Tricia's obliviously joyful announcement felt like a kick to the gut.
The idea that Ellen had promised herself to another before their kiss... it just seemed to belong in some sort of different world. One where their paths had not crossed.
Alex sighed heavily, losing himself in the memory of her in his arms. Her honey blonde hair pressed against his nose and her starry eyes looking into his. The music, seeming like it was only playing for the two of them.
"Alex? Is something wrong?" Tricia's voice brought him back down to Earth.
"Uh... Trish, you- you don't mind if I leave a little early, do you?" he asked.
"Why? Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah, just... my stomach's feeling a little weird," he lied, giving his middle a quick pat. "And I'm a little tired."
"Oh," Tricia's face fell a bit before it turned sympathetic. "It's okay. Hope you feel better."
"Thanks," he said, giving her an awkward side hug before he left.
The drive home felt like an eternity. Every station in Columbus must have had some sort of omniscience, as they all seemed to play love songs, mocking him. A small part of him was thankful that the stations didn't seem to have that Billy Vera song in their rotation.
Once he pulled into his usual parking space at home, he immediately forgot his walk from the car and up to his room. He discarded his suit onto the floor, not even bothering to put it in the hamper, and changed into his pajamas.
He laid down on his side and buried himself under the covers. Maybe a good night's sleep would help him forget tonight.
Forget how natural it felt as they held each other close and swayed to the music.
Forget how it felt like he had found the missing piece of a puzzle when their lips met.
Forget how... magical, for lack of a better word, it was.
But, when he closed his eyes, all he could see was her.
Ellen.
He tried to tell himself the same thing that he had told his mom about her on the day he had met her.
Then she starts in- real know-it-all, you know, like she knows everything about me. "You're an economics major. You voted for Reagan. You're in the Debating Club. You're in the Young Executives Club."
Well, all that is true.
I quit the Debating Club last spring! And then she tells me I'm insecure.
He tried to tell himself what he told his dad on the day he had given Ellen that painting.
The crazy thing is she's got this roommate, an art major for crying out loud, who I have absolutely nothing in common with. And for some unknown reason, I think about her constantly.
But, no matter what he tried to remind himself, it actually told him why he was feeling this way about her.
He loved that she challenged him in ways that no one had before.
She wanted to show the world how she saw it in her own unique way, and very talented at it, too.
She was sweet and thankful and kind and-
Alex told himself to stop before he would only wind up making himself miserable again. He clutched a pillow close to him, pretending that it was Ellen. He found it to be a poor substitute.
He drifted off to sleep as dreams that would never be filled his head.
