Rick's Short Misadventure
By: Liber-T.E.A
One day, GLaDOS gets bored. A bad idea then ensues.
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,372 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/5/2011 - Published: 5/3/2011 - Status: Complete - id: 6962827
+ - Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten
1. Rick's Short Misadventure
Just a short little humor fic. It takes place after Portal 2 obviously, and Chell and Wheatley will only be mentioned.
I don't own Portal. Valve does.
One day, GLaDOS got bored. Very bored.
She had spent the day watching her testing robots, who she named "Blue" and "Orange", tackle mediocre tests. The AI had grown tired of watching them high-five and hug each other, so she blew them up and started thinking of a new idea.
Cooperative testing had grown boring, and she didn't have her as a test subject anymore.
Then, an idea struck her. Why not go back to single's testing? The idea sounded good to her, and she looked through her databanks for test subjects.
It didn't take long for her to find that her human test subjects were all long dead, so she became infuriated. Blasted Intelligence Dampening Sphere! You had one job, and you were too stupid to even do that right!
She composed herself quickly, and GLaDOS then started looking through her files for robot schematics.
She quickly brought up the files for ATLAS and P-Body ("So that's their names. Huh."), and she got an another idea. Why not use another Personality Core and modify it so it could test for her?
GLaDOS then recreated her co-op testing bots, and summoned them to her chamber.
"Ok, you two will go down to the Personality Core Storage Facility. I need you to bring me back a good Personality Core that would be able to perform testing for me."
The two bots looked at each other. Isn't that what they were for?
GLaDOS read their minds and sighed.
"This one is for single-test subject Test Chambers. You two will be fine."
ATLAS and P-Body nodded, and they headed out. Watching them leave, GLaDOS had one last warning for them.
"Fail me, and I'll blow you up over and over again until I get bored, which could take days, weeks, or even years."
A few hours later, the two returned with a Core, but it looked awfully familiar...
"Well hey there giant robot lady. What's going on?"
Oh no. Not him again. This brought up bad memories of being a potato.
"I thought I told you to bring back a GOOD Personality Core. What part of GOOD did you two not understand?"
The duo got nervous. P-Body, using their weird language of mechanical sounds, told her that "Rick" would not leave them alone once they told the various Cores what their mission was. She also told GLaDOS that he was technically called the "Adventure Core".
GLaDOS became silent with thought for a minute. She didn't like it, but he would have to do.
"Good job you two, I guess. I won't detonate you two...this time. Continue testing as you did earlier."
At this, the floor beneath the two robots disappeared, and they fell into a Test Chamber far below.
GLaDOS then looked at "Rick".
"Now to deal with you..."
Several more hours later, Rick woke up. He was in a dark Relaxation Vault, but something looked different.
He soon realized that he had legs! And arms! He was like that blue-eyed robot from earlier!
He stood up, jumped around a bit, and was pretty happy. Then, GLaDOS spoke up.
"Personality Core #7331, codenamed "Adventure Core", you have been modified so you can perform testing for Science. These tests will be for a single subject, and you will be given an Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device."
He made a gulping sound, and a ASHPD appeared from a hole in the ceiling. With this, a portal appeared on the wall in front of him, and he was directed through it and out the exit to the room.
Entering the next room, he gulped even louder. Turrets, smash plates, sludge, and a bottomless pit appeared before him.
"Uh...are ya sure this is possible?"
"Yes. Just do it, or I'll blow you up painfully and make you do it again."
With that, he got right to work, only to die instantly under a smash plate.
Three more painstaking hours later, GLaDOS was enraged. He had only completed ONE Test Chamber, and he immediately got shot up by turrets in the room after that. Even Caroline was nagging at her to destroy him.
Those two morons would be punished, but not before she dealt with this joke.
She searched his files, and she deleted his backup data. It was there so he could be rebooted if he was destroyed in a test.
Then, she opened up the floor beneath him, and she dropped him into another room, one filled with turrets.
"Goodbye 'Rick'."
After that, she turned her attention towards Blue and Orange, who she immediately blew up again. They would be revived later, then blown up again, then yelled at, blown up again, and sent back for more testing.
The homicidal AI then relaxed for a moment. This had been a waste of a day, and she didn't want to do this again. Maybe next time she would try something else, but what...
Then it hit her. 'Rick' was a bumbling idiot, second only to that Intelligence Dampening Core, but she did know someone that wasn't completely thick: herself. All she would have to do is create a backup of herself, and then she could load her mind into a testing robot. She smirked on the inside, and she got to work.
Just a stupid little fic, I know, but I felt like writing it.
Please review!
