okay," I croaked.
Steve's hand slid around my waist and pulled me to his side. I leaned into him, grasping the sleeve of his black suit as if I could siphon strength from him.
Too soon, the service started. We sat in a pew behind the Cho family—Sam, me, Steve, Natasha, Tony, Pepper, and Happy. I tried to pay attention to the minister's eulogy, but I couldn't focus until Mrs. Cho took the stage. A translator repeated her words in English, but her emotion was clear for all to see. Steve's grip on my hand grew tighter and tighter until the priest called for remarks from friends.
As rehearsed, I stood with my index cards in hand. I felt the weight of everyone's eyes as I climbed the stairs of the altar. I set my cards on the podium and then looked up at the audience.
Two hundred blank faces stared back at me. My heart was hammering.
"Helen Cho was one of the greatest minds of our generation," I said in a shaky voice. While the translator said my words in Korean, I stared at my notes and tried to catch my breath.
"As her personal assistant," I continued, "I had the honor and privilege of witnessing Dr. Cho's genius up close."
Chancing a peek at the crowd, my eyes fell on Steve. He smiled a sad smile. My eyes tracked across the row to Tony, who nodded once behind his yellow-tinted glasses.
Drawing in a breath, I pressed on with a little less waver in my voice, pausing after each sentence.
"She knew the vast potential of her research, from a life-saving trauma intervention, to a ground-breaking cancer treatment, and beyond. She envisioned a future with SimuTech in every country, in every hospital, and in every home. As do all of you assembled here, I believe in her. That's why I will be working with her family to publish her extensive findings and meticulous notes to the greater scientific community. We will also be launching a charity for cancer victims in her name—Helen's Heroes."
I took a moment to breathe, feeling like the air around me had run out of oxygen. Once the translator finished, someone in the back began to clap, which quickly turned into a round of applause from the entire room. I looked up hesitantly, unsure whether to feel honored or guilty.
I cleared my throat to finish my speech. "We have to say goodbye today, but we know"—my voice hitched—"that Helen's legacy will far outlive any of us. Thank you."
I retook my seat quickly as the applause began again.
I didn't want to stay for the reception, but I had to. I felt like I was in a trance as we entered the room full of family, friends, academics, Stark employees, and S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Muted conversations filled the reception hall as people stood around with tiny plates of appetizers. When Steve left me to get drinks, he murmured in my ear that he would be right back.
I hovered near the Cho family as the translator conveyed guests' condolences to them, fiddling with the tiny diamond on my necklace. The black lace collar of my dress was itchy and annoying. As my eyes nervously scanned the crowd, I noticed Tony and Pepper making their way toward me.
Tony put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a comforting squeeze. "You were great," he stated.
"Thank you," I said, gripping his hand before it slipped away.
Pepper gathered me in a feather-light hug. "Thank you for putting all this together," she said sincerely.
"Of course," I rasped.
She gave me a reassuring smile before dipping her head towards the Chos. "I'm just going to share a few words."
As she left, Tony wheeled around and gave me a weighted look. "How ya holding up, Campbell?"
I tried to put an earnest look on my face. "I'm fine," I said.
"Mhm." He took a swig of water from his tiny plastic cup, and I suddenly felt parched. "That's what people say when they're not fine."
My expression crumbled, and I didn't even bother trying to fix it. "I'll be better once all this is behind us."
"I know what you mean." Tony's eyes swept over the crowd, and I wondered if he was looking for Steve. His gaze finally settled on me. "Pay me a visit this century, alright?"
I took his subtly offered hand in a warm grasp. "I will. Thanks for coming."
He nodded and glided over to join Pepper, and I resumed my nervous fidgeting.
Thankfully, Steve returned before long with Sam in tow. He handed me a tiny water cup that I immediately sipped on. I noticed Sam's plate was piled high with cheese cubes, crackers, and various cold veggies.
"He said the plane ran out of peanuts," Steve joked.
"Yeah, because I ate 'em all," Sam retorted with a smirk.
I felt an unexpected smile on my face. "How long are you in town, Sam?" I asked.
The two exchanged a glance, and then Sam said, "TBD."
I nodded, hoping it was longer than his usual weekend visits. "Come over and have dinner this weekend," I told him. "Anytime."
He gave me a grateful smile. "You got it."
The rest of the reception passed in a daze. Many people lingered in deep conversations, even after the bulk of the guests had left. When it came time to call a cab for the Chos' flight, I asked Steve to politely tell everyone that the reception was over. Of course they were more than happy to comply with Captain America.
Steve and I were the last ones to leave, save for the funeral service staff who were cleaning up. I thanked them for everything and met Steve in the foyer.
It was snowing heavily outside. Hardly any light made it through the dense clouds, making it feel a lot later than it was. The street was virtually empty outside the South Brooklyn cathedral, and my Honda Civic was one of the last cars in the parking lot. Steve walked me to the passenger's side with the umbrella.
I sat alone in the biting cold, staring straight ahead as Steve brushed some snow off the windshield. I just then noticed the group of snow-covered umbrellas across the street—it was a candlelight vigil of about twenty people. I squinted at their signs.
Pray for Sokovia
177
Remember them
The invisible knife in my gut twisted painfully. Closing my eyes, I let out a long breath that clouded in front of me. Dr. Cho…Johannesburg…Sokovia. I felt the car move as Steve got in and shut his door.
"Kate?"
My eyes snapped open, and I handed him the keys that I was supposed to use to start the heater. "Sorry, babe," I mumbled, zoning out again.
We continued sitting there, long after the air heated up. I eventually glanced over to find Steve fixated on the vigil as well. His brow was furrowed as his eyes scanned each sign. Feeling my gaze, he looked at me. His frown deepened. My stomach clenched.
"How do you—" I shook my head, trying to find the right words. "Cope with all this?"
He reached for my hand and took it in a firm grip. Looking straight into my eyes, his gaze never wavered. "I remember what we're fighting for."
My eyes fell, and I let out a weak sigh. Steve's endless optimism was sometimes too much for me. Leaning forward, I let my head rest on his shoulder. I felt his hand grip my upper arm as I sat there limply.
It was getting too hot, so he shut off the air. In the silence, I heard the sound of wind whistling against the windows. The pressure in my chest felt like a black hole.
I felt him press his lips to the top of my head. His thumb started rubbing circles into my arm. I closed my eyes as comfort washed over me.
"Love you," I said in a muffled voice.
He pulled me closer. "Love you, too."