Chapter 18
As she sat on the bed in the spare room across from Rachel, Louise knew that she was making the right decision. She and Rachel had exchanged some general small talk, but she already felt at ease in the other woman's presence, so at ease, in fact, that her mind wandered to thoughts of Kid and the feel of his arms around her. Soon she was lost in her daydream.
Rachel saw her new friend unconsciously gaze in the direction of the bunkhouse and knew exactly who had captivated her attention so thoroughly. "He's a good man," she said, waiting for Louise to wake up from her daydream.
Louise snapped out of the daze and replied shyly, "Yes, he is."
"You're fallin' hard for him." It was a statement, not a question.
"Yes, I am."
"And from the looks of things, I'd say he's fallin' for you too."
"I hope so." She paused as she remembered one of her earlier doubts. "Rachel, is it crazy to think that I might have a future with him? A day ago I was workin' in a saloon, and now here I am ready to start dressin' like a man, so I can ride for the Pony Express. I don't want to get my hopes up for nothing."
Rachel sought to reassure her, knowing that as tough as she might be, her opinion of herself was hesitant and fragile. "It sounds to me like you're afraid that maybe you don't deserve to be happy. But I'd say you deserve it even more than most women 'cause life hasn't given you too many breaks. You have a chance at happiness now; don't let it slip away. Life don't have no guarantees, but I do know that love is always worth takin' a risk for." She slid close to Louise as she remembered her own husband. Losing him was hard, but she had never regretted the time they had shared together. I only hope that Louise will take a chance on love. She and Kid deserve some happiness.
"Always?" Louise whispered uncertainly.
"Always," Rachel answered firmly, "And knowing Kid, I'd say it's less of a risk than with most men. Speaking of Kid, what does he have to say about all this? Did y'all talk about where you two stand?"
"He says he wants us to try to have a relationship, even though it won't be easy. Oh, Rachel, he's been so wonderful, so kind and gentle. I never knew there were men like that, who actually care about you and not just about what they can take from you."
"Unfortunately, there ain't enough men like that. That means you better hang on to him and not let him go. If I were ten years younger, you just might have some competition on your hands for that one!" she said teasingly. They shared a laugh at the thought of the two of them literally fighting over him.
"Well, Miss Louise, as much as I'd like to spend the rest of the evening gabbing with you, I think we'd better start your transformation into Lou. Hold tight while I get my scissors." Seeing her solemn look, she added, "You know, honey, Kid was right about me needing help around her and being glad to teach you everything you need to know. It's not a glamorous job like carrying the mail, but I like it just fine, and it's certainly less dangerous. I'm not trying to talk you out of being a rider, just wanting you to know that you're always welcome to work with me."
"I do know that. This is just something I need to do, for myself. You understand, don't ya? I was just a little nervous of having my hair cut. Not that I don't trust you or anything. I just wish I could be a Pony Express rider with long hair who also happened to be a girl."
"I wish you could too, but you know how these men are. They think us fragile women can't handle 'a man's job,' like we'd just break like some china doll!" she exclaimed, rolling her eyes.
"They're just afraid we'll do a better job that them. Speaking of doing a better job, I beat Kid in a horse race last night," said Louise triumphantly.
"Oh, that sounds like a good story. Why don't you tell it to me while I cut your hair?" Rachel suggested.
Soon the two women were giggling, and before she knew it, Louise heard Rachel say that she was finished. Turning around to face the mirror, she was shocked at site of herself. I knew it would be short, but did it have to be this short? I might as well be bald.
Disappointed, but wishing not to hurt her friend's feelings, she managed to say, "It looks good, Rachel. Thank you." Despite her best efforts to block her emotions, a few silent tears leaked from her eyes, which she furtively wiped away with her sleeve.
Rachel instantly rushed to her side, gently squeezing her shoulders in a small hug. "It's okay, honey. You don't have to worry about hurting my feelings. I know this isn't the most attractive style, but hopefully it will do the job. Now let's see what we can do about some clothes for you. My husband's old clothes will be like a tent on you, but I think I should be able to take in the waist enough so you don't loose your pants. We don't want that, do we?" She hoped a little humor would bring a smile back to her face. She was rewarded with a tiny grin.
"No, we definitely don't want that. Alright, stake the tents on me. I'm ready."
So this is it, she thought as stared into the mirror. Rachel had already gone to bed, leaving her alone with the unfamiliar image in the mirror. The transformation was complete, and Lou was ready to make his debut. If Kid doesn't run when he sees me lookin' like this, then I'll really know he cares. Remembering his promise that his feelings wouldn't change, she did her best to swallow her doubts. You have to be strong, or this will never work. Just remember the hell of the saloon, and anything else will seem like heaven. Besides, you've got Kid now. The thought soothed her, and she crawled into bed and was soon sound asleep.
