The boy shivered when he felt the cold metal of the blade on his arm, the voice in his head still screaming insults and threats. He slowly dragged the blade across his arm, feeling the sharp metal piercing through his skin. Blood trickled down his arm painting the floor red, a lone tear made its way down his cheek. But he didn't feel the pain, all he felt was numb. He sprayed his wounds with sanitizer, and smiled when he felt the agonizing pain. Scars littered his body, some fresh, some old. The most visible one was perhaps around 12 inches long, running from his collar bone to the middle of his chest. At least the voices would stop screaming, that's all he wanted.

He knew that he was losing blood rapidly, but he didn't care. The voice wanted this, he already had anemia and the loss of blood was making him dizzy. He was about to wash the warm red blood off his arms when a flashback was triggered.

"How did I even give birth to you, why didn't I die before giving birth-

the worst son ever."

Tears were streaming down his face as rage overcame him. He punched the wall and screamed at the top off his lungs, "make it stop- please", his voice cracking every once in a while; his right hand was aching, but he didn't care, he said it again, "please make it stop", but this time it was barely a whisper. The water from the shower was on, washing the blood from the floor.

He cried harder, why did everyone expect so much from him he thought, the floor was light pink from his blood and the air smelled of soap. His legs gave up on him as he crumpled on the floor, days of starvation finally caught up to him. Sleep deprivation was taking a toll on the boy. The voice was too much for him; it didn't let him sleep. He wanted to die, to finally rest and forget about everything; suicide seemed like a good option, he recalled that one time he was so close to the railing, his legs dangling in the air as he stared at the blue sky, he remembered swearing at the sun for being so bright. He chuckled, good old times. The boy thought about his past, his life decisions, his mistakes, he was often blamed for things he didn't do.

There were people who hated the boy, even if he did nothing bad, they hated him for just…existing. Even he hated himself, so he didn't expect others to love him. "I fucking hate myself", his words were barely audible because of his raspy throat. The voice laughed at the boy's current state
"Pathetic", he could feel the voice shaking its head, "really pathetic, you said that you would never break, you said that you were strong". The boy froze as the voice's laughter echoed in his head. "Fuck off; I am strong" the boy mumbled. The voice sneered "pffft- you definitely are strong" his words were dripping with sarcasm. "Now, for being this pathetic, why don't we take a trip to the future?" the voice said, an animalistic growl evident in his tone.

The boy cursed himself for angering the voice; earlier he controlled the voice, he made the voice himself inside his mind because he needed someone to talk to, but now the voice controls him, slowly but surely pushing him to the brink of insanity. He groaned internally when the voice started showing him a scenario of his suicide, "see that? That's what's gonna happen to u" the voice exclaimed. The boy stayed silent and just watched the scene, the blood and gore from the scene didn't affect him as he was used to it. He saw his body covered in cuts and scars on the floor of his bedroom, he was lying in his own pool of blood, his finger nails were ripped off and one of his toes were missing. To a normal person, the scene would be horrifying, traumatizing even, but this boy, he wasn't normal. The blood loss from the earlier cuts made him weak and his body was about to shut down. "look at you, you should just give up and finally die u bitc-"

He passed out on the floor of the restroom before the voice could complete his sentence.

Time skip

The boy woke up 3 hours later with a major headache and dried blood on his arms.
"Hello Perseus" a female voice, smooth as silk, greeted the boy
"Hi" the boy, now known as Perseus, greeted Emily back in a monotone voice. Emily was another voice that he had inside his head but unlike the first voice, she was nice and cared for him. "You want to talk about what happened when Ean was in control?" worry evident in her voice. Ethan gritted his teeth, "Nothing much". He cleaned himself and stepped out of the restroom. He didn't eat any proper meal for the last few days as he lost his appetite, not that he cared, he was surviving on the bare minimum food required to run a human body. He changed into a pair of black shorts and a pale yellow t-shirt and sat down on his bed. Perseus sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"Emily?"

"Yes?"

"Is it worth it?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"is it- is it worth living like this?"

Emily stayed silent for a second before replying

"Yes, you have people out there who care for you Perseus, like Nico, Grover, Jaso-"
"Stop", Perseus whispered "I- I know, but- but it's just too hard- you were there in my head for the past 6 months, I told you everything about me, I admit that the first 3 months were nice, but then, Ean started controlling me- manipulating me…I am just tired of this, don't you think I deserve a break?"

"But-"
"answer me in yes or no Emily"
For the first time in forever, Emily didn't have an answer to a question, the boy suffered too much, he deserved to rest, but she didn't want to admit it. She knew that he saw too much for his age, he saw things that could traumatize even war-hardened soldiers.

Perseus smiled, but this smile wasn't a happy one, it contained pain, hurt and raw emotions "That's what I thought. You know, I am tired of keeping this mask on" Perseus sighed, his voice cracking with emotions, "Everyone just thinks that I have a perfect life, but they don't know that I am suffering, they keep expecting great things from me." Sobs racked his body as he struggled to speak.

"I am sorry, life has its ups and downs, you can't skip chapters in life, it's not how life works. You have to read every line, meet every character. You won't enjoy all of it. Hell, some chapters will make you cry for weeks. You will read things you don't want to read; you will have moments when you don't want the pages to end. But you have to keep going. Do not give up Perseus, you are the strongest person I have seen." Emily said softly

"There's a saying Emily, a human being can survive almost anything as long as he sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. And I am not just suffering from depression, but also trauma….The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal Emily" Perseus managed to choke the words out, his lower lip was trembling and his eyes were puffy.

Emily was stunned, each word contained so much pain, that she wanted to curl into a ball and cry. This boy, she was surprised that he managed to stay sane until now, Emily felt sorry for letting Ean wake up.

The two voices were like the sun and the moon, polar opposites, when one was awake, the other one was sleeping, even though Perseus created them, he doesn't have any control over them now, instead, they control him.

"Death, my fault, blood, rape, scars, Gabe, cuts, dark-", he kept ranting.

Emily sighed,

Perseus was broken,

truly broken,

probably broken beyond repair.

Emily finding no other way, started singing, a melodious tune that left Perseus speechless, he loosened up, relaxing his stiff shoulders, unclenching his fists as he kept listening to the soothing voice of Emily, she might just be a voice, she might just be a fragment of Perseus's imagination, but she had the voice of a siren, she held the power of captivating Perseus, to make his pain go away for a brief amount of time, and that's what she was trying to do. Perseus's eyes started getting heavy as he kept getting lost in her euphonious voice, he tried to keep his eyes open but to no avail, Emily's voice was magical, almost as if she had the blessings of the nine Muses and lord Apollo himself. Perseus finally closed his eyes, entering a dreamless slumber for the first time in forever.