Ladybug hung her feet over the edge of the rooftop, the setting sun splashing the horizon in golds and ambers. She closed her eyes and felt the warm breeze on her face. The streets below were filled with summer holiday makers who were making the most of the longer warm days and the conspicuous lack of akuma attacks.

Whatever Monarch, as he was now known, was up to was something Ladybug could only speculate. One thing she knew for sure though was that whatever it was, it wasn't going to be good and the longer this hiatus went on the more worried she began to be.

"You beat me back again m'lady." Chat Noir said, landing beside her and sitting down. "In my defence I was held up by a poodle puppy caught in some shrubs. I'm just glad our suits are indestructible." He chuckled, shaking his hand. "I don't think he appreciated my help somehow and my hand almost became his new chew toy"

"Excuses, excuses." Ladybug waved her hand around dismissively. "I still beat you back here fair and square." She flicked his bell which always brought a smile to his face.

"Indeed. The victory goes to you LB. Ask away, I'm ready for your interrogation."

Ladybug smiled to herself and thought for a moment. It was a new game they had begun to play recently, a little way to get to know each other a bit better. Since that fateful day where Ladybug lost all the Miraculous, she had resolved to open herself up more to Chat. She had realised one of her biggest mistakes was that she mistook Félix for his cousin Adrien because she didn't know Adrien as well as she thought she did. With Monarch holding the miraculous of the Fox, and Félix the miraculous of the Peacock, Ladybug knew that one of her best defenses against deception was to know more about her partner.

The first time they tried to have a heart to heart Ladybug clammed up. She had to admit that being vulnerable was harder than she thought, which was why it had been Chat's idea to make it into a game. Whoever was last back from patrol would have to answer a single question. She knew that for the most part he was 'losing' on purpose in order to allow her to ask the questions without feeling pressure to answer too many herself. It was just like him to do that.

If it had been anything that Chat had shown her since that fateful day Monarch made his threats to the people of Paris, it was that he could be trusted. It wasn't that she didn't trust him before, but she had let her own fears get in the way of her better judgement and she hated herself for that. She had let him down, but more than that she had let herself down. Her own insecurities led her to try to micromanage everything to her own detriment in the end - and yet he was still there, still standing beside her.

Ladybug turned her head to look at Chat, the soft orange glow of the sunset falling across his face as he looked out over the horizon, waiting for her question. He seemed different to her somehow now. There was a strength and determination there that she hadn't seen before, or perhaps she had just failed to notice. It reminded her that she didn't need to be the strong one alone. Master Fu had chosen them to work together for a reason. They shouldn't have secrets between them and yet there was one secret she was still keeping close to her chest, one secret she was afraid to tell him about. Maybe it wasn't so much that she hadn't trusted him, maybe the truth was that she hadn't trusted herself.

Chat turned to her, a playful smile on his lips and she could feel a treacherous fluttering in her chest. She shouldn't feel this way looking at him. His smile shouldn't make her heart feel like putty. She had only ever felt like this around Adrien but she had put that part of her heart to one side. She can't be focused on a relationship while Monarch was at large, and she shouldn't be feeling like this when she looks at Chat Noir. Loving Adrien was a risk, but having feelings for Chat… that was the end of the world.

"Cat got your tongue m'lady?" He said with a wink. "Have you run out of questions already? I thought I would have been more of a mystery to you then that"

Chat laid back on the roof with his hands behind his head, his eyes closed towards the sky and his smile still playing on his lips as he soaked up the sunlight. Ladybug quickly turned away before he opened his eyes again. She didn't want him to catch her staring at his face, and she definitely didn't want him to catch her blushing. She placed her hands on each side of her face. Why was she blushing?

She knew why she was blushing. More than once now Ladybug felt that same familiar flutter in her chest when she saw him. Yes, Chat was handsome, most of Paris had that well established, and well maybe she had a type with guys who had blond hair and green eyes.

"What's your favourite colour?" She asked hurriedly, realising he was still waiting.

He heard him let out a chuckle. "You asked me that last week, remember?"

