Alex was fortunate in that the next few weeks were filled with exams, both for her and Emily, meaning that they had very little free time to spend together. Emily spent most nights at her dorm to study and when she was at Alex's house, she was generally too exhausted to try to initiate sex.

Alex knew this respite – this chance to come clean – wouldn't last forever, though. She needed to make a decision about what to do next and make it quickly.

She'd never been the type to keep secrets, not from people she cared about, and she cared about Emily possibly more than she'd ever cared about anyone. The problem was...telling the truth would very likely cost her Emily and she wasn't sure she could bear to pay that price.

Afterall, it was a one time thing and it was a mistake. And the idea of losing Emily over something so incredibly stupid was unbearably painful.

Maybe it was selfish. Maybe it was wrong. But she knew this was one secret she needed to take to her grave...


The morning after Emily's last exam, she awoke with a hangover that surely would have put all other hangovers to shame. She'd spent the night before at the campus bar with Kristy and, at some point during the evening, they'd linked up with a very cheerful, very colourful girl who insisted on plying Emily with something called the Green Fairy until Emily had agreed to sing karaoke with her. At least, that was what she pieced together from the fragments of memory that remained after the alcohol had had its way with her brain.

Unfortunately for Emily, absinthe had a nasty habit of making her stomach rebel the following morning...

She somehow managed to stumble to the en-suite bathroom just in time before her stomach contents made a hasty exit, stale beer and dollar nachos making a reappearance. "Fuck..." she groaned, fully and completely regretting every choice she'd made the night before.

Alex, just barely awake in the bedroom, mumbled a sleepy, "Are you okay?"

"No," she groaned, but not loud enough for her to hear; it was her own fault she was in this condition in the first place afterall... She heaved a sigh, leaned her head back against the wall, squeezing her eyes shut against the light streaming in the small window. It felt like a small construction crew was demolishing her skull...

She was officially never drinking again. (She'd made that promise before, but this time she meant it...)

Once the urge to vomit seemed to have subsided, she wiped her mouth with a tissue, but when she went to throw it in the trash, something distinctly out of place made her pause.

"Alex, what's this?" she asked, approaching the bed, brows raised in confusion. Her hands trembled slightly from barely withheld anger and more than a little anxiety.

"Hmm?" she mumbled, rolling over to peer up at her with one eye cracked open. Emily brandished what she'd pulled from the trash and Alex felt her stomach plummet. She pushed herself to sit up, eyes going wide with alarm. "Emily..."

She shook her head, anger clearly written in every line of her face. "Why is there a pregnancy test in your trash?" she demanded.

"Emily..." she said again. "Please..."

"Tell me the truth, Alex!" she urged, sounding close to tears. "You owe me that."

Heaving a sigh, Alex suggested, "You should sit..."

Emily seemed uncertain, but reluctantly settled on the edge of the bed. Her gaze never left Alex's, but this time with mistrust. "Well..."

Alex chewed her lip in silent debate, knowing she needed to tell the truth, but also knowing that once she did, things may very well be ruined. "Emily, first of all, you need to know I'm sorry."

Emily raised a brow in question.

"I had sex with James," she admitted.

Silence followed and it seemed like it might stretch on forever.

"You...you fucked him!?" she echoed, incredulous. "How... How the fuck did that happen?"

Alex's breath came out in shaky gasps. "I don't know, it just kind of happened and..."

Emily's eyes blazed with fury. "Just happened?" she repeated, biting out the words. "How does that just happen? You obviously knew what you were doing was wrong – you're not fucking stupid – and then you chose to keep it a secret instead of coming clean with me!"

"I know," she replied, "And I am sorry, please believe me, Emily..."

"Why should I? How can I possibly know when you're telling the truth anymore? How can I ever trust you again?"

She sniffled, choked on a sob. "Emily, I didn't mean to keep it a secret, but I was afraid of hurting you..."

She just shook her head, scoffed. "You did, though."

"I know," she repeated, "But I want to make it up to you because I do love you, Em, and I don't want one stupid mistake to ruin everything between us."

Emily gave her a pointed look.

"I love you, Emily. I love you," insisted desperately.

She sighed. "And yet, you're pregnant with the baby of your ex-husband."

Emily combed her hair away from her face and suddenly all the fight seemed to bleed out of her. "What now, Alex? What do you want me to do now? Because I don't know if I can sit idly by and watch you carry his baby...or watch you go back to him."

"I'm not going to..."

She gave her an even more scathing look. "Not what? Going back to him?" She shook her head. "Because I really don't trust your word right now."

Alex reached to rest a hand on her shoulder, but Emily shrugged away. "I want to earn your trust back. I'm just asking you to give me the opportunity."

Emily chewed at her lip, then shook her head. "I think I'm going to spend the night at my dorm. I need some space to think."

"Emily..."

"Maybe I'll see you in the morning," she pressed on. And with that, she stood again, pulling on her clothes without a backward glance...no matter how badly she may have wanted to turn back when she heard Alex sobbing.