Convincing Yama to someday adventure with him was perhaps the greatest moment in Kei's life. Silly pacts as children meant nothing, but now they were almost men, and Yama had made a promise. There was no trickery, no hidden meanings, no carefully worded and deceiving requests. Yama knew how promises worked with the fair folk, and the thought filled Kei's chest with euphoric joy. With Yama there to heal him, to serve as a safe foundation, they would be unstoppable. Life as an adventurer had long lost its luster when Akiteru left, but at the prospect of traveling with Yama, Kei found himself investing a new vigour into his studies.
While others his age tittered with excitement over courtship gifts and handsome faces, Kei's blood thrummed with a newfound thirst for knowledge and progress. If he wanted to make Yama proud and keep him safe, he would have to be the best adventurer out there. Gone were the days of comfortably staying in the middle with lackluster performances instead, Kei climbed the ranks of his peers with a ravenous lust for improvement. Often, Kei found himself consumed with the same drive to succeed as Kageyama and Hinata. The thought of sharing an interest with those single-minded animals almost made Kei curb his ambition, but he had a reason beyond fame for his actions, so clearly, he was still better than them.
Rather unsurprisingly, Yama became Kei's greatest motivation, his reason to extend effort into most things. If it meant he would get to spend more time with the human, Kei would do it without complaint. Perhaps the control Yama had over Kei's actions should have concerned him, others were certainly interested in his change of tune, but if anyone had known both of them they would have seen it as inevitable. Yama was, after all, an exceptionally compelling human. His first friend, his first real connection, when Yama was hurt, he ran to Kei, when Kei's life shattered in front of him, it was Yama who stayed at his side.
Kei was well aware that he had not originally treated Yama well. He hadn't even planned on befriending the human rather, he had sought to trick him and gain power. He had been cold and distant at first and had returned to petulant bitterness after the betrayal of Akiteru. But Yama, delightful, patient, loyal Yama had stayed through it all. Kei did not deserve such a wonderful friend as Yama, and the human deserved much better than Kei, but for as long as Yama would be willing to put up with Kei's attitude, the faerie would stick around. Yama was, after all, the best thing in Kei's life.
Earlier, far earlier, in their friendship, it had been Yama who would bring treats to Kei. Mostly sweets and edile goods, but sometimes human trinkets. And for no other reason than that it might please the human, Kei found himself bringing trinkets and delicacies of his own to their weekly meetings. Sometimes he would bring a pastry or sweet that only the fair folk knew the recipe to, other times, he would gift Yama with finely crafted baubles, animals spun of colorful glass and sunlight, sometimes he could even convince Yama to accept delicate jewelry of precious gems and moonbeams. Each and every time Yama's face would all but glow with happiness, and that alone was worth the effort Kei put into finding and crafting the gifts. It wasn't until his mother brought it up that he noticed how strange his behavior might have appeared to others.
Kei had just finished up his studies and practices with Hinata and Kageyama, he had not invited them but they came anyway, and was rather desperately searching for Yama's latest gift. He found it, not in his sleeping quarters like expected, but held delicately in his mother's hands. She grasped the ribbon lightly in her hands and peered at it with a scrutinizing gaze, turning it over and looking at it from all angles. When she noticed Kei's presence, she turned and gave him the same appraising stare that had been previously focused on the ribbon.
His mother had been quieter since Akiteru had left, sadder for both herself and Kei. It was the fact that Akiteru never came back that had really shattered the family, and behind his mother's curious gaze Kei could see traces of fear and resignation. She smiled a smile filled with warmth, but Kei could tell it hid a sadness. Lightly, his mother stroked the ribbon and spoke.
"You've been coming and going with a lot of gifts recently, dear," It was not a question, just a statement, and yet it was.
Kei shuffled in an uncharacteristically nervous manner, he knew where this conversation was heading, and he did not like it. "I suppose I have, what of it?"
Again his mother smiled, a little happier this time, still sad, but with a kind of amusement. "They're for that human boy of yours, aren't they? Yama, was it?"
Kei found it strange to hear Yama's name be uttered by anyone but him. He was not surprised that his mother knew who Yama was, he had bragged about his new friend to his whole family when they first met, but he was surprised she remembered. His family did not speak of Yama often, outside of Akiteru, none had met him, and when they did, he was almost exclusively referred to as 'Kei's friend' or 'Kei's human'. But his mother had referred to Yama by name, there was no room to back out of the conversation.
"Yama likes them. His village does not have the same fine wares that we do," Kei felt no need to say he was repaying Yama's kindness with gifts, it was a flimsy excuse at best. Deep down, Kei knew why he brought Yama so many fine things and saw no reason to hide it. "I like seeing him happy. And he is happy when he can learn about our people and our things."
Kei's mother handed the ribbon over but motioned for him to take a seat. The conversation was not over, absently, Kei hoped he wouldn't wind up late. They both sat, and silence enveloped the two.
Kei's mother twisted her wedding ring and tentatively restarted the conversation. "I'm sure he has ribbons in his human town. Why bring him this one?"
The question was a trap, and Kei knew it. He had put much time and effort into crafting a ribbon of pure starlight that would never get tangled or come undone. It was an excessive amount of work to put in for a simple friendly gift. His mother already knew that, so Kei did not answer.
His mother sighed and set her hand on top of Kei's clenched fists, cupping them in her own soft hands. She stroked Kei's hands, and Kei kept his eyes focused on the winding white patterns that adorned his mother's arms.
