"Yogurt-ta be KIDDIN' me!"
(Or "Paranormal Activia")
"WELL THE LAST TIME YOU REMEMBER, THE YOGURT ALIENS HAD JUST MADE THEIR ATTACK ON THE WHITE HOUSE AND THE SURROUNDING WASHINGTON DC AREA..."
(*PEW!*)
(*"AAAGH!"*) A random woman screamed.
"I WAS RIGHT!" That conspiracy theorist guy exclaimed. "I WAS RI-HI-HIIIIGHT!"
"Yeah, big whoop, pal." Bullwinkle remarked. "CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE ALL IN GRAVE DANGER?!"
"BULLWINKLE!" Rocky exclaimed. "Wait, let's listen to him!"
"Rock, REALLY??" Bullwinkle exclaimed. "You're gonna listen to THAT nutjob?"
"Seeing as the yogurt aliens are DEFINITELY real, he's probably our only hope." Rocky replied, turning to face the conspiracy nut. "Alright, bub, how do we defeat these nasty things?"
"Well for starters, these "THINGS" are called Activians, you uncultured swine!" The theorist retorted. "The Activians of Yoplait-Chobani are made entirely of yogurt, and according to my studies are HIGHLY susceptible to any sound over 90 decibels!"
"I'm immediately regretting this decision." Rocky briefly remarked.
"Any sound over 90 dressy-bells ya say?" Bullwinkle replied, scratching his chin.
--
"A MASSIVE STAGE WAS QUICKLY SET UP AT BULLWINKLE'S REQUEST, HE HAD A MICROPHONE IN FRONT OF HIM, ROCKY HAD AN ELECTRIC GUITAR."
"Okay, Rock..." Bullwinkle spoke. "Time for plan AEROSMITH!"
(*music starts*)
"Don't want to CLOOOOSE my EYYYES,
I don't want to FALLLL asleep
'Cause I'd miss you ROCKY,
And I don't want to miss a thing…" Bullwinkle awfully sang.
"ALL OVER WASHINGTON THE ALIENS HEARD BULLWINKLE'S ABSOLUTELY DREADFUL SINGING, AND WHEN THEY HEARD THAT MOOSE'S VOICE, THEY INSTANTANEOUSLY EXPLODED!"
"Keep it up Bullwinkle, it's WORKING!" Rocky exclaimed, continuing to play his guitar.
"'CAUSE EVEN WHEN I DREEEEAM OF YOOOUUUU,
THE SWEETEST DREAM WILL NEEEVER DO,
I'D STILL MISS YOOUUU ROCKY,
AND I DON'T WANNA MISS A THIIIIIING!!"
"PRETTY SOON, EVERY ACTIVIAN HAD BEEN EXPLODED, AND ALL THAT REMAINED WAS AN ENORMOUS PILE OF REGULAR YOGURT. THE CROWDS CHEERED FOR BULLWINKLE, AND ROCKY REMOVED HIS EARPLUGS."
"Glad that's over." He spoke, sighing in relief at not having to hear his friend's awful singing voice.
--
"FINALLY, THE FOURTH OF JULY CELEBRATION COULD BEGIN, AS ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE WERE LED UP ONTO A MASSIVE STAGE IN FRONT OF THE WHITE HOUSE. THE PRESIDENT TAPPED THE MICROPHONE AT THE PODIUM AND BEGAN HIS SPEECH."
"I er ah, President Gerry Mander, would like to thank Rocky and er, ah, Bullwinkle, fer DESTROYIN' THOSE YOGURT ALIENS!" The President exclaimed, much to the applause of everyone.
"Yu go Moose!" Boris exclaimed. He and Natasha were wearing orange prison jumpsuits, about to be hauled off into a maximum security prison.
"I er ah, will give em' the MEDAL OF HONAH! HAPPY JULY 4th!" President Mander exclaimed, handing both Rocky and Bullwinkle the Medal of Honor just as the fireworks went off in the distance.
"WELL IT APPEARS AS THOUGH IT'S THE END OF THIS REALLY STRANGE EPISODE! HAPPY JULY 4TH AND MAKE SURE TO BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE!"
End.
Music:
- "I don't wanna miss a thing, Rocky"
(Originally "I don't wanna miss a thing" by Aerosmith, performed by Bullwinkle)
- Genius of Love (Military Cadence version)
(Originally by Tom Tom Club, sung to the tune of "I don't know but I've been told")
