Thanks for being with me during this slow burn. Things should start to heat up now. Hopefully.
Chrissy continued to float through the days. Pulling away from her friends, especially Tiffany, going through the motions of the last few cheer practices. Counting down the days until she was officially done with school. Three short weeks to go. Well, two and half weeks. Sixteen days, but who's counting? She couldn't wait to be done.
Harboring secrets was no easy task. At least not for her. Other people, a certain two came to mind, seemed to have no problem with it. The dishonesty, the secrets she carried, weighed her down. Physically she felt like she was in a cloud. She wanted so badly to tell everyone everything. The words got stuck in her throat and refused to come out. So she went on with her life, acting as though nothing was wrong, feeling like the ultimate imposter.
Strangely though, the turmoil of losing the scholarship came with a new found freedom. One that held a future that was different from anything she imagined, one that was totally up to her. Her future held an opportunity that wasn't there before.
The seniors were called to an end-of-the-year assembly to go over the next two weeks. It was a chaotic time with exams and prom and finally the graduation itself. They also would be able to pick up their caps and gowns. She sat with Jason, his hand rested on her thigh. A claim of ownership. It baffled her how he acted so nonchalant as though he wasn't screwing around with her own best friend. She was going to end it, she really was, she was waiting for the right moment. Every time she got close, she chickened out. Wondering if maybe she was reading into something that wasn't there. Maybe he wasn't cheating on her with Tiffany. Maybe.
And with that thought, she knew she was living a lie. It was time to end it whether or not he was cheating on her. He was not the good guy he had everyone fooled into believing he was and she'd known this for quite a while. She didn't want to believe it. He had his good qualities. Didn't he?
She scanned the crowd of rowdy seniors and Eddie wasn't one of them. It was still up in their air whether he'd graduate or not. He had another exam to take that he had to get at least a B or better on. She wasn't sure if he'd come to the assembly anyway. Always the bad boy, assemblies weren't for him, she smiled to herself at the thought. To cool for school.
A few teachers along with the student advisors stood at the back of the stage. Ms. Kelley included. Speaking into a microphone that was prone to squeal loudly, the principal's voice echoed out, "Alright, alright, I know you're all excited but if you will just settle down we can get through some announcements, and then you will be free to go. We'll let ya' cut out a little early, how about that?" The students clapped at this. A few whooped. Normally a stickler for rules, the principal gave them a little bit of leeway. They were stoked about graduating and he couldn't rightfully blame them for that.
"Okay," he cleared his throat. "A few announcements. As you all know, prom will be held here in the gym next weekend. Let's give the prom committee a round of applause for their hard work. Half-heartedly the students did as they were told. "The nominees for prom king and queen are as follows."
Chrissy's shoulders tensed. She felt Jason staring at her. They should share an adoring smile, she knew the drill. People were watching. They had an image to uphold. Well, fuck that image, she thought rebelliously. She kept her gaze forward.
The principal read off two other couples' names, saving Chrissy's and Jason's for last. She wanted to scream. Jason forcibly took her hand from where it was clamped on her knee, leaning over and kissing her cheek.
She wanted to cry. She wanted to run away.
"The votes will be tallied and announced during prom. And now on to the recipients of this year's various awards." He went through the long list, asking each person to stand for acknowledgment. Chrissy's name was read numerous times. Academic Excellence Award. Most hours volunteered award. Even the perfect attendance award though she wasn't sure how she scored that one. She and Eddie had skipped that one time and she missed a class.
She worked for these awards and worked her ass off for the grades. It wasn't easy but now it was almost embarrassing. It was definitely excessive. At this point, she was over herself and didn't want to hear her name announced again. Jason played the part of proud boyfriend, putting his arm around her, kissing her temple, whispering in her ear, "We know you won't be getting an award for math, right?"
This time she did look at him. He was smiling, laughing even. "What?" It's a joke. Did you forget how to laugh?" He asked, taking her hand, and kissing her knuckles. She pulled away from him, her side pressing into the armrest of the chair opposite of Jason.
"I'm sure it's no surprise the next name I'm about to announce." Jason took Chrissy's hand again, ignoring her anger. "She's worked hard, received all A's and is graduating a year early, and has plans to go to MSU in the fall. She helps whenever possible and is a friend to everyone. She's everyone's favorite cheerleader. I am proud to say this year's valedictorian is Chrissy Cunningham."