"Don't run away from your father and I like Akiteru did," she squeezed Kei's hands and continued, "Neither of us cares that he is human, or that he is not from here. We want you to be happy." The unspoken 'I don't want to lose you too' hung in the air, desperate and pleading.
Kei got up and nodded, "I know. I am not Akiteru, mother. I am not ashamed of Yama."
With the simple utterance, all of the tension left his mother's body as she let out a heaving, relieved sigh and slumped in her chair. Her eyes glistened with unshed pride as she stood up and hugged her son. Kei did not recede from the affection as he normally would, but returned it and stooped down to kiss his mother's forehead. When he was finally released from the embrace, he headed out to where he knew Yama would be.
As he walked along the familiar path, Kei mulled over the conversation. It had not occurred to him until then that he might feel something stronger for Yama than just friendship. It had been a shock, yet simultaneously not, that his mother would suggest that he might run away with Yama as Akiteru had with his human. The notion was at once ridiculous and entirely possible. If Yama were to just ask him, or if his parents had held any resentment towards humans, Kei would leave in a heartbeat. Was this how Akiteru had felt?
The melodious chirping of birds broke Kei out of his thoughts. As they sang and flitted about in the air, they told Kei that Yama was already waiting by the wisteria. The birds also sang to hurry, they didn't want to keep Yama waiting. The birds absolutely adored Yama, most of the forest took to the human as if he were a faerie, but the birds loved him most of all. Perhaps not most, Kei was still there, after all. Still, he rushed the rest of the way to the pond where the other was waiting.
And there he was, reclining under the massive wisteria tree and looking like one of the elegant protagonists out of an illustrated novel. The light of the setting sun illuminated Yama, setting his face awash in a soft orange glow. Kei had only noticed it now, but his friend was truly a sight to behold. Yama looked so peaceful, face contentedly raised to the sky, that Kei almost didn't want to disturb him. Almost. The desire to simply bask in Yama's presence overruled the desire to leave him be.
As usual, the human heard him approach. It didn't matter how quietly Kei walked, or how poor human hearing was in comparison to that of the fae, Yama always heard him coming. Yama turned and gave that wonderful smile of his, Kei couldn't help the grin that appeared in return. The two started into their conversation, talking about town gossip and their studies. All the while, the ribbon burned a hole in the back of Kei's mind.
He would tell Yama his true feelings and then give him the ribbon, it would stand for their affection. If Yama felt the same way. So as to minimize potential fallout, Kei also decided he would present the gift at the end of the outing, just in case.
As Yama recounted the village gossip, Kei focused on his voice. Not his words, Kei could care less for the suspected trysts and rendezvous of the various townsfolk, but Yama's melodious voice, warm and sweet like the sunrise on midsummer mornings. Just being in the presence of the other, being able to hear his wonderful voice and see his imperfect beauty, was all Kei wanted out of life.
As he listened to the recounting, Kei ran his fingers through the moss and ferns growing in the shade of the tree, both plants a unique shade of green, a green that was almost but not quite the same as Yama's hair. Kei switched his focus to the tree that the two of them were rested against. The massive trunk, reaching up into the sky with brown bark that could never compare to the rich depth of Yama's eyes. He absently dug his heels into the uncovered soil by the bank of the pond. Soil that the others had once callously compared Yama's freckles to. The humans at the village were wrong though, Yama's freckles were nothing like dirt, they were beautiful. Beautiful like the stars that graced the night sky, beautiful like markings on the fallow deer and their fawns.
Kei realized how often his thoughts reverted to Yama, like a bird flying in the sky yet returning to the same nest year after year. The boy was constantly on his mind, wedged into Kei's thought process like a splinter under the skin. Except, Kei found that he didn't mind this splinter. In fact, he was quite fond of it.
All too soon, the twilight turned into proper darkness. As much as the wild had grown to love him, it still wasn't safe for Yama to stay past dark. With his superior vision, Kei led his Yama back to the human path, accompanied only by the fireflies and the trill of a nightjar. The mushroom ring was, like all other nights, the place where they parted, bade to return by their respective worlds. While Yama turned to leave, Kei steeled his nerves and readied himself to confess.
"Yama, hold on." Kei took hold of the human's delicate wrists as he spoke. "I have something for you."
Yama turned to him and tried to suppress the excitement and hope from showing on his face. He failed. "Yes?"
Kei swept Yama's long hair back from his face with a gentle hand and tied it up neatly with the ribbon he had brought. "You were saying earlier, that your hair got in the way while working. This ribbon will only untie at your command, and it won't knot in your hair."
Yama smiled as Kei finished and tentatively touched where his hair was pulled back " I don't need to cut it now! Thank you, I've always liked it longer like this!"
Kei lowered his hand from Yama's hair and moved it to caress his cheek, "I know, I like it longer too. You look very lovely."
Neither of them moved, Yama's large doe eyes stared into Kei's, and Kei was frozen with a last moment panic. He had only just remembered the customs of the human world. Men did not love each other there, they could only be with women. To be with another man was surely a crime in Yama's town, or looked down upon at the very least. What if Yama thought less of him for his love? Or worse, what if Yama's village found out? That would surely be the last straw for them; the freckled boy was too different already, Kei did not want Yama to die for his love.
Kei removed his hand from the other's face, "It's getting dark, you should head home before the moon is up."
Yama simply nodded and once again turned to leave, and like a coward Kei let him. It was too risky, confessing. Kei had been acting like a besotted fool and had failed to realize the potential consequences of his actions. No, he would leave his affection undeclared for the time being. He could wait, no matter how long.
Love, after all, was a long time coming, and now that it was here, Kei was never going to let it go.
