The next few days were pretty quiet but to Skulls surprise more and more clothing found a place in his closet. While they couldn't order anything or go shopping yet which would explain that, he was able to make out various items that belonged to quite a few of the other Arcobalenos. To his shock he could even make out some dressing shirts that were clearly Reborns.

Skull had been uncomfortable, but the high heat and the pointed looks did make him use them. Weirdly he could even find a self satisfied smile on some of them when he showed up with their clothes on.

He was reeling in the knowledge that they left him alone with their information gathering about him and he was even sure that everything would just rest until they could get out of the house. But his wishful thinking collapsed one evening.

Most of them had a few alcoholic beverages and suddenly Lal started talking about her past and how she had become the army soldier she had been. How she had loved her father - a military man- even though he had wished her to be a boy. She had gone into active service to make him proud and prove to him that she was still able to do anything as a woman.

Furthermore Lal even shared some of her mission memories and how she activated her flames and ended up in the Mafia.

Colonnello chimed in as well adding anecdotes, when the rain started to talk about the years he grew up in the countryside Skull got more and more uncomfortable.

He had always seen himself as an outsider to the group. He didn't feel as close to them and knew that he annoyed the others way more than necessary.

He tried to get up, not feeling right about listening to their stories when he didn't belong.

Fon had already grabbed his hand though "where are you going?" He asked calmly.

"I just… I don't think it's my place to listen to this."

"And why not lackey? Too scary?" Reborn asked blankly.

"I mean .. I'm not…" skull stuttered', still feeling uncomfortable and out of his depth but he took a deep breath "it's not like you guys even like me or that i belong here."

Yuni started to protest but Reborn cut her off "Sit down lackey. You're talking nonsense again."

"But…"

Fon still not letting go and pulling him down "you are as much part of the Arcobaleno as the rest is."

Skull just sat down meekly. He didn't really understand. He was the outsider, always had been. He had been the civilian and the hindrance. While it was true that he had grown fond of his fellow arcobalenos in varying degrees he had never really considered himself as truly a part of the group, more as a bystander and only included in the formal way.

He was weak in their eyes, far weaker than an arcobaleno should be and again he was the annoyance. They exclaimed that often enough, so why was he expected to listen to their stories? It wasn't his place to know them so deeply especially when all he did was putting on a facade.

He didn't fake everything, it wasn't possible over the years but Violet had never been outgoing, attention seeking or that much of a whiny brat.

Violet had been brave, reckless, an introvert and righteous. She had been a martyr not a coward like Skull was. Violet had been a woman, Skull wasn't.

Skull was nothing more than a mask, sure they both loved treacle tart and singing and dancing badly while cooking. But Skull was still fake even if Violet shined through and he knew as soon as he would shed Skulls appearance Violet Potter would be there, emotionally vulnerable and the confidence would wash away.

While he had never been able to seperate them fully they were still so different and he knew he was living a lie.

It wasn't fair to them when they opened up to him, he wasn't worthy of it, not when he had been lying like this.

It might have been fair the first years to pretend to be Skull and it was true that he couldn't really tell them much and that he had thought he would have needed to stay Skull for the rest of his life but still it wasn't fair when they started to open up.

The cloud stayed silent for the rest of the conversation, not lifting his head and more focused on his alcohol to drone out the thoughts that screamed at him that he was a horrible person. Lal and Colonello talked for hours, their background wasn't that dark or heavy but it laid on his conscience more than anything.

He was the last one to leave the table, not really being able to move or look them in the eye, his limbs were heavy and guilt was weighing him down.

The next day wasn't better, he stood up and made breakfast, not even turning on the music, just mechanically walking through the motions. He still wasn't able to look most of them in the eye, it was almost impossible for him to even look at Lal and Colonello.

The situation got worse when Verde started to talk about how he became the scientist he was today, what motivated him and how he stumbled in the mafia.

Over the next few days all of the Arcobalenos started to share various personal informations.

Skull really wanted to get away, he wanted to crawl into his bed at grimmauld place and never be seen again.

Everything became unbearable when one evening Reborn stated that his real name was Renato Sinclair.

Skull felt the bile rising up and after forcing himself to gulp down the now tasteless dinner he hurried outside.

