Chapter 14
Barnes didn't know how long he had been stood there in the cold, damp cell before another man entered, commanding Barnes to stand against the wall. Following orders without any resilience, Barnes remained still as other men filed in and bound his arms, legs and neck with the chains hanging from the wall before removing his wrist and ankle restraints. Standing back, they filed out of the cell again leaving Barnes to his misery as a man stood outside the locked cell, eyeing Barnes through the bars. A grin crossed the captors face as suddenly, a loud cry echoed throughout the bunker filled with pain and misery followed by quick shouts of pleading, Steve literally begging his attackers as they did whatever unimaginable things that they could to him. Barnes gritted his teeth as he fought desperately against his restraints before shouting at the man watching him through the bars, "STOP! YOU HAVE ME, DON'T HURT HIM". Grinning back in response, the soldier cocked an eyebrow as more pained noises filled the cell from somewhere nearby and Barnes struggled harder than ever before to break free. "Should have completed your mission, dog" the soldier replied suddenly, a look of malice on his face. Barnes did the only thing he could think of and begged, literally begged for his friends' life as another round of pained noise filled the air around him to no avail. After an hour, Steve's voice faded to silence in the distance and Barnes couldn't find the strength to lift his head, tears streaming silently down his face as he worried for Steve's wellbeing.
Shortly after, the soldier at the door unlocked it and stood back so Barnes could witness Steve's lifeless body being thrown into the cell opposite. Eyes zoning in, Barnes was temporarily relieved as he noted Steve's chest rising and falling, albeit faster than he would have liked, before watching Steve being bound against his cell wall as Barnes had been, the door slamming shut with finality.
"Should have been a good slave, shouldn't you" the man who had been stood near Barnes' door spat angrily at him, "your handler will be along soon, try not to anger him" he stated before leaving Barnes alone in the darkness with nothing but Steve's ragged breathing for company.
Despair raged through Barnes' body as he heard those words, knowing nothing good was coming for himself and Steve. His body suspended against the wall behind him, Barnes lowered his head once more in silent resignation, dark thoughts rushing through his mind as he could do nothing but wait. The hours dragged on painfully slow, and Barnes suddenly realised that he had no time frame and nothing to do but wait for his handler as the fear gripped his insides and his breathing came out in sharp pants. Torturous thoughts span in his mind as he thought of his situation and whatever hell Steve had experienced, Steve who had helped him and taken him in even after Barnes had tried to harm him. Flashes of his own memories spun from his time with HYDRA in the past and with it came a panic attack as his arms ached and his knees bent, forcing the restraint around his throat to bite against his flesh painfully.
Steve didn't wake for the rest of the night and Barnes' own torment rendered him useless, his thoughts playing sick games with the images that raced through his mind. This wasn't supposed to happen, he found himself thinking miserably. It was supposed to be me, only me. Not Steve, never Steve – I was supposed to protect Steve.
A day later and Barnes' handler still hadn't appeared and as he hung limply from his restraints, he became aware of Steve stirring in the cell beyond. Barnes quickly rasped out Steve's name, hearing the other man's struggling still briefly before his pained voice grunted back in response. Barnes couldn't help the relief that flooded through his system, but it was quickly replaced by dread as he heard footsteps echoing through the halls as the soldier from the day before returned. Barnes watched helplessly as both his and Steve's doors were flung open by HYDRA's men and they both got to see each other properly for the first time in over 24 hours. Watching Steve struggle against his bonds, Barnes' eyebrows met together in a frown as he noted how ashen faced Steve appeared, and the numerous cuts and bruises his body was sporting before Barnes realised the men were entering his own cell. Steve, on high alert, paused his struggling as he watched in horror as the HYDRA men entered Barnes' cell and surrounded him. With a startled yelp, he watched as they stripped Barnes down to his boxers, his clothing forcefully removed before they stepped out of the cell leaving 2 men behind; then Barnes' nightmare began.
Barnes eyed the two men silently who had remained in his cell as they advanced near him, making sure to leave a clear view of himself for Steve to watch whatever twisted game they had planned for him. One of the men barked out at Barnes suddenly, "Mutt, what is your purpose?" Barnes eyed the floor uneasily as he responded, "to serve HYDRA". The first man stated, "good" before Barnes' head suddenly jerked to the left in pain as the first man's fist delivered a swift blow to his temple, Steve calling out in anguish as he realised what was happening. Barnes moved his head to face forward as he stared at the floor, unable to meet Steve's eyes as the second man spat a sentence at him, "what are you?"
"I am a weapon; I belong to HYDRA" Barnes stated listlessly, the resignation evident in his voice. A sudden jab to his chest made his breath leave his body as he slumped forward in his chains. Panting heavily, Barnes became aware of Steve struggling harder than ever and he forced his eyes to look up at Steve, eyes full of pleading as he shook his head subtly in Steve's direction before eyeing the floor again. Steve realised in horror what his friend was trying to tell him and why – stop fighting, or they'll punish you too.
