CHAPTER 4
A few days later…
"Your lunch money, bitch."
Under the bleachers, Quinn Fabray growled at the small freshman struggling desperately in front of her. Two of Quinn's friends, both equally large and terrifying looking, were holding the freshman's arms behind her back, while Quinn stood over the quivering girl. She didn't hit the girl. But quite frankly, she didn't need to. The freshman, once she managed to get over her shock and fear, almost threw the money at Quinn in her fear. As Quinn held it in her hands, she chuckled and smirked at the freshman.
"Thanks. Now leave."
The freshman didn't need to be given a second invitation to turn on her heel and sprint away as fast as she could. However, as she tried to run, she quickly realised that she couldn't, as Quinn was holding her back by the back of her Cheerios jacket.
"Sorry, I forgot to say. That jacket… it's mine now."
"Y-y-yes. Here. Take it." The freshman stammered, shrugging it off her shoulders and taking off as far from Quinn as she could get. Quinn's other 'friends' walked away too a few moments later, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Things couldn't have changed more for Quinn Fabray over the past summer. She had lost everything. She had been cast aside by Puck. Cast aside by Sam. Cast aside by Finn. Twice. Both times for the hobbit nonetheless. She had given up Beth and not seen her for an entire year. Quinn had absolutely nothing left to live for, nothing left to lose. And so she had allowed herself to slip further and further, until she was thoroughly unrecognisable from the person she used to be. It had started with quitting Glee and the Cheerios. Then came the Pink hair. A nose ring. Ripped black leather clothes. A tattoo of Ryan Seacrest on her lower back. This was the new her, and she was never going back.
However, as Quinn held the girl's Cheerios jacket in her hands, a remnant of her former life, she couldn't help but feel something. It was a pang of not only guilt, but also a little bit of longing. There was a part of her that did miss her old life. Being the hot head Cheerio, she practically ruled the school. And being in Glee, she had a group of friends who would die for her. It was hard to give all that up. But it was good to have given it up, she told herself. This was the real her. The old Quinn Fabray was so hard to maintain, and it wasn't the real her. It was just an illusion.
All of a sudden, she was dragged from her train of thoughts when she heard a loud laughing and chuckling coming from behind her, along with sarcastic slow clapping. Her head spun around and she saw an unfamiliar boy standing in front of her. She had never seen him around before, but if she said that he was unattractive, she'd be lying. This was quite possibly the hottest person she had ever seen in McKinley, and it took her a few seconds to remember that she didn't care about that anymore.
"Well done." The boy drawled sarcastically. "I mean that was absolutely terrifying to watch. Threatening that girl… you were like that angry thing from that movie, what was it called? Oh yeah, Inside Out."
It was the end of the day, and Marcus had found his way over to the field. Almost everyone in the school was playing a sport, or doing a club… something that involved them socialising with others or learning new things. Not Marcus. He had no interest in any of this - Rugby was the only extracurricular activity he needed, and he had found an Rugby club in the area to train at already. Marcus' route home involved him walking around to the back exit of the school, the exit that was beside the field, so he needed to cut across the field to get there. However, as he made his way outside the main school building and over to the field, he had seen activity under the bleachers and he went over to investigate.
Quinn's face flushed crimson in anger and embarrassment.
"I'm sorry, who the hell are you?!" She snapped. The boy smirked at her, a smug grin that made her blood boil just seeing it. He strolled over to her with the confidence that he owned the world. He stuck out a hand, but Quinn didn't shake it. She merely eyed him, annoyed.
"Marcus. James. I'm a new student here. A senior." He said. "And you are?"
Quinn didn't respond, and that caused Marcus to laugh and sigh dramatically.
"Come on, I told you my name. At least tell me yours." He said. Quinn eventually, after eyeing him a few moments, nodded.
"Fine. I'm Quinn. Fabray." She responded. Marcus' eyes widened.
"You're Quinn Fabray? Like the former head cheerleader Quinn Fabray?" Marcus said. He had heard a bit about Quinn from Puck and others he sat beside in class. Apparently she was head cheerleader and in the Glee club, but since the summer, had come back with this emo style. Quinn's eyes narrowed, and Marcus let out a whistle of surprise. "Damn, what happened to you?"
"Shut up." She growled at him. Marcus chuckled.
