Chapter 3
Mike began keeping a journal to vent his frustrations once Eric Lauder came to Bloomington and became part of the lives of the Hawkins group. Dustin had been unaware the Will hadn't officially confirmed that he was gay to Mike and had unintentionally exposed that little secret in front of Mike. Although Mike himself had been unable to have that talk with Will- the one where he told Will that it was okay-for the past couple of years, they'd at least had the Mind Flayer to discuss and those conversations gave Mike the opportunity to comfort Will and made him at least feel like he could still be a good friend.
Since Eric had moved in with the Byers-Hopper family, he had become the person who comforted Will whenever he was worried about anything related to the Upside Down. Mike was at their unit quit a bit spending time with El, but he couldn't muster the courage to talk to Will and say what he needed to say. Will seemed like he was frightened and trying to hide it. Mike knew it wasn't about anything related to the Upside Down, but it was Will's personal fear and Mike would reject him. He kept thinking about his talk with Nancy and her guilt over Barb's death.
Dr. Owens showed up one night with several boxes and paperwork that he handed to Eric.
"Emancipation?" asked Eric.
"Sometimes I even amaze myself," said Dr. Owens as he winked at Hopper. "Your parents can't force you to go back and live with them or anywhere else. I still don't recommend telling them where you are, but this gives you a little protection. Your sister and your friend Devon sent some of your stuff." Dr. Owens indicated the boxes.
"Do you think they could visit?"
"We might be able to arrange something," said Dr. Owens. "There's the issue of trying to protect everyone here. Your friend and sister are safer if they know as little as possible. If you want to write to them, I can get those letters delivered."
"I'm sorry," said Will.
"For what?" asked Eric.
"You shouldn't have to hide things from Devon and Debbie. That sucks."
Eric took Will's hand. Will glanced at Mike and quickly away, but Mike saw that same fear. "I'm way better off here than where I'd be if my parents had their way. I doubt I'd see my sister or friends if I was stuck there." He brushed a loose strand of Will's hair from his face.
"Thanks for your help with this, doc," said Hopper.
"Least I can do. Your family's doing more than all the government idiots to fix our Hawkins problem."
Eric began looking through one of the boxes. Will looked with him and noticed a cassette labeled Solar Flare. Will seemed to be determined not to look at Mike. "We should listen to this," he said as he picked up the cassette and nudged Eric.
"I'm warning you, my band sucks," said Eric.
"I'll be the judge of that, c'mon," said Will as he tugged on Eric's sleeve.
"Should we get these boxes out of the living room?"
"There's no rush, go ahead and listen to the tape," said Joyce. "Relax a little."
"Thanks, mom," said Will.
Mike reached out to grab Will's arm as he passed. He felt the urge to talk to him, but hesitated. El looked at him questioningly and he jerked his head towards her room. She followed.
"You haven't talked to him yet, have you?" asked El.
"It's easier said than done," said Mike. "It's really hard for me."
"It's really hard for Will," said El. "It was really hard for me when I felt like you thought I was a monster."
"But I didn't," said Mike. "I would never, I could never- about Will either. He has to know that. We've been best friends since we were five. He was always bullied for... always called those names and we all were still his friends. I just don't get how he thinks that could change after everything."
"Mike, he needs to hear it from you. I needed to hear it too."
"I told you we sucked," said Eric as they listened to his band's tape. Will was curled up next to him as they sat on a bean bag and Eric ran his fingers through Will's hair.
"I like it," said Will.
"Well then you have terrible taste in music, but no one's perfect," said Eric. He pulled Will closer and kissed his forehead. He looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully for a moment. "I think Mike wanted to talk to you."
"I doubt it," said Will.
"I don't think he has a problem with you... with us."
"I know I'm being ridiculous... but his parents, they love all that Reagan stuff. If Mike... if he... I don't know, if he does have a problem with me being...At least I can pretend a little longer if I don't ask."
"Will, I felt the same way about Devin and my other friends finding out so I'm not going to tell you that you're being ridiculous."
"You're not?"
"Of course not. I just don't like seeing you unhappy."
"I'm not unhappy, for the most part... largely thanks to you."
"Good, because I'm happier than I've been my entire life, most thanks to you. But can I ask something?"
Will nodded.
"Do you have... feelings for Mike? I mean, it's fine if you do, I just-"
Will held up his hand. "I thought I did for a while, but I was miserable. I thought I deserved to be miserable too and that it was all wrong. But I met you and I feel happy and right. It's nice not feeling like there's something wrong with me. I guess I had to experience something better to realize that things could be better, you know? Max tried to tell me that in this letter she wrote..." Will jumped to his feet and started pacing. Eric stood up.
"What is it?"
"I think I may have an idea about helping Max. I need to get to the library."
"Okay, let's go!" said Eric.
Will and Eric headed past the living room where Mike and El were watching Labyrinth.
"Is everything okay?" asked Mike. "Where are you going?"
"Just checking on something. Meet us at Max's in an hour." said Will as he grabbed Eric's hand and avoided Mike's eyes..
"This could be a little strenuous on you, El," said Will as he handed her the book he'd gotten from Mr. Clarke as the party members gathered around Max's bed. Will scratched Scruffy behind his ears.
"I don't care if it's strenuous," said El. "Max is my best friend. I wouldn't talk to her for months and she was still nice to me when I went to her for help. She's the first person who really told me to be myself. Skateboarding is Max being herself. If I can help her do that again, I want to." El wiped tears from her eyes before reaching over and caressing Max's forehead.
"Could this actually work?" asked Lucas.
"Why not?" asked Dustin. "El closed a massive gate in Hawkins Lab and that would have kept the Upside Down shut off from our world permanently if the stupid Russians hadn't opened a new gate. If El can close an inter dimensional gate, she can heal Max's bones."
