Beckett of Arabia

By UCSBdad

Disclaimer: It is written that I do not own Castle. Rating: K. Time: An AU period slightly after A Deadly Affair.

Castle turned to Cowboy.

"What was all that about? Calling me Captain and talking about their American friends?"

"Somalia pretty much began falling apart some twenty years ago. The so-called central government doesn't even control most of the capitol, Mogadishu. So, Puntland declared itself an autonomous province of Somalia. That means that they don't pay no attention to anything the central government says unless they coincidentally happen to want to do it."

"To the west of here is Somaliland, which used to be a British colony until they got joined with Somalia. When things turned to shit here, they declared themselves an independent country. Now, no one recognizes either place as a real country, but they do keep the jihadis and pirates under control as best they can. So, they get "unofficial" visits from US Special Forces and the CIA. In addition, there are some private military companies that operate here, kind of under the radar."

"These PMCs wouldn't be anybody you know, would they?" Castle asked.

"Nope. There's been both US and South African companies in here, doing "training". Now, all of Somalia is under a UN arms embargo. You can imagine how successful that is in these parts. 'Course, it's near impossible to get armor, artillery, aircraft or warships, but they have plenty of infantry firepower."

"So, the soldier back there thought we were just some wandering, "unofficial" Special Forces?"

"You got it, Jefe. Or should I call you Captain Castle?"

"Rick. Call me Rick."

They arrived at the harbor and found a small launch marked Puntland Maritime Police Force. The boat looked well maintained and the crew was well dressed, well-armed, well fed and appeared to know their business.

The boats commander informed Daud that it would take several hours to get to Djibouti, and they were soon off.

"I keep expecting a sea monster will come after us, or maybe a flying dragon." Castle said. "After all the trouble we've had, it's hard to believe it's almost over."

"Don't worry about mythical creatures, Mr. Castle." Majida said. "Look out for pirates or naval vessels looking for a bribe, or just to shoot up someone to stave off boredom."

"I hadn't thought of that, and I wish you hadn't mentioned it."

But the trip was uneventful and in a few hours they were approaching a busy port.

"Lookie there." Said Sundance. "Ain't that the prettiest sight you've ever seen?"

"What?" Castle asked.

"Up there. Them's US F 15 fighters. And look in the port. That's some sort of amphibious ship. Damn, we got friends around. Heavily armed friends."

The boat let them off at a dock and they began walking towards the US base, Camp Lemmonier. The base was surrounded by razor wire and they had to walk a bit to find an entrance. Finally, they came to a gate with a guard post.

Cowboy walked up to the soldier on guard.

"Afternoon, amigo. We need to talk to either Colonel Andres or Mr. Callan, ASAP. Will you call one of 'em for us?"

"Who the hell are you?" He asked, looking at the armed strangers.

"See these three young ladies? Well, they're Girl Scouts and they're sellin' cookies and if the colonel and Mr. Callan don't get their orders for thin mints in, they're gonna be real mad."

The soldier decided to call his superior.

Sometime later, a truck came to pick them up. They were taken to a compound with a sign in front of it that they went by too quickly for Castle to make out.

Cowboy, LoDon and Sundance went in to talk to someone while the rest were left to sit in an outer office. None of the other people in the office, both military and civilians, seemed at all surprised that a disparate group of armed people would suddenly show up. Just another day at the office, Castle supposed.

After two hours, the three came out.

"Good news and better news, folks. The good news is they're gonna put us on a C 130 heading for Cairo tonight and from there, Majida will head back to Erbil, Marian and Daud to Oman, and we'll head back to the US of A."

"The better news is that old Koslov is dead as a doornail. He picked up some hooker in Sofia, Bulgaria and was trying to choke her to death, which seemed to be the bastard's thing. Her twelve year old sister heard the ruckus, grabbed a pistol and put three rounds in the back of Sergei's head, as neat as you please. Ain't that the damndest thing you ever heard?"

"However, Mr. Callan wants to talk to you two." He pointed to Rick and Kate.

They walked into Callan's office and were told to sit. Callan himself was stocky and greying. He kind of reminded Castle of the CIA agent at the beginning of Apocalypse Now. He wondered if he and Beckett would be sent up some African river to terminate a mad Green Beret colonel.

Callan spoke.

"You to realize that none of this ever happened."

"What?" Castle said as innocently as he could manage. "We've been in an FBI safe house in the US."

Callan smiled coldly.

"And I'd suggest that nothing like this ever get into one of your books, Mr. Castle."

"Nikki Heat is an NYPD detective. What would she be doing outside of Manhattan?"