Steve forced his body to remain still against his instincts, biting his lip as he watched Barnes' attackers remove the chains from around his neck and feet before standing back again. "Soldier, stand to attention!" the first man commanded suddenly as Barnes struggled to raise his arms behind to his head in surrender. The second man approached Barnes with a taser and quickly stuck it against his flesh arm, laughing as Barnes' muscles spasmed and he nearly lost his balance, his arms snapping up as his body tried to drop. Forcing himself to stay on his feet on shaky legs, Barnes listened as the man questioned him. "Mutt, why are you here?"
"I have disobeyed my master, I deserve to be punished, I am HYDRA's asset" Barnes responded immediately as he steeled himself for another strike. Steve watched in horror as the second man brought a baton down against Barnes' shin and his friend dropped to the floor suddenly. Unable to stop himself as Barnes remained kneeling, Steve called out to the men in desperation, "Hit me, use me instead". Eyeing Steve, the two men started laughing at his begging before turning back to Barnes and brutally attacking him. Barnes kept his head lowered as each painful blow landed on his neck, shoulders and body before one of the men stopped to withdraw a knife from his pocket. The second man stepped back, watching as the man with the knife stood to the side of Barnes before leaning in to carve something into his chest. Barnes yelled out as the shooting pain flooded his senses and he couldn't think straight, wishing for it to end as Steve begged in the background. When the man with the knife stood back to admire his handiwork, Steve noticed that Barnes' bare chest was dripping blood. Barnes' eyes streamed with tears as he looked down at himself to see what had been done to him during his attack, there standing out boldly on his pale flesh was a crude attempt at the written words: Winter Soldier, his chest bleeding from the knife's cruel cuts. With an anguished cry, Barnes begged the men to kill him; his desperation becoming evident as his feelings intensified in response to their brutal craftmanship. The men's cruel faces eyed him without pity before becoming aware of Steve who was screaming obscenities at them over their handiwork. As they were about to take a step forward towards Steve, Barnes begged the men to stay, to punish him for Steve's outburst instead, for Barnes' own trespasses and his own misguided deeds. He promised to be good, to follow orders like a good weapon, he would comply, he would do whatever they wanted, he would let them do whatever they wanted to him; but he begged them to take it all out on him. Looking at each other and nodding subtly, the two men shrugged before ordering Steve be gagged, then they turned to face Barnes once more before continuing their onslaught. By the end of it, Barnes was slumped forward, no fight left in him, his arms bent at a weird angle as they were held in place by his chains. Blood dripped steadily down his chest and his mouth as Steve could do nothing but watch, tears falling freely. Looking at Steve, one of the men crudely wiped the bloodied knife across his knee to clean it before commenting, "you make a sound, and we'll be back for him" as he jerked the blade back in Barnes' direction before ordering Barnes' neck be placed back in chains. Nodding, tears still streaming down his face, Steve watched as the men walked away leaving both his and Barnes' cell doors open so that he could get a clear view of his friend, his Bucky as the latter gave into unconsciousness due to exhaustion and pain. Unable to look away, Steve found himself begging God for a miracle as he waited with bated breath for whatever came next. A few hours later, Steve heard footsteps approaching their cells and his breathing hitched when a man entered his cell with some water in a dog bowl. Holding it towards Steve's face, Steve paused, refusing to drink before the man struck him across the face with a baton. Steve began to lap the water with his tongue before the man threw the water all over his body. Gasping in shock, Steve shook his head to rid the water from his eyes as he saw two men enter Barnes' cell and throw water over his unconscious friend's body. Barnes jerked awake suddenly, pain and confusion clouding his mind as he registered the ice-cold water running down his face and chest, making his freshly carved skin sting. Gasping, Barnes tried to draw a large breath before his body racked with a violent coughing fit as all three HYDRA grunts walked away again, leaving Steve and Barnes to their personal hells. Barnes breathed unsteadily as pain became the constant, looking down at his chest he let out a startled yelp as his head dropped forward again and his body shook with tears he couldn't control. Steve called out to him, earning a shake of the head in response from Barnes as he continued to lose control of his sobs, Steve's eyes flooding with unshed tears as he watched his friend's desperation.
More hours had passed, and Barnes was in no better shape than before, Steve had given up trying to reach him and instead had stood vigil in a silent show of camaraderie as his friend had continued to break in a way that he hadn't before.
Barnes hung from his chains in silence, the desperation eating him alive as he once again looked down at his chest. The bleeding had stopped, leaving dirty streaks down his bare chest and he could see the carved words clearly etched upon his flesh, mocking him. My fault, all my fault, his thoughts whispered to him. Barnes' head inclined slightly as he became aware of new footsteps approaching, footsteps he recognised. His breathing stilled as he began praying, not Steve. Please not Steve; his prayers answered as his handler stopped in Barnes' doorway, eyeing him with barely contained anger.