"Oh right." Ladybug replied, trying to think of something else to say but her head was all a muddle. She needed to stop these feelings creeping in. It was too dangerous to think of Chat as anything other than her crime fighting partner. It was too dangerous to let her guard down. It had all gone so horribly wrong before and she had to remind herself of that no matter how much she wanted to hold onto him and not let go.

Chat popped an eye open and could see the frown on her face. "Is everything alright bug?" He asked, propping himself up on an elbow.

"Hmm… what? Oh sure, everything's fine." She said, trying to smile. Chat shook his head. He knew a fake smile when he saw one, he did enough of that himself in his civilian life. He sat up and leaned closer to her.

"Bug, we talked about this. If something is bothering you, tell me about it. No more secrets except for the ones we have to keep for our identities." He placed a supportive hand onto her shoulder and she felt her heart thump in her chest. Why did he have to look at her like that, in that patient gentle way full of adoration that made her want to throw her arms around him. No, no I can't do that, she scolded herself.

Ladybug turned her head back to the horizon, swallowing hard. "Do you… do you ever regret getting involved in all this?" She asked him, her voice dropping into melancholy. Chat raised an eyebrow at her.

"All this?"

"Being a superhero. Having the responsibility of this whole city on your shoulders? Never being able to tell those you care about what they really mean to you because your afraid of hurting them." She became lost in her own thoughts, twiddling her thumbs in her lap.

Chat looked at her with a mixture of confusion and concern. It was clear she was asking herself that question more than to him. "Is that an official question?"

Ladybug suddenly looked at him with wide eyes and looked very flustered realising she had said too much. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that. Forget I said anything."

"No no, it's fine." Chat reassured her. "I'm happy to answer because it's no. I've never regretted my Miraculous, or what that has entailed."

"But, doesn't it interfere with your life?" Ladybug questioned him with furrowed eyebrows. "Wouldn't you rather just have a normal life with normal relationships?"

Something crossed his eyes as she spoke. "I don't really have that normal of a life, at least not in the way you would think. As for relationships, I guess I've just never been that good at it. I keep trying to do better, with my friends, with my family… with you." He then gave her a soft smile, but Ladybug didn't miss the sadness behind it. "If I hadn't become Chat Noir, I never would have met you, and I could never regret that."

Ladybug chewed on her bottom lip and looked down at his hand splayed on the rooftop. There was a terrible sense of loneliness in the way he spoke and she desperately wanted to reach out her hand and grab his and tell him it would be alright. Before she could though a reminder bell dinged on Chat's cat phone.

"Damn, is it that late already." He said, checking the time. "Sorry m'lady, I have something I need to be at tonight. Are you going to head home?" He asked as he stood up and stretched.

"I might as well. Seems quiet enough for tonight." Chat held out his hand to her and helped her to her feet. Ladybug hadn't noticed her right foot had gone to sleep and she stumbled a little when she went to stand on it, falling into his chest. Chat immediately placed his other hand on her waist to steady her. She looked up straight into his bright chartreuse eyes looking down into hers. Her breath caught in her throat and her mind went blank until she felt Chat move away from her. No, come back, her inner voice screamed.

"Careful m'lady. Wouldn't want you falling." He smiled at her before taking out his baton and leaping away.