"I'm glad we understand each other. Now, I think Mr. Coleman and the rest are headed for some chow. Why don't you tag along?"

After the Middle Eastern diet he'd been on, Castle ate a double chili cheeseburger, washed down with two chocolate milk shakes and ending with an ice cream sundae. Kate had the same.

That night they flew to Cairo West Air Base where they finally split up. Both Majida and Marian cried when they parted and Castle was surprised to see Kate's eyes tear up. But off they went.

The rest of the party was out on a USAF C17 for the long trip back to the US.

"Sundance, I never did find out your real name." Castle asked on the plane.

"Don't laugh, but I'm Bob Parker."

"No way." Castle said, laughing.

"What's so funny?" Kate asked.

"The Sundance Kid's partner was Butch Cassidy, but his real name was Robert Leroy Parker. Say, your real name isn't…"

"No, sir." Sundance said. "I'm Robert James Parker. My ma and pa weren't that bad to me."

Also on the plane were some servicemen and women coming back from various posts in the Middle East. One of them approached Castle.

"Excuse me, sir, but are you people CIA?"

Castle leaned back a bit so the soldier could see the .45 he still had in a shoulder holster.

"CIA? Never heard of it. Any of you ever hear of something called a CIA?"

Everyone agreed they hadn't.

The soldier looked confused, then smiled.

"Of course, you're not CIA, sir. My mistake."

Cowboy leaned over and whispered in Castle's ear.

"Not bad, Boss, but you should have picked your teeth with a Bowie knife before answering."

Kate giggled at that.

Once back in New York they were taken to the same abandoned subway station where they'd begun their journey. They were given fresh clothing and allowed to clean up. Then they caught a cab to their respective families.

"Richard!" Martha cried, running to her son with Alexis right behind. They hugged him and he told them the cover story he and Beckett had been given, that they had been in a series of FBI safe houses and had no idea why anyone would want to kill them.

"I'll be back but Beckett has to go check in with Captain Montgomery now that she's seen her dad, and I need to be there to give her moral support. But, I shall return."

The bullpen erupted in cheers as soon as Rick and Kate got off the elevator. Everyone was asking questions, but Captain Montgomery soon had them in his office, where they repeated their cover story.

Once out of his office, they were grabbed by Ryan, Esposito and Lanie.

"Okay, Bro, talk. What happened to you."

"We can't tell you anything." Castle said.

"Come on, Castle. This is us. You can tell us."

"We can't tell you anything, Espo, because we don't know anything. We got shot at…"

"A couple of hired guns. We couldn't find a thing about them and they're dead." Ryan said.

"And then we were moved around from one FBI safehouse to the next and no one would tell us what was going on. Then one day they said we could go home. Whoever wanted us dead was no longer a threat to anyone." Kate explained.

"I am going to write a book exposing the inadequacies of the FBI's safehouses. The food is second rate, the beds are lumpy, and all we had to keep us busy were some old paperback books. Would a cable channel have been too much to ask for?"

"Poor Castle, stuck with no gourmet chef." Kate said, wiping a non-existent tear from her eyes.

Much later…

"You really do know a used tank dealer?" Kate said, staring at the hulking steel monster in the warehouse in Manhattan.

"Actually, it's from whoever Cowboy works for, but I agreed to pay shipping costs to Oman. And I made a nice contribution to the Kurdish Women's Protective Units."

"Very generous, Castle. But this isn't the same kind of tank the sheik had."

"It's an upgraded Israeli version of the US M 48 tank. Upgraded engine, armor, weapons, transmission, radios, the works. It should make Sheik Sidki the envy of every other sheik in Oman."

"I'm sure he'll be thrilled."

"So, how about lunch, Beckett? Remy's, as usual?"

"I thought I'd like to try Tio Pico's. I hear they have great Cuban sandwiches."

"I thought you said you couldn't afford Tio Pico's?'

"I can't, but I think I can talk a friend into taking me."

Castle stood there confused as Beckett walked away.

She turned and looked over her shoulder.

"Coming, Castle?"

The End

Author's note: Next up is Through the Lookingglass. Captain Richard Castle, Imperial Terran Space Navy and his lovely wife Kate are getting the band back together. There'll be Moecious, the Vorlag bartender and sometime spy; Simone Renoir and Jane Avril, two ladies who may be older than they look; the Kzins, Duke Skinny and his brother, Spotty; and the brilliant Lindane and her mom, Andine, the retired… Um, courtesan. And of course, the Quinncunx, who still hasn't said anything that makes sense.