"Staying in tonight?" Kristy asked as she shuffled through her clothes in search of something to wear. It was her and Matt's anniversary and they were going out to dinner. (Emily didn't comment that any place Matt could afford on his college student salary wouldn't be worthy of dressing up for, but she didn't want to kill her friend's excitement, so she said nothing.)
Emily shrugged, continued spooning Lucky Charms into her mouth. She didn't need a lecture about how it was her own damn fault that she was lonely because she could very well pick up the phone and call Alex if she really wanted to...
But apparently, she was getting the lecture anyway, based on the way Kristy sighed, rolled her eyes. "You know, if you want to see Alex so bad, why don't you just call her?" she demanded, just as Emily had predicted.
"I never said..."
Kristy's expression became more pointed.
Heaving a petulant sigh, she relented, "Fucking fine... Maybe I miss her, but I'm not going to call her."
"Why the hell not?"
Emily shrugged again – not because she didn't know the answer, but more because she really didn't want to rehash things with Kristy yet again. "Because I don't want to."
"God, you're stubborn," Kristy muttered. "You obviously still fucking love her, but you're holding onto some grudge and preventing yourself from being happy."
Rolling her eyes, Emily said, "I'm not having this argument again."
Kristy shook her head. "Whatever. Have fun being bored and alone while I'm out getting laid..."
"Whore," Emily muttered. She was only teasing and they both knew it, but Kristy stuck her tongue out childishly anyway.
"Do you want to get dinner? As friends," Emily texted Alex. Partly out of boredom, partly out of loneliness. Mostly because she missed her.
Almost immediately, the little bubble signifying Alex was typing popped up. Then vanished just as quickly. It repeated this pattern three or four times before she finally replied, "Are you sure?"
"I'm bored and hungry," she texted by way of answering. She paused, debated her next text, but ultimately added, "And lonely."
Several moments passed before Alex responded and Emily started to worry she would say no. She was on the verge of texting again and taking back the offer when Alex messaged, "I could really go for some waffles..."
Emily couldn't help but bite down on a grin as she watched Alex dig into her waffles with gusto. In spite of the fact that it was well after seven PM, Alex ate like she hadn't seen food in a week.
Alex caught her gaze, raised a brow. "What?"
Emily shook her head, still grinning.
"I didn't have time to eat lunch between classes," she defended herself. "Not that it would've stayed down anyway."
Frowning, Emily asked, "You're still getting sick?"
She shrugged. "It's not so bad," she insisted. "My TA is getting more lecture time than I am, though."
Emily didn't seem reassured by that. "Have you talked to your doctor?"
"Not yet," she confessed, seeming almost embarrassed. "I wanted to be certain I'm keeping it before seeing my OB."
Emily's expression was soft, sympathetic, but it was clear she wanted to say something and was debating whether she should.
"I'm going to Planned Parenthood to talk about my options," Alex blurted out before Emily could speak. "And maybe... I mean, if you have time and, you know, don't hate me too much, you could come with me?"
"Alex..." Emily started, trailed off with a sigh.
She shook her head. "As friends, of course," she added, attempting a smile, but it was desperate and pleading.
Emily sighed softly, knew that she never could have denied Alex anything, no matter how angry she may have been.
"You've never been to a clinic like this before, have you?" Emily asked quietly. She had her hand wrapped around Alex's still – neither had quite been able to let go.
She shook her head. "I never... I mean, there was no...no reason," she stammered. "I've only ever been with two people, only been pregnant once. Well, twice, I guess." She shook her head quickly.
"It's okay to be scared," Emily assured her. "I was..."
Alex attempted a smile, but it was clearly shaky. "Thank you," she whispered. Emily stroked her hand gently over Alex's hair, carefully weaving her fingers through her locks, before seeming to realize that may have been too affectionate, too tender.
Their moment was interrupted by the doctor coming into the room. Emily moved to give them some privacy, but Alex wouldn't let go of her hand.
Emily wasn't really listening as the doctor spoke, far more focused on Alex's face, watching the way her emotions played across it. It was clear she was for more terrified than she wanted to let on...not that Emily could have blamed her.
She was blinking hard to keep her tears at bay and her hand was trembling in Emily's grip. Without a word, Emily just tightened her grip.
Alex glanced over at Emily and they silently shared a conversation in which Alex offered her thanks. Emily just nodded once.
Then, the doctor was preparing the ultrasound machine and Alex's thankful expression turned to one of fear. Emily brought her hand up to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to her knuckles.
As the machine's screen flickered to life, the sound of the baby's heartbeat filled the room, and Alex let out a shuddering gasp. She clapped a hand over her mouth.
"Alex?" Emily whispered. "Are you okay?"
She shook her head. "I... I can't..." she stammered. "I can't do this..."
Without further conversation, Emily knew exactly what she meant. She'd been in the very same spot before, she knew how difficult it was to make this decision.
"Are you sure?" Emily whispered.
She shook her head. "No. Not at all. But..." She sighed heavily. "I think I need to keep this baby."
Emily nodded. She suspected Alex would make that decision. Had known from the beginning.
And part of her hand known from the beginning that she was going to help her. It was just who she was. Who they were together.
