She caught the bus at the stop at the entrance of the culs-de-sac she lived in and rode it to the edge of town. To Eddie's neighborhood. and walked the rest of the way to his trailer. His van was parked in the driveway and without thinking about it, because if she thought about it she'd change her mind, she stomped up the steps. Tore open the screen and pounded on the plastic door.

The loud whine of an electric guitar could be heard vibrating through the thin walls. She listened for a minute as the random sounds became music, and then became a song she didn't recognize. Eddie wrote his own music, his own lyrics but she'd never been privy to those songs. Now she wished she had. Maybe then she'd know what tune he was belting out. She felt the emotion of Eddie's voice pulsing through her.

She was momentarily distracted by the rumble of a motor. Looking over her shoulder a dull yellow school bus rounded the corner, its breaks screeching as it came to a halt next door. A group of kids descended the steps once the door creaked open. A familiar face was among them. The girl Chrissy noticed the last time she was here, Max, walked slowly up her driveway, watching Chrissy as she went.

She couldn't just leave now, and she didn't care if she had an audience. Turning back to the door, she began pounding on it again. After the third round of knocks, Eddie yanked the door open. He stepped back, shocked to see her there. He wore a bandana around his head, his hair damp and his face speckled with sweat. He'd been playing for a while apparently.

"Where have you been?" She demanded, pushing past him and into the house. Smoke floated near the ceiling and the room smelled skunky sweet, a joint rested in the ashtray on the coffee table. His eyes were veined with red lines. His guitar leaned against the cushions of the couch. "You think you can just skip out on me?"

He didn't answer, only stood there dumbfounded. "You think you can just sit around and get high instead?"

"Well, that's what I was trying to do," he said. "Before I was interrupted."

"That's just great," she said, crossing her arms tightly over her chest, pacing as she talked, becoming more unraveled as she rounded the small room. "Tell me why you get to just flunk out of life while I've been busting my ass, doing everything I'm supposed to, only to have it all taken away from me? How is that fair? And yeah, I know... who said life is fair," she said, quoting him. "I don't need you reminding me." She was being irrational and she knew it. But she didn't care.

"What's this about Chrissy? What's wrong?" He watched from his spot rooted near the front door.

"Oh nothing important," she said sarcastically, a tremor in her voice. "Just my life, what I've been working for forever being obliterated in one day. Not even one day, in one sentence. Oh, sorry Ms. Cunningham, you're best is not good enough."

"Who said you're not good enough?" He put a hand to his head as though he was trying to make himself focus

The letter from MSU was still bunched up in her hand, she flung it at him and stomped away. He unfolded it, flattening it as best he could, and read it over. "So what? This doesn't mean shit."

"What! How can you say that to me? This is my life."

"Exactly. This is your life. Is this really what you wanted?" He asked holding up the letter.

She dropped down into the recliner, buried her face in her hands, shaking her head back and forth. "I thought I did. For a while. But now, I just don't know."

Eddie sunk down to his knees in front of her. Took her hands away from her face, giving her no choice but to meet his eyes. "What do you want?" He questioned as though he cared, as though she didn't just barge into his house, blaming him for... for what she wasn't even sure. "What do you want. Not your parents and not Jason. What do you want?"

"I don't even know. Pathetic right? I'm such a loser. Doing everything that I'm told, not even questioning it until it all comes crumbling down and I'm left with nothing." She hung her head again.

"No, you're not a loser. Or pathetic. If you saw what I saw when I look at you… you'd see a smart, kind, beautiful girl that is trying to figure out her way in this fucked up, unfair world. And this?" He pointed to the letter. "I know it's devastating for you, but maybe it's your get outta jail free card. Maybe it's your shot to escape a boring life that deep down you know you don't want."

The tears she'd been fighting off finally fell. Eddie wound his arms around her and she leaned her head on his shoulder. "It's okay," he whispered in her hair. "We will figure this out." He held her there until the tears subsided until there was nothing left. "You're going to be fine, no matter what you decide to do. College, no college. Whatever it is. You'll be fine." The way he said it, with such infinite certainty, she could almost believe him.

Slowly the tears stopped and the realization of what she'd just done came to her. She pulled away, wiping her face with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. "God, I'm so sorry for, for everything." She figured that would cover all the bases, all the rules she broke by coming here like she did.

Eddie backed away, giving her space "You don't gotta apologize to me, remember."

She smiled and nodded her head. "I'm a mess."

"I don't know about that. My sweatshirt looks pretty good on you." His one-off compliments caught her off guard. She didn't know how to respond to them, what she was supposed to say. Her family didn't dole out compliments very much, if at all. You were expected to do your best, and you didn't get rewarded for it. She was more noticed by Eddie than anyone else.

Just like that, everything was smoothed over between them and all was forgiven. Not that there was really anything to forgive. People disagreed. It happens. Eddie didn't play games with other people's emotions. Didn't hold grudges. Didn't make anyone grovel and for that she was grateful


Guess we all guessed where she was going. :) Thanks for reading.