Sitting down in the dirt and trying to force himself to stay in place. He wanted to run, get away from here, from reality and his lies. He carefully cradled his legs and pulled them close, trying to physically keep them in place, tears rising up, for once not because of any exhilaration.

He felt trapped. How would he even come clean? There was no way he could just casually drop who he really was and how he had lied to them for over 40 years.

Completely trapped in his guilt riddled mind, he only noticed Fon when he spoke up "Yuni said you were thinking about running away."

Skull heavily flinched "I know I can't."

"Doesn't change the fact that you want to." the storm stated, still smiling as always, but his sharp gaze focused on the cloud.

"It doesn't matter" Skull just murmeld in his legs, fully leaning his head on them, so that he wouldn't have to look at Fon.

The Chinese just stayed silent for a while, letting his gaze drift "Do you want to talk about it?"

Skull laughed helplessly "All the talking is the problem. Why do you all even have to talk so much? Why didn't we stay as before? You all despising and not including me. Why did this have to change suddenly?"

Fon furrowed his brows "Skull, we never hated you."

"That's a lie. I'm annoying and I ruined more missions than I can even remember."

"That still doesn't mean that any of us hated you. You are one of us."

Skull couldn't stop the tears from falling and buried his face even more.

"Why did you all suddenly have the urge to talk? We never talked. We never shared anything like that. Why now?"

"You took the first step."

"I never said anything!" almost enraged Skull burst out.

"You didn't have to. Just seeing your scars and being able to understand your childhood was more than enough." Fon calmly stated, not letting his eyes wander from the clearly distressed punk.

"But you know nothing!"

"We aren't stupid Skull, we were able to come to conclusions. Even if it was accidentally you let us in and we are repaying the favour."

"But nothing of that mattered! The scars don't matter!" Skull burst out, finally looking up, tears still running down and his face, so defeated and desperate that Fon almost made a step back.

"Who told you that Skull? You do matter, especially to us."

"No you don't understand! Nothing of this matters. Not even a bit in contrast to how you all open up! This is nothing!"

"Childhood abuse is not nothing Skull. We should consider sitting down in a more calm moment and truly talk about this."

"No no no! You don't understand! I have been lying Fon! My childhood doesn't matter because you don't know who I am! You have no clue at all and all of you keep on pushing all this information out and I havent told any of you anything!"

Fon just calmly kept watch "Skull we know you for over 40 years, we know you better than you think and you're an open book."

"No you dont! You have no clue! Everything is fake! You don't know anything!"

"Skull.."

"No! I'm a completely different person! You seriously have no clue! How could you tell me any of this when I never said anything?" Skull was openly crying, angrily rubbing over his eyes, not caring about his smutched make up.

"I don't know what kind of secret you are keeping but it doesn't change anything. We care about you Skull and if it's bothering you, you can just tell us."

"How could I? How could I just casually drop something like this?" he bit down on his hand trying to muffle the scream that was worming its way up his throat, tearing flesh that instantly repaired itself.

He was too frustrated. How could he just tell them? After 40 years?

His sobs were loudly halling through the otherwise silent night "Why are you doing this? Why are you holding me liable? I never wanted any of this! I never even wanted to be here! How could you do this to me after everything?"

Fon sat down next to him "Please don't harm yourself. You don't have to do anything Skull we are not trying to force you to anything. Everything is alright '' he softly stated, putting a hand on the clouds shoulder, while trying to calm him down.

Skull just slapped it away and forcefully hit his hand on the floor, again ripping his skin to tears, the blood not even dried yet when new liquid was making its way down from the already closed wound.

"I can do whatever I want with my body! You can't control me! You can't make me! Why are you making me?" he had trouble breathing, so fast and uncontrollably were his sobs. He might even be hyperventilating. He didn't know. All he could feel was the guilt blaring down on him. Crushing him further and further, never letting him escape.

Skull had only ever wanted to be free. Why did it have to turn out like this? He wasn't ready! He might never be. How could he?

He felt like he was suffocating, the guilt building a tight knot around his throat and before he could give in to the urge to just run away, he hurriedly jumped on his feet, stumbling a bit and pushing himself to walk inside the house again. Fons gaze following him, Reborns piercing one boring into him when he fled to his room.