R.I.P. Technoblade.

For those of you who don't know, Technoblade was a Minecraft Youtuber who was in the Dream SMP. He recently died of cancer, so this is a bit of a tribute.

"Mmm… I'm alive again? I thought Piglins weren't supposed to have multiple lives." Technoblade said with a groan as he opened he started to pull himself up off the floor and look about. Then he frowned. "Hey wait a second, this isn't the hall of rebirth… Where am I?"

It was in a dark chamber, on top of a very large circle painted on the ground, along with three other duds he didn't recognize. There were several robed guys standing around him and he had the familiar feel of a sword in his right hand.

This wasn't right. You weren't supposed to have your stuff with you when you were reborn after having a death. You were supposed to come out with nothing. And this wasn't where he was supposed to be. Not to mention that Technoblade and Philza weren't supposed to be able to be reborn at all.

Did Dream do some of his necromancy stuff again? Did he not respawn normally because he died in his bed, rather than in battle, as if Technoblade could ever have died in battle.

Technoblade had been 23-years-old, which was actually pretty old for one of his kind. Piglins didn't normally live for very long. In his final year, he had struggled to maintain his dignity in front of the others as his body slowly weakened. …But now he felt surprisingly good.

"Dream! You here!? Tell me if this is the real world or if this is that whole Limbo thing that Ramboo and Tommy kept going on about!" Technoblade said, looking around the room, half expecting to see the mutant green teletubby standing in a corner, trying to seem mysterious.

He didn't see Dream, but he supposed that didn't necessarily prove anything. He honestly didn't know much about what happens after you die. He'd never had to think about it much, since it wasn't usually him doing the dying. Ramboo and Tommy had described Limbo as being hellish, but Techno felt pretty alright, so this probably wasn't Limbo.

…Was this Heaven?

…Hahahaha!

'Oh Dream XD, you beautiful, beautiful God. I have no idea what kind of strings you had to pull to get me in, but this totally makes up for you breaking my table.' Technoblade laughed to himself.

Well, he had told Phil that he would lay siege to the Kingdom of God, and now it looked like he was going to get the chance. Those idiots even let him keep his swor… wait.

"This ain't my Orphan Obliterator!" Technoblade cried, getting a lot of concerned looks from the surrounding men as stared down at the very very shiny sword, with what looked to be a bright blue Ender Pearl in the hilt.

He opened up his inventory, which looked different than before, and checked the sword's stats.

'Legendary Holy Sword - base form'

Damage - 1

Durability - INFINITE

….

DAMAGE OF 1! THAT WAS PATHETIC!

He might as well just punch them at that point! The sword didn't even have basic enchantments on it! It might have infinite durability, but that didn't matter, because it was totally useless!

'Dream XD, why would you do me dirty like this? I can't be seen walking around with this thing!' Technoblade thought, flushing in embarrassment.

It was as Technoblade was fuming over this that the guys in their black pajamas started to finally speak to him and the other three losers. "Oh Great Heroes! Please save our lands from destruction!"

"Haghhh?"

Technoblade wasn't really paying attention to what was being said to him.

Some guy calling himself the 'King of Melromarc', and who had a name that was too long for him to bother remembering, was talking about some great catastrophe that was coming, something that was going to destroy the world, and he wanted them, the summoned heroes, to fight against the Waves of Calamity and save the world.

Was Technoblade going to do it, sure. It looked like he was probably stuck in this world, and being in a destroyed world kind of sucked. So he would save it.

But not because some 'King' asked him to do it.

As soon as this whole business with the Waves was over, he was going to bring this tyrant to his knees.

'Why wait? Do it now?' 'Blood! Give us his blood!' 'You idiots. Techno has no armor and a weapon that couldn't stand up to a wooden sword.' 'Techno could do it. Techno is the strongest.' 'Yeah, kick his ***!' 'E' 'Techno needs more stuff first. The arrogant b***** can wait for later.' 'Cut his throat now or you are a b****!'

The voices argued, but Technoblade ignored them. It wasn't like their constant chatter was anything new. He was more concerned about the nervous stares he was getting from people throughout the room.

