I.

The morning after Halloween Harry was enjoying his breakfast with Ron and their new friend Hermione when his family owl, Noctua, landed in front of him on the Gryffindor table. The envelope was bright red and smoking slightly.

Harry faltered. He had only heard of Howlers but this had to be one. It matched the Weasley twin's description perfectly. They had told him of the various Howlers Molly had sent them over the past years.

He looked over at them for help. They just grinned. "Just open it and get it over with," Fred advised.

"It only gets worse if you ignore it," George continued.

They looked like they were rather enjoying themselves. Harry sighed. Well there was nothing for it, he would have to open it eventually. He didn't really fancy it exploding in his face. He took a deep breath and held it while he opened the envelope, turning his head away from the letter in preparation.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!" Lily's voice exploded from the letter. "FIGHTING A MOUNTAIN TROLL?! THAT WAS SO IRRESPONSIBLE AND RISKY! WHY COULDN'T YOU LET THE PROFESSORS HANDLE IT?!"

A different voice cut in, also screaming but not nearly as loud or as angry: "REALLY KID, WHEN I SAID GIVE THE PROFESSORS SOMETHING TO REMEMBER, I DIDN'T MEAN NEARLY GET YOURSELF KILLED!" That was James, he sounded a little stressed at the prospect of his son taking on a Troll but was mostly shouting because he enjoyed being loud.

An annoyed huff that was clearly Lily's was heard, her voice was scarily calm: "You told him what?"

"Ah," James sounded nervous. "Well, anyway kid, good on you for not dying. And on the topic of not dying a horrible, terrible, painful death... wish me luck."

Scuffling, a door being flung open, then: "JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER! GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME MERLIN!"

Silence followed, then after a few distant screams, Sirius' cheery voice sounded: "So, a Mountain Troll huh? Not my first choice when it comes to fighting magical creatures. But hey, it sure as hell made an impression. Nobody's going to forget that anytime soon. Good on you pup. Maybe let Moony give you some pointers before you run off and fight something next time. I'm not saying your method wasn't effective, it was quite brilliant actually, but there are other ways that work just as well."

More shrieking from the background: "Oh wow, she really perfected that over the years. I thought that curse was as good as it was going to get when we were in school. I was so very wrong. Never underestimate women, Harry. That might just be the last mistake you ever make. Also, don't anger your mother, she can be really scary." Another yelp. "Hmm, I should probably do something now

before your mother kills your dad. Well anyway have a nice day. Say hi to Peeves from me. Oh, and one more thing," Sirius took a deep breath and then shouted at the top of his lungs: "MINNIE, MY ONE TRUE LOVE! THE WORLD DOESN'T DESERVE YOUR BRILLIANCE, YOU MAJESTIC CREATURE!"

A bark followed by a long-suffering sigh sounded: "Harry, please don't go off fighting Mountain Trolls in your spare time. Do something more productive. Remember that project we talked about?" Remus was referring to Harry exploring the castle more, he was supposed to check if they missed anything hidden. Remus wanted the Map to be up to date. "Peter sends his love and says not to do anything to get yourself killed, you promised to taste test his new recipes. He said a corpse wouldn't be able to appreciate the brilliance of his cooking. And before I let everyone get back to their breakfast, I am truly sorry for my husband, Minerva."

The letter ripped itself to shreds. Harry blinked then burst out laughing. Most of the students joined him. Quite a few of the staff members smiled fondly, even McGonagall was shaking her head in fond exasperation. He loved his family.

II.

The second time it happened it was the morning of Harry's first Quidditch game. Noctua settled on his shoulder and waited for food before flying away again. Harry gulped. Why had he been sent a Howler? Again?! What had he done wrong this time?!

Nervously he glanced up at his friends. Everyone in the Hall held their breath.

"I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, KID! LILY AREN'T YOU PROUD OF OUR SON! THE YOUNGEST SEEKER IN A CENTURY!"

"Of course I am proud of him but he still has to answer for the whole flying without a teacher present thing."

"WHO CARES ABOUT THAT?! HE IS GOING TO CRUSH THE OTHER TEAM! WHO ARE THEY PLAYING AGAIN? SLYTHERIN? OH, THEY ARE GOING DOWN!"

"James, calm down."

"CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN SHE SAYS! CAN YOU BELIEVE HER LADS?!"

"James really, you don't want to shout yourself hoarse before we get there, do you?" Remus' calm voice cut in. "Sirius, no. Go change, I'm not letting you attend Harry's first game wearing that."

"But Moony, I'm his number one fan and his Godfather, I need to show my love and support," Sirius whined.