She thought she might throw up. Plastering on her own fake smile, she forced herself to stand, locking her knees in place so she wouldn't run. The room swam as she looked from the applauding principal to Ms. Kelley who gave her a wink, to Jason who looked on proudly, smiling with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.
Her gaze traveled over the audience of students, looking one last time for Eddie. She caught a shadow lurking just outside the side door leading to the auditorium.
Relife sawm through her at the sight of him and she wasn't quite sure why. She felt better knowing he was close by. She kept smiling, one that you give in hopes that if you smile, you won't cry.
He smiled back encouragingly, giving her the devil horns - making a fist with his forefinger and pinky sticking up, and stuck his tongue out, giving a little headbang. She stifled a laugh, thankful the tears that burned were dissipating. As she sat back down she looked over at Jason who'd apparently witnessed the whole interaction between her and Eddie. His eyes practically glowed with stone-cold anger.
He ignored her for the rest of the assembly and left as soon as it was over. Not offering her a ride. She wished she could say she was upset, yet she wasn't. Not at all. It was immature but he deserved it. Give him a little of his own medicine, even though nothing was going on between her and Eddie.
At her locker, she noticed a folded piece of paper propped up against the stack of books on the upper shelf. "Meet me in the parking lot," it directed in chicken scratch black ink handwriting. She took her time at her locker making sure Jason would be gone for the day - because she didn't need any more of that drama - before she exited the building.
Eddie's van was parked long ways over three parking spots. He must have left and come back at some point. This late in the year the school didn't care if the seniors skipped as long as they were in class more than they weren't and went to their exams. He was leaning against the door, a foot kicked out, elbow propped up on the open window. Iron Maiden blared from the speakers.
Winter was finally letting its grip on the snow globe they lived in and the sun beaming through the clouds warmed her face as she made her way to him. The smile that spread her face was automatic.
"Well looky here. It's Queenie Validcotrian. Right here in the parking lot!" She laughed and gave a royal wave; elbow - elbow - wrist. "Tell ya' what, you missed your calling as Queen."
"Hey, I still got time," she retorted. She leaned her shoulder against the van, facing Eddie.
"Congratulations," he said with a little bit more seriousness this time. "You really deserve it."
She rolled her eyes and kicked a rock at her foot. It went skittering across the pavement. "What? You don't want to be valedictorian?" He asked.
She shrugged her shoulder. "I don't know. Will it matter in ten years? It feels like another hoop I was forced to jump through."
He chuckled. "I really don't know, Queenie. You should be proud. You worked hard for it. But I'll tell you this much, you are worth more than your GPA."
She hadn't noticed until he lifted his hand to his mouth that he had a joint cupped in his palm, pinched with his thumb and finger. He took a drag and offered her a hit. She looked around. Excluding a few cars, they were alone. She leaned forward and he held it while she took a toke. "Hey, you're getting better at not coughing."
"Great," she said blowing smoke into the wind. "I'll be sure to add that to my resume, right next to valedictorian." They laughed and it felt good.
They each took a few more hits before Eddie opened the door to the van, pinching off the joint and hiding it in an ashtray he kept under his seat. "Got somethin' for you," he said, his voice muffled in the van.
"Oh?" She never knew what to expect from him. He could procure a snake and she would not be surprised. He was wild and crazy and she loved it.
He resurfaced and tossed something green at her. It was a graduation cap, just like the one she'd gotten from the assembly. Her eyes met his, he tried to hide the smile but his eyes gave him away. "No way!" Chrissy yelled."
He nodded. "Ms. Kelley pulled me into her office this morning, told me I was graduating. Gave me a gown. A hat." He tapped the hard cardboard top of the cap she still held in her hands. "Said she wants me to walk with the class at the graduation ceremony 'n everything. Ain't that some shit?"
"Oh my God, Eddie! That's totally great. I'm so proud of you!" She flung her arms around his shoulders. By far more excited about his news than learning she was valedictorian. He grasped tightly around her waist, pulling her up and off her feet.
"Na'. I couldn't a' done it without you," he said into her ear. His words, his hot breath brushing past her ear made her shiver.
"Bullshit," she laughed as he set her back down. "You could have done it without me and you know it!"
"No." He was serious again. "You believed in me when no one else did. That's what it took to get me here."