"How did you even think of this, Will?" asked Lucas.
"I dunno," said Will with a shrug. "We were just listening to a tape of Eric's band and it just kinda popped into my head."
"Think you could make me a copy of that tape?" asked Lucas.
"Um, we suck," said Eric.
"No you don't," said Lucas. "Will's idea is the first bit of hope we've had for Max in two years. I'm your band's biggest fan now." He stepped over to Eric and Will and hugged them both. Dustin joined in. El took a seat and opened the text book. Mike glanced from her to Max to the group of four hugging. Lucas and Dustin were effortlessly showing Will their support with a simple gesture; yet he, Mike, Will's closest friend had been unable to discuss the issue that had been putting so much distance between them for far too long. Mike thought of how Nancy was still haunted by Barb's death, how El was desperate to help Max make a full recovery and how Will had almost died twice. The memories of the fake body being pulled from the quarry and Will dropping to the ground in agony as the soldiers burned the vines crept into his mind.
Mike cleared his throat. "Hey, Will. Can we talk... alone?" He glanced quickly at El who gave a small encouraging nod. He thought he noticed significant looks from Dustin and Lucas out of the corner of his eye.
"Yeah, sure," said Will nervously.
"I've got some D&D manuals to show you, Eric," said Dustin. "The party's long overdue for a campaign."
"Thanks," said Eric. "I really don't want to feel like and idiot when I play."
Mike gently tapped Will on his arm and jerked his head towards the door. They walked out of Max's unit and to the floor's empty community room. Mike closed the door behind them and locked it. Will anxiously scratched the back of his neck and stared out the window.
"Are you okay?" asked Mike. "Do you sense him?"
"Huh?" said Will. His eyes flickered to his arm. "Oh, um no. I can never sense him unless I'm close to Hawkins. That's a good thing, I guess." Will stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared at the floor.
Mike took a deep breath. "Look, Will, I know you're scared that I have a problem with you and Eric. I just want you to know that I don't. I'm happy for you, I really am. I'm just haven't been great at saying what I need to say the last few years. I'm sorry if I've made you feel like.. I don't know, I'm just sorry."
Will slowly looked up at Mike. A small smile was on his face and there were tears in his eyes. It reminded Mike of their talk in California. Will started to tremble. He stumbled back and sat on the couch burying his face in his hands as he took deep breaths. Mike rushed over and sat next to Will putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Are you okay?" asked Mike. Will nodded. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just relieved, that's all. I know it's stupid, but I've been terrified that you'd hate me if you.. knew what I am."
"Hate you?" said Mike. "I could never hate you. How could you even think that after everything we've been through together?"
"How could I not think it?" Will muttered.
"What? What do you mean?" asked Mike. Will closed his eyes and shook his head.
"Nothing! Never mind, it's not important anymore," said Will. He quickly stood up and started walking to the door. Mike jumped up and grabbed his arm.
"Will, wait! It is important. Please talk to me."
"Mike, it's fine. We're fine. We don't need to talk about this anymore."
"Yes we do."
"Why?"
"Because, whatever I did to make you feel like I could ever hate you, I don't want to do it again. Ever! Now, please, tell me. I need to understand."
Will took a few calming breaths. He stared at the floor for a few seconds before looking at Mike. "The world isn't exactly fond of people like me. Billy Graham, the preacher that opposed segregation was literally Thanking God for AIDS killing us off."
"Yeah, I know, but I'm not them, I'm your best friend, so what did I do to make you think I'd hate you?"
"It was just a lot of little things."
"Like what?"asked Mike gently as he gave Will's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
Will bit his lip. "The look on your face when you said it wasn't your fault I didn't like girls.. I thought you looked disgusted."
Mike remembered seeing fear and pain on Will's face before he rode his bike out into the pouring rain. "What else?'
"You didn't want to hug at the airport then that fight we had at Rink-O-Mania.."
"About that," said Mike. "I knew what you were trying to tell me that week. I should have had this talk with you then...or before you moved out of Hawkins. A lot of things could have been different... better. But I know that El didn't commission that painting. I always knew."
"I shouldn't have lied about that, I'm sorry," said Will in a voice that was barely above a whisper.
"No, I'm sorry," said Mike. "I saw that you were upset in the the van and all week and I didn't even ask you if you were alright because I just didn't know how to talk about it. I should have told you have wrong you were about something very important."
"What's that?"
"I'm not the heart of the party, Will. You are! You are! You're always thinking about others, whatever you're going through. I was thinking about myself and did things that hurt you and El. You both almost died more than once and I was just thinking of my own insecurities."
"Mike, don't. It's not your fault. I could have said something more," said Will. Mike pulled Will into a tight hug and started crying.
"You tried," said Mike. "It was hard for you and I didn't make it any easier. I've wasted years because I just couldn't tell you that I'm here for you, no matter what. I don't want to waste anymore time. You're my best friend. I love you and I don't want lose you or do anything that hurts you anymore, okay?"
Mike felt Will hesitate then return. "Thanks, Mike. This means so much. I-I love you too. You're my best friend."
After a few moments, Mike gently released Will. He brushed tears from Will's cheek before feeling his own wet cheek. "Maybe we should take a few minutes before returning to the others."
Will nodded. "Probably a good idea." Mike gestured to the couch and they sat back down.
"Things seem to be going good with Eric."
"Yeah, I think so."
"It's just..."
"Just what, Mike?"
"Are things moving a little fast. You haven't known him that long," said Mike. Will raised his eyebrows. "What?"
"Mike, are you really concerned that I'm in a relationship with someone I met when that person was on the run from bad people and hid from the bad people with my family?"
"Oh," said Mike. "I see. Fair point." They both started laughing harder than they'd laughed in years.