"And you can start with dressing appropriately for a school setting full of children, Padfoot. No cut that out, I'm not going to budge on this, you can stop giving me puppy-dog eyes."

"You're no fun, Moony."

"I'm just making sure that you aren't banned from school grounds."

Harry smiled, he was pretty sure he knew what outfit Sirius had donned and even if it was entertaining watching Sirius strut around in his Muggle cheerleading outfit, he was glad Remus

made him change.

Lily spoke up again: "Darling, we'll see you in a few. I'm sorry they're a little hyperactive. Minerva made us promise not to say anything about you playing before everybody found out. They've been bouncing off the walls, sometimes literally, since they found out. Wish me luck keeping them in order."

The last thing that was shouted before the letter was destroyed was: "SEE YOU IN A FEW MINUTES FOR YOUR FIRST OFFICIAL QUIDDITCH GAME, PUP! ALSO, MINNIE, THE ONLY FEELINE I EVER LIKED, CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN MY LOVE!"

Suddenly Harry wasn't so anxious about his first game anymore.

III.

Harry was nervous about his first detention. He knew his father and uncles wouldn't be mad, they were probably ecstatic. He was worried about what his mother would do.

He was ripped out of his morose thoughts by a Howler being dropped in front of him. He sighed and tore it open.

The sound of whooping, party poppers and party horns greeted him. "YOU GOT YOUR FIRST DETENTION, PUP. I AM SO PROUD!"

"Oh, don't encourage him," came the distant voice of Lily Potter. "He can't just go sneaking off in the middle of the night, get caught and not expect consequences."

"She's right you know," came James' stern voice. "Don't get caught next time. It's against Marauder Etiquette."

"Honestly, what did I expect? Go on then, congratulate him on breaking the rules," the annoyed but also amused voice of Lily answered.

"Kid, next time we see you I expect the full story of what you were doing. I bet it was brilliant!" "I'll prepare your favourite meal for when you come back, kit," Peter said.

"And don't forget to make notes for your project, cub. I still expect your results." Remus stated.

"Why aren't you a teacher yet, Moony? You'd be the best teacher there is. No, wait, I take that back. You'd be the second best. FOR NO ONE COULD EVER BE BETTER THAN THE ETHEREAL BEING THAT IS MINERVA MCGONAGALL!"

IV.

Harry was quite proud of himself. He had approached Fred and George a few weeks after the start of the school year and told them that if they ever needed help either executing or coming up with a prank, he was happy to help.

They had been sceptical at first. They had known him for quite some time before Hogwarts as Ron and him were childhood friends. He had always been a mostly well-behaved and polite kid. They

had asked him why he wanted to join and if he really thought he was up to it.

He smirked at them, the smirk he had learned from observing his father and uncles. And asked: "Have you ever heard of the Marauders?"

They had actually bowed to him. He had laughed his arse off.

Since then they had performed a number of pranks but this had to be the best. It was similar to

something the Marauders had once done but on a much larger scale.

They had gotten detention of course but it had been more than worth it. Everybody had seemed to enjoy it and some of their teachers had actually given them extra credit for their execution. Though nobody was supposed to know about that last part.

Harry was just about to bite into his toast when his fourth Howler dropped onto his plate and Noctua stole his food. He looked to the twins who looked at the letter with interest.

"YOU TRANSFIGURED THE GREAT HALL INTO A MINIATURE VERSION OF THE FORBIDDEN FOREST AND DIDN'T INVITE US?! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY US LIKE THAT?!" His father's voice boomed.

"I'm glad they didn't put any of the creatures into it. That could have ended badly," Remus stated, calm as always.

"Well at least this time he got detention for something other than exploring the castle. Good job, pup."

"Do you think you could tell me what spells you used? I was wondering about changing up the aesthetic of my restaurant a little and that could be a fun theme." That was Peter.

"Harry, darling, at least you weren't as reckless as these four idiots when they were at Hogwarts. I'm proud that at least a little of my upbringing has stuck with you and you made sure nobody could get hurt because something wasn't well thought out-"

"Now, hang on Lily, I take offence to that. The only time when things weren't well thought out was when they didn't consult me. I always made sure the rate of potential injuries decreased drastically. In fact, you would be surprised what they thought was a good idea. Do you have any idea how much damage control I did?"

"Lily, Remus stop ruining this momentous occasion! Our very own Prongslet pulled off his first huge prank!" Sirius cut in.

"Yeah well done, Harry! Next time invite us though I want to witness the greatness that I helped create. Oh, and good on you Fred and George."

Fred and George looked delighted when they heard James' praise.