"It might be too late, Chaton." She whispered to herself as she watched him disappear over the horizon.

~~~~~

"Tikki, what am I going to do?" Marinette whined as she flopped onto her bed, grabbing a pillow and burying her face in it. "I'm in love with Adrien, it's always been Adrien and nobody else but Adrien. I shouldn't be feeling like this about Chat."

Still Adrien, Tikki thought to herself. Of course she couldn't say that but her conversations with Plagg had made one thing very clear, both kwamis were very much over the mutual pining. Plagg was sure that Adrien was developing a crush on Marinette but was still holding out for Ladybug. If neither holder was going to make a move in their civilian lives, then it was time for a move to be made in their superhero ones.

"You need to tell him." Tikki said firmly. Marinette dropped the pillow from her face and gawked at the little ladybug Kwami.

"I can't tell Chat I have feelings for him." She protested. Tikki shook her head.

"Not that, although you should eventually, I mean about Chat Blanc."

"What?"

"Just listen to me Marinette." Tikki said, touching her hand and speaking to her softly. "You have been carrying the burden of what happened close to your chest for so long. You told Chat you knew keeping him at a distance had been a mistake, but you never told him why. He thinks you didn't trust him."

"Tikki you know that's not it." Marinette protested.

"Yes I know, but he doesn't. He can't guess what's going on in your head. What happened to you then he has been dealing with blindly now. You can't truly move forward with that kind of secret between you."

Marinette wrung her hands together. "But if I tell him now, he'll be hurt."

"He's already been hurting. But if you really want to heal the rift that has been between you, then you have to be honest with him, and with yourself."

Marinette was terrified at the thought, not only telling Chat he had been akumatized, but that it had been her fault. She looked up at the photos she had pinned to her cork board. Her secrets had come between her and Luka and she knew the same thing would happen with Adrien. A superhero dating a civilian was dangerous, and she couldn't reveal herself to them.

The room suddenly felt very quiet. Her parents were away for the weekend at a catering event and without the other kwamis… Marinette had never realised before just how quiet a room could be without their chatter and chaos.

"I can't stay in here." Marinette declared, standing up and opening her trap door. "I can't possibly sleep with my mind racing like this. Let's do another run of the city. Spots on."

For the next hour or so Ladybug swung her way around Paris. People below her would call out and wave, delighted to see one of their heroes. It gave her a little boost until she landed opposite the Bourgeois Hotel and saw Adrien standing with Lila in the gardens having their picture taken and socialising with the big end of town. It was a promotional event for Gabriel's new fragrance and even though she knew Adrien hated doing it, it still made her stomach churn watching.

Gabriel walked over to Lila, patting her on the shoulder and clearly pleased. She was quickly becoming the new face of the brand alongside Adrien. Ladybug turned her head away and ignored the tear that slid down her cheek. What did she think would happen? That she would confess to Adrien and his father would welcome her with open arms? What would he think of a girlfriend that had to disappear all the time? Who skipped out of social events and left them hanging?

"It's hopeless." She whispered. Taking her yo-yo, Ladybug swung back out over the city, landing on her favourite rooftop overlooking the Eiffel Tower. Their rooftop she thought to herself. It was her safe place because Chat made her feel safe. There was a busker on the street below and a small group singing along. It brought a smile to her face remembering a night not that long ago that Chat invited her to dance with him as the busker played. It was the first time she had really laughed out loud since she had lost the Miraculous. She hoped that Chat was having a better night than she was.

She thought about ringing Alya, but then remembered she was having a date night with Nino. Laying back on the roof, she looked up at the night sky and wished she could see more of the stars, maybe somewhere out in the country and with Chat by her side. Would he still feel the same way about her if she told him about Chat Blanc? Ladybug closed her eyes and let the tears roll freely until she fell asleep.

~~~~~

"Everything was purrfect until Hawk Moth found out about us. Then everything changed. You changed."

Chat Blanc ran the tip of a clawed finger across Marinette's cheek. She felt vulnerable without her mask, like she was exposed and naked, even though it was only the two of them. His blue eyes were as cold as ice. Not from hate, but from pain. She didn't fully understand why, but he blamed her for that.

"What do you want from me?" She pleaded. Blanc placed a hand on either side of her head, his face mere inches from hers.

"I want to know why you don't love me anymore." He said, his voice breaking a little as he spoke. "It was supposed to be you and me against the world, but you didn't trust me. You're just like the rest of them." He pushed himself off from the wall and turned his back to her.

"Look at the world Chat!" She screamed at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You did this. You destroyed the world, you destroyed everyone we love."

"Not everyone."

He turned his head back towards her, his icy stare freezing her where she stood. As he made a move towards her, Marinette willed her feet to function and she ran. Behind her she could hear Chat Blanc calling out after her.

"You can't hide from me forever Marinette… Marinette… M'lady…"

"M'lady… are you alright?"

Ladybug's eyes opened with a start. She scrambled back, her bottom sliding across the hard roof top. "Stay back." She cried, her eyes wide in terror. Chat held his palms up to her.

"It's alright Bug, it's just me. You were having a nightmare I think." He said gently. Ladybug was still breathing heavily, but looking around she began to gain her bearings. The full moon was high in the sky, but there was still music playing from the busker on the street below.

"What time is it?" She asked him.

