Chapters should be a little chunkier from now on. I didn't expect this to go on so long. ;)
Chrissy quietly peeked around the corner, hidden in the shadows of the dimly lit hall and watched as her life unraveled. It sounded dramatic, she knew. Unraveled. She planned her life around Jason, naively believing it would all turn out. They'd go to college together. They'd get married. They'd have careers and kids and family vacations. Anger stirred in the pit of her stomach. Anger at Jason. Also, anger with herself for believing in Jason and his false narrative.
"Tiffany, calm down. You know it has to be this way. If I broke up with Chrissy, the sweetheart of the school, everyone would hate me."
Boo hoo, Jason.
"And what about me? Where do I fit in? What about next fall?"
"Don't get ahead of yourself." He took her by the shoulders. "You know I love you," he schmoozed. Chrissy had heard that syrupy tone many times before.
Whenever he wanted something she wasn't willing to give. Every time he wanted his way. Whenever she was mad at him. He was good at it and could talk himself out of just about everything. She almost felt sorry for Tiffany because she was falling for it hook line and sinker.
"It's not fair," Tiffany pouted, but gave in, allowing Jason to lift her chin to face him. Allowing him to kiss her.
Chrissy didn't need to see any more. She spun around and went the long way back to the gym. Numb. Not really feeling anything. The anger dissipated and she was left hollow. Empty. She had proof of what she'd been suspecting. It had been right in front of her face, she just didn't want to believe it. Her future had been tethered to Jason. That tether had finally snapped. Her life belonged to her. Her future belonged to her. Now that she recognized this for what it was, the question remained, what was she going to do with this information.
Turning the corner, just before she reached the gym entrance, a hand grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her down a hall into a darkened corner. It was Jason. She stifled a yelp as the skin of her wrist pulled in the grip of his hand. He stopped abruptly at the end of the hall and her heels slid on the linoleum floor sending her into the wall.
"What the hell, Jason?" She yelled, her head reverberating with the impact.
He clamped his hand over her mouth, pressed his face within an inch of hers. "You think you're sneaky?" He laughed cruelly. "Those damn clodhopper shoes of yours… I'd hear them anywhere. You're going to listen to me. Got it?" He waited for her to acknowledge him and when she nodded he continued. "You're not gonna fuck this up for me. You're not going to embarrass me."
She jerked her head and he released her mouth, keeping a firm grip on her wrist. "What exactly are you afraid of me messing up? The fact that you're cheating on me with my best friend or the fact that you're actually an asshole?" She truly wondered what his answer might be.
He grasped her upper arms, squeezing tightly and shoved her against the wall. "I've been playing Mr. Nice Guy since ninth grade. Straight A's. Camp counselor. Basketball captain. Taking that geek Lucas under my wing. People look up to me. Teachers look up to me." Motioning between the two of them, he said, "Basketball captain, cheer captain. We belong together. And don't act like I haven't noticed you with that freak Eddie."
She looked away. It shouldn't be a shock that Jason would know how much time she'd spent with Eddie. Jason had eyes everywhere, there was always someone willing to tell on her. "You will not mess this up for me. Do you understand?" He demanded. "You're going to go out there and act like I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you - because we both know I am. Got it?"
She nodded. What else could she do? Go to a teacher? They wouldn't believe her. Overpower him and run away? There was no way. So she went along with it. Swallowing her tears, shoving her helplessness deep down. That's what she knew to do; swallow her feelings. Shocked and ashamed that she never knew this side of him sooner. Just like everyone else, she'd been fooled. Or had she known and just didn't want to believe it? Did she know and not want to rock the boat, or upset him. Either way, she felt like an idiot for ever believing Jason was a good person.
By the time they got back to the gym, a crowd surrounded the stage. The head of the prom committee, a girl with dark blonde, bobbed hair named Robin was speaking into a microphone. "It is my pleasure to announce our 1986 prom king and queen." The crowd cheered loudly.
It was bogus. All so fake. The only thing that didn't feel fake was when she was with Eddie. She lived another life with him. Listened to heavy metal, got high with him. He'd taught her more about herself than anyone else had. She stood dumbfounded, unsure what to do as Jason grabbed her hand and smiled adoringly at her. A quiet rebellion stirred in her heart. She refused to smile back and didn't care if anyone noticed.
"Without further ado," Robin said and giggled while fumbling with an envelope and microphone. Chrissy hoped she wasn't going to read their names. But she had a suspicion Jason rigged it. People wanted him to like them and would do almost anything for his nice smile and charming facade.
"Jason Carver and Chrissy Cunningham," she announced. The crowd cheered and clapped. A group of basketball players and cheerleaders, except Tiffany, surrounded them, patting Jason on the back and hugging Chrissy. Jason pulled her along behind him as they made their way to the stage and climbed the steps. They stood centerstage and Robin crowned Jason with a cheap plastic crown and placed a sparkly dress-up tiara on Chrissy's head.
Jason took the microphone Robin handed him. "Wow," he began humbly. "I mean, wow. I really didn't expect this. You all, all of you made this possible. And I thank you," he bumped his chest with a fist. "From the bottom of my heart." He then pretended to get choked up. He cleared his throat and faced Chrissy. "And Chrissy, you're the best. I love you." He tried to kiss her. She not so graciously dodged him. He scowled at her and handed the microphone back to Robin.
It was an act. All of it. Why did no one notice? Why didn't she notice? The quiet rebellion grew stronger and louder until it buzzed in her head.