James carried on: "Next time we see you, we'll have to officially welcome you to the Marauders. Our legacy shall live on! You already know our motto and our mission. So, wreck as much havoc as possible, drive the teachers nutty and make some memories for the ages!"

"I believe a toast is in order," Sirius exclaimed. "To us, obviously, our greatness shall inspire generations to come. To Prongslet and the Vulpes Twins, who carry on our quest to prank. And lastly, to the goddess we all love and worship, Minerva McGonagall!"

V.

"WHEN I SAID 'SEND ME A SOUVENIR FROM HOGWARTS' I DIDN'T MEAN A TOILET

SEAT!"

James and Sirius' raucous laughter and Remus' barely discernible chuckle followed her words.

"Of course, these idiots love it. I think they actually framed it."

"We raised him well, didn't we, Prongs?"

"Hell yeah we did, Padfoot."

Both of them sounded incredibly smug.

"Oh for- No Sirius get down from there! You are not hanging a Hogwarts toilet seat there, not in my house!"

"Fiiiiine," Sirius wailed. "But don't blame me for your lack of Feng Shui!" "I doubt a toilet seat is going to improve the Feng Shui," Lily drawled. "You'd be surprised!"

"What bathroom do you think this is from?" Remus asked.

"I don't know if I want to find out, if I'm being honest."

"On the topic of Hogwarts," Sirius exclaimed, "James come here we have a performance to give!" Rummaging, then music started playing, slow and sensual.

"I dedicate this song to a very special person, you are the reason I get up in the morning, the one who makes me smile when nobody and nothing else can. Minnie, my heart's desire, I count down the days to our next encounter."

"And I dedicate this song to the total smokeshow that is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, you absolute legend."

James and Sirius started singing the Hogwarts school song. It didn't sound bad, in fact they sounded pretty good together but the sheer ridiculousness distracted from their singing skills.

Duel sighs could be heard. "This reminds me of graduation," Lily stated.

"Yeah. At least they don't have any statues or suits of armour as backup dancers. Although that really was quite a sight to see," Remus mused.

Sirius hit a particularly high note and a shattering sound followed. Lily and Remus groaned. "Why did we marry them again?" Lily asked.

"Temporary insanity?" Was Remus' reply.

I.

Harry blinked blearily, he felt like shit. He noticed the white surroundings and the clean smell first. Then he felt a warm heat curled up against him and four blurry shapes sitting around his bed. He rummaged around the nightstand, trying to find his glasses.

Somebody carefully put them on his face and he found himself staring into eyes that were eerily similar to his own.

"Hi mum," he croaked. "What are you doing here?"

She huffed: "What am I doing here? Oh, I don't know. Making sure my son is ok after he goes off to fight something in the bowels of the school maybe?"

"Oh."

His father sighed: "Kid, why didn't you tell someone that you knew something was going to happen?"

Harry was affronted. "I did. I told McGonagall. Only she thought I was making something up cause I suspected it was Snape who was after the Philosopher's Stone. I was wrong. It was Quirrell, who was kinda possessed by or at least harbouring Voldemort's spirit. He had Voldemort on the back of his head. That looked really weird." He scrunched up his nose at the memory.

The warm weight next to him shifted and then Sirius was sitting on his bed cross-legged, human once again. "Wait, hold up, one of your professors was possessed by Voldemort? And he was just hanging out on the back of his head? How did no one notice that?! There must have been Dark Magic radiating off of him."

"Dunno, probably the turban but it was my DADA teacher. Ironic if you think about it. He was supposed to teach us how to defend ourselves against something like that. He really was a rotten teacher come to think of it. I don't think I learned anything in his classes."

"Getting back to the topic on hand," Remus said, "how did you get through all of the security measures the teachers put in place or escape?"

Harry shrugged. "Ron and Hermione helped with the first part and Quirrell couldn't touch me. When he tried, he just crumbled? I don't know it was weird and it hurt and then I passed out."

"Quirrell crumbled?!" Peter asked, an utterly lost expression on his face.

James rubbed his hands over his face in exhaustion. Then he straitened up and cast a Patronus. "We're all forgetting one very important part of this event, apart from the fact that you are safe kid, if Voldemort was able to inhabit someone's body, he isn't dead. At least not completely. Which means that we didn't destroy all of the Horcruxes he made. Apparently, he made more than the three Founders items that we discovered. I just notified the Auror department, we need to make sure we find the rest of them before he gets another chance to make a return."

They sat in a stunned silence for a moment. Then Harry grinned. His family looked at him in confusion. "Wait till I tell Fred and George that they hit Voldemort in the face with snowballs, they'll be ecstatic."