"Well past your bedtime I would think Bugaboo. What are still doing out? I thought you were going home."

Ladybug curled her legs up and hugged them to her chest. "I did, but I couldn't sleep. Why are you out?"

Chat rubbed the back of his neck. "I had a fairly rotten night and needed a distraction. Sometimes a room full of people can make you feel more alone than nobody there at all. I wish I could tell you about it, but it would touch too much on my identity." Ladybug could see that whatever had happened he was hurting about it. She had that urge again to want to reach out for his hand and give him comfort, but she held back. Chat gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry little Bug, I'm fine. What about you?"

Ladybug cast her eyes down at the ground. "It was too quiet for me at home."

Chat crawled a little closer to her, but not enough to startle her. "Quiet? Were your parents not at home?"

"Yes, no.. I mean… yes they did go out tonight, but that's not what I meant." She let out a heart broken sigh. "I miss the kwamis."

"Oh." Chat replied, not really knowing what to say. "I can only imagine. I know how hard it was when Plagg wasn't with me."

Ladybug wiped her eyes with her palm. "But you gave Plagg up not so long ago, remember. You left me all alone."

"Because I thought it was what you wanted, not because it was what I wanted." Chat retorted, feeling a little testy about it.

"What I wanted? Why would I want my partner to leave me?" She said, standing up and folding her arms.

Chat frowned at her. "You literally replaced me with every other hero."

"I wasn't replacing you Chat. I thought you would have appreciated having a break."

Chat stood up too and stepped closer to her. "Being Chat Noir means everything to me, and I don't mean just as a hero. Without you and Plagg…" He turned and walked to the edge of the rooftop, looking at the city lights below. Chat wrung his hands together. "I didn't leave you." He said quietly.

"Yes you did." Ladybug retorted angrily. "I had to trust Plagg with his own Miraculous to get me another Chat Noir, one that he said Master Fu was considering before he chose you."

Chat looked at her over his shoulder. Her lips were pursed in annoyance, but there were tears still brimming in her eyes. "Is that what Plagg said?"

"Does it matter what Plagg said?" She replied angrily, coming over to him. "The point is you left and Catwalker came and he was wonderful and perfect and… and… and I sent him away because he wasn't you!" She lowered her head. "I just wanted my partner back because I couldn't lose you again."

"Again?" Chat questioned her. Ladybug wrapped her arms around herself and turned away from him.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Oh for the love of…" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. There it was, that wedge that was always between them, the secrets that she wouldn't share. He wanted to be angry at her. He was angry at her, but he could also hear something in her voice that made his heart ache.

Chat let go of the grip he had on his arms and let out a long breath. It wouldn't do any good to get worked up and do something stupid again so he calmed his voice.

"You asked me earlier if I ever regretted all this. I have never regretted knowing you, I never regretted loving you even if you never felt the same way, hell I don't even regret dying for you and I would do it again, but I do regret the secrets that have kept tearing us apart."

Ladybug's shoulders dropped. There was the real crux of the issue. Ladybug turned to find Chat's back still to her. "I wish I could be like you Chat." She said softly. Chat turned to look at her, her whole demure more subdued as she played with one of her pigtails. "I wish I could just be honest all the time, that I hadn't kept secrets from you."

Chat pursed his lips. Sure he had always been quick to sprout love declarations, but the truth was he hadn't been honest all the time. She had secrets, but he did too, and if he wanted her to be honest with him then he would have to be the one to show her the way. Alright, time to be honest then.

"I have kept a secret from you Ladybug." He said cautiously. Ladybug looked up at him warily. It was rare for Chat to call her Ladybug, usually it was one of many different nicknames so she knew he was being serious. "To be fair, it wasn't entirely my idea. Plagg came up with it and I agreed."

Now she was looking at him more suspiciously. "You followed an idea of Plagg's?"

"I swear we didn't break anything." Chat said, waving his hands around. "But he knew you needed a black cat holder and he didn't want you finding someone else or having to compromise your identity so he came back to me and convinced me that I could be the kind of Cat you really wanted."

Chat watched her confused stare and could see the moment the penny finally dropped. "You!" She said with an accusatory finger pointed at him. "You were Catwalker weren't you." Chat nodded his head slowly, not sure if she was going to break down or hit him.