Adrenaline surged and she reached for the microphone. Jason pulled her back, grasping her hand. "Hey man, I think Chrissy wants to say something," Robin said, a line creased between her eyebrows. She didn't know Robin well, and Robin didn't know the dynamics between her and Jason but Chrissy had the feeling Robin would go to bat for her if need be. Robin handed the microphone over to her, giving her a thumbs up, letting her know she was free to say whatever she needed. It was the extra encouragement she needed.
"Thanks, Robin. I just wanted to thank you all myself," she snatched her hand from Jason, his nails digging into her skin deep enough to draw blood. She didn't notice.
"But I'm afraid you've been duped." Murmurs rumbled through the crowd, she had their attention. Glancing at Jason, his eyes an angry flash of blue, shook his head in warning. She went on. "We are not who you think we are. We're not the perfect couple."
"I'm not who you think I am. I am not the 'Queen of Hawkins High'." She reached up and removed the tiara, pulling her hair out of the clip that held it in a french twist and handed it to Robin. "I'm a fake." She shrugged. "I'm not going to MSU in the fall. I didn't get the scholarship I needed." She actually laughed here. Let out an unsteady breath that has been stuck in her chest since receiving the letter from MSU.
As she spoke, she felt an unwinding in her body from all the stored tension. In her belly, in her chest, in her shoulders. In her mind.
"I was scared. I didn't want to disappoint anyone and I was afraid I'd be outed as a failure. But someone showed me there's nothing wrong with me… that I wasn't a failure. He showed me that I've been living someone else's dream."
"So, please. Give that crown to someone else. I don't want it. I'm done pretending to be someone I'm not."
To her surprise, Robin began clapping. And then someone else did. And then more people joined in. Soon a wave of deafening applause filled the room. She hadn't expected that and emotion burned in her throat.
"One more thing," she said into the microphone. Before she could change her mind, she faced Jason. "And Jason, I'm sorry."
His brow smoothed over, ready to play the part of sweet, forgiving boyfriend. Until she spoke again. "I'm sorry I've wasted almost two years on you. I'm sorry I trusted you. I'm sorry I believed every lie you ever told me. You and Tiffany can have each other. You don't have to sneak around behind my back anymore."
Chrissy left the stage and walked through the crowd with her head held high, keeping her eyes focused on the red exit sign. Her classmates, obviously stunned, parted for her. She left the gym and escaped once again to the bathroom furthest away. She wanted a minute to gather her bearings, catch her breath.
Looking at herself in the mirror again she saw someone completely different than she had before. Someone that had the weight of the world lifted off her shoulders. She ran a shaky hand over her messed-up hair, over her hot pink-cheeked face. Over her dress.
This dress…she wanted something fun and flashy and bright. Skirt poofing out, cut at the knees. Ruffles lining the cupped sleeves as well as the collar. It was what the other girls wore to prom. Chrissy thought she had wanted something sleeker, slimmer. But no, Jason had wanted her to wear something sleeker and slimmer. It made her want to rip the dress off and go streaking through the gym. Wouldn't that be a way to be remembered?
She ran water from the faucet and watched as it pooled in the stained sink, winding down the drain. Just like her past life. Maybe now she could figure out who she was and what she wanted to do with her life. Maybe now she'd be free to be with Eddie - if he'd still wanted her. Her heart sped up at the idea of her and Eddie, of the idea of exploring what that meant. Exploring more of that kiss.
And if he didn't want her, she wouldn't blame him. She knew she'd be okay either way. She was capable of figuring things out on her own. But, Lord, she hoped Eddie would give them a chance.
She hung out in the bathroom for a little bit longer hoping Jason would be long gone by the time she got out. She'd have to walk home, it was only a block away and she didn't mind. It'd give her time to clear her head, to think things over. Or… she could call Eddie. He'd probably be willing to give her a ride.
After about ten minutes, the bathroom door creaked open and she turned the faucet back on, pretending to be washing her hands. A figure appeared behind her in the mirror. It was the girl who lived next to Eddie, Billy's sister. She smiled at Max's reflection. She reciprocated with an unsure half-smile. "Sorry to bug you, Chrissy. I've been looking all over for you. Was about to go to your house. Can I talk to you for a second?"
She'd never even spoken to Max before. She was quiet and kept to herself. Chrissy noticed her walking through the hallway, headphones on, looking sad and alone. She had heard she was having a hard time at home after her brother's death. Who wouldn't be having a hard time after that? Now, Chrissy felt bad for never reaching out or talking to her. She shut off the faucet and wiped her hands on paper-thin napkins from the dispenser and said, "Sure." She had no idea what this might be about but she had a feeling Max didn't want to just talk or hang out. She had something important to say.
She followed Max out of the bathroom and into the empty hallway. The cool air felt good on her overheated face and she took a deep breath. It was like she could breathe again, or for the first time.
She was quick to notice they weren't alone though. Lucus in jeans and a windbreaker, stood on the other side of the hall waiting for them. Normally freshmen weren't allowed to attend the senior prom unless they were the date of a senior. They must have snuck in through the unlocked door. Briefly, Chrissy wondered if she looked as young as these two when she was a freshman. She felt like she'd aged ten years in one evening.
"I didn't know if we should tell you, or… or what," Max spoke earnestly. They were both straight-faced, serious.
"What's wrong?" She had no idea what they needed from her but Chrissy wanted to help.
"It's about Eddie. And Jason," Lucas pipped up.
Leave a comment if you'd like Thanks for reading.
