After a very long break from writing I figured I'd take a stab at first person point of view, that being said, not every chapter will be in this diary format as I plan on switching it up every no and again. Depending on how popular this is, this whole idea could become a series with each story being a different focus. Anyways, enough talk- enjoy the firsts chapter! - London
Dear Diary,
I don't know much to say really. It's been a very strange year. From wars, to celebrations, scares, loss... I'm at a loss for words, loss for feelings too. Wait, no, not really. I have feelings, just don't know how to communicate them. To solve this issue Doctor Sana said I should keep a diary and log every night before I sleep, he's been very helpful in the first two visits, but I blame my lack of expression on the kriffing education on Jakku.
Do I really blame Jakku? Yes, maybe, definitely a lot. It was hard teaching myself all those languages, but with all the countless hours with little to do, it became almost a hobby. I almost miss the cool desert nights in a way, at least compared to this stuffy city Coruscant. I don't really want to be here, future Rey if you are reading this, I hope you left. Unfortunately, despite my wishes, it is important I stay while the new fledgling republic comes into its own. It's almost frightening how fast these democracies grow.
Poe told me to stay, he's now Commander in Chief and acting Chancellor, it was important to respect his wishes. There will be a vote in the coming months on new senators, and then, a new Chancellor. Poe said he doesn't want the job, but he's one of the few we trust to command the New Republic in its infancy. Finn was suggested in Poe's stead, but none of the remaining Senators wanted a storm trooper as acting Chancellor. So judgmental.
As for me, well, being the only Jedi has its perks. I'm already a Lieutenant General! Poe said I will be promoted soon, but had to wait due to formalities. Personally, I don't like being in command of so many soldiers. I feel a certain level of anxiety and I can't explain why. I think Doctor Sana would like to hear about that, maybe next visit, there's so much more I need to tell him.
Everything is still very fresh; so, so many meetings in those stiff uniforms the Army has to wear. Funny right? We already have an Army and a Navy... for a peaceful democracy... Ironic. I understand, the last 'New' Republic failed to be able to enforce their democracy and from their lack of military rose the First Order. I'm getting off track aren't I?
These writings are about me, that's what Sana said. I'm glad I finally have someone to talk to, even if it almost feels shameful... poster-girl Jedi, hero of the Resistance! Who is now in therapy, might I add. I know it is good for me. I'm having issues, I need help... that hurts to say, it hurts, I'm hurt, I'm rambling. Why am I such a mess?
Everything feels so overwhelming in a place such as Coruscant, I often feel like I am spinning, everything feels so fast. Not even three years ago I had never seen a lake! And now, I am the only Jedi in a city-planet of whoever knows how many people. I feel so alone here, not to mention behind. I'm so new to this whole life thing that even after a few months of being here everything feels so odd. Perhaps that why I can never control my emotion... a topic for another time.
I said I feel alone, but I know I am not, which makes it feel worse. Poe is there for me, he just has so much to deal with I don't want to bother him with my meaningless concerns. Finn is amazing and force sensitive (he still hasn't officially told me, but I have sensed it for ages now), but even he can't understand me. I've tried talking to him, but he seems distracted with his own issues and like with Poe, I can't stand myself to add more onto them. As for the droids, they are my favorite company. I secretly think Poe is mad at me for spending so much time with BB-8, but what can I say, I love the little guy. Sadly, they can't understand me either, nobody can... at least not anyone alive. I haven't heard from the Jedi beyond since Exegol, likewise with Luke and Leia who I haven't seen since Tatooine... I do very much wish to see them again.
It's silly almost. I was alone for all nineteen years of my life, then two years of whatever normal you could call the Resistance, and suddenly I can't stand being alone. I think I have issues, I really do, how am I almost crying over my own diary? I need air.
I'm back, even the air on this planet feels different from the air on others, but at least I have access to a balcony. I thank the New Republic for providing me such an excellent apartment to live in for the time being. Maybe one day when I'm bored, to keep my mind off of other thoughts, I'll describe my place in detail! Or draw a rough sketch! I could even simply transcribe my day, keep track of my feelings, make sense of all it! I feel much better now, maybe this diary is a good idea.
Oh, before I go, in case this diary continues on for a while- its 36 ABY, you're welcome future me.
So basically most chapters will look like this, except for some that will be from the third person perspective and follow Rey throughout whatever she is doing! As for writing, it was surprisingly hard- had to come up with a lot of ideas and plotlines to carry this story! Feel free to leave suggestions on what Rey's days will look like and what I should do to improve the upcoming chapters for you, the reader. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and by the way, please leave a follow or comment- those give me so much extra motivation! Thanks again, London