Ladybug covered her mouth with her hand as the thought sunk in. Catwalker had been so different to Chat, and yet…

Chat approached her cautiously. "You're not mad at me?"

He was relieved when a small chuckle came from her mouth. "I shouldn't have been surprised. Plagg gave me quite a serve over what had happened. He cares about you a lot you know, I should have known he would go straight back to you. Why Catwalker though?"

Chat shrugged. "You wanted someone more serious. I wanted to be what I thought you wanted."

"You… you tried to change, for me?" She felt a prang of guilt in her chest. "Oh Kitty, I'm sorry you felt that way. I never meant to drive you away like that, or make you think I didn't want you around. I told you, just because I don't need you all the time doesn't mean that I don't need you. I do need you Chat, more than you know. I don't want any part of you to change."

Feeling braver, Ladybug wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. He was taken by surprise at first before closing his own arms around her. "I'm glad that's out in the open now." He said, resting his chin on her head. "What about you m'lady? What's been bothering you?"

Ladybug slowly pulled out of his embrace and stepped away from him, looking back out over towards the Eiffel Tower. She could see the rising waters and the destruction in her mind as she closed her eyes. She took a deep breath.

"You… you were akumatized because of me?"

Chat blinked his eyes at her. "Say what now? What are you talking about, Bug? I've never been akumatized."

"Not that you remember." She said quietly, still avoiding his eyes. "It was in another timeline. Bunnyx came and got me. The world was all but destroyed." She paused to take a breath as the memories flooded back. "You said that our love did this to the world."

"Love?" She heard him say, almost like the word needed to be whispered in reverence. She shook her head trying to straighten her jumbled thoughts.

"I don't know what happened. All I know is that we knew our identities and we must have been together but I did something to hurt you, to make you think I didn't love you anymore."

"Wait." Chat said, coming closer to her. "We were together? As in dating together?"

"I guess so." Ladybug replied, wrapping her arms around herself again. "You, well Chat Blanc, said that things were fine until Hawk Moth found out about us. Maybe he found out identities too. It must have been my fault somehow. It was all my fault. I did something that led to you finding out my identity. I had to fix it."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asked. "You've been carrying this around for how long now? How many decisions did you make based on this?" He didn't want to sound harsh, but a lot of her behaviour in recent months started to make more sense. She really had lost trust in him thinking he would become akumatized into whatever Chat Blanc was and it did hurt him that she hadn't told him the truth about it.

"I never wanted to tell you about this. I didn't want to hurt you again but I still did. I seem to always hurt the ones I love the most."

Ladybug's voice broke as sobs wracked through her and she slunk down onto her knees. Chat was frozen in his place, his mind racing a million miles and hour. Was that an admission or a reference to what had happened in that other timeline? They knew their identities, they were dating and then Hawk Moth found out and it all went wrong… wait… Hawk Moth?

Chat moved towards her and crouched down, gently placing his hand on her shoulder. "M'lady." He said softly. She shook her head in her hands.

"Why can't I ever do anything right?" She continued to cry. "I ruined everything. I can't be honest with you, I can't love you the way you should be loved, I'm the worst Ladybug, the worst Guardian."

"M'lady look at me." He said to her, but her eyes were still firmly closed with her head down. He hooked a clawed finger under her chin and lifted her head. "Please just look at me." He asked again. Slowly she opened her eyes and met his charateuse ones looking at her with all the love in the world. "You said Hawk Moth was the one that found out? Not Shadow Moth? Not Monarch?"

She knitted her eyebrows. "Yes. That was what you had said to me - Hawk Moth found out about us."

Chat then smiled. "But don't you see Bug, he hasn't been Hawk Moth for months now. Whatever happened, whatever you were afraid of happening, that time has passed." He moved his hand from her chin to caress her face, gently wiping a tear from her cheek. "So you don't have to be afraid anymore. Trust what's inside you m'lady."

