I really hope you all don't hate me for this next part.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! :)
And she let it happen, it was more than just a kiss. It was a slow burn of fire searing through her body.
They parted for a brief second, his thumb trailing over her lips, his hand cupping her face. Despite the chill in the air, his hand was warm against her skin. His thumb, calloused from years of playing guitar. "Eddie," she whispered. Was that said out loud? She didn't know. It all felt so unreal. Dream-like. She slipped his thumb into her mouth, and sucked lightly. It tasted of metal.
"You tryin' to kill me?" He asked with a groan.
She wound her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her, angling slightly to allow him better access to her mouth. He slipped his tongue between her lips and she moaned at the silky warmth. His hands moved to her hips, grasping the fabric, pulling her closer. She pressed herself against him, melting into him in delirious pleasure. Shattering the illusion that she was this well-put-together girl that makes all the right choices. It felt incredible to just let it happen. To be in the moment and feel Eddie's hands on her, his lips touching hers.
In this place, at this very moment, with Eddie, all felt right. There was no Jason or Tiffany or graduation or scholarships. He had the ability to make her forget about everything except him, and now his lips. Soft and warm, yearning. Making her want more. Fused together, he slowly walked her backward until her back came in contact with the car. The kiss became more hungry, impassioned. More aggressive… in the best possible way. He pinned her between the car and himself. She hoped he'd never release her.
It seemed to go on forever… until it didn't. The negative thoughts rendered momentarily silent by Eddie regrettably broke through. What the hell do you think you're doing? You're going to hurt Eddie like you do everyone else.
Chrissy abruptly pulled away. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. Remembering she put the car keys in her pants pocket, she fished them out. "I can't do this. It's not fair to…"
"To who?" Eddie asked. "Jason? Jason can go fuck himself. You deserve someone who gives a shit, who doesn't take pride in being an asshole. You deserve someone who doesn't play games with you." His eyes, black as the night sky, pleaded with her to understand, to see what he sees.
"This isn't about Jason. This is about you, this isn't fair to you. You deserve better than me."
Stunned, he looked away and ran a hand over his face. He focused his eyes back on her, grasping her chin with his finger and thumb. "God, he's beat you down so low you don't even see your own worth. It kills me." He pointed to his chest as though it physically hurt him. "To know how badly he treats you."
He stepped away, expanding the emptiness that encompassed her when she wasn't with him. "Leave if you want to but believe me when I say that Jason's the bad guy here, not you."
"I'm not so sure about that," she replied. How could she be good when she feels the way she does for Eddie when she's supposed to be with Jason? Her head pounded with confusion.
"Well, I am sure," he told her. "But I'm done."
Panic settled in her bones and she froze, the keys making indents in her palm. "What do you mean you're done? Done with me?" The finality of his words punctuated the moment like a sword through her heart.
"No, I'm not done with you, Chrissy." His eyes held onto hers assuringly. "I'm done pretending that I don't love you."
Her breath caught in her throat. It was too much. She had no idea how to react to his words. She wanted to say the words back but something inside of her was preventing it. "No. You don't," she tried to argue, thinking maybe she could make him see he's wrong.
He chuckled, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly as he shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and took a step back. "Queenie, you're not gonna talk me out loving you."
"I… I have to go," she said again. She was making this a disaster and hurting the one person she cared about the most.
He walked a few steps back to the bar and stopped long enough to watch her unlock the car. She got in and gunned the engine and watched him fade into the darkness in the rearview mirror.
Prom. Something Chrissy looked forward to all year now seemed as pointless as everything else. She didn't want to go but as cheer captain and valedictorian and prom queen nominee, she was expected to be there. To dress up, look her best. Smile. Socialize. Play the part. She felt like a ghost, tiptoeing through her own life.
All she wanted to do was go to Eddie and make him accept her apology. Hanging out with him sounded much better than going to prom. Or, going to prom with Eddie. Wouldn't that be a sight? Him in a tuxedo. He'd probably wear a bow tie with his Hellfire t-shirt. The thought warmed her of the perpetual chill that made her bones ache since the night at the bar.
They were done with their tutoring sessions, he'd passed all his exams and is graduating. She missed it already. She missed him. She wouldn't blame him if he never spoke to her again. He told her he loved her and she just left. She wondered how she so gloriously messed things up.
She had picked out the perfect dress months ago on a shopping trip with her mother. It was the perfect shade of green matching their school colors. Jason's vest was the same color. Of course, it was. Sleek velvet hugged her slight hips perfectly and draped to the floor. A side slit up to the lower thigh. Any higher and her mother would have vetoed it right away. They compromised the slit and deep V cut out in the back with the high neckline.
She sat at her desk in her bedroom, peering at the mirror, hardly recognizing herself as her mother stood behind her making sure every strand of hair was in its rightful place.
"Did you go to prom?" Chrissy asked Laura, knowing she had. She'd seen the pictures in an old photo album stuffed away in her closet. Her mother wore a pale yellow chiffon dress with puffy sleeves and a ruffled bodice and a matching wide-brimmed hat.
"Uh-hmm," she answered in her distracted way.
Chrissy spun around so she was facing her. "Tell me about it," she encouraged, wanting desperately to have a close relationship with her mother. As always, she felt an arm's length away.
"Oh, you don't want to hear about that. It was forever ago." Laura picked up the pair of teardrop earrings from the desk and kneeled to put one in Chrissy's right ear.
"Sure I do," Chrissy insisted.
"Well," she sighed. "My dress took a good month for my mother to make. Back then we still made our clothes. Especially for special occasions. So, she insisted on making it. It was gorgeous." Laura said off-handedly. More of a thought than a statement. She took the other earring and slipped it onto Chrissy's left ear. She thought that might be the end of the story. To her surprise, her mother continued. "But when I tried it on it didn't fit."
"Did she measure wrong?"
"Gosh no. Your grandmother did not do anything incorrectly."
Chrissy's grandmother passed away years ago and she hadn't known her well. In the old photos she'd seen, she was well put together. Perfectly ironed clothes. Her hair was done in a tidy short helmet. Her makeup was understated yet perfectly applied.
It dawned on Chrissy then that's probably where her own mother got her penchant for perfectionism. She began to understand her mother a little bit more. She wanted to understand her better. What made her tick. Why was she the way she was?
"Well, what happened? Why didn't the dress fit?"
Laura pinched her lips together and stood. Going to the bed, she smoothed the bedspread before she sat on the edge. "It didn't fit because I'd gained weight. I was pregnant, Chrissy. With you."
I went back and forth about adding this bit with Chrissy and her mom. It seemed important to know where and why she was getting this pressure to be perfect. Also, sorry for so much dialogue. Hope you still enjoyed it.