"SOLDIER, FACE ME!" a booming voice commanded. Looking up to meet his handler's gaze, Barnes struggled to stop the shiver that ran down his spine as he found himself looking into those cold grey eyes once more. The handler moved towards Barnes who barely managed to contain the repulsion that coursed through him as the handler ran a finger down Barnes' face before forcing his chin up. Without warning, the handler struck Barnes in a slap, as if he was no better than a back-alley whore leaving a sting behind that was somehow worse than a punch as Steve looked on in anger. Grabbing Barnes' hair, the handler leaned in before whispering in his ear, "come – it's time". The handler dropped Barnes' head as though he had touched something disgusting before ordering Barnes to stay still. With a threatening look towards Steve in a clear warning to Barnes, the handler commanded his guards to bring Barnes with them and the guards unlocked his restraints and led him towards the lab and away from Steve, Steve's voice calling after them in anguish before the sounds were cut off suddenly. Barnes trailed behind his handler with his head bowed in submission, surrounded by HYDRA guards. He knew he was powerless, if he fought, they'd harm Steve, if he complied, they harmed him, if Steve fought, they harmed whichever man that caught their eye as if he and Steve were locked in a sick game of Russian roulette.
Entering the lab, Barnes couldn't help the memories which resurfaced in his mind violently as he found himself being strapped down to the cold, unforgiving table. His handlers face appeared in front of him as a scientist roughly thrust an IV into Barnes' arm, "I think you forgot your place, lab rat" the handler with the cold eyes stated evenly as Barnes' chest began to rise and fall harshly, panic taking hold. Without warning, Barnes felt a prick in his right arm as a scientist injected him with fluid and his veins screamed in agony, responding to the fiery liquid which made its way through his system. Barnes watched as his handler came closer to Barnes' face and added, "still, it was worth losing you for a while, 2 for the price of one", his handler smirked at his own words as Barnes' eyes widened at their meaning. Licking his lips, Barnes pleaded with the handler, "don't, please don't, I'll do whatever you want, let him go" desperation coursing through him as he thought of the hell that awaited Steve whenever the scientists deemed it time.
"You were a good asset, but you need a lesson" the handler answered sharply, before forcing a mouth guard between his teeth and strapping a metal vice around Barnes' neck as electricity flowed through his body. Barnes' screams of agony reigned through the bunker and he quickly lost control of his body as it jerked and spasmed. Once they were done with him, Barnes' exhausted body was forced from the lab and tossed back into the cell where he was once again restrained, the angry red welts on his neck evident to Steve in his cell opposite. Before turning to leave, the handler traced Barnes' chest with a finger and as it made contact with the words carved into his skin, Barnes hissed in pain. Satisfied, the handler cast an eye towards Steve's open door, and muttered something in Russian to his guards. Barnes barely managed to make eye contact with Steve as a man entered Steve's cell and offered a blow swiftly to his ribs, as Steve dropped to his knees, the guards bound him and dragged him away as Barnes screamed after them to bring Steve back.
Half an hour passed, and Barnes could do nothing but look at Steve's empty cell, his body slumping in hopelessness as it ached and burned with the aftershocks. Dread was his only companion as he wondered fitfully what they were doing to his friend and his thoughts took dark twisted turns as the screaming began. Staring down at his chest, Barnes' mind turned on himself as the biting thoughts took their hold. I am the Winter Soldier, I will always be the Winter Soldier. I deserve this. Where's Steve… Steve… Barnes' eyes screwed shut as the tears began to flow, terrified of where Steve was and why. An hour later and Steve was dragged back to his cell and chained, something had changed within the man and Barnes felt sick as he wondered what Steve had been through. As they chained Steve to the wall and left again, Barnes could see that Steve bore the same welts around his neck as he did, big angry red welts that stood out harshly against Steve's pale skin. Steve eyed the ground, a disturbed look upon his face and he found he was unable to look at Barnes, the sickening images that had been forced into his mind flooded through his head before he suddenly gagged and lost his stomach contents.
"It's okay" Barnes rasped out, his throat sore as Steve struggled to regain his breath, "whatever they did Stevie, I'm here, I got you".
Trembling, Steve shook his head as another wave of nausea threatened to engulf him, his thoughts struggling to process what he had seen in that room. Gasping for air, Steve tried to respond to Barnes but found the nausea too strong. Throwing up again, his stomach aching, he managed a few deep breaths before speaking, "they showed me things, horrible things. They put drops in my eyes and forced them to remain open, I couldn't shut them, I… I…." Steve's voice ended in a whisper as tears threatened to fall, the horrors he had seen fresh in his mind.
Barnes felt a surge of sympathy, he knew exactly the sort of things that Steve was referring to, sometimes they haunted him too. Barnes managed to offer a brief "I know, I'm sorry" in response before trailing off, Steve becoming despondent as he shut down. Steve shook his head once before it drooped forward, the hopelessness engulfing him.