Ladybug reached up and took his hand from her face. "I don't know what to trust anymore." She said, standing up abruptly. "I don't know if I can even trust myself or what's in my own heart. I thought I knew, I thought I was in control of everything, that if I had just managed it right…"

"Ladybug." Chat said, standing up and placing his hands on her shoulders. "If you're talking about what happened with Félix then stop right there. We were all affected by Risk that day. Besides if it had been Adrien Agreste with the dog Miraculous as you believed it to be, then the whole plan I'm sure would have worked just fine."

"I suppose." Ladybug conceded. Despite everything else, Ladybug was sure that Adrien would have been trustworthy, but… "The truth is, I should have given the Miraculous to you. I should never have sought out someone else to trust when you were right here. I trusted my head, my logic and it failed me."

"Then trust your heart." Chat urged, but Ladybug shook her head.

"How can I?" She asked. "I thought I loved someone else, and now I realise I hardly knew him. I found out that in another universe I was in love with you, and knowing I hurt you makes my heart clench in my chest. My heart doesn't know what it wants so how can I trust it? How can I know that what we had was real? How can I trust that what I feel in my heart looking at you right now is real? Because I want it to be real, Chat. I want us to be real."

Chat thought his own heart might thump out of his chest at her words. She did love him and right now that was all that mattered to him. Taking her hand in his he kissed the back of it and then placed it over his heart.

"Then trust in mine." He whispered, looking at her like she was his whole world. "You can always trust in the love I have for you."

Ladybug could feel tears pricking at her eyes once more. "But how can you still love me Chat? After everything I did to you I would blame you if you hated me."

"We both made mistakes little Bug, it doesn't mean that I love you any less. I won't ask more of you than you can give me. I won't try to find out your identity or do anything that could compromise your safety. Just knowing that you love me, that one day I can love you outside of the masks as much as behind it is all I need. I would wait a thousand lifetimes for you if I knew that you loved me too."

"Chat, I'm still afraid. I don't think I'm brave enough. What if…" She began to rebut, but he placed a finger over her lips.

"Trust in me." He said to her earnestly. "And trust in us, you and me." He took both her hands in his and held them to him. "You know my mother read a quote to me once and I never forgot it, it said *have the courage to trust in love one more time and always one more time.* I believe in our love, m'lady, and I will fight to my last breath for it, for you, if you would only believe in it too."

What if, what if, what if - a hundred different what ifs started crowding in her mind as he spoke, but they were all blown away by the look in his eyes. Could trust be that simple as to just believe. Maybe she could find the courage to trust love one more time.

"I do love you Kitty." She surrendered, giving in to the feeling that had been growing inside her. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

"You will never be alone, Bug." He promised to her with all the conviction he could convey. Letting go of her he cupped her face in his hands, his own coming closer to hers. Chat was sure he saw a blush bloom across her cheeks under her mask. "Because I will always be here by your side, no matter what happens, until the very end." He rested his head against her forehead, his hot breath dancing her face. Ladybug could feel her heart racing in her chest as his lips crept closer to hers. "May I kiss you?"

Her answer was to rest her hands against his chest and surge up on her toes until her lips connected with his. Marinette had always pictured kissing Adrien would have been soft and delicate, but the way Ladybug kissed Chat Noir was passionate and all consuming. Sure she had kissed him before, that time in Oblivio she didn't remember, but Dark Cupid? Oh yes she remembered, but this was a thousand times better because he was kissing her back with one hand behind her head and the other pressing her closer to him. As they slid down onto their knees there was a fire let loose with her, and when he tilted her head just a little Ladybug thought she would lose herself completely as his tongue danced with hers in sweet surrender.

When they eventually had to break for air, Chat held her close to his chest, still cradling her head in his hand as the town clock chimed 1am in the distance.

"You should get some sleep." Chat eventually murmured tenderly against her ear. Reluctantly he loosened his hold on her, but only enough to kiss her on the forehead. "I'll be here waiting for you for patrol at the usual time, okay?"

"Just a little longer Chaton." She said, resting her head back on his chest as his heart strummed a steady beat. "I love you Kitty."

"I love you too m'lady." He said back. "So much."

And so he held her in his arms until the music below stopped playing and the crowds of revellers for a Friday night began to disperse. Ladybug closed her eyes and let out a contented sigh. No matter what happens now she promised herself she would find that courage to trust in love one more time, and always one more time with her Kitty, her partner, by her side.