"Come on! Don't be like that! I love hearing stories about the spiralling downfall of middle class teenage girls, and how they believe that their lives are over because of it. So what was it? How'd you go from the very top of the school to whatever wannabe skanky Madonna outfit this is?"
Quinn scowled daggers at him.
"You know what? Screw you." She spat, and she began to turn around to walk away, fury coursing through her blood. However, just as she was exiting under the bleachers, she heard the boy's voice call out once more.
"I know how it feels, you know?" He called. Quinn slowed to a halt, and she slowly turned around to face him again.
"You know nothing about me." She snapped. Marcus raised an eyebrow.
"Oh yeah? I know that you lost someone. Someone you loved more than anything or anyone in the world. And you blame yourself for losing them. You think that it was all your fault. And when you lost that person, you lost any and all sense of self worth within you. You think of yourself as this virus that corrupts others around you, someone that creates nothing but pain for others. And so you're scared you're going to hurt the people you care about, just like you hurt the person you lost, and then you're going to lose them. But instead of holding them close, you're going to push yourself away from them and act like you don't care anymore so if you do happen to lose them too, it'll hurt a little less."
Marcus' voice trailed off, and a long silence overtook them as they stood eye to eye, Quinn staring at Marcus in shock. She took in the words he had said, and she really, really thought about them. And as she did, she realised something… he was right. He was absolutely fucking right. After losing Beth, her whole world had been rocked, but it was only after this past summer that she had truly managed to process the impact. Only after losing Finn, and Puck, and Sam she realised that maybe it wasn't the world that was the problem, and it was instead her. Something Marcus had said truly rang inside her head… "you think of yourself as this virus". He wasn't wrong. She was a virus. She had been a bully to almost everyone she had come across, even those she considered to be close friends or boyfriends. And when Sam, Finn and Puck had all realised who she truly was, they had turned their backs on her. Finn even chose the insufferable Rachel over her for crying out loud!
As Quinn finally managed to pull herself out of her thoughts, her face pale and a lone tear starting to crawl into her eye, she realised that her jaw was gaping open in shock, and she quickly shut it.
"How did you…" She stammered, unable to finish the sentence. Marcus looked down and took a deep breath, before looking back at her.
"Because that was exactly me a few years ago. I lost someone I loved very much, and it took me down the very same road you're on right now." Marcus admitted. "And can I tell you something? Give you a bit of advice from someone whose been through it firsthand?"
Quinn slowly nodded.
"Please." She murmured.
"In a little while, you're going to realise a harsh truth… life fucking sucks. It isn't some kind of fairytale with a happy ending, where your friends and family are going to be able to pull you from this abyss and bring you back to normal life. You're going to realise that it's up to you and only you to get your shit together and return to the people who love you, because God knows they aren't going to do it for you."
Marcus said this in a shockingly harsh tone, a vehemence even surprising him. However, he then felt a pang of guilt as he saw tears begin to roll down Quinn's cheeks. His face and tone softened considerably, and he reached into his backpack to pull out a packet of tissues, and handed one to Quinn.
"Look, I am genuinely sorry for what you've had to go through." Marcus said, a lot gentler now. "But I'm just being honest. I wish I could tell you that things get better with time, but they honestly don't. Either you do the hard thinking and processing and realise that despite whatever mistakes you have made, you still have value in this world and people still love you. Or you can just go further and further and further until the abyss eventually fully swallows you up."
"How'd you get over your loss?" Quinn asked quietly. Marcus chuckled and shook his head, looking down again.
"Why do you think I'm here, under the bleachers talking to you, rather than out there with the rest of them?" Marcus remarked, pointing behind him at the field, where all of the football players and cheerleaders were practising blissfully. "It was too late for me. I was already too deep in my hole to manage to dig myself out, and I'd hate to see that happen to someone else. Think about it, Quinn Fabray. Realise your own self worth before it's too late."
Marcus then turned around and walked away, leaving Quinn alone. As soon as he was gone, the tears began to fall thick and fast. The more she thought about it, the more she realised how badly she had fucked up. She had given up on everyone and everything she cared about for what? Out of fear. And so Marcus was right, she did have two options. She could let that fear cripple her and ruin her life forever. Or she could accept that chip on her shoulder and start to move on from it. There was really one option she could afford to choose…
