When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

Lottery: a tax on people who don't understand statistics.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.

The problem with reality is a lack of background music.

I laugh in the face of death..maybe not laugh more like a snicker..a quiet snicker, and I wouldn't do it directly in death's face so, it's more like a quiet snicker behind death's back.

I know at least three people who would love to push me down the stairs.

(Creds ngreaux0813)

Percy Jackson Pledge:

I promise to remember Percy

whenever I’m at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

for Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

when my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''

I promise to remember Tyson

whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

whenever I see someone who doesn’t get along with others

I promise to remember Zoë

whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

whenever a limo passes my car.

Yes I promise to remember PJO wherever I may go