Now, Techno wasn't a stranger to people being nervous around him. You didn't rack up a body count as large as his without making a few people sweat. But those were people who knew who he was, or at least his reputation. These bastards were looking at him like they had never seen a Piglin before. It was making him feel uncomfortable.

"Uh huh. So, you expect us to work for free then? That's certainly convenient for you." The kid with a boy said, getting a small amount of Techno's attention.

Techno had been ignoring this one in particular, as with his ruffled up, short blonde hair, young face and scrawny body, he looked a lot like TommyInnit, and his relationship with the boy had been something Techno never really resolved.

Tommy had been searching for something. He had some great goal that had nothing to do with his government or his friends… and Technoblade never could understand any of it. The boy had been willing to die, but he couldn't figure out what it was for. The two of them had been too different from one another to ever see eye to eye. Techno never understood why Tommy cared so much about those discs, why they were so much more important than him.

But where Technoblade had been willing to stand and fight against the world to help Tommy when he was in trouble… Tommy had turned his back on him without a second thought. He didn't even try to help Techno, despite Techno being the only person who had been there for him during his darkest hour. Despite everything he had done for the boy.

Did Techno hate him? …No. He was bitter, but in the end, Technoblade didn't hate Tommy. But his complex emotions towards the boy made him want to ignore anyone who seemed like him, and by opening up his mouth and immediately trying to extort the desperate people who had turned to him for help in their darkest hour, this kid was showing himself to be a lot like Tommy.

That lovable little scamp.

"It really is selfish, you know. Dragging us into this whole mess." The man with the spear said. He was about medium height, with long blond hair tied up in a ponytail, and a pair of red eyes.

His words sounded angry, but he delivered them with a grin that made it clear he was just haggling.

"They got a point. Everything I've heard so far makes this sound more like a you problem." Technoblade agreed with a strug.

"Guess, there's no need to get all rebellious, these people are asking for our help. …But since we don't have anything to work with here, I don't know how much we will be able to do." The shielder said, trying to play the good cop.

Good man. You always need at least one good cop in these kinds of things to keep people off guard.

He was around the same age as the spear guy, not that Techno was an expert in determining the relative ages of humans. He had black hair and dark eyes, and a sort of… presence about him. One that made Techno feel like he was a pretty chill guy.

"There is nothing to fear. You will all be richly compensated for your efforts. We are also arranging for a discretion fund in order to support you on your journey." The King reassured them, an assurance that Technoblade didn't believe for a second but didn't really care about.

The others grinned at the thought of the money, but Technoblade wasn't quite satisfied yet.

"Material wealth is great and all, but I could get that by myself just abouts anywhere." Techno said, shrugging his shoulders as he looked down on the king from his full height. "If I am going to work for a King, I want something that I can't get anywhere else."

"...And that would be?" The man asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Upon successful completion of my mission, I want you to give me the rank of 'Grand Pigbah' in court." Technoblade said. Everyone stared at him.

"...There is no such rank."

"I know. That's why I want you to make it."

"...Alright. If you defeat the Waves I will bestow the rank of… 'Grand Pigbah' to you." The King said, visibly confused.

"Yes! We win these!" Technoblade said, congratulating himself on his own negotiating skills.

Aultcray Melromarc XXXII was understandably unhappy when the four Legendary Heroes were brought before him and one of them turned out to be a Demihuman of some kind, of the Beastkin variant no less, meaning more of a wild beast than a man.

He was massive, standing at a good six and a half feet tall, was covered in pink fur and had the head of a boar. His muscles were thick, and his skin showed faint scars that told of a long history of battle. But the most bazari thing of all was the way he was dressed, with a silk blouse and pants, and a bright red mantle draped over his shoulders, and on top of his head, he bore a crown fit for a King. …One that carried more impressive jewels than Aultcray's crown.

He had the build of a warrior, the presence of a king, but he spoke like a court jester.

And to top it all off, his self-introduction.

"I am Technoblade. I'm 23 years old and I am a potato farmer."